This is a discussion on etiquette for carrying into someone's home within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; good advice....
Never criticize a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes...that way, when you criticize him, you're a mile away and you have his shoes.
Don't ask, don't tell. If you're concealing properly, nobody should ever know you are carrying a weapon and it shouldn't become an issue. If it's an open carry situation, that will complicate matters
OTOH, "IF" I should discover that the person I'm visiting has a problem with guns in their home and they find out that I carry a gun, I'd have a talk with them before I bring it into their home (again). If they can be reasoned with and aren't the type who get hysterical at the thought of a gun "magically" jumping up on it's own and killing everyone in the home, I'll try to convince them that there is no cause for concern and that my weapon is secure and out of sight at all times. If they still prefer not to have guns in their home - there are many that feel that way for their own reasons - it's their home, and their rules run the house.
If the second scenario plays out, I'd have to decide if not entering the home is a viable option or not. If it's not a realistic option (it's a family member or a person I and/or a member of my family may have a close relationship with), I'd tell the home owner my gun will remain unloaded while I'm in their house, secured in the home if they have a location we can both agree is adequate, or I'd leave my gun in my vehicle. If it's the home of someone I do have the option of not visiting, I will stay away.
"... Americans... we want a safe home, to keep the money we make and shoot bad guys." -- Denny Crane
Simple enough, tell him he can't enter your home unless he is carrying. When he objects to your line of reasoning explain that it is a personal choice you made. If he is going to dictate choices to you in his home you'll do the same in yours.
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Unfortunately, in the state of Arkansas we arent given a choice. A CHL holder must state that he is carrying when entering someone's house and they can deny him legal entrance with his firearm. So I tell anyone when I am carrying and about to enter their home. This means sometimes I dont bother carrying because I already know the homeowner wont like it.
My opinion is concealed is concealed, but if asked i will be honest. If the host is unhappy then I will choose not to visit. Family or not thats my feeling.
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I'm on the fence on this. On one hand I can understand being courteous and letting them know what's coming into their home. After all it is their home. But I'm also loath to be without my gun.
I'm usually for disarming the first time and then trying to start a conversation about guns and getting their opinion and trying to gauge whether they would be okay with it or not.
His house, his rules. If any homeowner asks me not to carry I'll disarm if it's important to them and I want to stay. That said they'll have to find out first. Unless they're pretty close friends they won't know (usually). I do think I'll require anti-guests to strap on a piece in my home. I love that idea.
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In the five years since I got my permit, I've ironically grown more laid-back about lots of things. Whether it's bad drivers, rude institutional hacks, or office gossips, I don't get easily jazzed. I've also had to be pretty flexible about when and where I carry--and given the importance of my family relationships, I wouldn't refuse concourse with my brother and his children in their house in the situation you describe.
...but that's just me
As much as I wouldn't want to be without my gun, I certainly wouldn't sacrifice visiting my family because they didn't want me carrying in their home. That's just a little over the top IMO. Family is everything.
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His house, he rules. My house, I rule. It's that simple.
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As for etiquette, it highly depends upon whom you ask, doesn't it? Someone who finds themselves on the receiving end of an inbound firearm isn't going to take it very well, generally speaking. Even a long-time shooting buddy of mine had to think about it for a second, before he realized it's only his choice whether I leave ... not whether I carry.
I'm of the mind that the nicest thing to do (divulge) is also the riskiest. In strictly legal terms, it's not trespass unless you refuse to go if asked. It's only effrontery if the person takes it poorly. It's only wrong, if you connive to get it in there, such as sneaking it around the guards and scanners at a party.
That said: I go armed. That's not an option for the one questioning my presence. Only my presence is. They don't like it? Tough. I'll leave, but I'll remain armed. Safer for me.