Getting compared to a killer could make you a little blue, too.

This is a discussion on Getting compared to a killer could make you a little blue, too. within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; I apologize if this rant (and that is what it will be) is a little melancholy. I had a bad night and I'm offended. I'm ...

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Thread: Getting compared to a killer could make you a little blue, too.

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    Unhappy Getting compared to a killer could make you a little blue, too.

    I apologize if this rant (and that is what it will be) is a little melancholy. I had a bad night and I'm offended. I'm not mad or angry because I understand that right now emotions are raw, but I feel violated in a way.

    Every month I attend a writer's group at a local book store. I'm a writer, and I greatly enjoy getting together with other writers and sharing our experiences and imaginations through the written word.

    I don't believe in fate or destiny but sometimes I think God arranges some situations to just see what happens.

    Three things had to happen to make tonight what it was.

    1. Someone had to submit a piece for me to critique that had some erroneous gun information that I would find and correct.

    2. I had to arrive early for my group and decide to pick up a few gun books to look at while I waited.

    3. The subject of the VT shooting HAD to come up.

    As I said, I arrived about a half hour early for my writer's group and decided to spend that time looking over a gun drawing book and a book about the 1911.

    I took them over to where the group normally meets and I sat to read while waiting for the group to begin.

    As other group members began arriving I closed the books and left them on my lap.

    The subject of the VT shooting came up and the venom began to flow.

    I sat silently by as several of the group members raved about banning all guns or at least all handguns and that anyone caught with a gun should automatically get five years in prison and so on and so on. I stayed quiet because I sensed (correctly) that now was not the time for debate. These people were angry, irrational, were venting and would only be more indignant were I to speak up.

    At one point in time the group leader turned to me and said, "Now, I understand that you don't share my opinion, but I'm just voicing mine here."

    I said, "I understand. That's perfectly fine."

    The writer's group started and we dived into critiquing the pieces. In time the piece with the erroneous gun information came up in it and I spoke up.

    "As a somewhat experienced gun advocate I found something wrong with some of the information that you have in here about rifles and ammo," I began.

    There were a few mumbles from two members of "here comes the gun girl," but I plowed ahead anyway, stating the author's error and suggesting how he could fix it.

    Those who were steadily preaching about the evils of guns remained DEATHLY silent as I explained a few facts about ammo and rifles that he had portrayed very poorly (and unnecessarily frightening).

    We moved on quickly and at the end of the meeting, as I was arranging some things to leave, a group member finally noticed the books that I was holding on my lap the entire time. She picked up one of the books, showed it to the group and said, "Oh my God, LOOK at this. See what she is looking at?" She then sat in front of me and said in a joking manner, "Are we going to have to have an intervention? Are you stable and feeling okay? You aren't going to go crazy on us now are you?"

    She meant it as a joke but I was both hurt and offended. She practically categorized me with a killer just because of my interests. I know that she was not meaning to offend me and she meant it as a joke but I couldn't help to think if I had something so careless how ripped to shreds I would have been. Instead, those who overheard laughed and someone said, "We'll have to watch her."

    I know I'm preaching to the choir when I say this, but I've done the best I know how to be a law-abiding, gentle, stable, happy, benefit to society, and I am offended by the notion that, because I am a gun advocate, I am anything less than a good woman trying to do my best in this world.

    The comments were unnecessary and uncalled for and also a little depressing. I've tried hard to show people that we gun advocates are just like them and all of that was blown apart in the wink of an eye, or more appropriately, the pull of a trigger.

    I plan on sending the gal a note expressing that I found her comment offensive, though I know her intentions were not to do so, but I can't help but feel like the antis are winning.

    My only hope was when an Army vet came up to me and said he was impressed with my knowledge on the ammo and the different types of rifles and we shared shooting stories for a little bit. The author of the piece who had made the error also approached me and asked if he couldn't email me some of his piece ahead of time to get my opinion on some other rifles and ammunition that will come up later in the story.

    I know that emotions are raw, but that shouldn't be a free pass to say whatever crosses your mind unaware of how it will effect people.

    We pro-gunners are supposed to be SOOO sensitive right now and walk on our tip toes out of respect for those who feel differently than us but they can say whatever they want... It's sad.

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  3. #2
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    Those of us who are "sheepdogs" are likely always feared by those who are not....

    http://www.killology.com/sheep_dog.htm

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    At times hearing the Are you stable right now comment I have want to reply, "If I was not you would be dead" but have held my tongue.
    Mark

    "The world is filled with violence. Because criminals carry guns, we decent law-abiding citizens should also have guns. Otherwise they will win and the decent people will lose."

