Convincing a pacifist to carry a CCW

Convincing a pacifist to carry a CCW

This is a discussion on Convincing a pacifist to carry a CCW within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; I have been trying for some time to convince my pacifist girlfriend to carry concealed, to no avail. She works a a social worker and ...

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  1. #1
    New Member Array KRobb1963's Avatar
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    Convincing a pacifist to carry a CCW



    I have been trying for some time to convince my pacifist girlfriend to carry concealed, to no avail. She works a a social worker and must often go into homes (in bad neighborhoods) and deal with parents and families at risk of losing their children. She is of the mindset that guns are bad and she would rather not have one. I see her job as putting her at risk for violent assult. Any suggestions as to how to convince her?

    KRobb


  2. #2
    VIP Member Array SIGguy229's Avatar
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    research news articles where people have been killed for no more than being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

    research the same kind of articles where someone with a CCW defended themselves.

    Then ask her which hospital she would like to be taken to. Then ask her what funeral home she likes best.

    Extreme? Yep....

    ...but short of a beat down in a bad neighborhood, how else will you get her attention?

  3. #3
    VIP Member Array SammyIamToday's Avatar
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    If she's a true pacifist you'll never convince her. There's nothing wrong with that I suppose, it is an individual choice, just not one I would ever make.


    If she's just a sheep that's misinformed about firearms, take her shooting, that's always the best way to start. Use a .22 that's very easy to handle and use targets that react well like balloons.

    There are also several books out there that show the danger women can be in. Also Pax's site is a great resource for women. www.corneredcat.com I believe.
    ...He suggested that "every American citizen" should own a rifle and train with it on firing ranges "at every courthouse." -Chesty Puller

  4. #4
    Member Array General Geoff's Avatar
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    A true pacifist will never carry a gun for self defense.

    That's her decision, and I respect her for it. Just make sure she's chosen to be a pacifist for the right reasons.
    Discretion is the better part of valour; and a virtue beyond reproach.
    Pennsylvania Firearm Owners Association

  5. #5
    Ex Member Array BikerRN's Avatar
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    I don't think this is something you should try to force on her.

    I deal with felons daily, and they can tell if someone has the "mindset" and "where with all" to stop an encounter with deadly force if so needed. If she is not 100% committed they will know, and respond as such.

    To me she sounds like a victim waiting to happen. That's OK, she may or may not learn. Nobody can make that choice for her, only her. You have educated her on some of the options available to her. That is all you can or should do, it's her choice.

    I had to take the guns away from my elderly mother because she got to the point that she was only willing to scare someone with the gun, but not shoot them. I took her guns away for her safety, I didn't want someone to get her gun and use it on her.

    It's a sad fact of life, but some people are destined to be sheep. This friend of your's sounds like one. It's a good thing I like lamb chops.

    Biker

  6. #6
    Senior Member Array cmidkiff's Avatar
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    She's a pacifist? Why would you want her to carry? If she really is a pacifist, she wouldn't use a weapon when needed, even if she had it!

    Your real objective is to change her from being a pacifist into someone that agrees with your opinions on self defense.

    Good luck with that. I gave up trying to change a person's basic nature long ago. People do change, but the basis for that change has to come from inside.

    You can explain your position, make sure that she's exposed to pro-self defense articles preferably written by women who used to agree with her and have changed their mind. Try http://www.corneredcat.com/ for starters (Hi Pax!).

    If (or when) all your attempts to change her into what you want her to be fail, you have to ask yourself if you want to stay with her, as she is, or try to find a woman with whom you have more in common.
    Liberty is an inherently offensive lifestyle. Living in a free society guarantees that each one of us will see our most cherished principles and beliefs questioned and in some cases mocked. It's worth it.

  7. #7
    VIP Member Array Redneck Repairs's Avatar
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    You cannot and should not convince her . If she is not entirely blind her job will strip her of illusions fast enough , hopefully without harming her physically . You need to tone down, and when she begins thinking about it , be there to educate her and assist. She will see crap no one should , just like ems , and LE . Just be supportive and ready to help her make wise choices when the time comes .
    Make sure you get full value out of today , Do something worthwhile, because what you do today will cost you one day off the rest of your life .
    We only begin to understand folks after we stop and think .

