Don't let your ego get in the way.

This is a discussion on Don't let your ego get in the way. within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Originally Posted by RoadRunner71 If you are secure in your manhood (or womanhood), you can have the most vile, insulting comments roll past you. You ...

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  1. #31
    Member Array steffen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoadRunner71 View Post
    If you are secure in your manhood (or womanhood), you can have the most vile, insulting comments roll past you. You can be looking for what has actaully caused the confrontation and try to find a safe way out of it.

    If you let those same comments drag you deeper and deeper into "his" whole, you will be stuck with almost no way out other than violence of some type.

    Just because I take an insult without responding in kind doesn't mean I like it. It doesn't mean I am not angry. All it means is that I have a level of self control that may save a life someday.

    That is what this is all about. The block head calling your mother/wife/girl friend a no good ...
    whatever ... doesn't know he is close to being in a gun fight, but YOU DO! There isn't a "reasonable man" anywhere that will agree that it was worth a life for insults. Sure you may only want knock his block off, but what if he comes back up with a knife of a gun? Then you are in a deadly force issue. No good, at all.

    Keep a level head and don't respond to insults. The life you save may not be your own. It may be some stupid load-mouth whole doesn't know any better.
    I like to think that people are only offended by insults when they actually think the insult is true. Why else would they get so angry.
    miller_man and bmcgilvray like this.

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  3. #32
    Ex Member Array lizjimbo's Avatar
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    When I concealed carry I do not view myself as being armed. In other words my personality does not shift gears if I carry a weapon with me. I remain the same impulsive paranoid I have always been!
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  4. #33
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    I must be the one person out of thousands of members that disagrees with this. I don't aim to escalate things, but I'm not going to allow someone to walk all over me. Carrying or not, I am not a doormat. If you are being rude and disrespectful, you're getting right back what you give me. I've worked in customer service and with the public all my career and one thing I've learned is you get nowhere being the *****.
    Well the post specifically pertains to when you are carrying and generally speaking most customer service reps are not armed.

    So if for whatever reason a person bumps into you, scratches your car, makes a rude comment about your wife, child or dog and begins a verbal assault on you or your wife and you are carrying you would give as good as you get? When the verbal turned to physical, and it would, what now? Would you duke it out, wrestle around or if he pulled a knife now what?

    At that point whatever force you use up to and including deadly force you are done for. You allowed a verbal insult to turn into a physical altercation, which led to him drawing a knife and you shooting him. You would be labeled the aggressor plain and simple and any claim of self defense would be thrown out the window.

    It is one thing to get into an argument over the phone with someone but when you are face to face and you are armed I personally choose to swallow my pride and let it go as the above post from Road Runner states. You are free to choose to do whatever you want that is your right but in the end it could cost you everything.

    I have always found in life when "You argue with idiots they will beat you every time with experience".
    BradL, 9MMare, JDE101 and 1 others like this.
    "A first rate man with a third rate gun is far better than the other way around". The gun is a tool, you are the craftsman that makes it work. There are those who say "if I had to do it, I could" yet they never go out and train to do it. Don't let stupid be your mindset. Harryball 2013

  5. #34
    Member Array GrandZJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tacman605 View Post
    Well the post specifically pertains to when you are carrying and generally speaking most customer service reps are not armed.

    So if for whatever reason a person bumps into you, scratches your car, makes a rude comment about your wife, child or dog and begins a verbal assault on you or your wife and you are carrying you would give as good as you get? When the verbal turned to physical, and it would, what now? Would you duke it out, wrestle around or if he pulled a knife now what?
    I carry 24/7. I don't understand how some people can accept being submissive and spineless just because they have the means to defend themselves.
    Toorop likes this.

  6. #35
    VIP Member Array BigJon10125's Avatar
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    This was my biggest concern when I made the decision to start carrying.
    BigJon


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  7. #36
    Member Array LaraCroft10's Avatar
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    I'm going to take this just a little bit in another direction.

    Regarding being "insecure" if you let someone's insults affect you, and all the other posts to that nature:

    I completely agree that you shouldn't draw your gun on someone solely because they insulted you.

    But words are not without their danger.

    I think I'm coming from a different perspective as a woman.

    Take this story, for example:
    I debated whether or not to share this story.

    I've had similar things happen to me. For some reason, a lot of men get really, REALLY angry when you don't want to talk to them. They spit, and hurl insults, and get really fired up about it. A friend of mine was recently intimidated by a man in his car by him roaring his engine at her and chasing her down the street (yes, she started running) and shouted insults at her solely because she didn't want to talk to him as she walked her dog. Because after all, our main role as women is to be accessories to the wants of men, right? (But I digress...)

    Luckily I've never been in a situation that escalated to this level, but as a woman, would I possibly be fearing for my life in this situation? Absolutely. Especially as a captive audience in a train (unfortunately public transportation is one place where I feel the most unsafe, but apparently my state's legislators don't care about that). This is a situation that can turn violent at any time.

