Took my carry class yesterday + mother-in-law disapproves

[dangerranger]

On the other side, MIL may talk it up with her girl friends and find that shes out of touch. There are a lot of old ladies that carry here in my community. But very few that talk about it. For a small community we have two ranges and both host ladies only events. A friend who works at one of the ranges says "You would be surprised at who carries!" OH, And Congrats on your class! DR

[DefensiveCarry.com]

[ntkb]

Ok I didn’t read through all the responses but if you take her shooting it has a high chance of changing her mind.

[BurgerBoy]

With this guy: Concealed Carry 2 per week. Beginner Handgun $50 class Visa/Mastercard.

It was great!

Greg is a leader in Missouri's concealed carry legislation. He was big into getting concealed carry legal in Missouri in 2003, as well as developing our Castle Doctrine. Been instructing for 20 years, a great teacher.

It was a little tough because staring at a screen for 8 hours is hard! I'm not used to that and got a killer headache by the end of the day. But the information was good. Some of it was repeat info because I took his intro class already, but I'm always okay with reinforcing information.

I liked that he concentrated on how to prepare to use your firearm in self-defense. We didn't spend a lot of time on safety, holstering (none on holstering, actually), etc. He showed us drills to practice to develop muscle memory for how to fight in a combat situation. I found it extremely helpful. And of course, got LOTS of information on Missouri law, which is extremely important.

About half the people in the class (there were 6 of us, a nice small class) had not bought a firearm yet, so they were asking him advice on it. I got really nervous when he was strongly suggesting the revolver, going on about how unreliable semi-autos can be, etc...I thought, "Man, last time I was here he was pleased that I wanted an LCR, wait until he sees what I ended up with!" But he positively gushed over it. "Oh man, a Sig!!! Wow, this is beautiful. You can't go wrong with a Sig." I'm really happy it got his approval on it. That makes me feel even more comfortable with my choice.

I'm so excited to turn in my application tomorrow! He said they have 45 days to do it, but they usually turn it around much quicker than that. We'll see!

====

As a side note: while I was gone all day doing this, boyfriend was doing family stuff, and told his family where I was. His mother adamantly disapproves (re thread title: I know she's not legally my mother-in-law, but pretty damn close).

She's known about me doing this for awhile, but yesterday was the first time she had been vocal with me about it. She's very opinionated and has no qualms sharing them with people. She is told me she is EXTREMELY uncomfortable with me doing this, and doesn't understand why I feel the need to carry a firearm. "What, do you live in an unsafe area or something?!" I told her that nowhere is 100% safe. She told me, "You know, it's been proven that people who carry guns are more likely to shoot themselves than successfully use it for defense." I told her that was a myth. (she watches a lot of TV...she is also a staunch, staunch liberal, and while we pretty much agree 99% of the time, I'm thinking guns is somewhere we disagree). I told her a statistic I had found yesterday that says there are way more deaths by physicians every year than there are accidental gun deaths (and more gun owners to boot), and she said, "Oh, I don't doubt that." And I said, "But you trust your life with a physician." And she didn't have an answer to that.

She was also lecturing me about how I need to keep it locked up when I'm at home (first of all, it's not like we have kids, it's just boyfriend and me, I don't think she realizes that I intend to always carry it on me, until I go to bed, but I wasn't going to tell her that...I just nodded). I tried to explain to her that I'm taking a lot of training on this, practicing, and going about this extremely safely and responsibly. I don't think she cared. I mentioned how I am extremely familiar with the laws, as well, now. She said, "You need to make sure to teach Devin (boyfriend) all these laws, too." I said, "A lot of them don't apply to them because he's not carrying. But I'm going to be sure to go over the Castle Doctrine laws with him."

"What's a Castle Doctrine?"

So....I know that a lot of this stems from the fact that she is SO not used to this. Devin and his family are from Illinois. If she lived in Missouri, I wouldn't carry in her house solely because she's so uncomfortable with it, but it's a moot point because she's across the state line, anyway.

I just wish I knew a way to make her more comfortable about this. I'm going to do it whether she likes it or not, but I do care about her (she's basically family and we interact with her fairly often), and I don't like that she's so upset about it. When I walked in the house yesterday, I don't think she was doing it consciously, but as she was telling me how uncomfortable she was about this, she was actually moving away from me, like in fear (I didn't even have a gun on me!). Which kinda hurts, you know?

Any advice? Any material I can give her that focuses on educating and making anti-gun people comfortable with this?

Thanks y'all. Kudos if you read all that.