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  8. #8
    Member Array Dan M.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Redneck Repairs View Post
    You cannot and should not convince her . If she is not entirely blind her job will strip her of illusions fast enough , hopefully without harming her physically . You need to tone down, and when she begins thinking about it , be there to educate her and assist. She will see crap no one should , just like ems , and LE . Just be supportive and ready to help her make wise choices when the time comes .
    Excellent advice.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Array Moga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BikerRN View Post
    I don't think this is something you should try to force on her.

    I deal with felons daily, and they can tell if someone has the "mindset" and "where with all" to stop an encounter with deadly force if so needed. If she is not 100% committed they will know, and respond as such.

    To me she sounds like a victim waiting to happen.
    My thoughts exactly. The effort that I would endeavor to bring a person toward an appreciation of personal protection when they have deep rooted philosophical objections against firearms would be to emphasize the situational awareness aspect of self defense. Honoring the basic rules of situational awareness can go a long way toward personal protection, even if one elects not to own/use a gun.

    Good luck.
    2nd Amendment: because personal violence never makes an appointment.
    Evil resides in the heart of the individual, not in inanimate objects.
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  10. #10
    Senior Member Array INTJ's Avatar
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    I have a Bachelors Science Social Work and have have worked in social service jobs that required me to make home visits. I know exactly what you are expressing and I admire her for choosing social work as a career.

    All the agency policies I have encountered thus far specifically prohibit carrying a firearm. I'm sure she is aware she is not required to make any visits anywhere she feels her safety is concerned. Even though she may not tell you, social workers are very astute at realizing the dangers of the job. We receive a lot of training both academically and on the job to spot potential trouble areas in our environment.

    She is certainly not doing social work for the money. It is a helping profession and I am sure she has very strong convictions about what she is doing. I would talk to her about your concerns and ask her what she is doing to insure her safety. Maybe you can add some pointers besides carrying.
    "Beware of the man who only owns one gun. He probably knows how to use it."

  11. #11
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    Agreed with what is above.

    When I told my mother that I carried concealed she said, "I don't have a problem with people who carry, but I, personally, could never do it. I know I would hesitate, probably get it taken away from me and used on me. It would do me more harm than good."

    In that case, she's right. It would do her more harm than good.

    A gun in the hands of someone who's unwilling to use it is worse than no gun at all.

    If you are so concerned for her safety, stop trying to push concealed carry, which she obviously doesn't want to do, and start pushing some other, nonlethal forms of self defense such as mace and the like.

    Never push a gun on someone who's not willing to use it, in the end, you may be doing more harm than good.

  12. #12
    Senior Member Array Zundfolge's Avatar
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    I can't imagine any there are any social services organizations (public or private) that don't have explicit rules against CCW.

    But that issue aside, as long as she's not "forbidding" you to carry, I'd let it alone.

    Chances are YOU aren't going to be able to change her mind. If her mind is to be changed on the issue it'll have to come from someone other than her SO. Women (especially in today's American culture) are taught from an early age to not "let a man tell her what to do".

    If she's going to come around it will be on her terms.

  13. #13
    Distinguished Member Array p8riot's Avatar
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    A handgun is the ultimate portable pacifier.
    "You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone." - Al Capone

    The second amendment is the reset button of our Constitution.

  14. #14
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    I am amazed at how many people here end up in relationships with women that are so much different from them on a pretty important issue. It sounds to me that marriage would be impossible. She doesn't want guns, and I assume you won't be giving yours up. Too bad I suppose.

    Regardless, I disagree with everyone that says they admire or support her decision. I do not support anyone that refuses to protect themselves. Some here seem to believe that a sheep is an anti-gun person. That is true in part, but her mindset is one of a true sheep- and she lives in a world of wolves. Sorry, but that's just stupid.
    "The only people I like besides my wife and children are Marines."
    - Lt. Col. Oliver North

  15. #15
    Senior Member Array INTJ's Avatar
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    Not sure if I'm included and you disagree with me or not. I stated I admire her career choice, same as mine. Her profession is one that is not friendly or conducive to firearm carry.

    Think why correctional facility officers do not carry handguns around the inmates and maybe you can get a picture of what I'm trying to relate. The people she deals with daily have some very emotional and probably mental heath issues and firearms just might be more of a liablity than asset.

    Just a thought based on my social work experience. Sometimes we must venture outside of our comfort zone :-)
    Last edited by INTJ; March 27th, 2007 at 03:56 PM. Reason: Expounding
    "Beware of the man who only owns one gun. He probably knows how to use it."

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