What motivates women?
This is a discussion on What motivates women? within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Has anyone here been able to pro-actively convince their wife or girlfriend to carry without them having had a "negative life experience" to provide incentive?
May 3rd, 2005 01:54 PM
VIP Member (Retired Staff)
I guess I am sorta in that categroy.
Has anyone here been able to pro-actively convince their wife or girlfriend to carry without them having had a "negative life experience" to provide incentive?
My wife (#2 - we have been wed 5 years) - grew up with guns - her dad had a handgun in hand when answering door etc! Over later years tho her exposure was just casual as against active. She suffered one episode when IIRC still quite young - her bro was handling a rifle and shot her Grandpa (he died) - accidental shooting, but of course technically inexcusable.
Whilst that did not make her anti - it did turn her away from guns somewhat.
She had a pretty rough 20 some years during her first marriage but no major ''episodes'' I know of where carry might have been needed. She gradually has gotten used to me and my firearms ''enthusiasm'' (doncha love that word - plays things down from ''nut'' to normal LOL).
Her first involvement with my guns was really when I bought my first few - because I had no green card then, it was only she who could purchase - these were long arms. I had also imported the few I had left.
Once I could set about rebuilding my handgun collection we progressed from - ''why are you carrying?'' - to an acceptance of my desire to do so. It then became as it is now - ''what the old *** does!''.
I eventually got her to the range coupla years ago - and she tried about everything (I am not exaggerating!) - she had shot before but of course, barely enough to be really familiar. She tried about every handgun - and a few long arms, including AK! Heck - she was good with that!
She was best with my M66 as far as handguns went - VERY good shooting indeed, albeit with 38 spl loads. No semi really suited her due to the ergonomics of operation, slide racking etc. She is no whimp physically but does have probs dealing with strong slides.
Over latter part of last year I began to get her to think more on getting her CCW - even if she only wished to use it now and again. Plus it made things legal if she was in truck along with my piece (or one of!).Without much nagging - she eventually got the CCW early in the year and I encourage her to carry a bit more, bit by bit. I try to encourage the awareness deal and we soon will go get more practice.
She is best served right now with my ol' M85 snub, as a purse gun. So revo's still seem best bet. I'd rather she had five good and useful shots she can handle, than more from a platform she finds tricky at all.
Bottom line - she has gotten used to my ''interest'' and accepted the logic of carry. She is not a sport shooter (yet!) but is very supportive. She is a gem - and I am lucky, very lucky.
Chris - P95
NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.
"To own a gun and assume that you are armed
is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."
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May 3rd, 2005 01:59 PM
Yes. It took awhile. We had numerous discussions about RKBA, the AWB and its sunset, and I showed her the writings of Franklin and Jefferson on the right and necessity of keeping arms. It made her think. I took her to Colonial Williamsburg, and had her listen to the history of the Magazine, and the British confiscation of the colonists' firearms and ammo. I read to her from the essays on a-human-right website, and showed her the graphic art, and we discussed them. It made her think. I gave her John Lott to read. After that, I pointed out the bias in the news.
Originally Posted by SSKC
I had been going to the bead shows with her. One day, I invited her to a gun show. She said, OK. She's always loved blades, so she had a lot of fun at the DamascusUSA booth. We looked at a lot of handguns. I got her a couple of blades to work on. On the way home, I suggested that we stop off by the range. She said, OK. I rented a S&W M60 loaded with moderate .38's. On her very first shot, ever, she shot the 10 out of the 10-ring! She was hooked. She discovered that she really prefers the J-frame revolvers and and doesn't like flying brass. Seeing the ejected brass in her peripheral vision makes her flinch, and the sight of brass all over the place upsets her sense of order. Revolvers make more sense to her.
Just last week, she said she'd really like an old Ladysmith like she saw at the show. She isn't carrying yet, but she will be. She's gotten used to me carrying, and it seems strange to her, now, if I'm not.
May 3rd, 2005 11:14 PM
My GF like to hunt and outdoor activities. She also understands some folks out there may wish ya ill will. She likes to be self reliant.
May 3rd, 2005 11:25 PM
For my wife it is the knowledge that she does not need me around to protect her as well as the competitive edge we have in shooting diff scenarios out in the desert under a pact timer. She loves being profficient and in control of her own destiny unlike most of her gf's. So much so, she is even surprising me with her situational awareness. There were a few drills I learned in the military to get a grasp of my immediate surroundings and she has picked them up quite quickly.
Good luck with your gal. On a side note, it is reassuring to know my loved one carries and that at times I know my "6" is covered by a very competent shooter.
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live!!!
All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.
The worst thing in this world, next to anarchy, is government.
Henry Ward Beecher
May 4th, 2005 12:28 AM
I will say but this. I have seemed to encounter this quality in females in my various walks of life: they're either darned good at something, or completely indifferent to it. Yes I shall endeavor to explain.
When I worked at the lumberyard we had two types of female employees. We had Kelly, who had lots of redeeming qualities but didn't know a 2x4 precut from a Phillips screwdriver. Completely clueless about what this stuff actually was or what you do with it. My knife frightened her.
Then we had Audra. Audrey's specialty was concrete and masonry, and if you wanted to build anything she could tell you exactly what materials to use. I had a thing for Audra. Her knife was bigger than mine. I wish I still had her number...
Anyway this same dichotomy seems to extend to all pursuits. I've encountered the gals who carry full size 1911s. They laugh at my puny assortment of firearms and can shoot a smiley face in the brain pan of a qualification target 15 yards out.
Then there's my aunts, my mother, and a couple of my cousins. Yes they shoot, sort of, and they're not really adverse to it per se, but they refuse to talk about guns or set foot in a gun store. They actually expect someone else to take care of selecting the gun and all its accessories for them.
Now this isn't to say I don't meet men who are clueless or that it's impossible for a woman to be in the middle of the spectrum, but this is just my limited experience.
May 4th, 2005 07:45 AM
For many women, including my beautiful wife, overcoming the fear of firearms implanted by years of negitive brainwashing is tough.
I know with my wife the idea of guns and our children in the same house was a tough sell. My wife has yet to go to the range.... I feel like after she begins to actually see how guns work, much of the fear may pass away. I know there's hope becuase anytime we're somewhere she feels nervous, she checks to see if I'm packing.....
May 4th, 2005 01:16 PM
My wife grew up around guns. Her dad was really into wheelguns and reloading, so she was not afraid of guns. She just never considered having or carrying a gun of her own.
When I began carrying a gun, I wanted her to be familiar with my gun (Glock 30 at the time), in case she had to defend herself when I wasn't around. At first she wasn't sure, but I just had to give her time to become comfortable with the idea.
She enjoyed shooting, but my .45 was a little to much for her. I got a CZ PCR 9mm for her, and she loves it. It is a home gun only for her until she gets her CCW permit and a good carry setup.
May 4th, 2005 01:25 PM
This is a very interesting thread, I have read it a couple of times. S_O_Laban has expressed very well how most Mom's feel about having a gun around with children in the house. I believe she feels secure when Dad is near(armed) but may not be secure in her handling of guns. It's like watching a construction guy using a saw cutting a board across his knee, in no way not for me!!!! My guess is when the kids are leaving the nest she will get a little serious about shooting for her protection. I don't blame her feeling that way one bit and would not push it.(my unwanted .02).
As you slide down the banister of life,
May the splinters never point the wrong way.
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