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Kinda confused

3K views 35 replies 31 participants last post by  thedogfather 
#1 ·
My girlfriend and I had some friends of hers(a couple) over from work. The woman had recently bought an LC9 and wanted to get her cpl(through class with my gf), she wanted to talk to someone who had a cpl and ask some questions. I said yes not a problem, at some point in the discussion i said here i'll show you my pocket carry, i pulled my little .380 out of my jeans front pocket(safely pointed away) and they kinda freaked out on me. He asked, do you just carry a "GUN" around in your pocket. I said, while........yeah? If i don't have the .45 on my hip. They got really defensive about it, so i put it away, and tried to explain why i carry and why my gf is going to. Now she doesn't want to go through the class. So i just left it at that....

Any input, and what to say to them?

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#2 ·
No need to say anything to them, they were clueless to begin with. What did they expect someone with a permit to do, carry it in a safe?
 
#3 ·
I am glad to talk guns to anyone who is interested. However, if they want to see what I carry, or how I carry it, they need to come to the range with me, or take the class.
 
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#4 ·
Was he surprised you:

A) Had a gun at all
B) Pulled it out (like "Dude, you've been drinking... put that away!")
C) That you didn't have a holster (not clear on that)
 
#9 ·
If she's a keeper, give your girl friend a chance to get over it. It's one thing to talk about concealed carry, the reality is another. My wife wasn't much in favor of it at all. Didn't even want to discuss it. Neither did the two sisters that live close enough to see often.

I just kept packing. Wasn't "in her face" about it, but didn't hide it either. We had to stop at the courthouse once and I locked it in the glove compartment. She said, "Oh, you are packing."

I said, "Yup," and got out of the car to go in the courthouse. I followed a similar approach with my sisters. Now my wife has her permit and carries now and then, my sister and niece in NY have their permits and carry almost daily. My other sister recently bought a Colt Detective Special in .38SP and is completing her permit application. Her gentleman friend just got his permit last week (and P238 to go with it).

The low key good example over time seems to work well.

That said, I never take out my carry gun to show people unless I'm at home. When I do, at home, I go to another room, clear it, and then show it to them.

Fitch
 
#11 ·
"Pardon me while I whip this out"

Sorry I am a fan of Blazing Saddles. It sounds to me like a case of I will get a gun, get a permit and hence now I am safe.
 
#14 ·
That sounds really weird. Maybe stupid. I'm torn between the two. Let's review. She (the other woman) bought an LC9. She is looking to get a CPL. She wants to talk to someone that currently has a CPL (you) and ask some questions concerning said CPL. I'm assuming the discussion turned to carrying and then you showed them your present carry solution. They freak out cause you're carrying. My head just 'assploded. I'm going to go with stupid.

Did they give any reason why they were freaked out? That is the part I cannot get my head wrapped around. Why would she be looking to get a CPL if carrying freaks her out?
 
#16 ·
... They freak out cause you're carrying. My head just 'assploded. I'm going to go with stupid.
LOL. I'm going with this. Sounds like she read an article in Cosmo that said it's "tres chic" to carry a sexy little gun, impulsively bought one, thinking that she was some sort of a rebel... then finding out that millions of others are also armed was a cold slap of reality. I say blow these people off. I personally don't have the motivation or energy to deal with people like that.
 
#15 ·
Sometimes I think little pocket guns have become the in thing with the yuppy crowd. Its good and bad. The good being that they are getting guns for self defense, the bad, what the OP experienced....
 
#17 ·
Personally, I think the mistake was taking your gun out without warning or asking if the wanted to see how you CC.

I was over at a friends house one day eating lunch and the talk turned to CC. He knew I had a CWP; but had never been aware that I carried all the time.



Friend; "How often do you carry?"

Me; "All the time"

Him; "Are you carrying now?"

Me; "Yep!"

Him; "You can't possibly be concealing a gun on your person dressed in shorts & t-shirt; let me see!"



