Carpool dilemma

This is a discussion on Carpool dilemma within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Well, I live ~80 miles from where I work. Three of us carpool most days. One is a young girl ~25 (my wife just LOVES ...

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Thread: Carpool dilemma

  1. #1
    Member Array fishmaycraft's Avatar
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    Carpool dilemma

    Well, I live ~80 miles from where I work. Three of us carpool most days. One is a young girl ~25 (my wife just LOVES that), and the other is a Canadian ~50. Well the other day we somehow got on the discussion of handguns and the guy starts in on this why do you need them etc. etc. thing. We ended the discussion agreeing to disagree, however he basically said he wanted no guns in his vehicle and he is VERY uncomfortable riding in my car if I have one in there.
    Now to the decision, do I continue to carry and hope he doesn't notice (although I'm sure he'll be looking for it now), or only carry while in my car and the lady's (she doesn't mind a bit, actually asked about me teaching her to shoot - bet the wife would love that too!)

    I'm leaning toward not carrying in his car, it is his property and I feel I should respect his wishes. I would still carry in mine and hers, I guess if he doesn't like it he can drive separate those days. Any advice?

    FMC

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    Sounds like you have a plan already. Maybe try to slowly convert him to an atleast neutral outlook about guns.
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    I'm leaning toward not carrying in his car, it is his property and I feel I should respect his wishes. I would still carry in mine and hers, I guess if he doesn't like it he can drive separate those days.
    I think that may have to be the solution - altho it seems a great shame someone is so paranoid about guns that he can't even face one in his car But - yes I guess respect his wishes or - drive yourself that week!

    It would then of course seem totally fair to carry in the young lady's car, and yours naturally - and if he objects then well ...... he has a clear option

    Sad so many folks have this ''thing'' about guns .... makes me want to ask them firstly whether they trust me personally, in which case if yes .... "trust me, trust my gun" - otherwise their declared trust for you must be misplaced if the gun is treated as bad. Secondly - let them stand and watch a loaded gun on a table and ask them to let you know when it goes bang
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    Who cares what the Canadian thinks! J/K...

    This just gives you a good excuse to purchase a deep cover pistol... and you wife will love that too.
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    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fishmaycraft View Post
    I'm leaning toward not carrying in his car, it is his property and I feel I should respect his wishes.
    That's what's fair. It's his property, and his rights in question. You don't need to be in that car (aka, his "house", so his rules). You're free to carry while in his car, just not if he asks you to leave.

    If you don't mind him knowing you carry, and by extension anyone/everyone else he'll tell at some point, then you might consider having a discussion with him about the fact that you carry, and why. If you respect his intelligence and he's a friend, he might well see your side of it. He might not like it, but allow you to carry in his car. IMO, it's gross misunderstanding that keeps people from seeing the other side, not any flaw in the rationale.

    The other way to go would be to find another to carpool with.
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    Talking One persons irrational fear putting three people in jeopardy.

    If he is that afraid of a concealed weapon, then thats his choice to be a sheep in a world of meat eaters. I would carry until he tells me no. It's his choice not to ride with you, but your choice to let him disarm you. Concealed is concealed. If just you and the young lady ride together, your cost goes up only by 16.5% each. But he riding by himself because of his phobia, his cost goes up 300%. Will you let him disarm you to save 16.5% cost increase, will he let his phobia cost him 300%. I carry concealed to protect my life and others, not to save money. Another thing, by continuing to ride with him, he can learn he has nothing to worry about from a legally concealed weapon. Perhaps you'll invite him to go shooting at your home range sometime and even maybe convert him to the side of goodness and light. Good luck and what ever you do, do not disarm!
    Last edited by Stormtruck2; May 17th, 2007 at 10:15 PM. Reason: bad keyboard that can't spell
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    Lew
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    People actually car pool? You would not know it looking at all the solo cars cloging up the highways!

    Find a replacement for the anti...
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    You have learned a valuable lesson. Do not engage in conversations about firearms unless you know the positions of the others in the discussion and are willing to accept the consequences of said conversation.

    Now learn another lesson, when he says he wants no firearms in his car you really do not have a legitimate choice of what to do. If you ride in his car and carry you are in violation of his wishes and in most states guilty of criminal trespass. If he decides to he could pull into a police station and accuse you of that or to make matters worse he could pull in and accuse you of trying to carjack him. The other consideration is what kind of message do you send him about people who carry concealed weapons if you do not abide by his wishes? You have confirmed his prejudice and that is a wrong move. Disarm while in his car, carry the other times.
    George

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    Senior Member Array Timmy Jimmy's Avatar
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    There is no dilemma at all, you have 160 miles a day to travel and I would not disarm for anyone (other than a police officer). I would explain to him that you have been riding in his car for however long you have been doing it and he did not even know you had the gun on you, and hopefully no one will ever have to know you are carrying but if he refuses to give you and your gun a ride to work you will find another carpool or drive yourself daily. Explain that your life is worth much more than the gas money and his should be also.
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    Member Array Protect's Avatar
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    Do you work together?
    Is it ok with your company that you carry at work? If not he could make things very unpleasant.

    I'd find another carpool partner.

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    Member Array fishmaycraft's Avatar
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    Yes, we work together, and he is one notch above me in the totem pole, but I do not report to him. He is a very nice guy, just anti-gun. I do find it amusing that he is taking Taekwondo (sp?) so violence isn't a problem, just guns
    We do have a no weapons policy at work, but it has never been enforced, it is just kinda understood that some folks might have them.

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    I make a point of never mentioning my firearms interests to co-workers. It keeps things a lot simpler, and me a lot safer.
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    Bottom line, I'd respect his wishes. Its HIS car and you have the choice of riding it it or not. I'd do whatever it takes not have to ride with him. Hopefully you can do it without making enemies.

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    Senior Member Array cagueits's Avatar
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    New car pool partner pronto.

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    Take him to your range and give him the opportunity to shoot a gun. It may not work, but it might give him another point of view to consider.

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