So I thought I was just being paranoid...

This is a discussion on So I thought I was just being paranoid... within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; In a situation like this, where my radar is pinging, I don't engage in ANY dialogue with the potential threat. Period. I ignore and exit ...

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Thread: So I thought I was just being paranoid...

  1. #46
    Member Array MrsHB's Avatar
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    In a situation like this, where my radar is pinging, I don't engage in ANY dialogue with the potential threat. Period. I ignore and exit quickly. If not replying makes me rude, too bad. It's probably rude to lock my car door right in front of him, too, but you'd better believe that's what I'm doing.

    Sure, the BG's questions may be innocuous. They also might be a hook - a way to get closer; a way to get me to linger a moment; a way to get me to roll down my car window, etc. The hook is a way to get past my primary defense, which is distance and barriers. I'm acutely aware that, as a female, I'm at an extreme physical disadvantage, so distance and barriers are CRITICAL. Much more so for me, than for an adult male.

    So, I see where BadgerJ is going with her comments. But I wouldn't say anything to the BG, especially something that might be perceived as a challenge or affront. Here again, if I'm responding, I'm playing into the hook by engaging in the exchange.

    So, I act like I'm deaf, and I get outta Dodge. But that's just me - YMMV.

    Good discussion.
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    "...people who carry a gun understand that they are arming themselves against a very unlikely event... People who arm themselves are not confused about the odds. They are concerned about the stakes. -Kathy Jackson
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  3. #47
    Member Array MrsHB's Avatar
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    Something else to think about:

    The potential BG KNEW which person to approach to get what he wanted (cash). He correctly assessed that OP wouldn't give him anything, so he skipped over OP and went for the soft touch (OP's dad).

    How did PBG pick his target? Probably lots of small cues. I suspect OP was acting more like I do - aloof, purposeful, keep moving. Darn, not much hope of success there. So, PBG moves on to next possibility...Dad. Dad probably gave some different cues to PBG without even realizing it: a moment of hesitation; eye contact; maybe a brief smile. It says "here's your chance - I'll probably give in". And of course he did.

    Since many panhandlers are mentally ill or on brain-altering substances, encounters are unpredictable and best avoided entirely. Besides avoiding areas where panhandlers are known to loiter, you can also avoid giving any cues that make you an inviting person to approach. And of course, don't reward such approaches when they do occur.
    00z28 likes this.
    "...people who carry a gun understand that they are arming themselves against a very unlikely event... People who arm themselves are not confused about the odds. They are concerned about the stakes. -Kathy Jackson
    NRA Life Member

  4. #48
    Senior Member Array BkCo1's Avatar
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    Fighting from inside of a vehicle is not very good tactics. Done only as a last resort. In a fight you want to get off the X. Movement is your friend. Remember fire and manuver. The best option in this case would have been to drive off. Sorry if we hurt your feelings but you asked for our advice.
    Welcome aboard and stick around.
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  5. #49
    VIP Member Array 40Bob's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrsHB View Post
    In a situation like this, where my radar is pinging, I don't engage in ANY dialogue with the potential threat. Period. I ignore and exit quickly. If not replying makes me rude, too bad. It's probably rude to lock my car door right in front of him, too, but you'd better believe that's what I'm doing.

    Sure, the BG's questions may be innocuous. They also might be a hook - a way to get closer; a way to get me to linger a moment; a way to get me to roll down my car window, etc. The hook is a way to get past my primary defense, which is distance and barriers. I'm acutely aware that, as a female, I'm at an extreme physical disadvantage, so distance and barriers are CRITICAL. Much more so for me, than for an adult male.

    So, I see where BadgerJ is going with her comments. But I wouldn't say anything to the BG, especially something that might be perceived as a challenge or affront. Here again, if I'm responding, I'm playing into the hook by engaging in the exchange.

    So, I act like I'm deaf, and I get outta Dodge. But that's just me - YMMV.

    Good discussion.
    I think ignore is not the word you meant to use. Not engaging and ignoring is not the same thing.

    I will never ignore what I have perceived as a threat. If the guy's approach and demeanor as such that your spidey senses are tingling it may be time for a simple "BACK OFF" or "NO", some of these guys are emboldened if they think they have you spooked. You do not need to be rude to tell someone forcefully that you do not want anything to do with them.
    My rifle and pistol are tools, I am the weapon.

  6. #50
    Distinguished Member Array tcox4freedom's Avatar
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    I had a similar situation happen Friday after I took my 11yr old daughter to lunch at Cracker Barrel.

    I saw a guy hanging around the back of the vehicle next to mine talking on a cell phone. As I approached the car with my daughter it looked like he was going to walk down between the vehicles and pass my daughter. I reached my hand in my pocket placing it on the handle of my newly acquired LCP and moved to block his path. He backed up and moved back behind the other car still talking on his cell phone.

