Ex-wife finds security in a gun, CWP & shooting lessons: Good Article

Ex-wife finds security in a gun, CWP & shooting lessons: Good Article

This is a discussion on Ex-wife finds security in a gun, CWP & shooting lessons: Good Article within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Nancy <not her real name> wasn't armed in 1994, but her ex-husband Max <not his real name either> was when he came to her home ...

Results 1 to 9 of 9
Like Tree3Likes
  • 1 Post By BadgerJ
  • 1 Post By pittypat21
  • 1 Post By finst3r

Thread: Ex-wife finds security in a gun, CWP & shooting lessons: Good Article

  1. #1
    Member
    Array finst3r's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Sarasota FL
    Posts
    400

    Ex-wife finds security in a gun, CWP & shooting lessons: Good Article

    Nancy <not her real name> wasn't armed in 1994, but her ex-husband Max <not his real name either> was when he came to her home in Sarasota while she slept and kicked her door in.
    He held her hostage for 8 hours AFTER he stabbed a guy to death, got 22 years
    and he's about to get out. She's taking charge, going for her CWP and taking training.


    LINK TO STORY


  2. #2
    Distinguished Member Array BadgerJ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Mid-Atlantic
    Posts
    1,534
    Think of the situation where someone might be targeting you, a stalker. Think of various linear forces. Time, trajectory, distance, opportunity, good-shoot, barriers, chaos factor, courage, accuracy, good backdrop, visibility.

    Now, realize that ALL these linear forces and more have to align for a firearm -in and of itself- to "solve" the problem of a stalker. Think of the line of a bullet in flight and a target on the move, and a vital spot, and imagine a quarterback throwing a perfect pass in a championship game and hitting their running back 10 yards downfield. And while the ball is in the air, everyone in the stands (chaos) runs out into the field, including your children.

    I'm not saying don't get a firearm and train to use it. I'm saying that it should not be your FIRST line of defense, it should be your LAST option. You must have other layers, other options, and if possible, the best one for a stalker is distance and anonymity.

    Just some thoughts on this most difficult SD scenario.
    Paymeister likes this.

  3. #3
    VIP Member Array pittypat21's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    2,496
    Quote Originally Posted by BadgerJ View Post
    Think of the situation where someone might be targeting you, a stalker. Think of various linear forces. Time, trajectory, distance, opportunity, good-shoot, barriers, chaos factor, courage, accuracy, good backdrop, visibility.

    Now, realize that ALL these linear forces and more have to align for a firearm -in and of itself- to "solve" the problem of a stalker. Think of the line of a bullet in flight and a target on the move, and a vital spot, and imagine a quarterback throwing a perfect pass in a championship game and hitting their running back 10 yards downfield. And while the ball is in the air, everyone in the stands (chaos) runs out into the field, including your children.

    I'm not saying don't get a firearm and train to use it. I'm saying that it should not be your FIRST line of defense, it should be your LAST option. You must have other layers, other options, and if possible, the best one for a stalker is distance and anonymity.

    Just some thoughts on this most difficult SD scenario.
    Its certainly more affordable to buy a gun and training as a just in case than it is to move and make yourself "disappear".
    "Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet."
    -General James Mattis, USMC

  4. #4
    Distinguished Member Array Paymeister's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    1,536
    Quote Originally Posted by pittypat21 View Post
    Its certainly more affordable to buy a gun and training as a just in case than it is to move and make yourself "disappear".
    Certainly cheaper, but a gun is not the talisman many thing it to be (and I've been guilty of this, myself). I greatly appreciate BadgerJ's call to think this through: may "Nancy" and her sisters be granted great wisdom and courage as they set about protecting themselves from such traitors. [Bah. I have a good vocabulary, but don't have harsh enough words for the ex-husbands...]
    Recently updated website: http://www.damagedphotorepair.com

  5. #5
    Distinguished Member Array BadgerJ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Mid-Atlantic
    Posts
    1,534
    Quote Originally Posted by pittypat21 View Post
    Its certainly more affordable to buy a gun and training as a just in case than it is to move and make yourself "disappear".
    Not really. If you read the article, there's more than just that 'cost'. If the guy makes your life a living hell, if you are a moral person and end up burdened with the knowledge that you killed someone, or perhaps, missed and that person got one of your children. There's a big difference between a random BG out on the street and a stalker who is targeting YOU (and who has killed and been in prison). It's a bullet with a brain headed your way that has nothing more to lose.

