Friends Get Bold With You Carrying?

This is a discussion on Friends Get Bold With You Carrying? within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; I don't know if you can call this a dilemma or not. But now that I am carrying friends around me have become more bold ...

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Thread: Friends Get Bold With You Carrying?

  1. #1
    New Member Array L2TYPE's Avatar
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    Friends Get Bold With You Carrying?

    I don't know if you can call this a dilemma or not. But now that I am carrying friends around me have become more bold while we are out.

    Example, in a restaurant and someone at another table is being rude, obnoxious and just plain out right being an . Friend turns and tells them to knock it off and shut the ****up. They turn back to the table and exclaim "I am not to worried because so and so is carrying right now."


    I have tried telling them that I am not carrying for them to be "big men" nor do I answer the question when they ask if I am CCing or not. They know I know the laws of my state and they also know that I know if my handgun can be drawn or not in a situation. But in the instance of the restaurant, if that guy came over and tried to start something, I would just sit there and enjoy the fact that my buddy will probably get his butt kicked for being a smart a$$. (Hey, a few punches never hurt to learn a lesson )

    I think it has just come down to "We can be bad a$$es because our number 5 buddy in our group has a gun." I have been friends with these guys for over 8 years now, so finding new friends is not really an answer. I am assuming this is just going to be a phase that they will soon pass through. Otherwise, I might need to step it up and become a **** to them about my carrying.

    Did anyone else go through this with friends? I know a good portion of people carrying have a gap between my age and theirs but we all started somewhere.

    P.S. Not a new member, just said buddies periodically come on here and trying to have this resolved silently before I bring it to them. Need more ammo for my argument I guess you could say.

    Stay Safe

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  3. #2
    Senior Member Array raysheen's Avatar
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    I think you have to have a serious sit down talk with your friends. Explain to them how dangerous both physically and legally it is for them to be doing what they are doing and I'm sure they will stop if they are good friends. It doesn't have to be a long talk, but make sure they know you are very serious. Simply, tell them that what they are doing is not ok with you and it should end right there. But have that talk sooner rather than later...don't wait for it to happen again. Talk with them soon.

  4. #3
    VIP Member Array aus71383's Avatar
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    If it was me, I would tell them that if they are going to act like that and be stupid when we're out in public together, then I just won't go anywhere with them.
    You can still have them over to your house, and go to theirs, but if they can't be trusted (after 8 years) to act like grown men in public then they are a liability - more trouble than they're worth. Posturing and acting tough is something monkeys do - we are humans.

  5. #4
    VIP Member Array peacefuljeffrey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by L2TYPE View Post
    I have been friends with these guys for over 8 years now, so finding new friends is not really an answer.
    I'll try to say what I have to say objectively, and not be harsh.


    - Your friends should never have been told that you carry. That's supposed to be YOUR secret. I hope you will use that as a policy in the future. You obviously see what happens when the knowledge is given out indiscriminately and some people are not mature enough to handle it.

    - Your "friends" put you in jeopardy -- both physical and legal/financial. You say that finding new friends is not really an answer. Okay, fine, then you must accept the fact that if they continue to do this, your insistence on keeping them as friends could cost you the taking of a life, and possibly a prison sentence. These friends are that worthy?

    Me, I would tell them what was wrong with their behavior, and insist that if it is ever repeated again, it will be the last contact we ever have together. That's if I was feeling kind. If I wasn't, I'd just drop them right now. I'd rather be totally without friends than have friends who could cost me like yours could cost you.

    What your friend did was actually "assault," I think.

  6. #5
    VIP Member Array SIGguy229's Avatar
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    Find different friends...or tell them that if they start something, they are the ones who are going to finish it--because you are leaving.

    You need to stay away from people who are using you as their backup when your friends are the ones provoking the problem. Find some other way to resolve a problem--picking a fight is NOT the solution.

  7. #6
    Distinguished Member Array fotomaker57's Avatar
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    peacefuljeffrey gave you some wonderful advise. You would do well to listen.
    Mike
    The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government.
    Thomas Jefferson

  8. #7
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    It is unacceptable. I have people I've been friends with for 15 years, and I would quit hanging out with them in a second if they did that. It was cool to act like that when we were 16, it isn't now.

    If you insist on hanging out with them you need to understand that sooner or later they're going to run their mouths at the wrong person and they'll pay the price. You have a choice to make, I'd suggest helping that person beat the snot out of them.
    "The only people I like besides my wife and children are Marines."
    - Lt. Col. Oliver North

  9. #8
    Member Array ebk637's Avatar
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    casually tell them that you decided not to carry when you are with them because of some of the things that have happened.
    let them ask you what that is and then simply explain your situation to them without degrading them or talking down to them and see how they react. then they should realize that their behavior could get you a prison sentence or make you broke or worse yet,BOTH!
    if they dont seem to care than maybe you would be better off without them anyway.

