Do you tell or not tell when entering other peoples home while carrying?

This is a discussion on Do you tell or not tell when entering other peoples home while carrying? within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Whether you decide to tell someone you are carrying in their home is one of those ethical questions that only you can decide. I'm more ...

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Thread: Do you tell or not tell when entering other peoples home while carrying?

  1. #31
    Senior Member Array GentlemanJim's Avatar
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    Whether you decide to tell someone you are carrying in their home is one of those ethical questions that only you can decide.

    I'm more concerned that you would so easily allow yourself to be disarmed. I mean, you have decided that the world is dangerous enough that you have made the decision to go armed. You are prepared to use deadly force to defend yourself and your children if necessary. Yet suddenly, when you arrive at a friends home who is afraid of guns, you are willing to sacrifice yourself and possibly your children and become another helpless victim.

    There is nothing noble about being a willing accomplice to your own victimhood. (not sure if victimhood is a real word)

    Jim
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  3. #32
    Member Array revldm's Avatar
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    My barber works out of his house. He is liberal in everything except guns. We have often talked about the RKBA and we seem to agree on most of this. I asked him if he would mind if I carried in his shop. ( I have to remove my coat to get a hair cut). He said no , I could not carry there.He was afraid another customer might be upset by my gun. I know I should find another barber but it took me two years to find one who cuts my hair the way I like it and I have been to every shop in town. Besides that I am only in his shop for about twenty minutes at a time when I go so I put up with it. Also I live in SC and we do have to tell someone if we come into thier house armed.

  4. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by ArmedLady View Post
    My position is, I need to know because I have children and my sacred duty is their safety. I need to know where your weapon is so that I feel safe that it is secured, not that you are likely to leave your CH in your purse unsecured, but I have witnessed that very situation. If you are a friend of mine, I already know you have a CH. I'm not being hypocritical, I just want to know your weapon is secure while in my home.

    So most of your friends don't know you conceal carry? That's very secret agent of you. ;)
    I respect you wanting to protect your kids. I still wouldn't tell you if I was carrying before I entered your home though. ;)

    My friends may suspect that I carry and I'm sure it wouldn't be a surprise to any if they thought about it. But it isn't something I'm going to talk to them about because it isn't any of their business. In honesty I take that approach not because I'm trying to be sneaky or problematic. It is so they won't yell for me to "SHOOT HIM" when we're at the local convenience store when someone decides it would be a good time to rob the place. People have been known to do something like that and that in turn draws the attention of the bad guy and that's not good. Particularly since I'd probably be in the process of pulling the gun out when it was announced that I had one!
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  5. #34
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  6. #35
    Senior Member Array Gaius's Avatar
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    I am of the concealed means concealed camp. However, if I knew that someone was very much opposed to guns, and I was going to visit them in their home (probably not very likely) I would not bring the gun into their home. It is their home and their rules/feelings, and I must respect that.
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  7. #36
    Senior Member Array KBSR's Avatar
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    I live in the south, thank God. I don't have any liberal, anti gun friends, except on the internet. When I go to someones home, I'll be carrying, and I'll expect everyone there to be carrying, that is over the age of 21. When I invite friends into my home, I expect them to be carrying, and it doesn't bother me one iota. it's what we do. We've all done it so long, it doesn't come up in our conversations. Concealed means concealed, it really is that simple. I'll not disarm to go anywhere, and wouldn't expect anyone to disarm to come to my home.

    We have NEVER had a problem with this, not once. Maybe there is a law that says we're supposed to do so, but hell, there's all kind of goofy laws on the books. Did you know that in my state, it is punishable by 6 months in prison to commit adultery or to fornicate, inside your home, with anyone you aren't married to? Or that in Arkansas, a man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month? You think I'm kidding? Google "Silly laws on the books" and you'll see for yourself.

    Carry always, tell nobody, or say "baaa, baaa, baaa" as you leave your home. Now I feel better. LOL Be safe.
    " But if you are authorized to carry a weapon, and you walk outside without it, just take a deep breath, and say this to yourself... Baa." Col. Dave Grossman on Sheep and Sheepdogs.

  8. #37
    VIP Member Array sixgun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by atctimmy View Post
    Why on Earth would you tell? Concealed MEANS concealed.

    ETA: This post comes off a little rougher than I intended but the message holds true. Think about it. Why would you tell them? What response are you wanting? do you want to start a dialogue about guns? You can do that without telling people that you are armed.

    Now to add some wisdom from my experience: The less people that know you carry a gun the better. there will be less rude remarks, there will be less blowback from antis and there will be less chance that a friend will "out" you at a really bad time.
    +1 to this post. Thats why I always carry concealed. Again I dont want any unwanted attention drawn to myself. If it be a friend or foe.

