Hopeless situation?

This is a discussion on Hopeless situation? within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Perhaps some strategically placed NRA articles about how handguns have actually saved someones life would be of benefit. The NRA Freedom Magazine is full of ...

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  1. #31
    Ex Member Array lizjimbo's Avatar
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    Perhaps some strategically placed NRA articles about how handguns have actually saved someones life would be of benefit. The NRA Freedom Magazine is full of such articles. Her fear is misplaced and needs something hopeful to replace it.

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  3. #32
    Member Array Scramble4a5's Avatar
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    I agree with Wingit. He knew this going in. I don't blame her, she was traumatized. Counseling doesn't heal everyone.

  4. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scramble4a5 View Post
    I agree with Wingit. He knew this going in. I don't blame her, she was traumatized. Counseling doesn't heal everyone.
    True, traditional "talk therapy" would be fairly useless for treating this particular phobia she has. To the OP, learn what
    "graduated exposure therapy" is (it is quite intuitive but it needs to be done carefully and is often botched by the inexperienced
    practitioner). Simple phobias such as your wife's are often among the easiest of the anxiety disorders to treat.

    OTOH, you said "I do" and now is the wrong time to let this concern damage your marriage.
    If the Union is once severed, the line of separation will grow wider and wider, and the controversies which are now debated and settled in the halls of legislation will then be tried in fields of battle and determined by the sword.
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  5. #34
    Ex Member Array detective's Avatar
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    It's not unlike Post Traumatic Stress disorder - or without the jargon which makes it sounds like an illness out of nowhere, human beings can have certain horrific experiences branded into them, which they continue to react to as if it was happening.

    Forget the gun-reason, just for added help in dealing with such an event and its aftermath, a competent therapist would be really helpful for anyone suffering this way.

  6. #35
    Member Array tet4's Avatar
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    People can and do change, all the time. He needs to respect her, and she needs to respect him. They both would probably benefit from reading corneredcat.com just so they can get a perspective of a reasonable woman who carries a gun.

  7. #36
    VIP Member Array Eagleks's Avatar
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    First, smart BG's don't burglarize, do home invasions, or robberies in the poor areas of town. I love it when people say ... "well, I live in a nice area" ...... what kind of area you think they are going to want to rob ?

    Second ; obviously she's blaming the gun, for what a person with one did ...... that's not the gun's fault. Any decent counselor can help her with that one, if they themselves aren't anti-gun. That's like blaming a gun , because someone committed a murder with it..... no, it's the murderer's fault... not the gun.

    I think there is more to this than what she's saying, .... I 'm inclined personally to believe she had some strong anti-gun sentiment before that incident ever happened in the first place. Most people react after an incident, with the desire to have a gun for protection in the future, not vice versa. So, she may be using this "incident" as only a 'justification' of what she already believed before that. Concentrating on the wrong thing, won't let you make progress .... you are going to have to get to the core of what the real issue is, before you make any progress. I don't think you have found out what that is yet.
    I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. --- Will Rogers ---
    Chief Justice John Roberts : "I don't see how you can read Heller and not take away from it the notion that the Second Amendment...was extremely important to the framers in their view of what liberty meant."

  8. #37
    Senior Member Array Andy W.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eagleks View Post
    First, smart BG's don't burglarize, do home invasions, or robberies in the poor areas of town. I love it when people say ... "well, I live in a nice area" ...... what kind of area you think they are going to want to rob ?
    You've made a good point there.
    America: Your government is not ignoring you, it's insulting you.

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  9. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by nhsig2022 View Post

    My Dad explained the gun was not the problem it was the person on the other end.
    I hate the "wife" was injured and traumatized with such long-lasting effects, however maybe she's focusing on the wrong thing to fear.
    Turn the election's in 2014 to a "2A Revolution". It will serve as a 1994 refresher not to "infringe" on our Second Amendment. We know who they are now.........SEND 'EM HOME. Our success in this will be proportional to how hard we work to make it happen.

  10. #39
    Senior Member Array VBVAGUY's Avatar
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    Maybe taking her to some handgun safety classes with other people that have the same mind set as her, can help ease her mind and change it. Just a thought. God Bless

  11. #40
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ppkheat View Post
    I hate the "wife" was injured and traumatized with such long-lasting effects, however maybe she's focusing on the wrong thing to fear.
    My thoughts, too. The fearful thing is really the ability to commit violence and the accessibility most people have to potential victims. Boosting awareness, altering certain lifestyle elements and hardening access points could all improve the chances of effectively surviving future encounters without such negative impacts. Weaponry's often a part of that.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
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  12. #41
    Senior Member Array TonyDTrigger's Avatar
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    Shortly after I got married I told my wife I was buying a gun (I miss that colt phyton .357 mgn), she said no. I went and bought it anyway. A similar thing happened when I started carrying. Certain things are non-negotiable.

  13. #42
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    Discuss. Listen. Empathize. Listen. Nod. Listen. Buy pistolas.

  14. #43
    VIP Member Array oakchas's Avatar
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    It depends on how much he values his marriage.

    We here all know that bad things can happen to good people in good neighborhoods, any time.

    I don't think her fear is irrational. She was shot with a handgun... And that fear may be insurmountable...

    PTSD suffering vets have been known to avoid trash cans on the street... might be an IED... deer carcasses on the road... same thing... these fears are not "irrational" (at least to them), as they have had an experience in which those inanimate objects have been deadly and/or crippling.

    Your acquaintance has a very hard row to hoe.
    It could be worse.
    "The History of our Revolution will be one continued Lye from one end to the other."
    John Adams
    "A gun is kind of like a parachute. If you need one and don't have one, you'll probably never need one again".

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