Starting to carry: did family or friend treat you differently?

Starting to carry: did family or friend treat you differently?

This is a discussion on Starting to carry: did family or friend treat you differently? within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Consider the following sentiment, quoted from someone who noticed a feeling of distance from family/friends, once the decision to carry had been made: I have ...

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Thread: Starting to carry: did family or friend treat you differently?

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Starting to carry: did family or friend treat you differently?

    Consider the following sentiment, quoted from someone who noticed a feeling of distance from family/friends, once the decision to carry had been made:
    I have only recently begun carrying. I was fully prepared for the depth of responsibility in making the decision to carry. What has surprised me is the sense of separation from my friends and family that this decision has caused me.
    QUESTION: Did you experience any of this, when you decided to carry? Did family or friends treat you differently? Did they know whether you carried, and did they approve or disapprove? Did/do they understand?

    For me ...

    Been carrying since 1995. I did experience some of this, initially, yes. Friends don't know, other than two, one of whom carries. Family, though, changed. I'm held at a distance, now, from my mother and sister. It's definitely noticeable. Dear ol' mom's a died-in-the-wool, knee-jerk liberal with the attitude that one should roll over and submit before lifting a finger to defend, hence she looks at me as though I'm a bit twisted for having taken this step. My sister treats me a bit coolly, now, and is all business when it comes to doing things together. My father's in a cloud and doesn't know, but he certainly wouldn't understand why anyone would need such a tool or would want to take such a step. Is still this way, with close family, even 11yrs later. Other friends and associates don't know I carry.
    Last edited by ccw9mm; December 7th, 2006 at 11:23 AM.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
    NRA, SAF, GOA, OFF, ACLDN.


  2. #2
    Distinguished Member Array dimmak's Avatar
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    I have found that over time any reseervation they may have had initially has faded.... I dont make a big deal out of it and hence the "out of sight out of mind" as far as naysayers go.....
    "Ray Nagin is a colossal disappointment" - NRA/ILA Executive Director Chris W. Cox.


    "...be water, my friend."

  3. #3
    Member Array Nate's Avatar
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    My wife HATES guns. She had one of her classmates in elementary school kill themselves from a gun left some stupid person left loaded and unattended around kids who obviously weren't taught to know better.

    I'm already getting the looks when I tell her I'm putting together my CHP application, and REALLY expect some interesting conversations once I actually start carrying.

    She keeps throwing this liberal crap out at me, saying stuff like, "There's always been murders, and you're just fine," and "I don't see why they had to close down the freeway because of a pipe on the side of the road." (NoVA is experiencing increased gang activity, and we had a pipe bomb scare on the Capital Beltway just yesterday.)

    I told her she was naive, and I'm glad that the security of the country wasn't left to people like her. In today's day and age, it's almost a necessity to be cautious and ready, willing, and able to defend yourself if the need arises.

    On the plus side, if she decides to choose gun control over me, I get to keep all my guns, as Virginia is an "equitable property" state.

  4. #4
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    Sorry to hear your family is acting that way. Luckily, I have family and friends who hunt and understand self defense.
    "In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock." Thomas Jefferson


    Nemo Me Impune Lacesset

  5. #5
    Member Array ms.k's Avatar
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    I can sympathize Nate. While not many know, the few who do know don't understand why I feel the need to carry. Judging the reactions I have gotten thus far, I am not trying to advertise to the world that I carry. Don't feel like explaining myself 50x a day.

  6. #6
    Member Array freetrapper's Avatar
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    I feel for those of you that are having that trouble. I live in a rural area in the mid west and my family and most all of my friends are very much supportive of firearms and the use of them. That makes it a lot easier.

    I hope you hang in there and all goes well.

  7. #7
    Member Array gotammo's Avatar
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    never really had any issues I converted my mom and best friend and no one else knows or cares.
    99% of the time not even my bride knows I'm carrying

  8. #8
    Member Array realtor's Avatar
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    My Wife Treated Me Differently Alright!

    When I started to carry, her basic comment was "glad you caught up with me". Her permit came in about 30 days before mine. We had both applied to Florida because ,at that time, my County in MO was playing games with implementing MO's CCW law in 2004. Now I hold five permits and teach CCW so I am never at the risk of having to "catch up "with her again.

  9. #9
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    My wife grew up with a dad who always had his revo when answering the door! - so was used to guns but - after she lost her grampa thru a rifle accident involving her bro - she became less than keen on them.

    My very first carry days garnered reactions like - ''do you have to?" - ''that thing scares me'' . etc.

    Much has changed since then glad to say and she now has had her CCW near 2 years, tho does not utilize it enough at all - always working on that. She does tho see the ridiculousness of being scared of the gun - and she is a pretty proficient shooter now.

    My son was always fine about it and now has his CCW also. My daighter and her old man, who still live in UK - accept it just fine when visiting. So - no real impact adversely, tho gotta say at my age - not a whole lotta family left.

    One thing I know is that before my Mom passed on in 2003, she was delighted I carried - very pro - and that was a lady born and raised in old England.!! Bless her.
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  10. #10
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    Several of my relatives carry, and my mom was actually happy I got my permit. My husband is now one of us, mwahahaha. His brother is anti-gun (don't get me started) , and their parents keep their opinions to themselves (my mother-in-law has felt up my gun hugging me) and treat me very well.

    My true friends are of like-mind, so there's no issue there.

    Before I met my husband, I lost a few boyfriends (written about in one of my recent blogs) because of my "paranoia," but they weren't the ones for me, anyway... so no loss there.

    I do sympathize for those of you who have gotten ostracized for caring about your own well-being.
    "Americans have the will to resist because you have weapons. If you don't have a gun, freedom of speech has no power." - Yoshimi Ishikawa

  11. #11
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by freetrapper View Post
    I feel for those of you that are having that trouble.
    I hope you hang in there and all goes well.
    Oh, it's no trouble. The naivete and misunderstanding will remain their problem. I'll go protected, and will protect them if it comes to that. Not a problem. Just pointless and unnecessary, really.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
    NRA, SAF, GOA, OFF, ACLDN.

  12. #12
    Senior Member Array rangerman2003's Avatar
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    Girlfriend - likes it makes her feel all safe
    Dad - he is one of us too
    Mom - agrees with Girlfriend
    Friends - some carry others dont know

  13. #13
    VIP Member Array SammyIamToday's Avatar
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    A good portion of my family carries as well, so I didn't really have any problems there.

    My fiance whom I love to death didn't even skip a beat with it. I wouldn't trade her for anything.

    The only person to ever say anything was my mom, who asked me why I carried it loaded because that was dangerous. After I explained things to her, she understood and will probably end up getting her CCW permit herself at some point.
    ...He suggested that "every American citizen" should own a rifle and train with it on firing ranges "at every courthouse." -Chesty Puller

  14. #14
    Member Array General Geoff's Avatar
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    Family: Most of my family doesn't really know, and/or doesn't care. My mom and dad know I carry, they understand why I do, just "not their cup of tea." They don't mind when I carry around them though.

    My friends, well... All of whom I've told, are now in the process of getting their own permits! One of them has even joined the forums (reddevil).
    Discretion is the better part of valour; and a virtue beyond reproach.
    Pennsylvania Firearm Owners Association

  15. #15
    Member Array denverd0n's Avatar
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    There is absolutely no reason for anyone but my wife (who sees me getting dressed) to know.

    If it is your wife who objects then you have to find an amicable way to resolve it, you have to give up on carrying, or you have to find a good divorce attorney!

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