Starting to carry: did family or friend treat you differently?

This is a discussion on Starting to carry: did family or friend treat you differently? within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; first of all great idea for this thread. As I am still very very new at carrying alot of these issues have come up. First ...

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Thread: Starting to carry: did family or friend treat you differently?

  1. #61
    Member Array ruffryder1167's Avatar
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    first of all great idea for this thread. As I am still very very new at carrying alot of these issues have come up.

    First a little background. I am 23 and I have owned my 1911 for about a year now, first handgun purchase. I got my CCW about 3 months ago ~ mid semester, so i usually only carry on days when I dont have to go on campus. I also work on campus so being there 10-12 hours on weekdays leaves very little time to myself to do other tasks where I can carry. Now that its summer (i have my life back) I have more time away from school and can of course carry more often. This has lead to a couple of issues i hadn't really thought of before.

    Only a few of my very close friends know I carry. The rest tend to sadly fit into the category and are oblivious.

    Most of the female friends I know greet with hugs rather than simple waves or handshakes like the fellas. Those same girls are rather short compared to my +6' tall stature and when they hug their arms tend to wrap around the waist. Of course I dont mind it at all until now that I carry more frequently. How am I to avoid the shocked and surprised looks when their arm smacks into the concealed firearm? This weekend this very issue came up while meeting at the movie theater. It was a very awkward hug I must say. Tips anyone?

    The people that do know I carry havent changed one bit. My parents know and dont mind one bit. I am their son and they are my parents, the trust there needs no further explanation.
    2 friends know, one is my ex but she is still one of my best friends. The other is a fellow sheepdog lurking on the forum somewhere
    Last edited by ruffryder1167; May 29th, 2007 at 05:14 PM.

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  3. #62
    Member Array BillR's Avatar
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    My wife, my kids, and my boss know...that's it.
    All are supportive EXCEPT the Mrs. She doesn't understand why I carry all the time and have one within reach at home. She's all for the guns being around, but she'd prefer that they stay locked in a safe while I'm home. We don't have small kids any longer, (youngest is 18) so I'm trying to make her understand that a BG kicking in the door is NOT going to wait for me to get to the bedroom and grab a handgun.
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  4. #63
    Member Array Cajun's Avatar
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    Really funny you should ask. I missed Church this past Wednesday night for personal reasons. My Pastor, also my fishing partner, knows I carry 99% of the time, Church included, save the "Carry in Church" comments, the comments will change neither me nor you, thank you. He called me late Wednesday night and commented on how he felt vulnerable at the front of the church without his "protection" sitting in the sound booth, meaning me. Two weeks ago, on Wednesday night, about mid service, we had a visitor come in the front door of our Sanctuary. Can't explain exactly why, but, bells, whistles, and alarms began going off in my head, he was dressed differently, came in with a drink he set on the front table, came in mid service, just did not fit. I have a mirror set up where I can see anyone entering the church from my sound booth. This guy walks in, sits at the back of the church, slowly stares around the room at everyone there. He then turns looks at the sound booth and sees me standing in the back corner of the sound booth. What he could not see was my cover garment swept back and my right hand on my S&W M&P 40. He was startled to see me behind and to his right, staring at him. He immediately arose and walked out of Church. He could only see me from the chest up, nothing below my chest line. Later, my Pastor buddy asked if I had seen this guy, told me he was trying to get my attention from the front of the Church to watch this guy. I never saw the Pastor, I was locked in on our visitor. The Pastor had the same eery feelings about this guy. So yes, my Pastor treats me differently knowing that I carry. There are so few folks that know I carry, I really don't notice them treating me any differently. Of course, I was raised in SW Louisiana, we used to carry our shotguns to school to hunt in the afternoons. Around here, good guys with guns just are not that unusual.
    Danny
    Last edited by Cajun; May 29th, 2007 at 06:42 PM.

  5. #64
    Senior Member Array mark555's Avatar
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    Most don't realize I have a gun on me, including my wife so it has not been an issue.
    "Hell of a thing, killin' a man. Take away all he's got and all he's ever gonna have."
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  6. #65
    Senior Member Array jeep45238's Avatar
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    Family, strong distancing, rare aknowledgement, given that look that says "there's the crazy guy" quite often.

    Friends, no issue at all, in some cases strenghtening the bond we share.
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  7. #66
    Member Array Hotbrass's Avatar
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    Don`t tell that you carry.
    Keep your powder dry

  8. #67
    Member Array austinguy23's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nate View Post
    My wife HATES guns. She had one of her classmates in elementary school kill themselves from a gun left some stupid person left loaded and unattended around kids who obviously weren't taught to know better.

    I'm already getting the looks when I tell her I'm putting together my CHP application, and REALLY expect some interesting conversations once I actually start carrying.

