Best way to entice your wife to learn firearm safety and shooting?

Best way to entice your wife to learn firearm safety and shooting?

This is a discussion on Best way to entice your wife to learn firearm safety and shooting? within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; My wife had our second child a month ago and now she is a stay at home mom where as previously she worked 9 to ...

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Thread: Best way to entice your wife to learn firearm safety and shooting?

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    New Member Array 40CalPal's Avatar
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    Question Best way to entice your wife to learn firearm safety and shooting?

    My wife had our second child a month ago and now she is a stay at home mom where as previously she worked 9 to 5 like the rest of us. More than ever I'm concerned about her being home alone most of the day defenseless even though we have ADT. Back in the day (3 years ago) I use to try to get her to go to the shooting range with me, she was fearful and already didn't care much about guns. So I quit trying and now I'm concerned. Our neighborhood isn't crime ridden but crime does happen ever so often so I really want to familiarize her with using a handgun.

    Give me some examples of how you guys warmed your wife or girlfriends up to learning about shooting pistols?


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    Senior Member Array GeorgiaDawg's Avatar
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    I got my wife into it by talking her ear off about it. I told her everything about my guns: how they work, the part names, their use, how fun they are to shoot, etc. Then, I had her handle them to get familiar with them. Once she was comfortable being around them and handling them, I said to her that if she would just shoot it a few times, she'd be hooked. We finally got out to a range and she fired the first shot and said "THAT WAS AWESOME!" My work, at that point, was done.
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    Member Array ColoradoLady's Avatar
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    I am the wife, hope I can help. First, tell her why you want her to be a competent shooter. Then determine the basis of her fear. Is she genuinely afraid of guns? Some people are. If she is, ask her if she is willing to work on that fear to protect herself and your children. If she says she is, find a gun club that has either a womans league of some sort, or a club that has a "First Steps for Women" course. Being in an all female group for her baby steps might be easier for her. Ask her if she will go target shooting with you a couple of times, and get some fun targets..Battleship, Dartboard, Old West Saloon, etc. Start her with a. 22 target pistol. Explain it is a fun thing you can do together, and eventually as a family.
    Show her websites like The Well Armed Woman.

    There are lots of steps you can work through, but she has to be willing to try it. If she genuinely cannot bring herself to try it, get her a mace gun and drop it. Badgering her is both unfair and ineffective if she does not want to do it.

    Keep in mind, this response is based on my personality and the fact that I have been shooting since the age of eight. If I can help or answer questions for her, let me know.
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    Ultimately it is going to be her decision. As the old saying goes: "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink." Best you can do is point out crime in your area on the news, especially ones where the person wasn't prepared. Maybe in time it will sink in.
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    Senior Member Array txron's Avatar
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    Had this dicussion many times with my wife and she still refuses to learn how to shoot. She has been a "stay at home" wife for 17 years. The best solution I came up with is a 90 pound German Shepard trained to protect the family. She even balked about that until 1 day a solicitor came to the door unexpectantly and the dog made him turn tail and run. She felt bad, but now she keeps him (the dog) close to her during the day.
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    I just asked my wife (who is Mennonite) on what she would do if someone threatened our sons. Once she really thought about it she realized that despite our 70+lb dog a gun was the best way to protect our childern from someone or thing that intended them harm.
    A real man loves his wife, and places his family as the most important thing in life. Nothing has brought me more peace and content in life than simply being a good husband and father.

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    Tell her its shooting or sex tonight. We go to the range alot.

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    It only took me 30 years to get mine to the range. Patience works better than cajoleing for some. Others just can't wait to get there and don't need any help making that decision. Different strokes for different folks.

    Sounds like your wife is more like mine. No amount of logic worked, she had to work it out in her own time. I think my carrying all the time and the gun not going boom on its own helped.
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    Member Array PatAz's Avatar
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    I never had to entice her she likes to shoot ,and when we moved here we took the ccw course together.

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    Senior Member Array Lish's Avatar
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    For me it took someone trying to get in my door while I was home alone with the kids. I knew my neighbors had been broken into (no one was home), I knew we had someone suspicious knock on our door the year before, but it wasn't until I found the broken door and realized someone had been RIGHT THERE that I knew if someone came in I couldn't protect the kids. I'm sure whoever it was thought the house was empty and took off when they heard us, but that's what it took for me, a broken door LEO had recommended a gun when I called previously for the suspicious person, my husband had encouraged...but I had been raised without guns and fully believed a gun in the home was more likely to kill one in the home or whatever it is. Mamma bear kicked in at that point. What has surprised me about the whole thing is how much I enjoy shooting at the range now amd how different a person I am now from just a year and a half ago. I went from no guns in my house to carrying daily and always trying to find range time!
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    The biggest factor is making sure it's not YOU who teaches her. Get her into a class and preferably one where she is the sole student. The NRA basic pistol class is outstanding for new shooters and by you staying out of the initial classes she can concentrate on the instruction and not on making sure she isn't appearing dumb to you.

    This is a constantly recurring scenario, the wife worries about looking silly, dumb, stupid, etc in front of their spouse when trying to learn shooting from them and that negates any fun from the training.

