Friends Get Bold With You Carrying?

This is a discussion on Friends Get Bold With You Carrying? within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Take it from a guy who has learned the value of what true friends are. These guys are not real friends. Real friends are extremely ...

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Thread: Friends Get Bold With You Carrying?

  1. #46
    VIP Member Array ELCruisr's Avatar
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    Take it from a guy who has learned the value of what true friends are. These guys are not real friends. Real friends are extremely rare. They would never, ever, put you in a position like that. They would keep their mouth shut about you carrying and would never put you in a position to use it. They would also watch your back as you watched theirs. In my whole life I can count the number of true friends I've had on the fingers of one hand.....

    I've had many people who liked to call me their friend but who, in my book, were merely aquaintences or fair weather companions.
    If you stand up and be counted, from time to time you may get yourself knocked down. But remember this: A man flattened by an opponent can get up again. A man flattened by conformity stays down for good. ~ Thomas J. Watson, Jr.

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  3. #47
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    Array MattInFla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by L2TYPE View Post
    I don't know if you can call this a dilemma or not. But now that I am carrying friends around me have become more bold while we are out.

    Example, in a restaurant and someone at another table is being rude, obnoxious and just plain out right being an . Friend turns and tells them to knock it off and shut the ****up. They turn back to the table and exclaim "I am not to worried because so and so is carrying right now."
    This is exactly the sort of scenario that gets people locked up. If something develops from a conflict your companions initiated, then escalates into a lethal force encounter you could easily find yourself charged.

    Because in that event, you might not be seen as the victim of a sudden, unexpected attack, but rather could be viewed as part of a voluntary conflict and escalation.

    Depending on your local laws - and the proclivities of the DA - this could very well be the difference between a justified shooting and a prison term.

    Quote Originally Posted by L2TYPE View Post
    I have tried telling them that I am not carrying for them to be "big men" nor do I answer the question when they ask if I am CCing or not. They know I know the laws of my state and they also know that I know if my handgun can be drawn or not in a situation. But in the instance of the restaurant, if that guy came over and tried to start something, I would just sit there and enjoy the fact that my buddy will probably get his butt kicked for being a smart a$$. (Hey, a few punches never hurt to learn a lesson )

    I think it has just come down to "We can be bad a$$es because our number 5 buddy in our group has a gun." I have been friends with these guys for over 8 years now, so finding new friends is not really an answer. I am assuming this is just going to be a phase that they will soon pass through. Otherwise, I might need to step it up and become a **** to them about my carrying.

    Did anyone else go through this with friends? I know a good portion of people carrying have a gap between my age and theirs but we all started somewhere.

    P.S. Not a new member, just said buddies periodically come on here and trying to have this resolved silently before I bring it to them. Need more ammo for my argument I guess you could say.

    Stay Safe
    I think you are on the right path here, and hopefully your buddies will get it.

    I'll leave you with the words passed down by my CWFL instructor at the end of class.

    When carrying a firearm:
    • Don't go to stupid places
    • Don't do stupid things
    • Don't hang out with stupid people


    Good luck!

    Matt
    Battle Plan (n) - a list of things that aren't going to happen if you are attacked.
    Blame it on Sixto - now that is a viable plan.

  4. #48
    Member Array stoneypete's Avatar
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    These are not friends. Friends do not put your life in danger. If you've told them to cut it out and they won't, walk away. They were never your friends in the first place.

    Concealed carry means concealed. No-one should know.
    'The assailant chooses the time, location and method of attack.

    Since they are unlikely to let you know ahead of time when, where and how violent they're going to be, you should always be prepared.' - matiki

  5. #49
    Member Array CraigJS's Avatar
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    If their mouth gets them into trouble, let their body get them out of trouble! And tell them so.. If they don't understand, get smarter friends. Your 8 year friendship could get you killed, or in jail for much longer then 8 years!
    Take care of number one (you), NO one else will.
    Be safe.

  6. #50
    VIP Member Array maclean3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by L2TYPE View Post
    Well the secret went down the drain when my parents asked them if they minded me carrying a gun everywhere they went.
    Well, it sounds like you need to have a long talk with your parents too. Make it a point to tell them just how much trouble they've caused you as well as the potential liability. In other words ... it's none of their business or anyone else's when or if you're carrying and you need to make sure they understand that in the strongest possible terms.
    Jack

  7. #51
    Member Array sevesteen's Avatar
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    It sounds like you've taken my first step, explaining the error of their ways in private. I'd make sure that they understood that carrying often means you have to swallow your pride and walk away, and that's what you'll do next time if they start stuff.

    If it does happen again, say something like "You're on your own, I'll be back in a few minutes". Say it loud enough so whoever they are mouthing off to can hear, then go to the john or something.

  8. #52
    Distinguished Member Array Anubis's Avatar
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    Disregarding the question of friends, or even of carrying, I see a possibly more fundamental problem in the situation described in the original post.

    I have always made it a point to avoid places where confrontations are likely, and to leave such places if I think such a situation is suddenly likely.
    Last edited by Anubis; May 20th, 2007 at 11:19 AM.