    She keeps throwing this liberal crap out at me, saying stuff like, "There's always been murders, and you're just fine," and "I don't see why they had to close down the freeway because of a pipe on the side of the road." (NoVA is experiencing increased gang activity, and we had a pipe bomb scare on the Capital Beltway just yesterday.)

    I told her she was naive, and I'm glad that the security of the country wasn't left to people like her. In today's day and age, it's almost a necessity to be cautious and ready, willing, and able to defend yourself if the need arises.

    On the plus side, if she decides to choose gun control over me, I get to keep all my guns, as Virginia is an "equitable property" state.
    Thata boy! If someone doesn't want to carry, then they're free not to. Pisses me off when people try to impose their lack of desire to exercise the second amendment on others.

  9. #68
    Member Array austinguy23's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ruffryder1167 View Post
    Those same girls are rather short compared to my +6' tall stature and when they hug their arms tend to wrap around the waist. Of course I dont mind it at all until now that I carry more frequently. How am I to avoid the shocked and surprised looks when their arm smacks into the concealed firearm? This weekend this very issue came up while meeting at the movie theater. It was a very awkward hug I must say. Tips anyone?
    Yeah, tell her you're just very excited to see her...

  10. #69
    VIP Member Array obxned's Avatar
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    They can't treat me any different - they don't know when I'm carrying and since it isn't visible, they assume I am not! Concealed = concealed.
    "If we loose Freedom here, there's no place to escape to. This is the Last Place on Earth!" Ronald Reagan

  11. #70
    Member Array Ipack's Avatar
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    Not a big deal for me. Sorrounded by free thinking midwesterners, and relatives that grew up hunting. Not a big deal and non issue for me.
    "Remember the first rule of gunfighting..."have a gun""

  12. #71
    VIP Member Array Tom G's Avatar
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    My wife said I didn't need to carry every where I went but it took one time when we were on vacation and we got lost in a very bad section of town to change her mind. she always checks to make sure I have the gun now.

  13. #72
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    My parents both know I'm a marine veteran, duh... They both know I'm a tactical medic on a swat team... and they both know I've had more than one near death experience that was job related.

    They don't say anything about it and my weapon is concealed at all times. I think my mother would just as soon not have me in a dangerous occupation but doesn't say a whole lot.

    I do find it interesting that my mother is glad my wife has ccw permit but understands that my wife has a permanent disablility from a line-of-duty injury/assault when she was a medic and has very limited mobility now because of it.

    I really don't think the rest of my relatives, including my sister knows I carry although they do know my occupation and close involvement to law enforcement being on the tac team.

    As far as my friends go, maybe 6 or 7 know that I actually have ccw permit. One of my co-workers took ccw with me so he obviously knows and my boss knows I carry off duty but other than that, most know I'm a firearm enthusiast but never ask if I have CCW and I don't tell.
    -Bark'n
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    "The gun is the great equalizer... For it is the gun, that allows the meek to repel the monsters; Whom are bigger, stronger and without conscience, prey on those who without one, would surely perish."

  14. #73
    Distinguished Member Array BIG E's Avatar
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    My parents know and that is about it. I haven't heard anything negative. I can't believe that they would have a problem with me protecting their grandchildren.

    My mother enjoys shooting and so does my father, but he doesn't have the eyes for it anymore. I know that my mother used to carry years ago before the CCW was made legal, but only when she went into the "BAD" part of town.
    Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit soft!

    -- Theodore Roosevelt --

  15. #74
    Distinguished Member Array randytulsa2's Avatar
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    Not much difference. Most didn't know ("concealed" means "concealed", right?). Family and friends who didn't know for sure probably could have guessed but wouldn't have cared (both of my parents have their permits, but I really don't know if either carries regularly...many friends have their permits, too, and carry).

    I didn't really tell my wife at first. As it became more obvious she became more tolerant of it. Then she took comfort in it. Now she has her permit application in and I am going to buy her (a second) pistol for her birthday (but she doesn't know it yet).

    I got her Walther P22 to start with. We went gun shopping again recently and she really likes the Taurus Millenium 9mm.
    "...bad decisions that turn out well often make heroes."


    Gary D. Mitchell, A Sniper's Journey: The Truth About the Man and the Rifle, P. 103, NAL Caliber books, 2006, 1st Ed.

  16. #75
    New Member Array cgeorge's Avatar
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    I carried 24/7 while I was a LEO. My wife was used to it. The only problem would be when she'd whack her elbow/arm on the butt of my Glock. She would really give it a cussing then. Now that I'm a civilian and have my ccw she'll often ask me if I have "IT" with me while in certain areas or crowds. Friends that know I carry now, were used to me carrying when I was a LEO so, no big deal. I don't think they feel it's necessary to carry but they don't give me grief. I usually don't bring it up and they really don't notice anyway.

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