Friday Morning Coach..

Friday Morning Coach..

This is a discussion on Friday Morning Coach.. within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; When things happen we always replay them in our head on what we did or didn't do or what we coulda, shoulda, woulda's and what ...

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Thread: Friday Morning Coach..

  1. #1
    Member Array DubH00's Avatar
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    Thumbs up Friday Morning Coach..

    When things happen we always replay them in our head on what we did or didn't do or what we coulda, shoulda, woulda's and what we would do different if it was to every happen again.

    Last night or early this morning about 2:30 am my wife and I were leaving a local dinner here in Atlanta. Very well lit parking lot with a nice number of cars. As we are walking to the car, I scan the area for anything that seemed out of place or anyone else walking around. I do see a thing. We continue to walk to the car and I open her door to get in. As I turn to close the door, there is a guy at my 3 o'clock about 10 to 12 feet away more like a car and 1/2 from me. I didn't see where he came from or heard any footsteps or anything. He is not walking fast more like a stroll.

    As I turn he is saying "It must be nice".."It must be nice". I walk around the front of my car..between he and my wife.. As I cross the front of my vehicle, I begin to make a move towards my weapon. Now remind you its move that looks like I'm going for my keys. Now by this time I'm at my driver side door and he is moving closer still talking about something...

    My hand is now on my gun and he steps to about 8 feet from me..and I tell the dude..."Yo..don't walk up on me like that"..by this time he is about 6 feet from me or say 1 foot in front of the front of my car and I'm about at the back driver side door hand on the weapon ready to draw... He stops there and began to tell me that he is not on dope or crazy or anything like that but he need some money...I'm still at high alert...I hand him a buck with my off hand and he goes his way..


    After thinking about the encounter...I now see things that I should have done differently...what about you? All opinions are welcome..


  2. #2
    Senior Member Array Alex_C's Avatar
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    You and your wife were unhurt and you didn't need to draw. That's a win however much you scrutinise it!
    DubH00, Maverick20 and Fitch like this.

  3. #3
    VIP Member Array NC Bullseye's Avatar
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    Maybe a $5 instead? Not every person down on their luck is a crazed serial killer. Sometimes their just a person down on their luck.

    Sounds like you read them right to me.
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  4. #4
    VIP Member Array Snub44's Avatar
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    ...good SA...clear voice command...warning motion...he was wrong coming in so close...and his comments weren't such as I would have given him a dime..."must be nice" would have been answered by "get a job and find out for yourself"...I regularly feed the down-and-outs...not the ones with an attitude, though...I smell that if you hadn't handled yourself well, he would have been taking, not begging...well done...
    BelaOkmyx likes this.

  5. #5
    VIP Member Array Ghost1958's Avatar
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    Did fine
    Only think with me that would have been different would have been the answer of Sorry dude, broke myself. Which probably would have been true
    BelaOkmyx likes this.
    " It is sad governments are chief'ed by the double tongues." quote Ten Bears Movie Outlaw Josie Wales

  6. #6
    Member Array DubH00's Avatar
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    I don't mind giving to the needed or down and out..some of us truth be told could be a couple of checks away from the same situation. I gave him all I had "cash" wise at the time..I guess I was looking at "for the tactical" guys..movements and positioning for myself.. i.e. should I have moved around the back of the car to create more separation? Stopped him at 12 feet instead of 6-7...

    I know my main concern was my Wife...but like I said.. Friday Morning Quarterback...we have time to really replay the process...

  7. #7
    Member Array DubH00's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NC Bullseye View Post
    Maybe a $5 instead? Not every person down on their luck is a crazed serial killer. Sometimes their just a person down on their luck.

    Sounds like you read them right to me.
    If I would have had more I would gave a few more...I had just left the waitress a cash tip and found a lonely single buried deep in the coat pocket..

  8. #8
    Member Array BelaOkmyx's Avatar
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    Yes that ended up with straight panhandling, but he could have opted for aggressive panhandling or robbery if he thought he could get away with it. That's an option play street people use- he has a lot of time before he has to commit to using threats or force, and if he has any doubt at all, he can always revert to "Can you help me out with some spare change?"

    I deal with panhandlers NYC style, you just "make them disappear." No reaction, no eye contact, like they don't even exist. Comes natural to Yankees, but for people in parts of the country where manners are different that might take some practice.