    -James Earl Jones

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    Yes, sadly, they have to use sarcasm and put downs because the facts don't support their side. They have naught but emotions to use. Sorry that happened. Without knowing the person, I will just say: try not to let an insensitive clod get you down. You know you are right and walked away the better person.
    eschew obfuscation

    The only thing that stops bad guys with guns is good guys with guns. SgtD

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    Member Array ShowMeState1977's Avatar
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    Keep your chin up Lima! We know who those sheep will run to if the the fecal matter hits the oscillating air circulation device.
    Press the fight!

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    VIP Member Array Redneck Repairs's Avatar
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    Are we going to have to have an intervention?
    oO( No dear " We " arnt , but should someone come thro that door with a gun and murder in thier heart i am ready to )
    Make sure you get full value out of today , Do something worthwhile, because what you do today will cost you one day off the rest of your life .
    We only begin to understand folks after we stop and think .

    Criminals are looking for victims, not opponents.

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    Senior Member Array cagueits's Avatar
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    That lady needs to apologize in front of the group, or you need to find a better group of people to hang out / work with.

    You also need to have a few comebacks at the ready for those smart asses that come along every once in a while.

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    it's a shame that being a confident gun owner and being an "artist" are almost mutually exclusive. i (used to) belong to a local group of writers and poets in my area. for the past few years, we held a poetry/prose reading on the last friday of every month, but we usually get together regularly just to socialize. a number of us got together yesterday, and of course, the incident at VT came up. the usual gun control discussion came up, which i normally avoid. this time, though, being upset over what was done to those poor kids, i spoke up, and i'm sure you can guess what i told them. about 80% of the group were speechless, until one of the ladies went off on a nearly incoherent, rosie-esque rant about how i was part of the problem, how anybody at any time can snap, and how if cho never got his hands on a gun, those kids would all be alive, ad nauseam. everyone else either nodded in agreement, shook their heads disapprovingly at me, or remained silent.

    i was pretty shocked, at the least. these are the same people who advocated free speech, who constantly and consistently spoke about defending their rights. they prided themselves on being an open minded, accepting bunch of "artists", but, now that i've been outed as one of "those crazy right wing militia gun nuts", most of them now avoid me like i smell like herring. only 3 of the group have approached me since then, and only 1 of them has told me that she agreed with me. she asked me not to tell anyone, though.

    i guess my advice is to say "screw it." you're not going to change anyone's mind, nor should you need to. anyone who would make a joke like that, or slight you in any way for your beliefs, is obviously incapable of a rationale thought, and not worth spending another thought on. that woman who made that joke, and those like her, are really the problem with our society, not us.


    on a side note, i wonder if any of them realize that artists like william burroughs, ernest hemingway and charles bukowski liked to shoot guns?

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    This is the email I wrote. I have not sent it yet because I wanted to get some feed back before I hit the "send" button. I wanted to be both respectful but yet show her WHY her comment would offend me.

    Let me know what you think...

    XXXXX,
    I'm sorry the topic of the VT shooting came up so many times this evening. I, like you, find the emphasis to be placed in all of the wrong places and the media (even when I don't have a TV) to be overplaying the event. Sadly, they will continue to do so for weeks. My hope, tonight, was to get away from the chaos for a few hours with my friends and fellow writers, but I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that the subject arose. The tragedy saddened the entire nation and we can do nothing but express bafflement at what happened.
    I understand that our views differ on firearms and I do respect your views. I understand you did not mean to offend me with your statement about the possibility of my needing an intervention or that you were worried about me, but to be quite honest with you I was a bit offended. I find the events of last Monday to be horrific, sad, and devastating and I felt as though I was being compared to the killer because of my interests. I hope you can understand how it may have seemed that way to me in light of the recent events.
    As a gun advocate I am for people and their interests in firearms, but more importantly I am for the safe, legal, and beneficial use of those firearms. I find that in light of recent events myself, and those I know with similar interests, have found themselves under a litany of thoughtless, rude, and downright cruel remarks. People have lashed out in their frustrations and not understood that the words they say can and do hurt people that they never expected or wanted to hurt.
    None of us (not me, you, or anyone I could even hope to know) would ever want something like this to happen and when it does it breaks all of our hearts, no matter how such crimes are committed.
    Again, I understand that you did not mean to offend me. I also greatly debated whether I should send this email or not because I do not want to offend you either. I find I have a number of things in common with you and I enjoy both your personality and your interests. I also consider you a friend and have greatly appreciated the great advice and even kindness that you have extended to me since I joined the group.
    Please understand that I am not angry nor do I think of you any differently. My intent in this email is to express that I feel no different than anyone else in that I think something was horribly wrong and someone, somewhere, dropped the ball. I don't know what could have been done to prevent the event from happening, but I'm no less sensitive to it. I wanted to be sure that you don't think, even for a moment, that there's even the slightest possibility that such a thing would ever cross my mind. Even thinking of thinking about it makes me ill, and I would hope, pray and plead that nothing I have done or said has made you think I am even remotely capable of such a thing.