  10. #9
    VIP Member Array Spirit51's Avatar
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    Peaceful Jeffery is right. It should be your secret. Only my husband and my adult daughter know for sure...and because my purse has weight now that is deceptive. But...the cat's out of the bag...now it is time to take your friends to "school". You have to explain to them why you carry concealed and it is not to be a big man or start fights. Let them know the legal responsibility you have. Your CCW is not a permit to allow you to start fights or settle theirs. Let them know that you have a duty to walk away when someone might call you a A hole or the like (please excuse my "french"). If you don't and it grows to a matter of using your firearm...it is a tough one to fight in a court of law. Will they find a lawyer for you and pay any legal and civil fines or settlements?? Set them down at your house....try to make it pleasent and informative for them. If they continue you have two choices....leave your weapon at home OR don't hang with these guys...and let them know THAT and why. Now, don't be quick to give up your secret again. Keep it as dear as you keep your freedom. Good luck...as I hope it works out for you and your friends.
    A woman must not depend on protection by men. A woman must learn to protect herself.
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    A armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one has to back it up with his life.
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  11. #10
    VIP Member Array cphilip's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ebk637 View Post
    casually tell them that you decided not to carry when you are with them because of some of the things that have happened.
    let them ask you what that is and then simply explain your situation to them without degrading them or talking down to them and see how they react. then they should realize that their behavior could get you a prison sentence or make you broke or worse yet,BOTH!
    if they dont seem to care than maybe you would be better off without them anyway.
    Ditto.... plus one.

    Dangerous thinking your friends have. Not your friends if they do that...

  12. #11
    Senior Member Array Rugerman's Avatar
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    None of my friends ever know that I am carrying. I never even tell anyone that I have a permit to carry. Being in California they wouldn't understand anyway. This is my business and noone elses. I do not carry to be cool or billy bad @--. You are carrying because it is your right as an american and nobody needs to be concerned with that but me.
    George Washington: "A free people ought to be armed."

  13. #12
    Member Array AirMech74's Avatar
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    I told a few of my buddys that when we hang out, don't ask me if i'm carrying, and don't act like an if they think i'm carrying...It caught them by surprise by just how serious I was, i'm usually the funny guy in the group or at work, so they understood, and not once have they asked if i'm carrying during get togethers, and they act like adults.
    Better to be tried by 12, than carried by 6

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  14. #13
    Ex Member Array azchevy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by L2TYPE View Post
    I don't know if you can call this a dilemma or not. But now that I am carrying friends around me have become more bold while we are out.

    Example, in a restaurant and someone at another table is being rude, obnoxious and just plain out right being an . Friend turns and tells them to knock it off and shut the ****up. They turn back to the table and exclaim "I am not to worried because so and so is carrying right now."


    I have tried telling them that I am not carrying for them to be "big men" nor do I answer the question when they ask if I am CCing or not. They know I know the laws of my state and they also know that I know if my handgun can be drawn or not in a situation. But in the instance of the restaurant, if that guy came over and tried to start something, I would just sit there and enjoy the fact that my buddy will probably get his butt kicked for being a smart a$$. (Hey, a few punches never hurt to learn a lesson )

    I think it has just come down to "We can be bad a$$es because our number 5 buddy in our group has a gun." I have been friends with these guys for over 8 years now, so finding new friends is not really an answer. I am assuming this is just going to be a phase that they will soon pass through. Otherwise, I might need to step it up and become a **** to them about my carrying.

    Did anyone else go through this with friends? I know a good portion of people carrying have a gap between my age and theirs but we all started somewhere.

    P.S. Not a new member, just said buddies periodically come on here and trying to have this resolved silently before I bring it to them. Need more ammo for my argument I guess you could say.

    Stay Safe

    Time to get new friends

  15. #14
    VIP Member Array JimmyC4's Avatar
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    The advice above is sound...in the long run, however, you may need to seek more mature friends.
    "It's a big gun when I carry it, it is also a big gun when I take it out” – Clint Smith

  16. #15
    Member Array Realleycat's Avatar
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    Well L2TYPE,
    You can see that you aren't getting any sympathy from anyone here. I question your motives about telling your friends when and if you carry??? I'm sure that you did not do the right thing by that letting them know!!!
    Tony

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