Telling the new girl you carry?

This is a discussion on Telling the new girl you carry? within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Hello all, here's one for ya. Met a new Girl, been out a few times, all that good stuff. I was with my ex for ...

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Thread: Telling the new girl you carry?

  1. #1
    Member Array Crexrun's Avatar
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    Telling the new girl you carry?

    Hello all, here's one for ya. Met a new Girl, been out a few times, all that good stuff. I was with my ex for 3 years, obvioulsly, she knew I carried.

    I'm kinda picky when it comes to dating, this girl is in the Guards, farmgirl, likes hunting, drop dead gorgeous.... did I mention she can cook?


    Anyway, last night, I picked her up from work when I left my shop, And she works in a location where carrying is not permitted, so I left my gun in the truck. Later, after we watched a movie, we were sitting around BSing about her basic training, (she's been in for a couple years now) and all that good stuff, and we already had plans to do some shooting this weekend, so we started talking about guns a little, and she's never shot a pistol, and really wants to learn. Well, I didn't have my gun on me, but I thought, I don't really want to surprise her with this, so I told her that sometimes I carrymy pistol.

    At first, she kind of had a funny look on her face, like "why do you need to carry a weapon?" so we talked about things a little, and I told her, well, because you just never know, especially in this day and age. With shootings in restaurants and such, and it's kind of like car insurance, and that I hope to never use it, but if I was ever in a situation where I could help, I'd feel guilty if I didn't, and someone died.

    She never freaked out or anything, but she said she's never entertained the thought of keeping a loaded weapon around, and she thought it would be more dangerous is there was one around, but after our conversation, she seemed a little more open to the idea. Keep in mind, I've known her for a while, and the whole carrying deal was something that I thought she, being in the military, would be pretty comfortable with, and I'm not saying she won't be, but it did seem like it was a bit of a shock for her.

    She's coming out to shoot this Weekend, and she's really looking forward to shooting the pistols, and some clay pigeons too. This girl is really great (or I wouldn't be seeing her!) and if it turns into something, I'd definitely like her to carry as well, eventually. I just didn't expect her apprehension towards carrying, especially from someone who shoots an M16 (and a .50!) during training a few times a year.


    Well, I guess the whole point of this post is, if a girl who is in the military is slightly taken aback by the fact that I legally carry, what have you guys experienced in your lives when it comes to telling someone you carry? I certainly wasn't gonna surprise her in the bedroom by saying "hey baby, I bet you didn't expect TWO guns!"


    Lemme know how I did. She's fine with the idea now, and I think after a time or two of me carrying, she'll be more comfortable with the idea. I also told her about this excellent forum, and that there were plenty of women around who have excellent opinions on the matter. We'll see how it goes! (Did I mention she was gorgeous, and laughs at my stupid jokes? ) Crexrun
    Walther P22, Velocitors, on my side. Ruger P95, Speer Gold Dot 124 +Ps, bedside. Mossberg 500, full of steel shot behind the door. And a Princeton Tec Genesis 3 watt led and a Gerber Ridge knife! Don't steal MY Coors Light!

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  3. #2
    Member Array stoneypete's Avatar
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    Well I think you done good. You did not just drop it on her and your taking her shooting pistols for the first time should calm any of her fears. I truely believe this is just a case of "the unknown" coupled with some of the fear mongering in the main steam media.

    I've only had one negative reaction to my carrying and she was pretty but a snob too high maintenace for me to even care. She freaked at the sight of the pistol like it was gonna jump up and bite her.

    My bride is a good shot. Not really a shooter, but a good shot.

  4. #3
    Member Array Linda's Avatar
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    Since she already knows that you "sometimes" carry, make sure that when you arrive at the range, you have it holstered on you and not in a range bag. She'll figure out quick that yes, you can conceal it easily when you're carrying. After she sees that you are extremely safety conscience around firearms, I think she'll come around. I can actually see her as one who would come around to the point of carrying herself, after you've educated her!

    Good Luck!
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  5. #4
    Member Array Crexrun's Avatar
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    Thanks for the replies!

    "sometimes" (meaning, as often as I can, basically everywhere, where legality and clothing allow!) seemed to be a way to let her know that I did carry, but wasn't some fruitcake with an RPG in my truck, know what I mean? As she gets comfortable with the idea, and is comfortable with shooting, I'm sure it will be no issue. I just didn't want to have my arm around her in the mall and have her go "what's that?" Glad to hear I did ok! Thanks, Crexrun
    Walther P22, Velocitors, on my side. Ruger P95, Speer Gold Dot 124 +Ps, bedside. Mossberg 500, full of steel shot behind the door. And a Princeton Tec Genesis 3 watt led and a Gerber Ridge knife! Don't steal MY Coors Light!

  6. #5
    Member Array Dan M.'s Avatar
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    We could help you more if you posted a pictrue of her.

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    It sounds like you have a good start.
    My wife is Canadain and was fearful of guns when we first met. She came down to Alabama to study frogs and we met in graduate school. I agreed to take out to some swamps that I had study projects going on at. Well after one late night encounter (if you study frogs you are up all night) with some coyotes, she discover I carried and was glad I did. This was all before we started dating. When she found out that I usually carry she was neverous, even though she had been to the range with me a few times. She thought that a gun might just go off, so I pointed out that the loaded gun in the night stand stays loaded and never went off since we had been dating. She will shoot with me every now and then and likes that I carry. It sounds like you have got a keeper, and will have a much easier time of it than I did.