    Perhaps I've been a little sensitive (which is usually not me) but I think the whole nation is a little sensitive right now.

    I didn't want to say anything at the time because I wasn't quite sure what to say, and to be honest, I was taken back by the statement. I do hope you understand.

    Again, I'm sorry the subject had to come up at all.
    So there it is.

  11. #10
    Distinguished Member Array SonofASniper's Avatar
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    This is one of those times that you should use political correctness back at her.

    In other words, your note to her should not only express her insensitivity and damage to your friendship that she caused, but you should also demand a public apology for her poor behavior to the entire group.

    If she refuses to do so, then you should be prepared to address the entire group, with her present, and state that you will no longer participate with them. Cite your reasoning as being based on her poor manners, the groups condoning of her behavior, the groups insensitvity to such a tragic accident, and the very apparent discremination against a law abiding female who has made the choice to legally defend herself as well as others.

    That is absolute political correctness working in your favor and it will be a slap in the face to the anti's in your group.
    I will support gun control when you can guarantee all guns are removed from this planet. That includes military and law enforcement. When you can accomplish that, then I will be the last person to lay down my gun. Then I will carry the weapon that replaces the gun.

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    Thumbs up

    I hear you limatunes. I understand every thought that you have so eloquently put forth. I just starting painting again and I paint with one group of very nice folks who are obviously incredibly anti-gun.
    They are not so much radically "anti" but, they see no real need for them to even consider owning a firearm for personal protection.
    In their incredibly sheltered little fantasy world that they have cocooned themselves in there is no room for thoughts of firearms.
    They rely on LUCK and love for their fellow man to delude themselves into thinking that they are safe. That would be if they ever think such thoughts at all.
    Seriously I don't think that they even think about the fact that someday "push may come to shove" and they may somehow need to defend themselves against a real life threat.
    They do not even consider self-defense as a realistic option toward not becoming a potential prematurely deceased person.
    There is no hope that they will ever change or alter that point of view.
    A couple of them know that I carry and do not seem to be troubled by the fact that I do. To them that is something for somebody "like me" to do but, is simultaneously something that they would never consider doing for themselves.
    They are content with continuing to believe that nothing bad will ever happen to them so WHY prepare for something that only happens to other people? I don't quite understand how they think and the feeling is (I'm Sure) mutual.
    I honestly, truly believe that a certain portion of the population are incapable of ever considering doing ANYTHING positive to insure their own personal protection.
    It is not part of their mental make-up or their upbringing.
    It's pathetic and sad actually because they are basically good, decent people. They just must not believe that they are worth saving as individuals. They are hapless, helpless, perma-victims.
    Possibly if things ever became like Israel here in the United States they might...I say MIGHT - reconsider their way of thinking. I doubt it but, it's possible.
    People in general...who can figure them all out? Not me. I've pretty much quit trying. I used to assume that everybody that I considered to be decently "normal" in this world thought basically the same way I do. For sure I've learned a long time ago that is not true. People are strange animals and many are incredibly warped in multitudes of different ways. That is one of the reasons why I feel that I've found such a great home here on CombatCarry.
    I may not agree with everybody on all issues but, at least I feel like I am pretty much surrounded by my kind of people.
    If a member here decides that they don't want to carry cocked and locked...OR...they think a .25 auto is OK for their personal defense...heck I might not AGREE...but, at least I'm in disagreement over something among my own kind of people.
    With a few rare exceptions I share much with many here.
    Liberty Over Tyranny Μολὼν λαβέ

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    Quote Originally Posted by SonofASniper View Post
    This is one of those times that you should use political correctness back at her.

    In other words, your note to her should not only express her insensitivity and damage to your friendship that she caused, but you should also demand a public apology for her poor behavior to the entire group.

    If she refuses to do so, then you should be prepared to address the entire group, with her present, and state that you will no longer participate with them. Cite your reasoning as being based on her poor manners, the groups condoning of her behavior, the groups insensitvity to such a tragic accident, and the very apparent discremination against a law abiding female who has made the choice to legally defend herself as well as others.