    The kicker is waiting until you know your life is at stake. When you see the glint of that weapon. When you see his fist raise. Which in reality, could happen in a millisecond.

    But would I have my hand down touching the edges of my gun's grip in preparation as these insults are hurled at me? Absolutely.

    But not because my ego was bruised.

    Also, "Walk away?" Sure. But that would likely make the guy even MORE angry. That could be applicable to a lot of situations where someone wants to engage a fight with you, regardless of the gender thing. It's not always that easy.

    Just something to think about.
    Last edited by LaraCroft10; October 29th, 2012 at 08:37 PM.
    tundra and Brass63 like this.
    Proud owner of a Sig Sauer P238 SAS Explosive Space Modulator.

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  8. #37
    Member Array msc8127's Avatar
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    Re: Don't let your ego get in the way.

    Never have cared what another person's opinion of me or my family has been...even before I carried. I certainly couldn't care less now.

    sent via iCarry

  9. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by tacman605 View Post
    I found this on another forum. It makes you think as it is intended.

    I paraphrased and edited some of it for language and added a couple of statements others had made in regards to it.
    All very well said.
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  10. #39
    Senior Member Array theskunk's Avatar
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    Shoot the mouthy clown. Then you can get arrested, waste years in court, effect your job, and pay lawyers $100,000. Then there are the dead person's angry relatives.

    Maybe it's better to 'Walk away'?

  11. #40
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    It is patently untrue that you are the aggressor simply because you chose not to lie down and take the insults. If the other person chooses to move to violence due to your verbal exchange he is the aggressor, not you.

    That said i agree that we should turn the other cheek and allow these things to roll off of our backs. That does not make someone guilty of a crime if they disagree.
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  12. #41
    Ex Member Array CaveJohnson's Avatar
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    That's why I don't carry

    I tend to have an explosive temper, and don't take **** from people. I haven't been in a fight in years but I've been close, and the risk of my gun being taken or me having to use it worries me big time.

    Nothing against carrying, I'm 100% for it, but it doesn't work for me for that reason all the time.

  13. #42
    Member Array Ransom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LaraCroft10 View Post
    Luckily I've never been in a situation that escalated to this level, but as a woman, would I possibly be fearing for my life in this situation? Absolutely. Especially as a captive audience in a train (unfortunately public transportation is one place where I feel the most unsafe, but apparently my state's legislators don't care about that). This is a situation that can turn violent at any time.
    I sure get what you're saying, and I'm sorry it's that way. Men like that are just worthless--no excuses. I know in Missouri it's a felony offense to carry on a bus, but does that apply to trains too? The law says:

    4. Any passenger who boards a bus with a dangerous or deadly weapon or other means capable of inflicting serious bodily injury concealed upon his person or effects is guilty of the felony of "possession and concealment of a dangerous or deadly weapon" upon a bus. Possession and concealment of a dangerous and deadly weapon by a passenger upon a bus shall be a class C felony.
    Section 578-305 Bus hijacking, definition, penalty

  14. #43
    Member Array MASSIVE's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LaraCroft10 View Post
    Just something to think about.
    Woman's perspective or not, a very valid point.

    I was being "verbally assaulted" once by a neighbor (long story but I can surely say that I 100% didn't deserve any of it in the first place and the neighbor was all hopped up on something). I continued walking away and the next thing I knew, I was on the ground coughing up blood all over the place with two black eyes, a broken nose and a small dent in the back of my skull from his steel-toed boots kicking me while I was on the ground. Not even counting the bruised ribs and kicks to the gut.

    I probably wouldn't be here typing this right now had it not been for another (considerably larger) neighbor who saw what was happening that ran out to help me.

    Let's keep in mind that I'm in "that state" that doesn't allow its citizens to protect themselves with things that go 'bang' -- But HAD I been armed -- Figuring out that point where your "ego" turns into "if I don't take a stance at some point here, I'm going to die" -- I mean, it's pretty obvious this guy was intent on attack in more than a verbal nature. But I tried to "keep my ego out of it" and "ignore" him.

    It's my own fault for allowing myself to be jumped from behind -- But I figured that "putting my tail between my legs" was a better option at the time. There was no way I could take this guy on. But had I at least taken a more defensive stance...

    Spilled milk at this point. "Words will never hurt me" indeed -- But sometimes trying to simply ignore those words can escalate the situation very quickly.
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  15. #44
    Member Array LaraCroft10's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MASSIVE View Post
    But sometimes trying to simply ignore those words can escalate the situation very quickly.
    Word.

    @Ransom: I thought it applied to trains, too, but I may be wrong. The Metrolink is what I ride, and it has such a large, prominent, serious-sounding gunbuster sign that I don't want to take the chance...
    Proud owner of a Sig Sauer P238 SAS Explosive Space Modulator.

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  16. #45
    Member Array kmagnuss's Avatar
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    Perfect. Love it. I need to remind myself of that once in awhile.

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