Good came out of a potentially "BAD" situation...

This is a discussion on Good came out of a potentially "BAD" situation... within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; 'sup folks... Took place Wed night. I am helping my wife pack a few final things as she and our 2 infant boys are heading ...

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Thread: Good came out of a potentially "BAD" situation...

  1. #1
    Member Array TireFryer's Avatar
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    Exclamation Good came out of a potentially "BAD" situation...

    'sup folks...

    Took place Wed night. I am helping my wife pack a few final things as she and our 2 infant boys are heading up to the lakes for a long weekend. Both tired and our guards are down. Scenario setup:
    1140pm
    light outside the front door OFF
    kitchen lights ON
    we are both in the kitchen
    *HEAVY KNOCKING* on the front door!!! (We cannot see who is at the front door since the inside kitchen lights are on and the outside lights are off...but you can see INSIDE the house clearly!
    At this point in time, I had just locked up my carry gun in the safe in the basement as we were headed to bed and wife does NOT want guns in the bedroom, so I do NOT have anything on me... Thinking that it might be my bro-in-law (he works close by and has a habit of stopping in late after work sometimes...but he usually calls, hmmm) I proceed to the front door and OPEN IT! NOT MY BRO-IN-LAW! only thing b/w stranger and myself = screen door! I have seen him b/f around town trying to sell people (including to me once) on a story he is from out of town, ran out of gas and needs money so he can get home... I confront him and tell him I have heard his sotry b/f and it was different this time and sorry no money from me, and close the door. As I walk back into the kitchen, it hits me...this could have turned into a really nasty ordeal! As this realization hits me, I look at my wife and I can tell she just came to the same conclusion!
    She has been very leary and apprehensive about having guns in the house and me carrying, and even though I have encouraged her to come to the range to get a feel for the guns and start to build an awareness about them (I want that since there are guns in the house and if a situation arises, I need her to be able to safely operate a handgun/shotgun) but she has not commited to do so. As we both come to the same realization (w/o exchanging any words) the first thing she says to me is "go get the gun", which I am already in the process of retrieving. As I come back, she just dialed 911 to report this, and I give them a complete description of the guy (clothes, age, height, weight, facial features, smoking,...) upon which they tell me a cruiser will come on by to "check things out"...didn't happen as I was up till 145am (nerves and adrenaline). A second realization dawned upon both od us...we had reverted to being "sheep" waiting for the police to come by and make it all better for us and make the stanger go away for ever (I do NOT infer ANY disrespect to any LEO...many of my good friends are LEO in various fields, police, state police, sheriffs,...)!
    By 1230am, we are both jacked up on nerves and adrenaline and we start talking and I can clearly see she is shaken by what just happened, especially at my lack of situational awareness, which in essense, endangered my family and I! She said that she wants to go to the range (will head out there this afternoon) and is beginning to understand my reasons and the stand and responsibility (sheepdog) I have taken to protect my family (albeit not in this situation...no flames, I know I goofed! ) We discussed other scenarios and came to a conclusion that we need to spend some SERIOUS time working out and planning scenarios and how to handle them. I also learned, I need LOTS more practice and then more practice... I would not be surprised if my wife decides to take the CPL class and get her permit as well.

    All in all, a minor incident, but it opened up both our eyes, and weare opening ourselves up and have decided to LEARN from it and not repeat it!

    Thanx for letting me share... Thanx to this forum for making a TON of great information and sources available from which to learn and also have the support of like-minded "sheepdog"

    P.S. Also replacing the front (currently door = original door from 1964...top half = single pane glass, bottom half = wood door) with a Steel reinforced door w/ only a peephole, and new hardware (dead bolt).
    Last edited by TireFryer; September 15th, 2006 at 11:26 AM.

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  3. #2
    VIP Member Array Old Chief's Avatar
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    Every event in our lives may become a teaching situation. It appears that you and yours learned from this situation. When trouble happens it is eassier and quicker to pick up 1911 that it is to dial 911 and wait for what seems to be an eternity.
    One should never confuse good fortune with good training.
    Illegitimus Non Carborundum.
    In God we trust.