I lift the front of my shirt and show him my 24/7 sitting AIWB in a CBST.

Another friend of ours, (a preacher & Hospice councilor) was also eating with us and said he was also CCing. So, we began to show him our CC rigs.

As it turns out, our friend is the only man in our "circle" who has yet to get his CWP. He says he just doesn't have the temperament. (But, I think the real reason is his wife is AG and makes him keep his one pistol & two long guns under lock & key; with the ammo stored in another room.)

-
 
#18 ·
This was a good outcome, in my opinion. You showed a person who was not ready to carry that they are not ready to carry.
 
#19 ·
Don't frighten the children!
 
#20 ·
I would have pointed out that a gun isn't worth squat if you can't access it in time to use it in defense.sometimes it only takes one good kick to defeat a door jamb,if you are sitting a few feet away in the room by the time your brain reacts and processes what is happening chances are you will be lucky to draw and engage with a gun in reach.If your gun is in another room the BG will be at an advantage and you will very likely be unable to reach it.
I've seen way too many people buy a gun and never shoot it,a lot of them think that just pointing a gun will scare somebody off
 
#29 · (Edited)
^^THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^^


They sound young and dumb and naive.

Let them go their way.

As to what to say to your GF.Don't worry about it.

Tell he that you worry about her when you are apart, but you won't force her to carry if she is unwilling to, despite the lawless rogues out there.

Oh and also show her these stories.

Stephen Perry
The Shootist: One Man Got Involved. The Perry Stephens/George Temple Incident

Channon Christian and Christopher Newsom
Channon Christian, Christopher Newsom murders News for Knoxville, TN from Knoxville News Sentinel
Murders of Channon Christian and Christopher Newsom - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Medical examiner describes victims' torture in Cobbins trial

Petit family
Petit Family Killings News - The New York Times
Gruesome Petit Trial Testimony: Suspects Snapped Photos During Assaults - ABC News

Lots of insane murderers out there just waiting to prey on somebody.
Does she want to be THAT next somebody?
 
#22 ·
A concealed carry permit doesn't make us any wiser or any more able to effectively defend ourselves. Our permit just enables us to be within the law regarding concealed weapon carry. The wisdom & effectiveness only comes from awareness, mindset, training & practice. If a perspective permit seeker isn't interested in making THOSE efforts, then the pursuit of their permit is a waste of time.
 
#24 ·
I don't quite understand - Your friend owns a gun, will start her classes with your girlfriend yet they freak out when you safely show them your pocket carry. If I live 100 more years I'll never understand the human race.
 
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#25 ·
Talk about confused!

I've just noticed that most of your responders carry frequently, very frequently.. Some may actually be carrying as they post!

Wow! I thought this was Defensive Carry, and the members only carried when they needed to defend themselves.

I'm flabbergasted! You people make me nervous!

/sarcasm

I think that makes as much sense as going over to your house to get an experienced opinion on concealed carry, and my choice of weapon... And then "freaking out" on discovering you actually carry, even at home. And discovering you have more than one gun,'cause you ain't packin' the one we were gonna talk about.

Go to the In The News subforum and look for posts I've made about home invasions, in broad daylight, with guests in the house (I'm sure there's at leat one). Follow the links to the news story and print it. Send it to 'em with a note that says "any time, anywhere". (you'll have to mail it 'cause they probably won't come over again... You're a "gun nut".)
 
#26 ·
It happens. I have had close friends who know I enjoy guns, have gone shooting with me, and know that I legally have my ccw still look at me like I'm a nut job when for some reason they actually see me carrying a gun, or realize that I have a gun on me.

Then on the other side of the spectrum I have a close friend who makes remarks all the time about the fact that I carry, to the point where I had to have a talk with them.

Yet both truly are great friends, they are just completely clueless about the meaning and responsibility of concealed carry, and how it isn't a game or something to take lightly.
 
