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Getting 'friendly'

4K views 41 replies 38 participants last post by  fireman69 
#1 ·
Ive been considering a CCW license for some time now and was talking it over with the girlfriend. While she doesn't necessarily think the same way I do about self-defense she is very open minded and reasonable though still undecided. Her biggest concern (after the gun misfiring for absolutely no apparent reason) is her accidentally touching it when she's just coming in for a hug, cuddling up on the couch, or otherwise being friendly. How have the rest of you handled either the concern or the actual happening? How has carrying affected bein' friendly with you better half?

Like I said she's open minded and just wants to talk these things out in order to finally figure out how she really feels about all this CCW jazz. In case it matters, I'm thinking about a Steyr M40A1 carried IWB on my strong (right) side.
 
#5 ·
i can tell you my girlfriend went with me to the CCW class but she has not filed the rest of her paper work.
So is open minded about ccw.

Back to point I have been told several times now that she hates when she reaches over to put her hand on my leg she graps hold of my BUG or there are times when she will try to put her arm around my waist and I pull away as she is pulling my shirtacross my back an printing me pretty bad.

Beyond this she has been really good about it and nothing much has changed. Ocassionally she thinks I am paronoid as I carry everywhere even at home now, but I think this is just a matter of time before she becomes comfortable with it.
 
#6 ·
I'm not overly concerned with a misfire or accidental discharge with the rig outlined above and just need to convince her of that. So let me ask this in another way...how often do y'all find other people actually touching your piece (approximately the same size as above if applicable) when you come in physical contact with them?
 
#30 ·
I'm not overly concerned with a misfire or accidental discharge with the rig outlined above and just need to convince her of that. So let me ask this in another way...how often do y'all find other people actually touching your piece (approximately the same size as above if applicable) when you come in physical contact with them?
uhhhhh.....

Nahhh..........too easy.

:rofl:
 
#7 ·
For me it has been no issue. My new girlfriend who is, like yers, won't refuse the right to carry, but is leary of guns in general but trusts my safety.
She may bump it but its no issue.
Now, what I hafta talk to her about is "outing" me to her friends, etc. I guess its still so new to her she tells on me inadvertantly as its no big deal to say it. And maybe in the big pic its not, but still it kinda is to me.
When I arive she hugs me, grabs for either my spare mag or the grip of the gun to know i have it or not. And she actually pics up now on my clothes and can tell if I'm packing or not....smart girl.

And I carry a fullsize 1911 so there is lots to inadvertantly bump into. When the kids are asleep i take it off and set it on the end table by the couch. She used to look at it like it was a snake but after a few times of doing it she does not even notice its there hardly anymore.
like anything, the first time is the most awkward.
 
#8 ·
Never a problem at my house and I carry right up to the second I go to bed and put my carry gun on the night stand. Its actually a joke sometimes around my house. I will poke or pinch her on the way by and she will go to smack me and hit my gun causing her more discomfort than me.

The only complaint I ever get is that it does some times poke her when riding double on the ATV or Bike.
 
#9 ·
Pardon the bad pun, but she was "gunshy" at first.

She's gotten way used to it by now, but won't intentionally grab one of my guns...
 
#10 ·
My other half used to worry about the gun jumping off of my hip and shooting everything in sight. Now, she could care less. Being a med student means she spends the vast majority of her time in a place that is off limits for carry so she doesn't feel the need to carry. I think I have her convinced to get her permit as soon as she graduates, but there is no way to tell.

Regardless, she now sees the pistol on my hip as being no different than the folding knife or flash light. Just a piece of gear I always carry.
 
#11 ·
My wife knows it's there. She's not completely comfortable with it but not afraid. She often brushes near it. At Christmas, my dad went to get a plate, I stepped in the way so he placed his hand on my side to guide me out of the way. At which time he had a full firing grip on my 1911 (well, through the sweater) ... he's one of the few who I let close enough and he knew I carried 24/7 but that's the day it really sank in :)
 
#12 ·
Tao,

For most forms of PDA there is zero concern, as long as your sidearm is properly holstered be it on your hip, in your pocket, or under your arm.
With an unholstered pistol you take your chances.
Otherwise if she has desire to be more physical than what most would consider PDA related then use your best judgement.