  4. #3
    Member Array TireFryer's Avatar
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    hehe...funny you mentioned the 1911 (daily carry)...mine is on it's way out to get night sights installed after my fron sight decided to *POP OFF* during my recent range session.... Hence, my backup with came out of the safe with me was my XD9 Service :) Looks like I might be getting a TLR-II out of this b/c my wife chided as to where my "laser sight"was, to which I replied I do not have one :( to which she said, "hmmm, we might have to remedy that!" :D

  5. #4
    Distinguished Member Array USPnTX's Avatar
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    Glad it worked out well for you. I had the same issues with my wife and it took a potentially life threatening situation for my wife to realize that having a gun around was a good idea. I too didn't waste time getting her to the range. Only problem is that I think she will end up shooting much better than me. Oh my poor ego...lol
    "Do not fear those who disagree with you; fear those that do and are too cowardly to admit it" - Napoleon

  6. #5
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    wife does NOT want guns in the bedroom
    Perhaps even this will be rethought!!

    Certainly an episode with many potential outcomes and good it was only what you described. Indeed - some plans would be of great value and I hope your dear lady does seriously rethink her stance on you being armed - and maybe later on herself as well.

    It would be rather late in the day to have fresh gun ideas if it were after you being scooped up dead or injured and her badly injured from an assault.

    Who knows? None of does of course - it's why we carry.
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

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    Senior Member Array cmidkiff's Avatar
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    Seems threatening events are the best teacher for people who are uncomfortable with guns. Problem is, many don't get a practice lesson, and are raped, injured, or murdered. If you can learn (and teach) these lessons from less serious encounters such as yours, you're way ahead of the curve.

    we had reverted to being "sheep"
    If you had retrieved your firearm, you weren't acting as a sheep... you were defending your territory. Most 'sheep' would have disregarded the event. After all, they guy didn't really do any harm, right?
    Liberty is an inherently offensive lifestyle. Living in a free society guarantees that each one of us will see our most cherished principles and beliefs questioned and in some cases mocked. It's worth it.

  8. #7
    Member Array TireFryer's Avatar
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    Talking

    Quote Originally Posted by P95Carry View Post
    Perhaps even this will be rethought!!

    Certainly an episode with many potential outcomes and good it was only what you described. Indeed - some plans would be of great value and I hope your dear lady does seriously rethink her stance on you being armed - and maybe later on herself as well.

    It would be rather late in the day to have fresh gun ideas if it were after you being scooped up dead or injured and her badly injured from an assault.

    Who knows? None of does of course - it's why we carry.
    Point taken and I think she is well on her way to rethinking and realizing the security that comes with being armed. She actually made sure I brought the XD9 to my nightstand after the incident . We did agree that I would inform her (and I have been doing so previously to an extent) when I was carrying and not so she is aware of it.

    Range time = this afternoon :) Time to stretch the legs of some .45ACP, 9mm and couple other calibers... ;) I do not have my 1911 .22LR ready else I would be taking that out as well... I am going to call a buddy of mine who has a nice selection of semi-auto .380 and .40 as well as revolvers and see if he can bring out a couple for her to try out...heck for all I know, she will take the .45acp to heart and want nothing to do with the other calibers

    MY family = done being sheeple!
    Last edited by TireFryer; September 15th, 2006 at 11:27 AM. Reason: more info :)

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    VIP Member Array JimmyC4's Avatar
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    Before I make my main point, let me say that I'm all about being armed at all times, both wife and I are, so am not discouraging that in any way.

    However, in the particular incident you described, your personal safety could have been almost 100% assured with one little preparation--a peephole in your door. Any seminar, booklet or individual addressing home security and safety will say "...never ever open the door when you don't know what/who is on the other side"...

    NRA's "Refuse To Be A Victim" is an excellent seminar, covering both security within the home as well as personal security when out and about. If you can find one nearby, attend, for it is worth the money.

    Another, more immediate, step I urge is to contact your local police or sheriff department and ask how to get an "audit" of your home done. Police and Sheriff departments usually have an officer/deputy designated to provide the service of coming to your home and doing a walk-around, pointing out how you can better secure your home.

