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What to do about anti-CCW friend

3K views 42 replies 39 participants last post by  older gunner 
#1 ·
I have a buddy of mine who is against me carrying around him. He knows I carry at all waking hours of the day. He tries to tell me to leave my guns at home, because he thinks the guns will go off by themselves in his car, and possibly blow a hole through the floorboard of his car. I tried to tell him that guns simply don't go off by themselves (especially 1911s), but for some reason he won't have anything to do with me carrying. It's either I leave my guns at home, or we don't hang out. Now I refuse to leave my carry gun at home, rendering myself defenseless in the event of a violent confrontation. I tried to invite him to go to the range, but he just tells me he's too busy, or has other plans. I even showed him all the safety features of my carry gun, but he still thinks that I'll get myself in trouble (even after I showed him Alaska's laws on CCW), or possibly have the gun go off. None of my other friends carry, only me. I feel like the lone ranger here. The one that is against me carrying at all, is really bugging me. He tries to tell me that nothing bad can happen, and nothing has happened to him in the 35 years he's been alive. I told him he's just been lucky for 35 years, but he just refuses to face reality. :sheep: :aargh4:
 
#4 ·
Pretty 'Cut 'n Dry'...

:sheep: ...find a new buddy!

Not liking guns is a right...that's fine...but to refuse to let you carry in his car...?
He sounds like an accident looking for a place to happen...with his attitude he'll get his chance.

I have had good friends who did not like guns (even a sister...extremely afraid of guns...). This does not affect my 24/7 carry. Most don't even know I carry (my sister does...knows I respect her feelings, but I still always carry...even in HER home...it is not discussed and not open to discussion!).

ret
 
#6 ·
Cut him loose and then wait until he is the victim of some crime. Then, go visit him in the hospital and see if he is ready to start taking resposibility for his own safety.

Seriously, who needs a friend who is the enemy of your freedom?
 
#7 ·
These folks exist - that's for sure but - in my experience there is no changing their outlook - none at all.

One long time leather working buddy in UK - who even made me some nice holsters - can only comment about my CCW - ''you are asking for trouble'' :rolleyes: He just does not get it.

Sure a guy may have been unscathed for 35 years - same as he may not have had a flat for 35 years - but will he not have his spare just because of that? Chances are out of all of us here - maybe only one of us in the next year might have to draw - and even then not shoot. But it's like any insurance - it's better to have and not need ..........
because he thinks the guns will go off by themselves in his car
When someone is as logic-deprived as that - you might as well save your energies as try to explain and win!
We just happen to be a group of folks who take personal responsibility for our own and family's welfare more seriously.
 
#20 ·
These folks exist - that's for sure but - in my experience there is no changing their outlook - none at all.

One long time leather working buddy in UK - who even made me some nice holsters - can only comment about my CCW - ''you are asking for trouble'' :rolleyes: He just does not get it.

Sure a guy may have been unscathed for 35 years - same as he may not have had a flat for 35 years - but will he not have his spare just because of that? Chances are out of all of us here - maybe only one of us in the next year might have to draw - and even then not shoot. But it's like any insurance - it's better to have and not need ..........

When someone is as logic-deprived as that - you might as well save your energies as try to explain and win!
We just happen to be a group of folks who take personal responsibility for our own and family's welfare more seriously.
The quoted post about sums it up. Just work around the issue best you can.
 
#8 ·
I lived ten years in Los Anchorage. Carrying a gun is a good idea. Even if you’re not in Anchorage you have the right and the duty to protect yourself and your loved ones- including your friend. He needs to take off those blinders and see what really goes on in the real world.

Ignorance is bliss.
 
#14 ·
I do live in Los Anchorage. It's a nice town, but it has its share of crime, as most cities do. Alaska's government just made it harder for criminals to attack law abiding Alaskans, and be successful at getting what they're after. Gang violence has been in the papers for quite awhile too. I strongly believe guns will always be a part of life in Alaska, and our newly elected female governor thankfully feels the same way.
 
#9 ·
I have to agree with kenpo, and others. Although I hate to just place a friendship in the gutter, it sounds like you have gone the extra mile to work with him and he still refuses to comprimise at all. All relationships involve some give and take. Maybe still be friends, just the kind that never hangs out...
 
#10 ·
Well, the funny thing is, he has a really dirt cheap 9mm handgun from a company called Intratec, so he's not entirely anti-gun, just anti-CCW. None of my other friends have a problem with me carrying around them. He watches the news every night, hearing reports about shootings and rape victims here in town. I guess there are other people like that, who can hear reports about violent acts of crime, and yet they're still oblivious to the actions they can take to help protect themselves and their loved ones.
 
#22 ·
he has a really dirt cheap 9mm handgun from a company called Intratec
:theyareontome:

His experience with the Intratec is probably why he thinks yours will go off at any moment!

Seriously though, I like pax's comment...just stop talking about it. I doubt that he will ask you about it evertime you guys see each other...if he does then you don't have to answer. Keep it concealed and try not to remind him of it...easier than loosing a friend over.
 
#11 ·
The one that is against me carrying at all, is really bugging me. He tries to tell me that nothing bad can happen, and nothing has happened to him in the 35 years he's been alive. I told him he's just been lucky for 35 years, but he just refuses to face reality. :sheep: :aargh4:
You gave him a chance and he won't wake up. Time for new non-:sheep: friend.
 
