Need Help w/Wife ...

This is a discussion on Need Help w/Wife ... within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; So I finally get my CCL and the other evening before leaving for dinner my wife asks if I am carrying ... I respond with ...

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Thread: Need Help w/Wife ...

  1. #1
    Member Array DataMax's Avatar
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    Need Help w/Wife ...

    So I finally get my CCL and the other evening before leaving for dinner my wife asks if I am carrying ... I respond with "No, why?" It is at that point she tells me that she would rather not be with me when I am carrying and she would preffer that our children aren't either.

    I tried to explain to her that the whole point of the exercise is to put myself in a better position to protect her and the girls. She tells me that I have done just fine for years. That is when I tell her that we have never taken a trip where there was not a firearm under my seat, we have never stayed in a hotel room where there was not a firearm within reach. I just could not do it legally.

    So now I am legal, but for all intents and purposes I still have to keep things concealed from my wife. With this in mind I would suppose that my only options are pocket carry, smart carry, ankle carry. At any rate I plan to carry, I just plan to carry without her knowledge.
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  3. #2
    Member Array Jester's Avatar
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    Exactly what I do, its concealed, I keep it that way from everyone.

  4. #3
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    Go up these websites to help her understand that her bias is wrong headed and dangerous. Dr. Lott does a great job of explaining.

    http://www.johnlott.org/

    http://johnrlott.tripod.com/postsbyday/RTCResearch.html
    21 years and 21 days, United States Marine Corps & NRA Life Member since 1972

    "The trouble is with the increasingly widespread problem of idiots prancing around out there confusing their opinions with actual facts." peckman28

  5. #4
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    Just hope the time doesnt come where she's "wishing" you had been carrying. Good luck

  6. #5
    Member Array luteai's Avatar
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    how serious of a problem?

    I'm fortunately not in your shoes. With that said, until you sway your honey, our house motto is "if mama aint happy, aint no body happy" I don't relish being a sheep, but I'd rather be a sheep than single Luteai

  7. #6
    Member Array Homer1's Avatar
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    Sorry I don't have an anwser for you.
    My wife told me when I applyed for CCL that she dos'nt want me to carry when she is with me.
    I have had lecense sence Jan 3rd and carried every where WE
    have been together.
    Which has been on the go every weekend.
    So far she has been none the wiser.
    I carry g27 strong side 4:00

  8. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by luteai View Post
    I don't relish being a sheep, but I'd rather be a sheep than single
    I don't know if I agree. Luckily I do not have that problem as my significant other agrees that part of my responsibility as a man is to protect the family. But, if it came down to it, I think I would go armed. If she wants to keep the kids (which we don't have yet) she better be ready for a legal battle to end all legal battles.
    "The only people I like besides my wife and children are Marines."
    - Lt. Col. Oliver North

  9. #8
    Member Array DataMax's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Homer1 View Post
    Sorry I don't have an anwser for you.
    My wife told me when I applyed for CCL that she dos'nt want me to carry when she is with me.
    I have had lecense sence Jan 3rd and carried every where WE
    have been together.
    Which has been on the go every weekend.
    So far she has been none the wiser.
    I carry g27 strong side 4:00
    Coolio!
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  10. #9
    VIP Member Array Tom G's Avatar
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    I had the same trouble with my wife until we ran into trouble. That changed her mind. You would think she would incourage conceled carry if she reads the paper. I live in a tourist area and a lot goes on here that you don't hear about. The BGs just robbed a family at an Ihop resturant and shot one of the men for no reason and repeatably stuck a stun gun to one of the woman. She may come around. Just start reading her some of the crimes that are happing that are in the paper.If possible get her to go to the range with you. Good luck and I hope she will come around. Get her a .22 pistol.

  11. #10
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DataMax View Post
    ... she tells me that she would rather not be with me when I am carrying and she would preffer that our children aren't either.
    If this is not resolved, it can destroy the relationship between you.

    I have a family member who is like that. Thankfully for me, she lives elsewhere. But there is simply no speaking with her on the subject. It's verboten with a capital "V" at all times. The logic is non-existent and even when faced with irrefutable and simple rationale and facts, in the end it's like this: "... well, it still isn't right and I can't accept that." Even when faced with no rationale to support the bias, and no logic that can explain away the facts, it's dismissed on emotional grounds as evil and wrong. It's morally wrong, to her: possession, use, carrying. It's a necessary evil for some (ie, police), but it remains an evil. Frankly, I don't think there is any dealing or arguing with it. IMO, it cannot be justified, but that doesn't help anything. It is what it is.