    Home security will include discussion of things like adding a peephole to the door and use of better methods of securing windows and doors. There are things you can do that cost less than a dollar, or up to many dollars...once you've gone through your house you'll know what to do.

    Do it now...good luck!

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    Member Array TireFryer's Avatar
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    Thanx for the input JimmyC :) I edited my first post to included that this Sunday, I will be installed a Stell reinforced door with a peephole as the only accessory (no stained glass frufru stuff!) with new hardware (deadbolt and the likes...)... Have been in the process of making our home less of a target by putting up exterior lights, removing bushes and hiding places from in front of the windows, repairing and adding fencing and gates...this just prompted me to get all this taken care of NOW instead of whenever I get time!

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    VIP Member Array pogo2's Avatar
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    Experience the teacher

    I have frequently seen posts similar to this one, in which the "gun skeptic" has a scary experience and a sudden conversion to the merits of having a defensive gun readily available. Often it is women who have this conversion.

    There are lots of lessons in your posting. Your prompt attention to fortifying the front door is commendable. And the advantages of always having the handgun on your person, even at home late at night, are clear. You never know when you will need it, and it is certain that you won't be allowed time to unlock your safe when you do need the gun.

    I hope you can get your wife trained, armed, and badged with a CCW permit.

  12. #11
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    One point regarding door peepholes - and it is only my own thought.

    If darker outside than inside and someone goes to use a peephole - it can be seen from outside when there is movement. In the hopefully unlikely event that outside is an armed BG with a very itchy trigger finger - you are, while using the peephole, a perfect target - whose only protection is the integrity of the door in use.

    Probably seems a bit paranoid - but in some areas it would concern me. If at all high risk then a small vid camera trained on the outside door area, with a motion triggered light, could allow for remote assessment on a monitor and so preclude being a target.
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

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    When somebody knocks at your door at time of night, IT CAN'T BE GOOD!

    If it is someone who needs assistance, good......but be prepared.

    If it is NOT someone in need of assistance.....be prepared!

    The only time my ALL my guns are locked in the safes is when I'm NOT there. If I'm home then I''m armed or one is within reach, no exceptions.

    As far as guns in the bedroom, I'm lucky in that my wife carries as well. She keeps a Beretta next to her at night, along with 2 dogs.
    Quemadmodum gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est.-Seneca

    "If you carry a gun, people will call you paranoid. If I have a gun, what do I have to be paranoid about?" -Clint Smith

    "An unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it." -Jeff Cooper

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    Member Array WVCCW's Avatar
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    When we watch the local news my wife and I talk about things that happened. She has turned from being Firearmaphobic to liking the idea that I have guns, loaded guns in the house, even her a loaded gun in the house.
    Now if I can just get her to shoot more.
    Be Safe and Careful,
    Corbett

    Mountaineers Are Always Free

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    VIP Member Array ELCruisr's Avatar
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    I'm just glad to hear your lesson didn't carry a high cost with it. Those angels must have been working overtime! Now that the lesson is learned things can be done to lessen the possibilities of a repeat. Cameras w/low light enhancement, while expensive, are cheap if you ever need 'em. Wish I had one! But then I live in a motor home. The nice thing is I'm never more than three steps from a firearm!
    If you stand up and be counted, from time to time you may get yourself knocked down. But remember this: A man flattened by an opponent can get up again. A man flattened by conformity stays down for good. ~ Thomas J. Watson, Jr.

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    One other idea...

    Thanks for sharing... makes me stop and think about my own laxness!

    One thing we did was to install a security screen like door. All metal, it has a metal sheet with small holes in it covering the entire door which becomes the screen part, bars decorate it and would keep someone out without the screening, locking handle and dead bolt. A nice looking door, all white.
    Especially during the day, you can see out but the person at the door can't see in... unless you're back lit inside at night. I usually turn off the inside light if I answer late in the evening.
    This gives us the ability to open the door to see who's there and still have a reasonable obstacle to their uninvited entry.

    A well spent $200.00!

    The answer isn't always a gun.
    ALWAYS carry! - NEVER tell!

    "A superior Operator is best defined as someone who uses his superior
    judgement to keep himself out of situations that would require a display of his
    superior skills."

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