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Respecting the homes of others?

6K views 82 replies 52 participants last post by  Hobbes 
#1 ·
Hello all,

I recently received my CCW permit and now carry full time. How do you handle visiting friends or relatives who may be uncomfortable with your gun in their house.

Do you get permission from them? Do you just hope no one ever finds out? I know at relatives houses a lot of hugging goes on. It's just a matter of time before someone hugs the wrong spot.

I have been locking my pistol in my truck when visiting out of respect for what I think are the views of my hosts. Should I just sit them down and explain my pistol is much safer in my holster in their house than it will ever be in my truck?

How have others handled this?
Just a note: I flat out refuse to carry in church.

Thanks
 
#67 ·
Well... South Carolina goes further. You have to ask and get permission. And it also includes no carry in Churches too.

PROHIBITED CARRY LOCATIONS



A Concealable Weapons Permit (CWP) holder is prohibited from carrying a handgun at these locations:



Premises of private or public school, college, university, technical college, other post-secondary institution (without express permission of person in charge of premises)(Section 16-23-420)(Felony - $5000 and/or 5 years imprisonment)



Inside public-owned buildings of any kind, except at Interstate highway rest areas (Section 16-23-420)(Felony - $5000 and/or 5 years imprisonment)



Inside an establishment licensed for on-premises consumption of alcohol (Section 16-23-465)(Misdemeanor - $2000 and/or 3 years imprisonment)



Into a private residence without permission of owner or person in legal control or possession, as appropriate (Section 23-31-225)(Misdemeanor - $1000 and/or 1 year imprisonment)



A place where carrying is prohibited by proper sign (Section 23-31-235)(Misdemeanor - $200 or 30 days imprisonment)



A CWP does not authorize carrying a firearm:

Into a law enforcement office or facility

Into a detention or correctional facility

Into a courthouse or courtroom

Into a polling place on election day

Into an office or business meeting of a governing body of a county, public school district, municipality, or special purpose district

Into a school or college athletic event not related to firearms

Into a day care or pre-school facility

Into a place where carrying of firearms is prohibited by federal law

Into a church or other established religious sanctuary, except with express permission of the appropriate church official or church governing body

Into a hospital, medical clinic, doctor’s office, any facility where medical services or procedures are performed, except (employees of the facility) with express permission of the employer

Violation of these provisions is a misdemeanor – not less than $1000 and/or imprisonment for 1 year and revocation of permit for 5 years.


To me it would depend on who's house and how comfortable I felt there. I certainly would not lose a good friend nor family member over it if I felt safe to leave it locked in the car. And I certainly think everyone has a right to thier own wishes as to their own property or not.

But legaly it appears it depends on your state. But moraly I think it depends on who you are and where you are. And even if its allowed I think its best to respect the owers wishes. Don't go there if you don't feel safe. That part is your choice.

Personaly... I prefer to be the ONLY one with a gun.... :)
 
#70 ·
FL law prohibits CCW into a polling place. Oh, and all the elections volunteers are psychic and can pick CCWers out of a crowd, so you'd better be sure to leave your gun at home when you go to vote. :rolleyes:
 
#71 ·
Folks

One thing that hasn't been really stated.

A CCW is a permit providing the legal permission TO carry, not a mandatory requirement that you HAVE to carry.

The decision to carry or not to carry is yours and should be purely risk based upon your actual exposure and shouldn't be used as an excuse to get out of going to see Aunt Gertrude and her damn awful meatloaf.

If I carry to Aunt Gertrudes and she has strong feelings against carry AND there is not actual risk either there or on the loooooong 8ft walk back to the car, then for family harmony .........

Of course as was stated earlier, where the home has a real ne'er do well in it or if the neighbourhood has questionable safety etc then different actual risk, different actual needs.

Select your risk appetite and make a decision on that, not a "This and no other" response.
 
#72 ·
Just because you don't see the risk now...doesn't mean it isn't there. There are plenty of random home invasions in perfectly "safe" neighborhoods all the time. Just watch the nightly news and/or boards. They pop up every week. As for the family harmony part...just be sure to remind them when you all meet at the pearly gates that you didn't do anything for fear of endangering family harmony.
And as for the awful meatloaf - ANY excuse is a good excuse!:rolleyes:
 
#73 ·
But if we dwell on every tiny risk we won't even go outside. Because lightning might just strike us out of the clear blue sky and we got no protection plan for that.... there is a level or risk assessment thats normal and one thats beyond rediculous and incapable of eliminating all risk. The trick is to minimize it. You cannot ever completely eliminate it. Even if your carrying, there is no garantee that the outcome will be favorable to you 100% of the time.
 