    You -must- arm yourself but I'm saying don't stop there. Note that even trained cops only hit their target 30% of the time. Note that in battle more than 70% of the troops not wanting the moral responsibility of killing the enemy missed their target. Note that women will often 'take a hit' than to offend someone. Not everyone who trains with a firearm can actually kill someone. I'm not trying to build a big argument against getting a firearm, I'm trying to "illustrate high chaos", versus the specific 'good shoot' outcome.

    I once read a book about "The Shotgun for Home Defense". The guy told one story of someone who actually shot someone in their house and talked about the aftermath. The ringing in their ears, the bad dreams, picking blood and bone out of the ceiling and the sofa. The guy in the story said if he had it to do over, he didn't know, with the knowledge of this event, if he could do it again.

    To me, the 'reliable solution' for a murderous stalker is to move and disappear (note the woman did do that). I've been thinking about SD in a variety of ways for a long time, and this is one problem that I'm realizing is very difficult to solve.

    Consider the options that would make up a good shoot, take out the stalker and not harm someone else, and put the person legally in the clear.

    1. You must have it occur in a state with some kind of Castle Doctrine (else the survivors can possibly sue you, or even the BG if he survives);
    2. It must happen inside your house (or car);
    3. Your kids must be out of the way;
    4. The bullet must stop inside the BG (or the walls of the house);
    5. You must hit a vital areas (it's dangerous, unfortunately to just shoot to stop when dealing with this kind of threat, someone who has killed and served time, but legally that's all you're allowed to do - stop the threat);
    6. You must be able to prove it's a good shoot;
    7. You must -constantly- be on your guard - after a while you get a type of nervous exhaustion;
    8. You must in the moment be able to take a human life and you won't know if you can until it happens;
    9. If the stalker has a weapon, you risk being wounded or killed, leaving your children without their mother;
    10. You have to deal with the outcome even if it's ruled a good shoot.

    So yes, get armed and train. But realize that you're asking a lot to have a bullet solve this most difficult of SD problems.

  6. #6
    VIP Member Array pittypat21's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    2,496
    Quote Originally Posted by BadgerJ View Post
    Not really. If you read the article, there's more than just that 'cost'. If the guy makes your life a living hell, if you are a moral person and end up burdened with the knowledge that you killed someone, or perhaps, missed and that person got one of your children. There's a big difference between a random BG out on the street and a stalker who is targeting YOU (and who has killed and been in prison). It's a bullet with a brain headed your way that has nothing more to lose.
    That still doesn't make it more affordable for a person to actually move and disappear. Depending on your financial situation, it is probably impossible to make that happen - no matter how badly you want or need to.
    "Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet."
    -General James Mattis, USMC

  7. #7
    Member Array slimjim2525's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    CT
    Posts
    34
    So let me see if I have this right. He stabbed a man to death, and is getting out after 19 years. Oh, and he went to her house and held her hostage for 8 hours. That would be kidnapping. What a joke.

  8. #8
    VIP Member Array pittypat21's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    2,496
    Quote Originally Posted by Paymeister View Post
    Certainly cheaper, but a gun is not the talisman many thing it to be...

    Why do people keep saying this? I highly doubt the woman is buying a gun and getting a carry license because she thinks it will ward off her stalker. It sounds to me more like she's expecting what happened last time will happen again - but she wants to be ready for it this time.
    Phaedrus likes this.
    "Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet."
    -General James Mattis, USMC

  9. #9
    Member
    Array finst3r's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Sarasota FL
    Posts
    400
    One thought:
    "Disappearing" isn't all it's cracked up to be either.
    Unless you either have no living relatives, or are willing to leave
    them TOTALLY behind, you aren't safe.
    One of them will give you up in a heartbeat when confronted by a guy like that.
    Not to mention the stalking ability of Social Media, the Internet & Private Detectives hired under a false premise.
    While I agree that a firearm is the last resort, I would much rather be "Judged by 12 than carried by 6"
    pittypat21 likes this.

Sponsored Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Search tags for this page

article about good for cwp

Click on a term to search for related topics.