Play this song for her: ERNIE K-DOE SINGS "MOTHER IN-LAW" - YouTube

[framedcraig1]

It's all good. Just carry where you can, and let her deal with her phobias. We make a well-thought out decision to CC, and nothing should disturbe that fact. I have found out that the less folks around me know...the better it is for them...and for me. If you never act like you are CC, people tend to not think about it all. Congrats on your class. and your call on the carry question!!

[onacoma]

Lara, can I ask why you told your mother-in-law? Rhetorical!

One thing about conceal carry, you don't telegraph you're carrying! Only one of my six Kids (most over 40), 26 Grandkids, and 9 Great Grandkids knows I carry and he is a +40 year old LEO! He is my go to person to handle contacting my attorney, taking care of his mother if there is a SD event! His is also holding my back-up pistol.

So how many people do you think know you're carrying now that your Mother-In-Law knows? Again rhetorical.

On another note, you'll need to train to partner how to react and what to do if you ever need to draw you pistol in SD! I.e., call 911, etc.!

[CaveJohnson]

You'll never convince the unwilling. My recommendation is to just go about your business and your life and ignore her criticisms as much as you possibly can. As time goes on she may realize that you're still the same girl.



It's sad to see how the language has been distorted... a "liberal" point of view once upon a time meant "open-minded." One wishes that a liberal (in the classic sense) would be understanding and accepting of a different viewpoint.

It's become something it shouldn't be, obviously. Anti gun people are anti gun people.

[JBPDXOR]

I have read most of the replies and each had good responses.

I may missed what I am going to type, but I think a good reply to anyone against guns with the following,

We need to agree with them and offer an escalation of tools to keep safe.

Call 911- if time permits
Leave the area or move to a safe place
Warn the threat to leave
Have pepper spray and/or taser
Prepare to use a handgun or another weapon

Your MIL may just accept the ideas of escalation of tools because she will use some of these "tools" as well, just not all of them.

[Foxy]

Congrats on your class!

[zonker1986]

just be advised that a women that tries to dictate what you do BEFORE you are even married to her son, will get worse after you are married to her son.
If your boyfriend sides with you on this matter against his mother, you have a winner. If he sides with mommy against you...................run for the nearest exit.
You need a husband, not a mommy's boy.

Congrats on your class....sounds like you will be good to go by Christmas. Just think of all the new gifts you can ask Santa to bring with your new found hobby.

[Arborigine]

If my wife started blabbing about my CCW it would show me that I could no longer trust her. Congrats, and good luck with the potential family.

[Crowman]

Isn't that in the job description of a mother-in-law............

[Grantspastor]

Just be nice to her and develop a good relationship. She may never be comfortable with guns...but who knows? Don't make it an issue of contention. Concealed is concealed

[GlassWolf]

I have read most of the replies and each had good responses.

I may missed what I am going to type, but I think a good reply to anyone against guns with the following,

We need to agree with them and offer an escalation of tools to keep safe.

Call 911- if time permits
Leave the area or move to a safe place
Warn the threat to leave
Have pepper spray and/or taser
Prepare to use a handgun or another weapon

Your MIL may just accept the ideas of escalation of tools because she will use some of these "tools" as well, just not all of them.

Good advice, although amusingly enough, some states, while being shall states in regards to issuing a CCW/CWP/CCP, have outlawed civilian use of tasers, CS/OC, and even expandable batons as self-defense tools. I moved out of just such a state (MI) about 4 years ago. Now I'm in SC, and I can carry pretty much anything I want, from a baton, to OC, to a taser, to a .454 Cassul if I so choose. Anyway, be aware of your state laws in regards to all SD tools.. not just guns.

[ccw9mm]

What I'm most afraid of is that I see her a lot at Devin's brother's house because they just had a baby. I can see her making a HUGE fuss about me carrying over there with a baby in the house (irrational, I know). I know I'm getting ahead of myself ...

Funny, but that's almost certain to be at the top of the list of reasons to carry and bolster the defenses: protection of family, those nearest and dearest. I'd bet winning that battle of ideology (on this one point) is one on which you'll win her over. It's the one irrefutably good reason to have decent security/defensive preparations and abilities. Quite simply, it's those you read about in the news and see toes-up in the gutter who find it incapable of surviving until the cavalry arrives. She'll get it, on this point, if ever she's going to get any of it.

[dbglock]

Lara, it might be a good time to get together with your bf and figure out what MIL needs to know and vice-versa. OK, blew it on guns but lesson learned. I'm 55-yo, have a 54-YO wife and three kids in their 20's. We all enjoy shooting and guns. My parents are dead, but hers are both alive, and neither of them has any idea whatsoever that we shoot or own guns (we have 10). We knew they were liberals and knew nothing good would come of them knowing. It's like telling conservative in-laws you support the right to abortion. Don't tell 'em squat if it's a hot-button topic.