    My daughter got in the car and I went to get in the drivers side. As I moved around the front. he stopped talking on the cell phone and walked behind my car and started down toward my location. I bladed & looked dead in his eye & he stopped cold then backed up about 6'. I quickly scanned the area another time (while not breaking my concentration on him), and it appeared he was alone.

    Since he had given me some space I went to get in my car; being careful to keep my eyes on him. As I grabbed my door handle he spoke to me very politely saying; "I'm sorry to bother you. But, I need someone to help me."

    I bladed again and he stepped back a couple more steps. He said, "I see you with your little girl and realize I'm a black man and you may not trust me. But, I mean no harm & need help." So, I listened while he spoke keeping his distance.

    It turns out he was a USMC veteran traveling with his diabetic father that was down on his luck. They were in a group but had got separated when his dad needed to stop. He had been stranded a few hours with no money & his dad needed to eat something.

    He seemed shocked when I pulled out a twenty and gave it to him without any reservation whatsoever. His first words were. "Thank you God!"

    His next words were "Are you a preacher?"

    I told him I was an evangelist and he ask me to pray for him and his father. I was able to lead him in a prayer to restore his relationship to God and pray for his father. He wept while crying out to the Lord to forgive him & restore him.

    I was so richly blessed by the experience and I am so glad I didn't tell him to get the "F" away from me. Folks, we really do need to be careful out there today. But, we also must not lose our compassion & humanity to care for each other.


    -
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  7. #51
    Member Array 00z28's Avatar
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    So I thought I was just being paranoid...

    Quote Originally Posted by BkCo1 View Post
    Fighting from inside of a vehicle is not very good tactics. Done only as a last resort. In a fight you want to get off the X. Movement is your friend. Remember fire and manuver. The best option in this case would have been to drive off. Sorry if we hurt your feelings but you asked for our advice.
    Welcome aboard and stick around.
    All is well on my end. I'll be sticking around. While being seated in the truck may not have been optimal, I expected my father to drive off without acknowledging the panhandler. If I were to exit the vehicle at that point, it eliminates the option of my father driving off. I clearly see both sides here, I just feel I'm quick enough to make the best of my situation, while not getting out of the vehicle.

    Had I known my dad would speak to the man, I would have never entered the vehicle and would have left myself plenty of room to maneuver. If a similar situation arises, i will do my best to stay out of the truck unless again, I'm confident we will drive off without sharing words.

    Fwiw, like said above, I ignored the question and did not respond to the man... Like many have said they would prefer to do.

    I do enjoy hearing others opinions and perspectives. When it comes down to it, I was the only one that was there to know what would and wouldn't have helped in the particular situation. That is why I put little merit to the answers that just wouldn't fit my situation. Not meaning to be rude there, but in this aspect I have he advantage of knowing the situation and being able to look back on it.

    Thanks again.

  8. #52
    Member Array 00z28's Avatar
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    So I thought I was just being paranoid...

    Quote Originally Posted by tcox4freedom View Post
    I had a similar situation happen Friday after I took my 11yr old daughter to lunch at Cracker Barrel.

    I saw a guy hanging around the back of the vehicle next to mine talking on a cell phone. As I approached the car with my daughter it looked like he was going to walk down between the vehicles and pass my daughter. I reached my hand in my pocket placing it on the handle of my newly acquired LCP and moved to block his path. He backed up and moved back behind the other car still talking on his cell phone.

    My daughter got in the car and I went to get in the drivers side. As I moved around the front. he stopped talking on the cell phone and walked behind my car and started down toward my location. I bladed & looked dead in his eye & he stopped cold then backed up about 6'. I quickly scanned the area another time (while not breaking my concentration on him), and it appeared he was alone.

    Since he had given me some space I went to get in my car; being careful to keep my eyes on him. As I grabbed my door handle he spoke to me very politely saying; "I'm sorry to bother you. But, I need someone to help me."

    I bladed again and he stepped back a couple more steps. He said, "I see you with your little girl and realize I'm a black man and you may not trust me. But, I mean no harm & need help." So, I listened while he spoke keeping his distance.

    It turns out he was a USMC veteran traveling with his diabetic father that was down on his luck. They were in a group but had got separated when his dad needed to stop. He had been stranded a few hours with no money & his dad needed to eat something.

    He seemed shocked when I pulled out a twenty and gave it to him without any reservation whatsoever. His first words were. "Thank you God!"

    His next words were "Are you a preacher?"

    I told him I was an evangelist and he ask me to pray for him and his father. I was able to lead him in a prayer to restore his relationship to God and pray for his father. He wept while crying out to the Lord to forgive him & restore him.

    I was so richly blessed by the experience and I am so glad I didn't tell him to get the "F" away from me. Folks, we really do need to be careful out there today. But, we also must not lose our compassion & humanity to care for each other.


    -
    Very touching story. Glad all went well and that you were able to handle the situation well. Also glad there are still people like you out there in the world. God bless, and keep up the good work!
    tcox4freedom likes this.

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