  9. #53
    Member Array Realleycat's Avatar
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    After re-reading his original post and his only comment on it, I wonder if this guy is just trolling???
    Tony

  10. #54
    Member Array Passa Fist's Avatar
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    Most friends don't know I carry (again, that's why it's called conceal carry) and the ones who bump their gums like the one in the original post fell off the friends list long ago. (They'd probably get you into trouble whether you carried or not.)
    John 15:13 - Greater love have no man, than he who is willing to lay down his life for a friend. (Let's just pray we BOTH come out alive)

    If the guns kill then pencils misspell words!

  11. #55
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Realleycat View Post
    After re-reading his original post and his only comment on it, I wonder if this guy is just trolling???
    Either way, the discussion has created a good list of reasons for why concealed means concealed, and the risks of "friends" who would put their own in harms way to suit their own fanciful notion of their compatriots' invincibility. Thinking such things through is a good thing, no matter how it starts.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
    NRA, GOA, OFF, ACLDN.

  12. #56
    Senior Member Array Sergeant Mac's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ExSoldier View Post
    That's pretty much why cops usually only hang out off duty with other cops and THAT is one sick subculture of paranoia and hostility.
    If you stare into the abyss long enough......

  13. #57
    New Member Array L2TYPE's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Realleycat View Post
    After re-reading his original post and his only comment on it, I wonder if this guy is just trolling???
    No Troll here.




    Quote Originally Posted by Anubis View Post
    Disregarding the question of friends, or even of carrying, I see a possibly more fundamental problem in the situation described in the original post.

    I have always made it a point to avoid places where confrontations are likely, and to leave such places if I think such a situation is suddenly likely.

    We were eating in a restaurant. I open carried into the place because of the fact they serve alcohol. Just the guys being loud were at the bar within the restaurant. I have eaten at this place at least 100 times, one of my buddies is a server there and I have never had any issues with them. I think we came on the wrong night but turned out to be an eye opener for me.


    Any way, heres the update.

    Sat everyone down last night before heading out to the bar. Means I am not carrying But they do not know that. Made it loud and clear to them that if they persist with their actions of being obnoxious and egging on people I will no longer hang out with them. My carry is not there for their abuse to be a hard***.

    Reality check, the one who had the biggest issue immediately spoke up and made note that he was sorry for what he was doing will cease and desist. They all noted that they would be pretty blown if I stopped hanging out with them. One of the guys actually brought up a past event about something we did and ended it with "I don't think that day would have been as fun if you were not there. Just like most of the days. I would be pretty bored if you were no longer around." I then received apologies all the way from the house to the bar.


    At the end of the day, no one pulled any stupid stunt and life is back to normal. Now we just wait and see how long they keep to their promise.

    They do however know that I will walk away. As I have before when a buddies cousin visited for a few days and the guy was nothing but trouble. I attempted to go out and eat with them once and I could not deal with it. I did my own thing for the rest of the week until he left.

    Stay Safe

  14. #58
    Member Array Son Of Vlad Tepes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ELCruisr View Post
    Take it from a guy who has learned the value of what true friends are. These guys are not real friends. Real friends are extremely rare. They would never, ever, put you in a position like that. They would keep their mouth shut about you carrying and would never put you in a position to use it. They would also watch your back as you watched theirs. In my whole life I can count the number of true friends I've had on the fingers of one hand.....

    I've had many people who liked to call me their friend but who, in my book, were merely aquaintences or fair weather companions.
    Extremely well put.

    You should seriously reconsider why you are calling these fools (sorry, but it is true) your friends. Their idiotic and reckless behavior is putting all of your safeties in danger.


    A few select people know that I have a CCW, but I never tell anyone that I am carrying while out with them, not even to my good friends. And they have enough tact and sense not to ask if I am carrying or not. The issue is just not discussed. They know I "might" be carrying but thus far none have interrogated me on whether or not I'm carrying for real, and I don't volunteer the info. If I was asked about it by a very close friend I'd probably just say something non-committal like "maybe, or maybe not", or I'd outright lie and say "no"; I'd certainly say "no" if anybody other than a very close friend asked. If I'm carrying concealed is nobody's business but my own, the way I see it.


    oops looks like I posted before reading the last update...errr nevermind!

  15. #59
    VIP Member Array ExSoldier's Avatar
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    Wink If you look away from the abyss, you can FIND the LIGHT....

    Quote Originally Posted by Sergeant Mac View Post
    If you stare into the abyss long enough......
    That is exactly why they have (as a group) among the highest rates for suicide, divorce and alcohol abuse. They need help as a group. They also need to tell their families a little bit about what happens at work. Most cops want to leave the job down in the gutters where they have to deal with it, but that's no help to a desperate spouse who really loves the big lunk and wants to help only to sit by and be helpless as he changes into this hardened shell. Builds a huge wall emotionally. Whispering You wouldn't understand when pressed and retreating deeper inside his own pain. I am so GLAD and so BLESSED that I got out when I did.
    Former Army Infantry Captain; 25 yrs as an NRA Certified Instructor; Avid practitioner of the martial art: KLIK-PAO.

  16. #60
    Ex Member Array Pete's Avatar
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    The very first time that it happened I would walk out of the room and ignore the cellphone calls from those guys for a day or two.
    Then when I had cooled down I would explain that I don't behave like an idiot so it's difficult for me to be represented as one.
    If anyone gets their feelings hurt then it is their problem.
    Friends change as we all grow up, sometimes we grow closer, sometimes we grow apart. In this case I would encourage them to grow up or forget that I exist.

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