the wife

This is a discussion on the wife within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; I have a CCW and have had one for 4 yrs. My wife does not have one and probably will never get one. She is ...

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  1. #1
    New Member Array gutterman's Avatar
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    the wife

    I have a CCW and have had one for 4 yrs. My wife does not have one and probably will never get one. She is not an anti gun person as she grew up around guns most of her life. Her dad was a sheriff in Az. What my problem is (if you want to call it a problem) is that she has no problem with me having a gun in the vehicles when we are not at home but she finds it unnessary for me to carry concealed on my body. She feels if I have to carry a gun on my person when we're out then we should'nt be there. She is well aware of the unseen dangers around today no matter where you go but how do I convince her that me "carrying" is an added measure of safety?

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    Member Array WarMachine's Avatar
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    Don't let her know your carrying. That's the whole point of concealed carry. Other than that just tell her its for peace of mind and a just in case scenario like like having insurance. Let her know you like returning home the same way you left home, safe and secure. Plus as the man your job is to protect her so there you go your protecting her. The list goes on and on. Good luck.
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    Ex Member Array MJB_17's Avatar
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    I don't have exact statistics on this, but it is well known that the vast majority of kidnap victims that do not escape in the first few moments of the attack will be severely assaulted or killed, those that fight their way out at the beginning are most likely to survive without major injury.

    Armed carjacking is a major crime these days, there have been numerous instances where a simple robbery turned into a carjacking and then led to other crimes like rape and murder. Take the Channon Christian case for instance, there is a significant possibility that had she or her boyfriend had a weapon that they wouldn't have been gang raped, tortured and murdered.

    Sometimes shock indoctrination can go a long way to convincing someone to see your side of an issue.

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    Array gasmitty's Avatar
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    Does she carry a spare tire in her car, even if she's not driving on roads full of nails?

    Does she believe that fire extinguishers are only for people who play with matches?

    Does she think life jackets are only for people who plan on capsizing their boats?
    Smitty
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    Distinguished Member Array Rcher's Avatar
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    I dont envy the daunting task ahead of you but you need to respect her opinions and views. I would keep trying but slowly. Make sure she watches the local and national news. Access to the internet would also keep the issue in her vision and the local paper. You need to slowly and steadily prove that your family deserves the right to live and by whatever means are necessary and that bad things can happen anywhere. You may or may not be successful in your endeavor but if it is important to you, it should be important to her too. Good luck.
    "Government is not the solution to our problem; government IS the problem". - Ronald Reagan 1981

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    Member Array JDavisArk's Avatar
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    How does she know when you're carrying? How to convince her of what exactly?
    Tell her that you carry no matter where you go because you love her. I figure that should be plain and simple enough without an actual ordeal making one a believer. You have my best wishes from now until you can "convince".

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    Array RETSUPT99's Avatar
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    You are already WAY head of guys with wives who dislike guns...getting her to accept you 'always carrying' seems relatively easy.
    I would certainly begin by sharing with her ALL of the local 'dirtbag' news events...she'll come around.
    As someone already posted...always CCW now, and test your skills at doing so.
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    Senior Member Array sensei2's Avatar
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    i would bet that all the adults at Newtown felt that their environment was safe. only a paranoid person wants a gun in a kindergarten?

    one gunwriter used to ask cops who'd been in shootouts if they had any idea when they left home that morning, that they'd be exchanging gunfire with a criminal that day. none of them had. you NEVER know when and where an attack may occur.

    if you could suspend your auto insurance at times to save money, would you have insurance only when driving in certain places, or at certain times of day? 11PM-4AM are the most dangerous times to be on the road. heck, who needs car insurance to drive to Walmart in the middle of a weekday?

    the only way to be certain you're prepared if and when TSHTF, is to ALWAYS be mentally alert and armed.
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  10. #9
    Senior Member Array rugergunner's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gutterman View Post
    I have a CCW and have had one for 4 yrs. My wife does not have one and probably will never get one. She is not an anti gun person as she grew up around guns most of her life. Her dad was a sheriff in Az. What my problem is (if you want to call it a problem) is that she has no problem with me having a gun in the vehicles when we are not at home but she finds it unnessary for me to carry concealed on my body. She feels if I have to carry a gun on my person when we're out then we should'nt be there. She is well aware of the unseen dangers around today no matter where you go but how do I convince her that me "carrying" is an added measure of safety?
    I feel your pain when it comes to the wife not wanting to CC herself. If she does not have the mental determination to drop someone in their tracks if they attack, then she should not carry a gun. My wife would shoot someone who broke into the house, but would have a problem dealing with that same scenario out on the street.

    Now, when it comes to my carrying, I don't care what she thinks. I know that sometimes it bothers her, but its my life too, and that is what I tell her. She gets over it.
    I would rather die on my feet, than to live on my knees.

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    New Member Array usmcsteeler's Avatar
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    gutterman,
    I can understand your issue. I am having the same issue with my wife. I have been in the military for 15 years, she was in for 2 1/2 years. So being around weapons is not an issue. However, now that we have young children, it is a little bit. While we have been pistol owners for 5 years, I just recently got my CCW after months of convincing her it was for better protection than just my pocket knife, lol. It wasn't until camping and having coyotes near our camp site that it sunk in for her. I still have the issue of actually carrying them with me when we go out in public. I should be receiving my holster in about 2 weeks at which point my plan is to do what WarMachine suggested. I'll start carrying and if she does finally notice, I plan on saying exactly what WarMachine suggested as well. Hope all goes well for you.

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    Distinguished Member Array Hoganbeg's Avatar
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    I bet her dad carried when off duty.
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    Member Array RonM0710's Avatar
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    You need to find all the stories out there when citizens were in different places when a bad guy started shooting. Movie theaters, shopping malls, churches, grocery stores. Find them online and print them out for her. Ask her dad to explain it to her.
    "Lets Be Careful Out There!"

    Ron

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    Member Array The Dark's Avatar
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    Re: the wife

    Quote Originally Posted by rugergunner View Post
    Now, when it comes to my carrying, I don't care what she thinks. I know that sometimes it bothers her, but its my life too, and that is what I tell her. She gets over it.
    Fortunately mine has her CWFL and carries, but I agree with this. Time to get over it.

    Sent from my Xoom using Tapatalk HD
    "To predict the behavior of ordinary people in advance, you only have to assume that they will always try to escape a disagreeable situation with the smallest possible expenditure of intelligence." Friedrich Nietzsche

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    VIP Member Array NC Bullseye's Avatar
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    If you carry around your wife in secret you stand a very good chance of her becoming an obstacle if you ever do have to use your firearm in a self defense situation. She needs to know that you carry and what is expected of her if you ever are in a self defense situation. She needs to know where to move to so as to not get in the line of fire and what you expect her to do while you are taking care of the situation. Otherwise she may very well be at the very wrong place at the very wrong time and you will have only yourself to blame.

    You need to talk it out where she understands that while you can avoid places where there is a better than average chance of needing it, you can not avoid everywhere that violence of a deadly nature happens because it can happen anywhere.
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  16. #15
    VIP Member Array Snub44's Avatar
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    ...there are more important things than pleasing your wife...being able to survive to protect her and return home to provide for her amongst them...sometimes we just have to lovingly put our foot down and say this is the way it's going to be...she'll get over it...and one day thank you for it...and you'll never regret it...
    zonker1986 likes this.

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