#27 ·
I'm sure they're idiots, BUT, sounds like there may be more to it. If they were that bat-poo crazy/unpredictable, why would you have invited them into your home at all?

As far as someone seeing my carry, in my home, it's on my hip, visible, if not sitting on my lap in the holster. Everyone in my home sees it, the deliveryman sees it, my rabid, foaming-at-the-mouth AG mother-in-law sees it (kinda funny, she served in two branches of the military and flinches at the word "gun"). If they don't like it, turn around at the door bro, this is a house where all American ideals rule supreme.
 
#31 ·
Whenever it's come up in a conversation and and someone asks me if I carry at home and why, I tell them that you never know when you'll need it. That and 100% of home invasions occur in the home.
 
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#32 ·
There is a funny thing about people that I have noticed. Go to the pet store and watch how people will walk right up to the aquarium with the snakes in it. They get really close to it and some will even tap on the glass. Take the snake out and watch how quickly they back up. You can see the fear in their face.

As long as the danger is contained people can hide their fear. I wouldn't write these people off just yet. Invite them to a range and let them pet your (and theirs) gun in a more controlled enviroment. The fact that they have expressed interest in getting a CWP and have also bought a gun tells me they aren't anti-gun people.

The effort to help preserve our 2A right begins with us. I don't think we should just expect a new gun person to start strapping on a gun and reading gun magazines from day one. Even a baby uses a teether before they get teeth.
 
#33 ·
I take it the "he" in the story isn't taking the CHL class and pursuing a CHL.

Seems to me the ones who freaked don't understand the "carry" purpose of a CHL. That's the whole point: being armed when going outside the four walls of one's home.

Fact is, criminals only occasionally do home invasions, bringing crime into one's own home. The vast majority of violent crime occurs when we're out and about. Most folks can't be effectively capable of withstanding violent attack without having an effective anti-violent-attack tool with them. Hence, CHL and the practice of carrying a firearm everywhere it's lawful to do so.

And there's really no way around this point: our sole purpose when faced with violent criminal attack is to survive it, no matter what the odds, no matter what the weaponry brought to bear against us. Much of that's going to depend on basic mindset and training, and part of it's going to depend on weaponry we ourselves train to use effectively. Most crimes will pass us by. The few that do blow up near us might well threaten or harm us to some extent. The rare few that are truly deadly are the ones for which we carry and train with weaponry, although we dearly hope we'll never have to see such violence. THESE situations are what the carry gun is for. Quite simply, presuming one trains effectively to use it and manage such situations, it's the one weapon that can help most folks effectively withstand violent deadly attack, and it's one of those weapons for which there are truly no good alternatives.
 
#34 ·
Try taking a look at it from their perspective...

Here's what she might be writing on some forum she visits:

I went over to my girlfriends house and while I was there I thought I'd talk to her boyfriend about getting my CPL because he has his CPL. Everything was going fine and he was answering some of the questions that I had then it got really weird and uncomfortable. All of a sudden he says, "I'll show you my pocket carry". Before I could respond, the next thing I know is he pulls this loaded gun out of his pocket and starts pointing it all over the room. What was he thinking! Perhaps he wasn't thinking at all or maybe he was thinking the kitchen cabinets and the refrigerator were going to magically turn into a bad guy that he would have to shoot. It was really scary. I wasn't sure if he was going to point that loaded gun at me or not...thankfully he didn't because if he did I probably would have crapped my pants. He really freaked me out.


Regarding your question about what to say to them, how about something like this...

I am so sorry I unholstered my loaded firearm in front of you like I did. Please accept my apologies for misjudging your level of comfort with firearms. I won't let it happen again. Perhaps we could try and start over. I'd like to be able to help you in any way that I can. We might be able to raise your comfort level a little bit if with sat down in front of an unloaded firearm and went over some of the basics together. How does this sound to you?
 
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