  9. #9
    VIP Member Array NC Bullseye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DubH00 View Post
    If I would have had more I would gave a few more...I had just left the waitress a cash tip and found a lonely single buried deep in the coat pocket..
    That was said more tongue in cheek. You asked what else you should have done and since everything worked fine you don't need to second guess yourself. Sorry bout that. Really wasn't a slam on your generosity.
    DubH00 likes this.
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  10. #10
    VIP Member Array 9MMare's Avatar
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    While I dont mind giving to the poor, I try not to positively reinforce those that might be dangerous....the man you encountered was using intimidation. Luckily you were prepared for him.

    Do you and your wife have any coordinated plans for such events? Did she lock the door immediately when she got in? Is she armed, could she back you up in some way? Did she even know there was a potential issue? Prepare to call 911?

    You have a partner....you can double your effectiveness. If it was me alone, I would have been keeping the car between us at all times.
    Snub44 likes this.
    Fortune favors the bold.

    Freedom doesn't mean safe, it means free.

    The thing about "defense" is that it has practically nothing to do with guns. (As passed on by CCW9MM)

  11. #11
    Member Array BelaOkmyx's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 9MMare View Post
    While I dont mind giving to the poor, I try not to positively reinforce those that might be dangerous....the man you encountered was using intimidation. Luckily you were prepared for him.

    Do you and your wife have any coordinated plans for such events? Did she lock the door immediately when she got in? Is she armed, could she back you up in some way? Did she even know there was a potential issue? Prepare to call 911?

    You have a partner....you can double your effectiveness. If it was me alone, I would have been keeping the car between us at all times.
    I make my donation to the Salvation Army and if a street person has a legitimate need they will help him with it. These guys spend their money on drugs and alcohol.

    In the OP's situation, I would have retreated from him, rapidly. His next move will reveal his intent. A harmless person is going to say "Oh sorry, I didn't mean to scare you" and walk away." But if he responds with an aggressive move, he's going to see a gun, and it will probably be a surprise because a person like that won't understand why you retreated if you had a gun.

  12. #12
    Distinguished Member Array Hoganbeg's Avatar
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    It sounds like you did OK.

    A few considerations are: Body language. Were his hands in his pockets or in plain view? Hands out of sight means he may be hiding something. Was he avoiding eye contact; looking at you, then looking away? That's not necessarily nefarious, but it's not straight forward either.

    If he's close enough for you to hand him money he is close enough to attack you. Good job challenging him but you probably should have done it sooner, before he got so close. Even at six feet you'd be unlikely to get off a good shot. Don't be afraid to tell someone, "Stop. You're too close to me."

    Can you stop an unarmed attacker with just your hands and feet? You should know how. It's hard to justify shooting a single unarmed man. Pepper spray is an appropriate option.

    You didn't say whether there were other cars parked around you or if your mobility was restricted in any direction other than your own car. Does your wife carry too? That will change your strategy if she does. My wife does so we always try to maneuver so at least one of us has a clear shot and the person approaching will have to turn his head to keep track of both of us. We will do this until we've assessed the person. That usually doesn't take but a few seconds. Threat indicators (like hands in the pockets) lengthen the assessment time of course.

    All in all, it sounds like everybody went home happy!
    BelaOkmyx and Snub44 like this.

  13. #13
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    You mean you didn't just draw you gun and shoot him, and everyone else in a 5 block radius? You're going to ruin the press and anti's image of us!

    Seriously though, only 2 things come to mind. The first is that you need to work as a team with your wife. 2 sets of eyes are better than one, she needs to watch for things you might miss and clue you to those things. The second is you let him get too close before warning him off.
    Freedom doesn't come free. It is bought and paid for by the lives and blood of our men and women in uniform.

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  14. #14
    Member Array MJClark's Avatar
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    I never give anyone cash... Ever. I have a few gift certificates for a free hamburger or free coffee and that is what I will give them. That way, I know they will not use it to further harm themselves. I also direct them to the nearest church to explain that I cannot help them, but the church can.

    I did have one guy get hostle with me because I did not give him cash. I explained that I am not an ATM.
    jem102 likes this.

  15. #15
    Senior Member Array NCSoxFan's Avatar
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    Out and about at 0230 in Atlanta should put you in a high state of alert. I would suggest going out alone to secure the car and pick the wife up curb side.
    Fitch likes this.

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