Starting to carry: did family or friend treat you differently?
This is a discussion on Starting to carry: did family or friend treat you differently? within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; I grew up shooting with different family members, but when I struck out on my own, I did not own ANY firearms. It was not ...
December 7th, 2006 10:50 AM
I grew up shooting with different family members, but when I struck out on my own, I did not own ANY firearms. It was not until a few years ago, when I decided to get back into hunting, that I asked my father if he still used my Grandpa's old Mossberg shotgun. He gave it to me, and since then I have added a few other long guns, a Berreta 92, and a Sig P232.
At first, my wife, who does not like guns, was troubled by it. She has since calmed down to the fact that there are guns in the house. When I told her I was applying for my CPL, she didn't even blink. In fact, she said she would be interested in taking the class and getting her CPL as well. There have been a couple of robberies at the Pizza place she manages (Thankfully not since she has worked there), and she said she would feel better if she had some form of protection when she was counting money at the end of the night. This surprised me, but it has made her quite a bit more open to my desire to keep our family protected.
As for my kids. They know I own guns. The older one's have shot most of them with me and know more about gun safety than most adults do. And the younger one's get the kid friendly version of gun safety when we go shoot the BB guns. None of them know I am planning to carry, although my daughter has busted me around the house. Because of some recent prank phone calls that disturbed her, she says she actually feels a lot safer when I have a pistol with me when I answer the door.
My folks know I have applied, but didn't voice their opinion one way or the other, and only one friend, who applied with me and took the class with me, knows of my intentions.
The rest of my family, friends, and co-workers will only find out I carry if they need to.
When the messenger arrives and says 'Don't shoot the messenger,' it's a good idea to be prepared to shoot the messenger, just in case.
December 7th, 2006 10:50 AM
December 7th, 2006 11:09 AM
I've had no problem with family complaints
Perhaps I was fortunate or wise in my choice of a wife. She grew up in a rural area of Texas where guns were everyday tools and coyotes on the ranch were shot on sight to protect the young livestock. She knew how to shoot before I met her and has her own NRA membership, separate from mine. She has a couple of handguns of her own, one of which stays by the bed. And she votes conservative.
So when I got my CCW permit back in the 90s I had no argument from her, and she approved of it. I believe she feels safer knowing that I am carrying.
December 7th, 2006 11:22 AM
My family members are all hunters and shooters, so no problem there...none of my friends know, and only a couple of co-workers who double as "shootin' buddies" (one of whom is licensed) have been told, and they think it's a good thing.
"I surrounded 'em"- Alvin York
"They're ain't many troubles that a man can't fix with seven hundred dollars and a thirty ought six"- Jeff Cooper
December 7th, 2006 11:26 AM
Not many in my family carry but I have been into guns my whole life, and my feelings on guns have been well known by my family and friends for a long time. So for them it was no supprise that I began to carry as soon as Missouri's concealed carry law went into effect. None of them I would describe as liberals and they don't seem to care. They know if I'm at their house my snubby is probably in my pocket.
"The very atmosphere of firearms anywhere and everywhere restrains evil interference - they deserve a place of honor with all that's good.
December 7th, 2006 11:42 AM
My wife was neutral on it but now likes the idea.
There has been no effect from anyone else because I don't tell anyone else.
CCW is a personal decision. I can't understand electing to carry a concealed weapon and then bringing it up in a conversation with people who I was not certain were already in favor of it, especially since you are going to have to continue to interact with them in the future. I don't tell my aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews what type of underwear I have on and I am certainly not going to tell them if I have a gun. Neither is their business.
December 7th, 2006 11:50 AM
Well, Ohio throws a wrench into everything with the plain sight (hopefully on the way out). Most of my friends assume that I carry and some know and my family knows because they have either A.) seen it while it had to be in plain sight while I have been in a vehicle with them, or B.) just assume that I do because I am always pro-gun and speak to correct the anti's in classes. Sometimes I will get a question about "Why do you need that where we are going?" and a simple "Because it doesnt do any good at home" works.
My mother has gotten used to me keeping a firearm on/near me in the house, but still isn't quite used to me tucking back my cover garment after we get in a car for the "plain sight" when we run errands or something together. Its ok, my father is supposed to of turned in his packet by now (I doubt he'll carry all the time, but baby steps make progress too).
