Spouse for or against CC?
This is a discussion on Spouse for or against CC? within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; So I'm pretty new to handguns. Bout mine primarily for home and personal defense. My wife passively supported it, but having never been around guns, ...
August 28th, 2013 04:29 PM
Spouse for or against CC?
So I'm pretty new to handguns. Bout mine primarily for home and personal defense. My wife passively supported it, but having never been around guns, she is pretty cautious.
I'm still contemplating CC, as I said in my new member intro. I have NOT discussed that yet with my wife, though. I'm curious to hear how others have handled this with reluctant spouses. Was it tough to get their consent? I suspect my wife won't mind, so long as she can reasonably ignore it.
August 28th, 2013 04:34 PM
My wife was nervous when I brought home my first handgun. She didn't want to touch it or be around it. I told her that if I'm going to have guns in the house, she needs to learn how to handle them so that she can secure or use them if necessary. After some basic gun safety and letting her hold a field-stripped firearm, she saw that it was just an inanimate object that won't do anything to her that she doesn't make it do.
It took her some getting used to, but I think showing her videos and news stories of home invasions helped her realize the need to have a gun on her or near her. She applied for her CCP last week. I'm so proud.
"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast." - Ephesians 2:8-9
“The purpose of the law is not to prevent a future offense, but to punish the one actually committed” - Ayn Rand
August 28th, 2013 04:40 PM
When I first arrived in this country in 2000, I had never even seen a real gun, never mind held or shot one. After a couple of years I realized it would be prudent to get a gun for protection. That was a little over 10 years ago, now, I go shoot almost every weekend, and am now starting to shoot in IDPA matches.
I think as long as you are sensible and don't act like Billy the Kid every time you're around guns, she should be ok with it.
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August 28th, 2013 04:46 PM
My wife can shoot, but doesn't care for it. Initially, she was very uneasy and nervous about me carrying. After some experiences which showed her the world can be very unpredictable and unkind, she is glad I carry 24/7.
"To reject the notion of expertise, and to replace it with a sanctimonious insistence that every person has a right to his or her own opinion, is silly."
August 28th, 2013 04:49 PM
My ex-husband was scared of me with a gun
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August 28th, 2013 04:50 PM
My wife was much like Georgiadawgs... she know nothing about guns and feared them because of her lack of knowledge. I purchased my carry gun with her in mind. Showing her the safety features and how it really work eased her fear of it shooting her from the sock drawer.
More than a year has pasted and she has ask numerous times if I had it with me, it now comforts her. She has shot all of my guns but does not enjoy it, she will prob never get her permit but that's ok too.
My suggestion, be open and honest with your wife, go slow and don't push her.
August 28th, 2013 04:52 PM
My wife is the ultimate pacifist. She didn't feel her life was anymore valuable than the person she might shoot. On the other hand she is also the perfect grandma. The grandkids can't wait to see her. She is also a mountain biker from He!!. When I was dating her some of the young studs that biked with her warned me about trying to keep up with her. Not that she is overly fast but she just keeps going and at the end of a long ride she just puts everyone away going up that last hill.
That revealed her "soft spot". We talked about hikers and mountain bikers being attacked by mountain lions. We were coming home from a fishing trip and saw a dead cougar on the side of the road. Then on the news there was a story about 2 young mountain lions in the parking structure where she works.
That did the trick. Based upon her wanting to be around for the grandkids and concern about cougars in the mountains she began practicing with a handgun. After seeing some videos about home invasion she was ready. Now she packs a glock 26 and will take on man or beast. Took a couple of yrs. but just keep dripping and she may come around. Grand canyon took a while too.
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August 28th, 2013 05:01 PM
My wife is all for having as many firearms as we can afford as fast as we can afford them. She OCs remains armed at home and is all for CC as well.
I have the permit to cc. The only reason she does not is that in our state she has no need to go on record of any sort to OC or purchase a gun. No permits or paperwork required at all to OC or to privately buy or sell firearms. So no record of any kind.
Had I thought when I got my CCDW that our nation would turn out the way it is in the past several years I would not have gotten mine either. It put me on paper when I would not have been as a gun owner. But I did get it and that ship has sailed years ago.
