etiquette for carrying into someone's home

This is a discussion on etiquette for carrying into someone's home within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Usually, when I go to peoples homes, my gun is carried in a chest mounted elastic band shoulder holster. It is concealed, it will not ...

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Thread: etiquette for carrying into someone's home

  1. #31
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    Usually, when I go to peoples homes, my gun is carried in a chest mounted elastic band shoulder holster. It is concealed, it will not come out and in no way could it ever become an issue. In Missouri, there is no requisite law demanding I inform people I carry in private residences, therefore, I don't.

    I do this all the time, no one is the wiser. Even the few people who know I ccw never ask, never see, and I never tell. I go to very few peoples homes that I know are anti-gun or anti-ccw. Again, even they, never ask, never see, and I never tell.

    Now I am fully aware EVERYONE has the right to make the rules in their own home. I respect that, I have no problem with that. Like P95 says... If someone doesn't stipulate "no guns in my house" prior to me entering, then no one knows I have one. If they were to make such a demand, then of course I would abide by their wishes. Everyone has the right to make their own rules for their castle. I wouldn't carry there if they asked me not to.

    Now, I wouldn't be going back very often, if at all... and depending on how important that person is in my life, I may try and state my case and educate them at a later time.

    Bottom Line: Respect peoples wishes. Concealed means concealed so I don't see any reason to muddle the waters by volunteering information you are not required by law to reveal. For those who live in states where you are required by law to inform private homeowners you have a gun... abide by the laws, lobby to have the law changed and make preparations to move to a different state if you have problems being mandated to tell every Tom, Dick and Harry you have a gun.

    Quote Originally Posted by P95Carry View Post
    I also am in the camp of ''trust me - trust my gun'' ....... and if someone cannot give the trust I deserve then I am outa there for good.

    In the normal course of events, with no stipulations made prior to entering, I will be carrying and it will be concealed - and no one will be any the wiser. If however a request is made for 'no guns' and I have to go in (that time) I will have to respect the householder's wishes and disarm (very reluctantly)...

    ...Overall I avoid anywhere with private 'no gun' stipulations.
    Great advice and attitude!
    -Bark'n
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    "The gun is the great equalizer... For it is the gun, that allows the meek to repel the monsters; Whom are bigger, stronger and without conscience, prey on those who without one, would surely perish."

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  3. #32
    Member Array phaed's Avatar
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    depends who's there, and how well i know them. if there was any doubt that the people might mind, i would not carry in their home.

  4. #33
    Senior Member Array Timmy Jimmy's Avatar
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    If my sister said she did not want me to carry in her house I would make sure she did not know I was carrying in her house. If she did not want me rolling around on the floor with her kids with my gun on my hip I would walk into the House and walk to the refrigerator and take the gun off and put it on top of the refrigerator.

    I would then tell my nieces and or nephews there is a gun on top of the refrigerator don't touch it.

    Then I would just enjoy my visit.

    I would tell my sister I refuse to leave my gun in the car.
    Timmy Jimmy

    If it is not in the US Constitution then the Federal Government should not be doing it.

    "Carrying a gun is a social responsibility."

  5. #34
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    I relate this issue to be the same type as an encounter with an evangelistic relative.Some things are better left unsaid as there can be no meeting of the minds in certain instances.Rarely are any of these topics a valid reason to estrange yourself from family, yet it happens quite often.I'd say work out a compromise.You likely won't encounter a BG in your brother's home and you likely wouldn't shoot any of his family by accident.Just lock the gun in your car and end the dispute.JMHO Chuck.

  6. #35
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    I go with the don't ask, don't tell rule, after all it is called concealed carry.
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  7. #36
    Distinguished Member Array randytulsa2's Avatar
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    Don't ask, don't tell.

    If it comes up before you arrive, and the homeowner objects, don't go.

    If it comes up after you get there, and the homeowner objects, leave. Don't come back.
    "...bad decisions that turn out well often make heroes."


    Gary D. Mitchell, A Sniper's Journey: The Truth About the Man and the Rifle, P. 103, NAL Caliber books, 2006, 1st Ed.

  8. #37
    Member Array Linda's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Breakdaddy View Post
    Unfortunately, in the state of Arkansas we arent given a choice. A CHL holder must state that he is carrying when entering someone's house and they can deny him legal entrance with his firearm. So I tell anyone when I am carrying and about to enter their home. This means sometimes I dont bother carrying because I already know the homeowner wont like it.

    That law is messed up!