  9. #38
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    I don't tell. Most of my friends are of like mind and also carry, anyway. I just think it's awkward and off-putting to go, "Hey, I'm coming over. By the way, do you have a problem if I bring my gun in?"

    I think with friends who don't know, it's better to let the conversation flow out more naturally whenever it happens.
    "Did you hear about that home invasion in the neighborhood last night? Oh my gosh, I'm so scared. I don't know what to do!"
    "That is terrifying. I'm glad I have a gun to protect myself."
    "You do? I never knew. Tell me about it!"

    It really depends on the friend. Some may be afraid and will always be afraid, and then end up being afraid of you. And if that's the case, it's time to revisit that friendship, because if everything they know and trust about you as a friend goes out the window because you have a gun, than maybe that's not the kind of friend you want to have.

    Or maybe you just don't want to tell at all. Some people just flap their gums too much for the sake of being the One with Something New and Interesting to Tell Everybody, and maybe that friend goes and blabs to another, who tells another, who lands in earshot of some unsavory person who ends up robbing your house when you're away.

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    My grandmother busted me once. Thanksgiving, many years ago. She gave me a hug and ended up feeling up my gun. "Betty, you take that thing outside. We are all friends here!" She knew I carried, but was really mad that I would carry on Thanksgiving, as if family holidays mean nothing bad will ever happen. So I complied. I put that gun outside in my car.
    "Americans have the will to resist because you have weapons. If you don't have a gun, freedom of speech has no power." - Yoshimi Ishikawa

  10. #39
    VIP Member Array Jetfuelrm's Avatar
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    I would never tell and we had a New Years eve party last night at my house not one person knew I had it. I was wearing cargo shorts and a t-shirt. I carry in anyone's house and never tell
    "As a strong supporter of our 2nd Amendment rights, I believe tougher enforcement of our nation's existing gun laws must be done before any more laws are enacted and put on the books."
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  11. #40
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    Didn't we just go through all this a couple of weeks ago?

    You bring a gun into my house, my home, my private property, you'd best give me the common courtesy of letting me know. In all liklihood I'll say come on in. Don't tell me and in all liklihood I'll ask you to leave. Your "rights" don't extend to my home, but a little courtesy will get you a temporary free pass. And if I let you enter at all, I'll already know you well enough to know your view on guns.
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  12. #41
    VIP Member Array Ksgunner's Avatar
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    Do you ask everyone who comes into your home if they are carrying a gun? If someone conceal carries into my home and I can't see it then I guess its not a problem. If I saw it I would ask "whatca carryin?" I don't think it would bother me very much. As far as going into someone elses home, concealed means concealed..Thats just me I guess.
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  13. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by OldVet View Post
    Didn't we just go through all this a couple of weeks ago?

    You bring a gun into my house, my home, my private property, you'd best give me the common courtesy of letting me know. In all liklihood I'll say come on in. Don't tell me and in all liklihood I'll ask you to leave. Your "rights" don't extend to my home, but a little courtesy will get you a temporary free pass. And if I let you enter at all, I'll already know you well enough to know your view on guns.
    But if you don't know (you won't) and don't find out (you won't), this entire line of conversation is moot.
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  14. #43
    Member Array spensergig's Avatar
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    Although I've had my permit since 1975, I'm still only a part-time carrier. And, I've only lived in concealed-only states: Massachusetts (de facto) and Florida (legal).

    But still...
    I don't discuss the color of my underwear with my hosts (sometimes with my hostesses ), and I don't see a need to discuss whether I'm carrying a firearm.
    As for someone visiting me, I'm only concerned with how they act. Comfortable friends don't get questioned. Uncomfortable others get invited out without asking if they happen to be armed.

    Seems like common sense to me.

  15. #44
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    Do you ask someone entering if they plan to kill you, rob you, etc.? I don't need to ask anyone anything. You, on the otherhand, are entering MY house and you don't know my views, my feelings toward guns (again, if I let you in I'll probably already know).

    People obviously have far different views on guns and carrying for self protection. In forming the owner of any private residence you're entering while armed is respectful of their private property rights and a courtest--and ths people of this country are lacking on both.
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  16. #45
    Senior Member Array brocktice's Avatar
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    Re: Do you tell or not tell when entering other peoples home while carrying?

    Quote Originally Posted by Betty View Post
    My grandmother busted me once. Thanksgiving, many years ago. She gave me a hug and ended up feeling up my gun.
    This just happened to me last weekend, I'm not used to worrying about being made by hugs! She grew up on a farm, which I think contributed to her not freaking out. She just said, "where are you living now that you need to carry a gun?!".

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