    Once she has found that she can enjoy the sport and it gives you both something you can share she will be far more likely to take up the shared role of family self defense.
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    VIP Member Array Superhouse 15's Avatar
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    Tell her why it's important to you and the family, that will plant the seed in her mind. Then mke sure if she shows interest that you have a safe, reliable class available for her. If she feels comfortable with you there, be there. If not, pay for it and let her go and don't get involved. Support her decision and reassure her no matter what decision she makes.
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    Quote Originally Posted by 40CalPal View Post
    My wife had our second child a month ago and now she is a stay at home mom where as previously she worked 9 to 5 like the rest of us. More than ever I'm concerned about her being home alone most of the day defenseless even though we have ADT. Back in the day (3 years ago) I use to try to get her to go to the shooting range with me, she was fearful and already didn't care much about guns. So I quit trying and now I'm concerned. Our neighborhood isn't crime ridden but crime does happen ever so often so I really want to familiarize her with using a handgun.

    Give me some examples of how you guys warmed your wife or girlfriends up to learning about shooting pistols?

    Can't really comment on my wife, as she's all about it and it didn't take much....


    But we have a friend who's wife never really liked shooting, we were all over there having a shoot & BBQ type thing, I handed her a red-dot equipped .22 Target pistol and put up a bunch of balloons. She loved it, haven't really talked to them lately, don't know if she's gone much past that or not, but it was a positive experience with a handgun.


    Make it fun, get a pistol that's fun to shoot (not a pocket .380 with 20 lbs trigger etc.) no score, a little reactive targets, too big to miss etc.

    The biggest thing is not to pressure here, and understand that while you may make headway in safe use etc. The mental aspects of using a gun for self defense is a whole other issue. Regardless if she turns in to Annie Oakley, she may not take to using a firearm for defensive purposes.

  14. #14
    Ex Member Array Ram Rod's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 40CalPal View Post
    My wife had our second child a month ago and now she is a stay at home mom where as previously she worked 9 to 5 like the rest of us. More than ever I'm concerned about her being home alone most of the day defenseless even though we have ADT. Back in the day (3 years ago) I use to try to get her to go to the shooting range with me, she was fearful and already didn't care much about guns. So I quit trying and now I'm concerned. Our neighborhood isn't crime ridden but crime does happen ever so often so I really want to familiarize her with using a handgun.

    Give me some examples of how you guys warmed your wife or girlfriends up to learning about shooting pistols?
    You really want to know? First off, it helps if your wife or GF has any former experience with firearms. "Warming" them up doesn't really work since what you're actually doing is trying to get them into your train of thought. Reverse psychology won't work even if you know what that is. Let's just say I've been lucky enough to come across some very adept women in my day. Maybe it's just simply that likes attract. I do have one burr under my saddle though, and she'll never carry a firearm nor own one. But I got her the best OC spray available and she always carries it. Now......let's get down to where the media could become your friend if you're more than adamant about your SO (significant other) having access to or using a firearm for their own protection when you're not able to be there and save the day. Bad news. Point it out from TV or newspaper. Make it a mission to drop any available propaganda to furthering your cause (after all...it is your cause isn't it?). For you (us) to feel that our (SOs) will be able to take care of themselves while we are away. Some will be a lost cause when it comes to firearms. Realize that most normal women care for life way more than us men. After all, women give birth and nurture............destruction is far removed from their minds (and souls) for the most part. The historically evil women of our society were definitely looney tunes.....comprende?
    Again....even little hints or suggestions from you are going to do one of two things.....cut you off from certain activities, or at least get you the silent treatment for a couple of days.
    "Examples"?
    Listen......there is no 'Idiot's guide to making your girl like guns'.
    All of mine? Most were already predisposed and pro firearms. Yes......I can count them all using my fingers and toes. Two of them were hopeless. I do the best I can to educate and supply the only one of those still living. She's educated enough and she has good reasons not to like firearms of any kind forever. The others were ready....I just helped them along the path. They liked shooting, and they liked going to the range and competitions with me as well as participating in the matches.
    If there's any way I could make you feel more comfortable being with your SO (significant other) and slim hope on your part for them to become Miss Rambo with the guns....it's this. Women can also be the most merciless combatants once provoked with no improvised weapons.
    Drop a hint now and then. I started one of mine out counting brass cases on a snowy winter day. Once she learned I was selling brass, she wanted to generate some brass too!
    You've just got to take women the way they are. Some are ready, some are not. Some can be persuaded, then others won't. Put aside what you want for them and their wishes will be known. Arkansas is full of girls that got what they wanted and needed, and I never had to use an idea to get them there. They were either ready or they weren't. Quit being selfish in your ways and maybe things will open up. May the Good Lord or Sam Colt see fit to bestow their blessings upon you and yours.
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  15. #15
    Distinguished Member Array Burns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GeorgiaDawg View Post
    I got my wife into it by talking her ear off about it. I told her everything about my guns: how they work, the part names, their use, how fun they are to shoot, etc.
    I tend to do this quite a bit.. most of the time the responses I get are "..uhh-huhhh.." I think I would need to take her to the range if I wanted to make any progress haha.
    pgrass101 likes this.
    Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable- JFK

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