#75 ·
In TN, the property owner has the right to refuse guns on their property or in their homes....

I will recognize and respect other's rights, as I wish them to respect mine.....

That being said, I do not advertise the hand gun in any way...
 
#76 ·
What would be your position if you KNEW someone well enough to think that person should NOT bring a gun into your house but he/she had a CWP anyway... Wouldn't you want the right to refuse him/her to be carrying on your premises? Since thats a threat to you as well?

Thats why its there. It's not irrational at all in that case is it?
 
#81 ·
Turning the tables in this scenario doesn't really work well, because you're asking us to put ourselves in the position of being the irresponsible jerk who actually is a danger to others specifically because he has a CWP and carries a gun. I don't think I'll ever see myself as a danger to others just because I carry a gun.

Sure, I would want to reserve the right to bar such a person from carrying into my house, but how many of us know a CCWer who we actually have a legitimate fear is going to do something stupid, reckless, dangerous, or deadly with his CCW in our house during a typical visit?

I don't know anyone who fits the description of someone I worry about having a CWP. But don't you think that if someone came for a visit and had a gun on him, he'd be very unlikely to take it out and do anything with it unless either there was an invasion happening (in which case it might be good that he had the gun) or if the conversation turned to CCW and everyone started showing theirs off. In the latter case, of course, I would be watching for proper gun handling and clearing, and would give a lecture if anyone was screwing that up.

Hmm... If I knew a person who was so reckless that I thought he couldn't carry a concealed handgun in a holster on his person at my home for a visit without that gun becoming a problem, I would probably do well to reevaluate whether I wanted to associate with that person at all.

And if I said, "Don't ever come over with a gun on you," and he said, "Okay, I won't," he might very well continue to do so on into the future and I would know nothing about it unless I either frisked him on each visit, or the gun did become a problem. But if it remains concealed and is never used in my home, how would I ever know?
 
#80 ·
He/she might be family member or spouse of same... :confused:

He/she might be fine when sober but not trusted completely to remain so... and you don't want to deal with that possibility and be worried about that all night.

Your house may be hosting the company christmas (etc etc) party and people you don't even know are there.

There are a group of reasons you end up with people in your home that you would just as soon not have... or even know well enough to determine if they are trustworthy. You may be perfectly fine with them being in your home as long as they are NOT armed. And its your right to decide this. Not theirs. If they don't want to come they don't have to, do they?

Far as I can tell, the states do not have a morality/stability test into their carry permiting process. I don't have to assume every one that has one should have one. Its my property. I get to decide who's carry permit is valid there. It's my domain. Not the states.
 
#79 ·
i was going to visit my best friend while he was in at his parents house. i have been around these people so much, they call me their other son, this last time he came in, i stopped by his dads house to pick up my buddy, as i walked in i gave his mom a hug, and said hi to his dad, he looked down at my gun and asked if from now on could i not bring it in here anymore (at this point this was probably the thousandth time i had brought the gun in there, and he never had a problem with it before) i just looked a t him waiting for him to laugh, but he never did. i told him no problem and went to my car, and stayed there until my buddy was ready, and i have not been back since. no hard feeling, just chose the gun over access to their house
 
#82 ·
Are we talking about open carry, here?

If so, that's quite different. A gun on someone's hip is a big elephant in the room that no one feels comfortable talking about -- at least, in some circles.

I think that if I were you, and had a good relationship with this man, I would ask to discuss the matter with him, and impress upon him that my feelings are mildly hurt that he views me having the gun sort of in a vacuum -- as though he doesn't know me, and know me to be a reliable, responsible person who can be 100% safe with the gun.

I would also ask him if he would mind equally if I were carrying a gun concealed at his house -- if it were just the seeing it that made it an issue. Maybe he's open to me having the gun if it is unseen.

And if he's just opposed to the idea of me carrying a gun period, I would want an opportunity to simply tell him that I find it offensive that he feels, for no good reason, that I cannot be trusted in that way. Ask him if he worries that I'm going to shoot random people at the mall simply because I am licensed to carry a gun and do carry one.

The man has some explaining to do as to the reason for his request. Of course, he has the right to make the request, and even to bar guns being carried in his home; but such a policy really owes a reason, especially when it is enforced against a trusted family friend with no strikes against him.
 
#83 ·
If I had a friend who was known to be unsafe and I knew carried, then yeah I might ask him not to bring it in my house, but then I wouldn't hang around him at all because I dont want to get shot.

I am safe with guns, so there is no RATIONAL reason why somebody would ask me to leave it behind. There is also no reason why I should let them know I'm armed at all.
I refuse to cater to irrational fears of inanimate objects.
 
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