    Best of luck and check http://www.corneredcat.com/ lots of great stuff for her there. My wife likes the site

  8. #7
    Member Array jowgafist's Avatar
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    you did good...when you guys go out shooting start her off with a small caliber then work your way up...

  9. #8
    Member Array BigDaddy5's Avatar
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    "Just because you defend democracy, doesn't mean you get to practice it." Something that was repeated heavily when I was in the Air Force.

    Point is that those in the military aren't permitted to have weapons on base, so carrying daily doesn't even figure into some people.

    I think you're doing fine, and someone who's interested in shooting handguns is probably someone you'll be able to convince that it's ok to carry eventually. If she's drawn back on it, go over some safety features. I think one of the best things to do when someone's got an apprehension of carrying is to have her strip the weapon, then go over some of the safety features of it. This way you can show her that it's not going to magically go off.

    If she's got the "it's more likely to be used against you," attitude, then show some stories of self defense. I think that you're doing the right thing, though, and I wish you luck!

    I got my girlfriend to get over my carrying pretty earliy, mostly because we were dating before I was 21, and I talked about wanting a permit for a while, so we were able to talk about it. I still don't have anything but my fullsize 92, so she gets a little upset sometimes when she can't put her arm around my waist, but too bad! Neah, she just finds some other way to drag me around!

  10. #9
    Distinguished Member Array BIG E's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dan M. View Post
    We could help you more if you posted a pictrue of her.

    I have to agree. I could really come up with some good advice if I had a picture of here in her unmentionables.

    Seriously, It sounds like you are on the right path. My wife is still getting used to me carrying. We just have to do a little sheep conversion.

    Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit soft!

    -- Theodore Roosevelt --

  11. #10
    Member Array Crexrun's Avatar
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    I'd just LOVE to post a picture of her in her unmentionables to the people of this forum, but unfortuanately, I DON'T EVEN HAVE ONE YET! I'll keep my fingers crossed. :)


    I'm glad to hear I handled it alright, I thought I did. Yes, she'll definitely start out with my P22 and good ear protection before she moves her way up, I'm not one of those guys who thinks its funny to let a newbie fire off a Full House 44 mag just to get a laugh. I had an incident like that when I was around 8, only it involved an older brother and a 3" OOO buck and a light double barrel shotgun, I was not amused.

    I just got thinking as I'm typing this... "what ammo should I run through the P22 for her" and the answer is--- The most expensive stuff I've got, the Velocitors. Why? Because it's dead relaible, never ever hiccuped yet, unlike the Bulk pack Federals I bought to try in it. Having it go "bang" safely, and reliably, without her having to deal with jams, stovepipes, failures to eject or whatever will go a long way towards making it more enjoyable for her. After she gets the hang of it, I'll let her shoot whatever, and if it jams, it will be good practice for her! But first things first, make it fun, so she wants to do it again!

    I don't mind spending $5 bucks per 50 .22 shells as long as I know she's gonna enjoy it, versus $25 bucks on a movie that will be questionable! If she wants to work up to my Ruger 9mm, I'll pick up a couple boxes of WWB for it, that gun is really nice to shoot. Thanks for the replies guys, i'll see what I can do on a picture... the only one I have of her does her NO justice, so you may have to wait! Crexrun
    Walther P22, Velocitors, on my side. Ruger P95, Speer Gold Dot 124 +Ps, bedside. Mossberg 500, full of steel shot behind the door. And a Princeton Tec Genesis 3 watt led and a Gerber Ridge knife! Don't steal MY Coors Light!

  12. #11
    Member Array steve_db's Avatar
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    she sounds like a keeper.

  13. #12
    Distinguished Member Array SixBravo's Avatar
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    I have found that going shooting on dates produces some extremely good discussion over dinner afterward. Even just taking a female friend produces some fun times. But like you said, its a garunteed good time meanwhile a movie will run you upwards of $20 a person..

    Of course, I'm of the mindset that I more or less don't run with people who are opposed to my carrying. I've got a few friends who have significant others who are opposed, but they are slowly coming around. I think you handled it perfectly, though.
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    VIP Member Array cphilip's Avatar
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    Well also keep in mind her question was "why" do you carry. She may just be trying to make sure your not into some sort of weird or dangerous activity like drugs or something. She may not care that your carrying because you want too... she may just be trying to assure herself you not carrying because you NEED to and she might want to not be a part of that... She may be just trying to protect herself. So it very well could be that.

  15. #14
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    Nice Catch...

    If I were back in 'dating times'...I would always give a potential date a choice about my CCW...
    "Should I carry my 9mm or my .45?"

    OMO

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    Member Array Crexrun's Avatar
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    HA! that's quite amusing! I think a Kel-Tec P3AT is gonna be on the shopping list real soon, with the belt clip, so I can have something unobtrusive to keep around when I've got my arm around her.


    and yes, she IS quite a catch, It seems to be going along swimmingly. Time will tell! Crexrun
    Walther P22, Velocitors, on my side. Ruger P95, Speer Gold Dot 124 +Ps, bedside. Mossberg 500, full of steel shot behind the door. And a Princeton Tec Genesis 3 watt led and a Gerber Ridge knife! Don't steal MY Coors Light!

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