Shes debating now on getting hers with the reasoning that since I have my CCDW and shes married to me shes marked now anyway so why not go ahead and get the permit to CC. Though neither of us believes there should be a permit required to.
You dont have to believe a train is coming. Itll run over you anyway.
August 28th, 2013 05:02 PM
My ex-wife is probably OK with it now. When we were young and still married? NO WAY!
...he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one. Luke 22:36
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August 28th, 2013 05:02 PM
Being the typical city girl that my wife was, she was unfamiliar with guns and fairly nervous about them being around when we were first together. Since then, the mystery of them has been replaced with familiarity and use. Looking back, she's told me that she never thought she'd see the day that she had a hunting license and a CCW. Now, she's very confident and deliberate when she shoots and is scary good with an auto and with a shotgun.
Whatever you do, don't let your wife ever abandon the caution. One should never lose that. You're already in the positive with her passively supporting one for home defense. I would say the best bet would be to keep her familiar with them and you never know, it may just spark an interest to where some day she wants to buy her own.
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August 28th, 2013 05:07 PM
My wife was pretty supportive from the get-go. She new what she was getting into when she married me. When I grew up in Texas, my parents didn't CC, but Dad kept a loaded .357 S&W by his bedside, Mom had a loaded .38 special snubnose by hers (which my Dad bought her as a gift), my brother had a loaded 12 ga. under his bed, and I had a loaded .22 pump rifle under mine. I thought guns were the most natural thing in the world.
What has gotten my wife more supportive is that she realized that LOTS of our family friends in this area CC. Those third parties can sometimes carry a lot of weight in influencing a person.
August 28th, 2013 05:09 PM
Shockingly, Mike and I have a bit in common. Moreso than I thought. lol
Originally Posted by Mike1956
My wife was kind of in the same boat. "I'll leave you if you bring home firearms." (She came from a mentally unstable home/family) Then when I get stationed in 29 Palms, she was all about camping. If you know anything about the area, its crazy from wildlife to well wildlife (speed and crack heads). I told her that I absolutely would not go camping without a firearm. It was at that point that we bought her a pink ISS M22. 6 months later, I now have a S&W M&P40, she starts DROS for her M&P15 tomoro and purchased me a Sig P229 for my birthday in a couple weeks.
She knows I'm in the process of getting my CCW (interview tomoro) but by no means has a wish to carry one herself. Hopefully that will one day change but I won't force her to it. She's thankful I will be carrying and carries a 600 lumens light, 4" knife and pepper spray that she could use with confidence if needed.
The change in the last 6 months just from introducing her to the evil in the world, and the joy she gets from shooting, has made a huge difference in the way she views firearms now.
Give it time. Don't force her into it. Involve her as much as you can and I think you could be shocked at the changes you'll see
August 28th, 2013 05:11 PM
My wife was against guns until I held her at gunpoint, burned all her clothes and shoes, made her wash the car with her tongue and forced her to watch football for 8 hours straight. After that she learned how it feels to be helpless just because you cannot defend yourself. Only kidding of course but most of the women I train, come to me AFTER something happens that makes them feel helpless or scared. Some people think life is all roses until they become one of those victims they read about. Then they become more pro gun than most guys I know. And better shots too. :)
August 28th, 2013 05:12 PM
Started dating my wife in 1980.
She shot my first(only at the time) pistol (D&W 15-2VH .357 mag) shortly after and smiled.
She has her own .38 snub, but doesn't get excited about guns and such but she is perfectly cool with them being in and around the house, as well as our 4 kids (24, 20, 18 & 9) learning how to shoot as well.
I have hunted as well since 1974, and my oldest (son) hunts as well. She came from a hunting family as well, her dad and brother hunted also.
Shes fine with me carrying, and has passed the CPL class herself, and keeps saying she is going to go down and get her permit someday.
I would rather die with good men than hide with cowards
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August 28th, 2013 05:16 PM
When my wife and I married she didn't shoot or carry. When I insisted she get a firearm for protection at home and in the car she was ok and excited with that. Then our son came along and she stopped carrying. Since he's out on his own now she has returned to carrying and now has her CWP.