    That is absolute political correctness working in your favor and it will be a slap in the face to the anti's in your group.
    Unfortunately, in this case, if you get down in the dirt with the hogs you get as dirty as they do. I want to handle this better than ANY of them would have thought to handle it.

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    Senior Member Array Shadowsbane's Avatar
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    Sorry you have to go through that. Happens to me where I work sometimes
    But perhaps it will help to think that maybe your knowledge/assertivness may strike some cord with those that treated you as such and like all bullies there were lashing out to try to compensate for their feelings of helplessness that they most likely feel.
    Nice letter btw much kinder than I would be. So good jorb with the High Road approach.
    Now, we must all fear evil men. But there is another kind of evil which we must fear most, and that is the indifference of good men.

    www.Lonelymountainleather.com

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    Distinguished Member Array SonofASniper's Avatar
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    I just read your preliminary email, and I have to say I think you are going at it wrong.

    She did mean to offend you. If she hadn't she would not have made that remark.

    She was very insensitive to a sad and tragic event that has hurt this nation.

    Her comments are inexcusable.

    I could go on all night. Do what you want, but I think you are being too nice and taking too much blame on yourself. I got the feeling that you were almost apolagizing for exercising your 2A right, and you should never have to apolagize for wanting to protect yourself.

    In a lot of ways, I think too often we get caught up in trying to be like saints and being too humble when uncomfortable situations like this come up. The fact of the matter is, you should look at this person, who blatantly insulted you, and say directly "I will never apolagize or feel ashamed for making the legal choice to defend myself from violent criminals like Mr. Cho with deadly force. I am sorry that you have a problem with me being safe in a deadly world."

    Only my opinion.
    I will support gun control when you can guarantee all guns are removed from this planet. That includes military and law enforcement. When you can accomplish that, then I will be the last person to lay down my gun. Then I will carry the weapon that replaces the gun.

  16. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by QKShooter View Post
    I hear you limatunes. I understand every thought that you have so eloquently put forth. I just starting painting again and I paint with one group of very nice folks who are obviously incredibly anti-gun.
    They are not so much radically "anti" but, they see no real need for them to even consider owning a firearm for personal protection.
    In their incredibly sheltered little fantasy world that they have cocooned themselves in there is no room for thoughts of firearms.
    They rely on LUCK and love for their fellow man to delude themselves into thinking that they are safe. That would be if they ever think such thoughts at all.
    Seriously I don't think that they even think about the fact that someday "push may come to shove" and they may somehow need to defend themselves against a real life threat.
    They do not even consider self-defense as a realistic option toward not becoming a potential prematurely deceased person.
    There is no hope that they will ever change or alter that point of view.
    A couple of them know that I carry and do not seem to be troubled by the fact that I do. To them that is something for somebody "like me" to do but, is simultaneously something that they would never consider doing for themselves.
    They are content with continuing to believe that nothing bad will ever happen to them so WHY prepare for something that only happens to other people? I don't quite understand how they think and the feeling is (I'm Sure) mutual.
    I honestly, truly believe that a certain portion of the population are incapable of ever considering doing ANYTHING positive to insure their own personal protection.
    It is not part of their mental make-up or their upbringing.
    It's pathetic and sad actually because they are basically good, decent people. They just must not believe that they are worth saving as individuals. They are hapless, helpless, perma-victims.
    Possibly if things ever became like Israel here in the United States they might...I say MIGHT - reconsider their way of thinking. I doubt it but, it's possible.
    People in general...who can figure them all out? Not me. I've pretty much quit trying. I used to assume that everybody that I considered to be decently "normal" in this world thought basically the same way I do. For sure I've learned a long time ago that is not true. People are strange animals and many are incredibly warped in multitudes of different ways. That is one of the reasons why I feel that I've found such a great home here on CombatCarry.
    I may not agree with everybody on all issues but, at least I feel like I am pretty much surrounded by my kind of people.
    If a member here decides that they don't want to carry cocked and locked...OR...they think a .25 auto is OK for their personal defense...heck I might not AGREE...but, at least I'm in disagreement over something among my own kind of people.
    With a few rare exceptions I share much with many here.
    QK, You mirrored my thoughts. These people are not BAD people. In fact they are good, family-loving people who just want themselves and their families to be safe but without having to worry about ANYONE coming in and doing them harm. They want Utopia but they don't realize that the state of safety they want may come with the price tag of blood.

    No matter how offensive I found her words to be, I KNOW she did not mean them. She just didn't think about what she was saying.

    I have always hoped that one day some people would see my example and my reason and would "get it." I keep learning over and over and over again that THAT is an unobtainable Utopia all to itself.

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