etiquette for carrying into someone's home

This is a discussion on etiquette for carrying into someone's home within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; What do you all do? I recently had a negative experience where I was at my brother's house (didn't carry while I was there) but ...

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Thread: etiquette for carrying into someone's home

  1. #1
    Member Array PAExplorer's Avatar
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    etiquette for carrying into someone's home

    What do you all do? I recently had a negative experience where I was at my brother's house (didn't carry while I was there) but he found out later that I do carry. He said that he hoped I wouldn't bring a gun into his home. He said that he wouldn't want me playing with his son with a gun on my belt. I understand where he's coming from, but what do you do to avoid these situations? Leave in the car all the time? Is there a general rule of thumb? I don't want to ask permission, I'd prefer if everyone didn't know. Your feedback is appreciated.
    Never criticize a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes...that way, when you criticize him, you're a mile away and you have his shoes.

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    VIP Member Array Redneck Repairs's Avatar
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    Personaly i dont make an issue of my ccw . I carry everywhere , If someone chooses to make me aware they are not comfortable with armed folk ( such as myself ) i choose not to visit them anymore , and if they visit me they get over microwaved hot dogs for meals .
    Make sure you get full value out of today , Do something worthwhile, because what you do today will cost you one day off the rest of your life .
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  4. #3
    VIP Member Array peacefuljeffrey's Avatar
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    Ask your brother for a sit-down during which you can discuss the issue: you can ask him what it is that makes him distrust you with a gun, for one thing.

    I would take some insult from being asked by my sibling not to be armed. For one, they are making a sort of demand on me that I leave myself vulnerable; for another (this is a big one, too) they are implying that I cannot be trusted to either not harm him and his, or that I cannot manage to keep the gun under control.

    Perhaps if he receives assurances from you about your level of commitment and ability with regard to safety, he might ease up and then appreciate that you are there as a defender of good.

    And I'm with Redneckrepairs; people who disrespect you like that don't deserve a ******* lot of respect back. Overmicrowaved hotdogs -- I love it!!

  5. #4
    Member Array wareagleky's Avatar
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    I would talk with him. So far not had this happen, but there are those out there that do not understand. Also I would hate to give up certain people, such as family to be able to see just because of a firearm. Family is why I carry, so there is extra protection. However if my protection kept me from my family then I would have to reconsider how to protect them.

    I know this is a little long for an answer but I would carry and not ask, but if the topic is brought up then you must decide wether you are comfortable enough where you are to have you firearm further away than any of us like to?

  6. #5
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    I also am in the camp of ''trust me - trust my gun'' ....... and if someone cannot give the trust I deserve then I am outa there for good.

    In the normal course of events, with no stipulations made prior to entering, I will be carrying and it will be concealed - and no one will be any the wiser. If however a request is made for 'no guns' and I have to go in (that time) I will have to respect the householder's wishes and disarm (very reluctantly).

    At a pre 4th picnic on Saturday (outdoors) I was as usual carrying but open - the bike friends hosting are fully understanding of my wish to not ever remove it. No one else there was in the least phased and in fact when her sister turned up later, the wife made mention of it to her and she said ''Oh, that's good. I like that''.

    Overall I avoid anywhere with private 'no gun' stipulations.
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  7. #6
    Ex Member Array Pete's Avatar
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    Don't ask - don't tell.

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    His house, his rules. Leave it in the car, visit infrequently. When he asks why tell him it is because of his lack of trust in you. When he claims you are being paranoid direct him to the article I just posted on another thread.


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    Senior Member Array TonyW's Avatar
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    I don't say anything, since it's concealed it should be a problem and to me that's how concealed carry is. But once he stated he does not want you carrying in his house you obviously have to abide by that. Whether you continue to visit, or visit as much, is up to you.

    As everyone else has said, talk to him about it.
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  10. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pete View Post
    Don't ask - don't tell.
    +1!
    ALWAYS carry! - NEVER tell!

    "A superior Operator is best defined as someone who uses his superior
    judgement to keep himself out of situations that would require a display of his
    superior skills."

  11. #10
    Member Array produman's Avatar
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    I would not visit. If he would like to see me he will have to come to my house. The problem is he does not have enough knowledge about CCW. Maybe if you showed him how safe it can be, he will change his mind.
    "May God have mercy on my enemies, because I won't."
    General George Patton

  12. #11
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    It sounds to me that your brother has the typical hoplophobe's irrational fear of firearms. I'm not sure anything you say would change his mind. Anyone with beliefs this strong won't be swayed by reason.

    But it is his home and he makes the rules. You're simply a visitor and should respect them. It's the same as this forum. It's Bumper's home and he makes the rules. We are welcome as visitors as long as we repect the rules.

    Probably your best solution is to leave your gun in your car when you're at your brother's house. It's a crappy situation, I know, but it is what it is.


    When you’re wounded and left on Afghanistan’s plains,
    And the women come out to cut up what remains,
    Just roll to your rifle and blow out your brains,
    And go to your God like a soldier.

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  13. #12
    Member Array falkon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thumper View Post
    +1!
    same thing here +1
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    Those who understand binary, and those that don't.

  14. #13
    Senior Member Array MR D's Avatar
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    take him to the range...

    not visit as often, his house - his rules (respect his rules)


  15. #14
    VIP Member Array Janq's Avatar
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    I choose to not carry into other peoples homes.
    To me it's a matter of respecting said persons own 'castle' and their own beliefs even if they might be different than my own.
    I know no one who carries and very few who are pro-gun of which only two know I carry; my inlaws and a good friend (both ofwhom were my charachter references).
    When visiting with my inlaws which is very often I'll unholster, clear, and lock up my sidearm leaving it in my vehicle.

    - Janq
    "Killers who are not deterred by laws against murder are not going to be deterred by laws against guns. " - Robert A. Levy

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  16. #15
    Member Array Tim the Teacher's Avatar
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    I would ask him if you could show him how the internals work on the gun. Disassemble it in front of him and show him how the trigger mechanism works and what causes the firing pin to come in contact with the casing. If the mystique and apprehension of how a gun operates is alleviated he may feel a bit more at ease.

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