Fortes Fortuna Juvat
Former, USMC 0311, OIF/OEF vet
NRA Pistol/Rifle/Shotgun/Reloading Instructor, RSO, Ohio CHL Instructor
December 7th, 2006 12:31 PM
My wife and I go on an annual "weekend in the woods" with 14 long time friends. We've been doing this for 25 years.
When I started carrying 3 years ago, I also became a very vocal gun rights person. At that time I found out that 4 of these friends have been packing for 20 years.
When I started carrying, my wife thought it was a great idea. She is definitely a keeper even though she shoots better than I do.
Within 6 months of packing, my brother started carrying and three more friends started after conversations with me about it.
I feel for you guys whose families look at you differently because of it. Hopefully, over time, you can show them that you are a responsible person who just may be around to save their bacon when bad guys decide to do bad things.
December 7th, 2006 12:41 PM
That's what I'm hoping for. *sigh*
Originally Posted by PaulG
December 7th, 2006 12:49 PM
And that's the pathetic part about the entire thing, because these are family and friends who supposedly know you well. They should already know you as a trustworthy, responsible person, regardless of whether you carry or not.
Hopefully, over time, you can show them that you are a responsible person...
You shouldn't have to prove yourselves to them.
It's like something weird has clicked on in their heads that because you've now decided to carry, you're now Dr. Jekyll Mr. Hyde - some kind of wild, unpredictable person who's going to go around and shoot people at random.
"Americans have the will to resist because you have weapons. If you don't have a gun, freedom of speech has no power." - Yoshimi Ishikawa
December 7th, 2006 01:01 PM
Poeple who know
I have had a similar experience with a friend finding out that I carry. I had not told this friend that I had made the deceition to carry, someone else told him. My wife and I met him for dinner one night and as we were waiting for our table he and my wife ordered a glass of wine. He asked me what I wanted to drink and I ordered a diet coke. He said very loudly, “ OH, ARE YOU PACKING TONIGHT?” I just gave him dirty look but didn’t say anything. My wife told him that he couldn’t say something like that where other people could hear ( he didn’t understand what she meant). Later he said “ YOU SHOULD STOP CARRYING AND HAVE A GLASS OF WINE WITH US” “ I DON’T FEEL ANY SAFER”. I wanted to tell him that he may not feel any safer but he was, but I didn’t say. We have been friends for a long time and I know he doesn’t understand why I carry. Most of the people I know don’t have a problem with it. My wife, of thirty 36 years, is ok with it. I have one daughter that knows and is ok with me carrying but I have another daughter that doesn’t know because I know she wouldn’t understand.
I hope I never have to use my skill to protect them but I will if I need to without hesitation!
Now is the time for all young men to come to the aid of their Country!
December 7th, 2006 01:02 PM
December 7th, 2006 01:09 PM
When most of my new friends (old ones already know) find out that i carry they say that they are glad. They usally only find out after I have known them for years, and they find out that i have been carrying since I have known them. They realize that I didn't shot them, myself or anyone else accidently. They also realize that I am sane (maybe depends on how well the know me ) and rational not prone to get wacked out and go on a shooting spree. All have not had a problem with it and some have felt more comfortable knowing that I carry.
December 7th, 2006 01:24 PM
I've apparently lost a friend of over 30 years. He says "I believe in everyone defending themselves" , but then was demading answers why i felt the need to carry a gun. He was yelling at me . I think he feels I'm so out of control that I'm going to get mad at him and pull a gun on him. We constantly argue, so this isnt the only arguement, but it is the worst yet. I hung up on him on sept 11th and have'nt talked to him since.
I've got a large family and I told 2 brothers before i applied and didnt say "dont tell anyone", so I dont know who knows in my family, but i think most know.. I dont tell anyone, I dont want to hear it.
December 7th, 2006 01:33 PM
December 7th, 2006 01:51 PM
It is funny because I married into a "gun family" so to speak...retired cops and volunteer cops, and a generally pro-gun stance (and they generally aren't even hunters!). My family I think was mildly weird about it but I think it is more just a bit strange and unfamiliar to them, I don't think they are hostile to it. Her family of course...they were the ones that told me of Missouri passing CCW laws! They've all (but one) got CCW permits, and my wife just got hers recently.
As far as friends, a couple know, or at least know of my interest in firearms, but on the whole, I don't talk about it. I probably was a bit too open about it at first but I've learned from my mistakes. It's on a "need to know" basis.
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