    Suggestions? I haven't the first clue. If she is impenetrable, with respect to rational thought on this topic because of the simple fact it's this topic (guns), she is abdicating from her humanity, intelligence and duty as a parent to protect her family. It's that sort of thinking that in a real situation can get people killed. And in those sorts of situations, in reality, often it's a firearm that's the only suitable tool for defense. I'd much rather have the right tools, the basic tools, than to live with someone seeking to apply guilt and pressure to disarm me. That, I will not do. But that's just me.

    The only argument I can think of is this. It's the simplest and most basic rationale. It doesn't rely on emotion. It doesn't vary with respect to the vocation of the user of the tool.
    Some tools are so crucial in certain situations that there is no viable alternative tool. Such as a fire extinguisher; a cell phone, if communications is required; or a spare tire if going into the wilds where cell phones don't reach; or rope if climbing/dropping needs to be done; or a firearm for defense; or insurance to cover the unexpected. It's a simple matter of preparedness. Either have the tool and be prepared, or fail to have the tool and go unprepared for what might happen.

    She'll either buy it or not.

    I agree: she needs to be attacked, or to be present and witness her family being attacked. And she needs to witness the power of the proper tool at the proper place/time that's properly used. Sad, but apparently in this case true.

    Good luck.
    Last edited by ccw9mm; February 1st, 2007 at 09:19 PM.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
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  12. #11
    VIP Member Array TN_Mike's Avatar
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    I don't know what to say to you my friend. My wife carries every day and she gets it, completely. We both carry to protect our children and ourselves. By protecting ourselves, we are in effect protecting the kids too. Protecting them from growing up with out one or both of their parents.

    We read your post and for the life of us can not understand a woman, who is a Mother, [I]not[I] understanding that what you are doing is protecting her and your kids. It defies reason and logic.

    I wish you luck but I do not know what to tell you about your problem. And it is a problem.
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    Distinguished Member Array AKsrule's Avatar
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    Unhappy

    Ya know , it's kinda hard to carry a gun when the wife is wearin
    the Pants...

    Sounds like you delayed getting your permit all that time just so
    you didn't have to deal with her.

    Sorry if this sounds Harsh , but you need to work on your Relationship
    as much as you need to work on your carry skills.......
    -------
    -SIG , it's What's for Dinner-

    know your rights!
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    "If I walk in the woods, I feel much more comfortable carrying a gun. What if you meet a bear in the woods that's going to attack you? You shoot it."
    {Bernhard Goetz}

  14. #13
    VIP Member Array MNBurl's Avatar
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    Carry anyway!

    Tell her your doing it for her and the kids because it is your job to "love, honor and protect" them all for life.

    It worked for me. Now she is glad I carry!
    MNBurl

    "If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking" - George S. Patton.

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    I tried to explain to her that the whole point of the exercise is to put myself in a better position to protect her and the girls. She tells me that I have done just fine for years.
    This is a faulty argument. What happened in the past is just that in the past. We are not concerned with what is in the past it is over. Our concern is with the future and the future is unknown. At midnight December 6, 1941 everyone in Pearl Harbor could have said to the US military that they had done fine for years. What did they say at noon on December 7. What happened in the past is fine, but it does not assure you that the same will be true in the future.

    P95Carry would ask the question - Just because you did not need your spare tire last week are you willing to take it out of the car this week? Or, just because you haven't had a need for you auto insurance or health insurance for the past two weeks do you decide to forego having it for the next two weeks?

    There is one mindset that logic and questions like those above cannot penetrate. That is the one who says, "Don't confuse me with the facts my mind is made up." This is sometimes called "Pigheadedness." The only thing that finally gets through to this kind of person is being placed in the position of danger. Unfortunately many of them do not survive to make a change. The ones that do are those that the saying, "A conservative is a liberal who has been mugged" is about.
    George

    Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. Albert Einstein

  16. #15
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    good luck, try calm rational reasoning on her.
    "In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock." Thomas Jefferson


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