What's going on in Kansas?

This is a discussion on What's going on in Kansas? within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Originally Posted by incredipete Kansas is a great place to live, but you wouldn't want to vacation here. LOL. How true. Reminded me of an ...

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Thread: What's going on in Kansas?

  1. #46
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    Array Rock and Glock's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by incredipete View Post
    Kansas is a great place to live, but you wouldn't want to vacation here.
    LOL. How true. Reminded me of an old joke that, as a native Kansan, I really enjoyed:


    Welcome to Kansas

    This list will be handed to each person as they enter the state.

    1. That slope-shouldered farm boy did more work before breakfast than you'll do all week at the gym. How'd you like to go home and tell your momma you got your butt kicked by a big guy in bib overalls?

    2. It's called a 'gravel road.' No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your BMW. I have a four wheel drive because I need it. Drive it or get it out of the way.

    3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were four years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.

    4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get your butt kicked... by our women.

    5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little 13-inch trout you fish for.............bait.

    6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

    7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

    8. That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you paid in the airport.

    9. The Jayhawks and the Wildcats are as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks... and a dang sight more fun to watch.

    10. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.

    11. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.

    12. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar combines that we use two weeks a year.

    13. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.

    14. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks because they want to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.

    15. Yeah, we eat catfish, carp too-and turtle. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.

    16. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? Interstate 70 goes two ways-35 goes the other two. Pick one.

    17. The "Opener" refers to the first day of pheasant season. It's a religious holiday held the second Saturday in November. You can get breakfast at the church.

    18. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Understand the concept?

    19. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It spooks the fish.

    20. Yeah we shoot doves...even though they are song birds... but we don't hit very many so we don't feel bad about that either...

    Now, enjoy your visit and then go home.
    Richard

    NRA Life Member

    "But if they don't exist, how can a man see them?"

    "You may think I'm pompous, but actually I'm pedantic... let me explain the difference."

    "Carry the battle to them. Don't let them bring it to you. Put them on the defensive and don't ever apologize for anything."

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  3. #47
    Senior Member Array Smith&Wessonfan's Avatar
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    My daughter is a native Wichitan, born in Via Christi (The Way of Christ, love that name) hospital.

    For all its problems, Wichita is a damned nice place to live. I ain't cut out for the country life, but HUGE megalopolis are definitely out too.

    Wichita's just right, particulary the east side. I used to dig jazz nights at Bradley Fair.

    BTW, I'm also a WSU alumni: Graduate Business School class of 2000.

  4. #48
    Member Array freetrapper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smith&Wessonfan View Post
    My daughter is a native Wichitan, born in Via Christi (The Way of Christ, love that name) hospital.

    For all its problems, Wichita is a damned nice place to live. I ain't cut out for the country life, but HUGE megalopolis are definitely out too.

    Wichita's just right, particulary the east side. I used to dig jazz nights at Bradley Fair.

    BTW, I'm also a WSU alumni: Graduate Business School class of 2000.
    There were five of us boys born and raised up here in North East Kansas. One of my brothers found his way to Wichita and loves it down there. He is still a Hunten, Fishen country boy but just likes a few of the city niceties. We find our way down to visit alot and like any bigger town if you know where to stay away from its a nice place.
    Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not."

    ~ Thomas Jefferson

  5. #49
    Member Array Cusmar's Avatar
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    I've lived all my life in Kansas except while serving in the military. I've been around the world and seen many places but Kansas is home. I love the city amenities but nothing melts away the stress of the day like a drive/ride through the flint hills or the high plains.
    "Use enough gun." - Robert Ruark

  6. #50
    Senior Member Array incredipete's Avatar
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    I used to visit Wichita occasionally until a recent business trip where I drove. It was the middle of the night, I was on the turnpike... which basically has no exits and is designed like a cattle chute... and there was a cloudburst. I truly feared for my life as the water on the highway got to be 6 or 8 inches deep. I'll never drive that turnpike again.
    Gun Control means never having to say "I missed you."

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  7. #51
    Member Array KsPete's Avatar
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    IIRC, a few years back several people lost their lives when they were swept off the turnpike by rushing water during a severe rain storm. This happened north of Wichita.

  8. #52
    Senior Member Array Chuck R.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by incredipete View Post
    I love to visit the ocean, but I don't want to live there. The concentration of liberals would make it difficult for me to breathe.
    Yup, born and raised in a place called "Watch Hill" Rhode Island, on the ocean. Grew up catching blue shell crabs and mackerel off our dock, spent my summers diving and fishing.

    I miss the ocean once and awhile, but then Iíll go back to visit friends and get some coastal duck hunting in, and the large percentage of idiots and overall crowding makes me happy Iím here.

    Chuck
    homo homini lupus est

  9. #53
    Senior Member Array Smith&Wessonfan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by freetrapper View Post
    He is still a Hunten, Fishen country boy but just likes a few of the city niceties.
    Same here. I got my duck hunting fever from a Kansas country boy co-worker at Raytheon.

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