Getting 'friendly'

This is a discussion on Getting 'friendly' within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Ive been considering a CCW license for some time now and was talking it over with the girlfriend. While she doesn't necessarily think the same ...

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Thread: Getting 'friendly'

  1. #1
    New Member Array taogoat's Avatar
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    Question Getting 'friendly'

    Ive been considering a CCW license for some time now and was talking it over with the girlfriend. While she doesn't necessarily think the same way I do about self-defense she is very open minded and reasonable though still undecided. Her biggest concern (after the gun misfiring for absolutely no apparent reason) is her accidentally touching it when she's just coming in for a hug, cuddling up on the couch, or otherwise being friendly. How have the rest of you handled either the concern or the actual happening? How has carrying affected bein' friendly with you better half?

    Like I said she's open minded and just wants to talk these things out in order to finally figure out how she really feels about all this CCW jazz. In case it matters, I'm thinking about a Steyr M40A1 carried IWB on my strong (right) side.

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    Distinguished Member Array ArmyCop's Avatar
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    I guess you could show her one in it's holster - how the trigger is covered and she could hug all she wanted and it wouldn't go off....
    For God, Family and Country!

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    VIP Member Array Cupcake's Avatar
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    Ummm, me and the Mrs. have had all sorts of physical contact while I'm armed. She has so far survived unscathed.
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    VIP Member Array Blackeagle's Avatar
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    Well, Lima and JD seem to like fondling each other's guns (that sounds dirty doesn't it ).

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    Member Array wareagleky's Avatar
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    i can tell you my girlfriend went with me to the CCW class but she has not filed the rest of her paper work.
    So is open minded about ccw.

    Back to point I have been told several times now that she hates when she reaches over to put her hand on my leg she graps hold of my BUG or there are times when she will try to put her arm around my waist and I pull away as she is pulling my shirtacross my back an printing me pretty bad.

    Beyond this she has been really good about it and nothing much has changed. Ocassionally she thinks I am paronoid as I carry everywhere even at home now, but I think this is just a matter of time before she becomes comfortable with it.

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    New Member Array taogoat's Avatar
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    I'm not overly concerned with a misfire or accidental discharge with the rig outlined above and just need to convince her of that. So let me ask this in another way...how often do y'all find other people actually touching your piece (approximately the same size as above if applicable) when you come in physical contact with them?

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    Senior Member Array SOLOLUCKY's Avatar
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    For me it has been no issue. My new girlfriend who is, like yers, won't refuse the right to carry, but is leary of guns in general but trusts my safety.
    She may bump it but its no issue.
    Now, what I hafta talk to her about is "outing" me to her friends, etc. I guess its still so new to her she tells on me inadvertantly as its no big deal to say it. And maybe in the big pic its not, but still it kinda is to me.
    When I arive she hugs me, grabs for either my spare mag or the grip of the gun to know i have it or not. And she actually pics up now on my clothes and can tell if I'm packing or not....smart girl.

    And I carry a fullsize 1911 so there is lots to inadvertantly bump into. When the kids are asleep i take it off and set it on the end table by the couch. She used to look at it like it was a snake but after a few times of doing it she does not even notice its there hardly anymore.
    like anything, the first time is the most awkward.
    R1

    This is mine. That is yours.

    Lets keep it that way.

  9. #8
    Member Array freetrapper's Avatar
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    Never a problem at my house and I carry right up to the second I go to bed and put my carry gun on the night stand. Its actually a joke sometimes around my house. I will poke or pinch her on the way by and she will go to smack me and hit my gun causing her more discomfort than me.

    The only complaint I ever get is that it does some times poke her when riding double on the ATV or Bike.
    Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not."

    ~ Thomas Jefferson

  10. #9
    Distinguished Member Array randytulsa2's Avatar
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    Pardon the bad pun, but she was "gunshy" at first.

    She's gotten way used to it by now, but won't intentionally grab one of my guns...
    "...bad decisions that turn out well often make heroes."


    Gary D. Mitchell, A Sniper's Journey: The Truth About the Man and the Rifle, P. 103, NAL Caliber books, 2006, 1st Ed.

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    My other half used to worry about the gun jumping off of my hip and shooting everything in sight. Now, she could care less. Being a med student means she spends the vast majority of her time in a place that is off limits for carry so she doesn't feel the need to carry. I think I have her convinced to get her permit as soon as she graduates, but there is no way to tell.

    Regardless, she now sees the pistol on my hip as being no different than the folding knife or flash light. Just a piece of gear I always carry.
    "The only people I like besides my wife and children are Marines."
    - Lt. Col. Oliver North

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    Member Array plblark's Avatar
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    My wife knows it's there. She's not completely comfortable with it but not afraid. She often brushes near it. At Christmas, my dad went to get a plate, I stepped in the way so he placed his hand on my side to guide me out of the way. At which time he had a full firing grip on my 1911 (well, through the sweater) ... he's one of the few who I let close enough and he knew I carried 24/7 but that's the day it really sank in :-)
    For MN specific carry information and a great shooting community, check out forum.twincitiescarry.com

  13. #12
    VIP Member Array Janq's Avatar
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    Tao,

    For most forms of PDA there is zero concern, as long as your sidearm is properly holstered be it on your hip, in your pocket, or under your arm.
    With an unholstered pistol you take your chances.
    Otherwise if she has desire to be more physical than what most would consider PDA related then use your best judgement.

    - Janq
    "Killers who are not deterred by laws against murder are not going to be deterred by laws against guns. " - Robert A. Levy

    "A license to carry a concealed weapon does not make you a free-lance policeman." - Florida Div. of Licensing

  14. #13
    Member Array HRnTX's Avatar
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    When my wife and I are out to dinner with another couple that we are close friends with it is not uncommon to greet each other with a hug. If I am carrying IWB on my right hip I try to make sure their arm goes high, as mine goes low, thus blocking any incidental contact with the gun.

  15. #14
    Senior Member Array cmidkiff's Avatar
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    Just position yourself on the right side of the couch :)

    Carry it. Don't worry overly about how anyone else feels about it. If she's unwilling to live with your personal decision, you're probably better off without her.

    Might be a tough way to look at things, but life is too short to spend it with someone who doesn't understand and can't accept your choices.
    Liberty is an inherently offensive lifestyle. Living in a free society guarantees that each one of us will see our most cherished principles and beliefs questioned and in some cases mocked. It's worth it.

  16. #15
    New Member Array taogoat's Avatar
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    This may not come out right but she realizes it's something she will get used to. Not just "have to get used to" but is sensible enough to actually accept it and get over it. I'm just wondering what some of you other folks have experienced. Thanks for all the replies!

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