#12 ·
So it's your safety or friendship? Depending on the length of the friendship--that truely is a hard choice--yet it is a choice that NO true friend would ask another to make.

Find a new friend...if he's that afraid of an inanimate object, then imagine what it will be like when a BG uses an inanimate object against your friend. Tell him to call you when: 1) he accepts he is responsible for his safety (not the police) or 2) after he is a victim of a crime and accepts he is responsible for his safety.
 
#18 ·
First, it's a shame that you let him know that you carry. But, that's the past. If it we me, I'd tell him that we've been good friends for a long time, and that you value his friendship. But I feel strongly that it's a dangerous world out there, and the way events have gone for the past few tear, it's just gotten worse. I've worked hard to learn how to defend myself and my loved ones, including him. I've gotten the proper training, bought a quality pistol, and complied with all state and federal laws regarding the carrying of a concealed handgun. It is a decision that I gave a great deal of thought to, and I take both the right and the responsibility seriously. I do not allow others to make life and death decisions for me, regardless of how much I like them as a friend. I will continue to carry my weapon. I value his friendship. And I am sorry that he does not value mine.
 
#21 ·
I dunno what to tell ya. Read my "converted the gf" thread. My gf was a HUGE, I mean, HUGE pacifist, hated guns, wouldn't even go near them. That was last week, as of last Tuesday, she can't get enough of guns, now she's "making" me take her out every Tuesday to shoot. She's even going to get her Carry Permit within the week.
 
#23 ·
I do try my best not to bring up the subject of guns or CCW with him, but its always him who brings it up. He often jokes around about me carrying, and being "scared", and shooting people. I've known him for a few years, and its not often I lose a friend over rational decisions.
 
#24 ·
I've known him for a few years, and its not often I lose a friend over rational decisions.
It's not your rational decision that's causing the problem, it's your friend's irrational fears.
 
#25 ·
Well, he better stay out of donut shops, since there may be folks in there wearing guns along with their badges....:gah:

Friendships are too dear to blow off over one issue. I have friends who are political fruitcakes, but we enjoy each other's friendship on a lot of other fronts.

I'd suggest that you never give up carrying in his presence, but perhaps whenever you go anywhere, you do the driving. At least that eliminates the squawk about carrying in his car.

And, just don't continue to debate the issue, since neither of you will change. Let it go.
 
#26 ·
I would just let the friendship :scratchchin: casually go away. Just tell the individual that you're busy, don't have time to get together, etc. etc. There are too many of us out here that would welcome your friendship - don't need to bang our heads against the wall with an anti- or sort of anti- or whatever. He has his right to be a sheep and you have yours to choose who you want to be your friend.
 
#27 ·
Lotsa good advice.
i would run with the ingnore it angle..if that does not work then i go with the ignore him angle...if he won't let it die then he killed the friendship not you.
ya hate to lose a friend but an irrational friend is or can be a liability.
 
#28 ·
Why tell anyone that you are carrying? I think the need to advertise to friends & family that you carry, can be an over powering need & only creates the possiblity of trouble down the road. Most of my friends & family don't know that I carry. However, I have noticed that I want to tell them & I don't know why. Does anyone know why? I was out the other night at a social gathering & the topic of guns came up. It was a positive discussion & CCW never came up. But, I felt a need to tell them I carry. However, I didn't. Odd feeling!
 
#29 · (Edited)
I have a buddy of mine who is against me carrying around him. What to do about anti-CCW friend
Options: Carry anyway, and he'll risk the friendship; stop carrying, and you'll be at risk from BG's; break off the relationship; or, turn him.

Not every "anti" need be turned. But you've got a friend here. IMO, it comes down to one thing, always, in all cases: The other person simply does not appreciate the risk, cannot see the possibility, and and won't (not can't) think through scenarios and plan out a response.

What I try, when faced with someone I care about who simply won't allow him/herself to be open to rationale ... not that it has worked very well yet:
  • I calmly describe a few typical situations I've had in my past, personally, where I've been attacked or had things happen right in front of me.
  • I equate the concept of carrying a defensive tool to any other situation that requires a tool. Everyone understands cell phones, a pencil, a fire extinguisher, a spare tire. The trick is getting the other person to see that a situation of life & death proportions often can only be effectively managed via use of a firearm.
  • I explain that the State has a list of standards that must be met in order to even qualify.
  • I explain that I sought extensive professional training for a couple of years in advance of ever applying for such a license to carry.
  • I mention that I agree it's not for everyone, but that there is simply no alternative to the right tool in certain circumstances.
  • I conclude by indicating my position if attacked: I'll defend. I carry. That doesn't change me, it merely changes the list of tools I have and the list of options I have to choose from in the event that I'm threatened.
It's honest. It's forthright. It's basic. It works for me. It doesn't shove anything down his/her throat, requiring that he/she also believe the same. It simply asks that he/she acknowledge the rationale and that someone can come to a different conclusion, given the life & death nature of self defense.

At the very least, my friends understand me better. I've lost a few friends, who decided to have nothing to do with me afterwards. I count that as no small loss, as they didn't have the honesty or open mind sufficient to separate prejudices from reality. I've got a couple friends where the friendship strengthened after that.

YMMV, of course.

- Michael
 
#31 ·
When you get get confronted by street scum hell bent on shanking you with a rusty screwdriver all because you looked at him sideways, who's gonna save you, this guy?

If they aren't willing to accept you for who you are, then find new friends. The range is a good place to meet some like-minded people :)
 
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