    If I lived in Arkansas, I would be out of the real estate business, because I sure as heck wouldn't be asking homeowners if I can carry in their homes when I'm showing it.

    Wow, and I thought Ohio's laws were oppressive! You guys need to get that changed.
    Member of the National Rifle Association's Board of Directors
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  9. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mike from Texas View Post
    As much as I wouldn't want to be without my gun, I certainly wouldn't sacrifice visiting my family because they didn't want me carrying in their home. That's just a little over the top IMO. Family is everything.
    Agreed...That is the conclusion I've come to. I spoke with him and next time we're together, he agreed to go to range with me. A good first step I think.
    Never criticize a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes...that way, when you criticize him, you're a mile away and you have his shoes.

  10. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by PAExplorer View Post
    Agreed...That is the conclusion I've come to. I spoke with him and next time we're together, he agreed to go to range with me. A good first step I think.
    Sounds like your brother is reasonably intelligent, if misguided. Baby steps. If he can learn to see firearms for the simple tools they are, he'll come to realize that, unattended, they don't to anything that a hammer wouldn't do. Once he's comfortable with the shooting, loading/unloading, cleaning part, perhaps he'll see how secure a gun is in the holster, how unlikely it is for one to magically jump the tracks and harm anyone, etc.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
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  11. #40
    Senior Member Array PaulG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PAExplorer View Post
    Agreed...That is the conclusion I've come to. I spoke with him and next time we're together, he agreed to go to range with me. A good first step I think.
    Glad to see a friendly resolution appears in the making.

    Luckily, in Virginia, we don't have to inform before entering a home. Also, lucky for me, everyone I care about just happens to be progun.

    If someone else asked me to leave my gun at home, I would, along with me!
    fortiter in re, suaviter in modo (resolutely in action, gently in manner).

  12. #41
    Senior Member Array tegemu's Avatar
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    I believe I would assure him that I would comply but also inform him that I am very leery of leaving it in my car. I would then, as someone else suggested, ask him if there was someplace safe in the house that I could leave the UNLOADED gun. Then let him see me unload it and put the ammo in my pocket and the gun in the safe place.
    People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence in their behalf. - George Orwell

  13. #42
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    Some have said, "Don't ask, don't tell"; others have said, "Don't visit, then. Abide by his rule."

    I think a hybrid of the two is called for (though I also lean a bit toward D.A.D.T.):

    Havegunjoe said, "Leave it in the car, visit infrequently. When he asks why tell him it is because of his lack of trust in you. When he claims you are being paranoid direct him ..."

    I think that's best. Let him come to you to find out why you won't visit anymore. Then let him have it with your (truly) righteous indignation that he treats you as a pariah just because you choose to arm yourself, and he unthinkingly acts as though there is no reason to distinguish between YOU being armed and some street CRIMINAL being armed.

    But most importantly, let him know that because you carry CONCEALED, you could easily come over with your gun on and unless he patted you down -- which would be unforgivably insulting to you -- he would never know you were armed. And tell him that even in light of this understanding, you still choose to abide by his wishes, but it means that you will not be coming to visit.

    If he can live with that, fine. But once you lay it out, and inform him that you're insulted by his refusal to distinguish between YOU being armed and some dangerous CRIMINAL being armed, the ball will be in his court.

  14. #43
    Ron
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    The owner of a house has the right to establish the rules of his or her house for visitors. If I know in advance that the owner does not want guns in their house, then IMO it is disrespectful to dellberately violate those rules. If I am not aware of their position on this issue then I follow my usual rule of carrying concealed and don't tell anyone other my family and other friends who I know also carry. My choice is to respect their wishes or not visit.

    It is no different then this Forum. The owner has established rules of conduct. If you are unable or unwilling to abide by those rules, you have two choices. Don't post, but only lurk, or ask that your membership be terminated.

    Ron
    Last edited by Ron; July 3rd, 2007 at 08:06 PM.
    "It does not do to leave a dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him."

    J. R. R. Tolkien

  15. #44
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    He was right to just leave. The homeowner was getting himself cranked up, and it only would have escalated further. There are lots more jobs in the world.
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    Opinions expressed here are based upon Michigan state law ONLY. Other state laws may differ. Know and observe your local laws.

  16. #45
    Member Array produman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Echo_Four View Post
    Simple enough, tell him he can't enter your home unless he is carrying. When he objects to your line of reasoning explain that it is a personal choice you made. If he is going to dictate choices to you in his home you'll do the same in yours.

    Echo...You are the man. I love the way you think...
    "May God have mercy on my enemies, because I won't."
    General George Patton

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