Need help with training the family

Need help with training the family

This is a discussion on Need help with training the family within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Now that I'm packin, my instructor suggested talking with the family about how they should react in different circumstances. As he said, If were siting ...

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  1. #1
    VIP Member Array Cupcake's Avatar
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    Need help with training the family

    Now that I'm packin, my instructor suggested talking with the family about how they should react in different circumstances. As he said, If were siting in a Coney Island eating dinner, and some scumbag comes in to rob the place, the last thing I want to hear is :"DAD! YOU HAVE A GUN, DO SOMETHING!"

    What I'm looking for is your input on what I should over with them. The boy is 10 and the girl is 13, if that matters. The wife won't tell how old she is.

    So I'll start with : 1. keep your mouth shut.

    then maybe add: 2. If shooting starts, don't cling to me.

    What else?
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  2. #2
    Member Array aepilotjim's Avatar
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    Exit routes,
    Safe meeting places,
    Actions your wife should take with the kids. That's assuming, of course, that she's the primary on kid wrangling and you're primary on family defense.

    "Don't" in a training situation isn't very good. What happens is they follow the don'ts but then are stuck doing nothing. It's more important that they have positive actions to do. It would be a shame and a da** waste if your kids followed your instructions, but then leave themselves in the middle of a dangerous situation.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Array kylebce's Avatar
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    I'm sure you're a good Dad to your kids. I believe most Gun-guys are.

    Based on their ages- I wouldn't say too much. Tactical scenarios are fun on the forum and good for us to have definite plans for action, but the topic is severe for children. It is my philosiphy to answer questions that the kids may have, but keep it rated T for teen (mine are 13, 14 and 16.) My 16 year old is ready for more indepth answers, and they've shot as much as I did at their ages.

    Certainly talk to your wife about exit plans, and what to do with the kids. Heaven forbid you are ever in a desperate situation with the family- the kids will be scared silly and likely follow any command you issue like "Get down" or "Go with Mom!"

    I found that when I got my permit and started to carry, I would talk to my wife, and she really didn't want to think about the what if's. So, speaking from experience- ease into it and let her know you dont plan to be Rambo now.

    I'm not saying "dont talk to your family/ kids about guns" but be positive- talk about shooting, safety, hunting, etc. and not CQB tactics or targets on the human body.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Array JohnKelly's Avatar
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    I've told my wife and kids that a single code-word command means to leave the immediate area ASAP. Depending on circumstances, I may or may not be able to go with them. But my wife is to take control of the kids and vacate. If she hesitates, my oldest son (14 and a few inches taller than her) is to take control. No discussion, no "why do we have to leave" BS.

    Having said this, we haven't actually trained for such a scenario. So that's on the to-do list :(

  5. #5
    Senior Member Array Geezer's Avatar
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    JohnKelly - good idea with the code word (s). I never thought about it, but a unique word would be an instant signal for action. It's also something a young person can relate to.

  6. #6
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    Array rocky's Avatar
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    Basically instructed my kids to 1. get down 2. find an exit if possible.
    "In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock." Thomas Jefferson


    Nemo Me Impune Lacesset

  7. #7
    Member Array robinsonre's Avatar
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    We don't have kids yet, but my biggest problems in such a situation would be with my wife. She's incredibly clingy and she likes to hang on me all the time, particularly she likes to hang on my right side (the side my gun is usually on) and does this most often when she is frightened.
    I try to steer her away from this behavior and it is (slowly) working, I also try to direct myself around to her right side that way if she does decide to grab for an arm it is on my weak side.

    - Ryan
    "Life exists at a level of complexity almost beyond our ability to comprehend. It's a well known fact that if you try to take apart a cat to see how it works one of the first things you have on your hands is a non-working cat" - Douglas Adams

    "All things are governed by law" - Hippocrates

  8. #8
    Member Array duracles's Avatar
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    I'd take the kids and get them the NRA basic pistol class or at least a Hunter's Safety class so that everyone is on the same page for basic safety. I'm reading an excellent book now called : "The Concealed Handgun Manual" by Chris Bird. It has alot of scenario stuff and is well writen. Haven't finished reading it yet, but so far it's good might help you out.
    "The best compliment to the Warrior is that others feel safe while you are around." I would add especially if they REALLY ARE safe when you are around.

  9. #9
    Distinguished Member Array ArmyCop's Avatar
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    Good on your first two. I had similar talk with my wife and added....

    If I tell you to get down - then nice and easy get down under the table and don't think I'm joking.

    The hard part about that is - I love to joke - but now I can't about that or she'd think I was kidding....
    For God, Family and Country!

  10. #10
    Senior Member Array Timmy Jimmy's Avatar
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    I only have one child a daughter 13 and she has mined every word I have said for 13 years (I figure tomorrow she will decide to ignore me for the next 13 years) I have taken her to the range and she is very good with the weapon but she hates it.

    I have told her and her mom that if and when it happens to "GET DOWN, GET BACK, GO THAT WAY NOW" are words that they are to do exactly that and not to hesitate.

    A few weeks ago we were at the dry cleaners, we were just getting out of the car, my daughter half out of the back door of the drivers side, I was out, when there was gun fire but I had no idea where it was coming from. I pushed my daughter back in the car and yelled GET DOWN, she did exactly what she was supposed to. My wife had not opened her door yet and dove under the dashboard. I pulled my weapon when shots rang out again and I relized we were right across the street from a cemetary and it was a 21 gun salute.

    I felt stupid and proud at the same time, my family did exactly what I had told them to do.
    Timmy Jimmy

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  11. #11
    Senior Member Array Paladin132's Avatar
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    I had that same problem, Robinsonre. I have gotten past it though and she knows now that if I let go of her hand to let go quickly, not to hold on for another squeeze. This came from driving when I needed both hands a few times over the winter and a was not happy with one hand out of commission . So now she mostly stays to my left, and when she doens't we don't hold hands as much on the right, just in case.

    You never know when it might go south.

  12. #12
    VIP Member Array Cupcake's Avatar
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    Some good words here guys, I appreciate all of it.
    Spend few minutes learning about my journey from Zero to Athlete in this mini documentary!
    Then check out my blog! www.BodyByMcDonalds.com

    Cupcake - 100 pound loser, adventurer, Ironman Triathlete.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Array tanksoldier's Avatar
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    Pretty much what others have mentioned. My wife knows to keep quiet about my gun and get away from me if shooting starts. We also have a code word that means I'm about to start shooting and she needs to get away.
    "I am a Soldier. I fight where I am told, and I win where I fight." GEN George S. Patton, Jr.

  14. #14
    Member Array kd5nrh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Timmy Jimmy View Post
    I only have one child
    Well, at least somebody on this board learns quickly


    I pulled my weapon when shots rang out again and I relized we were right across the street from a cemetary and it was a 21 gun salute.
    Wasn't this in one of the Hot Shots movies?

  15. #15
    VIP Member Array havegunjoe's Avatar
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    No children left at home so I gave this advise to my wife:

    If trouble starts her primary job is to.........Protect the King. I won't print what her reply was.

    Really I told her to move fast in the opposite direction from where the trouble is coming from. Don't worry or stop for me, I am armed and will cover her retreat. At the first opportunity call 911, give them our whereabouts and ask for the police. Then hang up. If you see that I have control of the situation stop retreating but stay back out of the way.
    DEMOCRACY IS TWO WOLVES AND A LAMB VOTING ON WHAT TO HAVE FOR LUNCH. LIBERTY IS A WELL ARMED LAMB CONtestING THE VOTE.

    Certified Instructor for Minnesota Carry Permit
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