- Janq
 
#13 ·
When my wife and I are out to dinner with another couple that we are close friends with it is not uncommon to greet each other with a hug. If I am carrying IWB on my right hip I try to make sure their arm goes high, as mine goes low, thus blocking any incidental contact with the gun.
 
#22 ·
Like HRnTX said; other than my wife we have a few close friends I will hug. This happen at the cancer walk in twon when we saw a couple freind we had not seen in about two years. When Rhonda walked up she and I hugged --- my right arm was over my gun which I was carrying in a IWB but had it between the WD and the belt. To my knowledge they were none the wiser. As it happens I would not care if he knew; he and I have hunted together so he knows I own guns. For all I know he may carry also. We really do need a secret handshake or something!?!:gah:
 
#14 ·
Just position yourself on the right side of the couch :)

Carry it. Don't worry overly about how anyone else feels about it. If she's unwilling to live with your personal decision, you're probably better off without her.

Might be a tough way to look at things, but life is too short to spend it with someone who doesn't understand and can't accept your choices.
 
#15 ·
This may not come out right but she realizes it's something she will get used to. Not just "have to get used to" but is sensible enough to actually accept it and get over it. I'm just wondering what some of you other folks have experienced. Thanks for all the replies!
 
#16 · (Edited)
How have the rest of you handled either the concern or the actual happening? How has carrying affected bein' friendly with you better half?
When I started carrying, I showed her the gun and the holster, pointing out how the trigger guard is completely covered and she saw the logic. She went from "The only person around here to shoot is me", after a few weeks of my not shooting her, to accepting my practice.

Occasionally she has touched it, like when we are both doing something at close quarters in the kitchen. It doesn't seem to bother her.

We have no family living within 1000 miles, nor intimate acquaintances, so no one else ever touches me except via a hand-shake.
 
#17 ·
After recently introducing the idea to my fiancee (who lives with me.) And purchasing my first handgun (cz40p, w00t.) She isn't bothered by it. This is a woman who does carry a rather large Ken Onion Kershaw,and owns about 7 other folders that she LOVES. "I love shooting,but I don't love guns." Although whenever I have it out to clean it or whatever,she always asks to hold it,and see it.
 
#18 ·
I've been pretty lucky with my wife. She loves guns and is getting her permit. She makes sure I have it with me all the time and says she feels safer when I have it. On the rare nights out without our daughter she puts her arm around my waist while walking across the movie theater parking lot saying that she can grab the gun if someone comes up from the front without me having to reach around :biggrin2:for it...
 
#20 ·
Her biggest concern (after the gun misfiring for absolutely no apparent reason) is her accidentally touching it when she's just coming in for a hug, cuddling up on the couch, or otherwise being friendly. How have the rest of you handled either the concern or the actual happening? How has carrying affected bein' friendly with you better half?

Just tell her if it ever goes off and kills the couch you'll buy her a new one.

BTW, my wife isn't just friendly with me, she's very friendly. Never had a problem.
 
#21 ·
I am fortunate that the bride not only thinks it's a good idea, but usually checks out my carry to be sure it's well concealed. And now that she has a ProCarry in .45 and is doing well (stays in a 12 inch circle at 15 yards) at the range with it, she's considering getting her CHL as well. Life is good...
 
#23 ·
I have never really had an issue with my girl. She doesn't carry (yet), but she is very comfortable with guns.

Though we like to play slug bug when we drive and once she hit my in the leg a little high and caught the 638 in my pocket and hurt her hand. I didn't stop laughing until she hit me again. :hand5: :rofl: :wink:
 
#24 ·
My wife is "gun neutral". I will probably never get her to carry, but She will know how to use the weapons available to her at home (I travel a bit).

I think her agreement came when one of her sisters, who is, in her words "not a gun person", told her that she had taken classes for that reason. Her sister weighs maybe 110 soaking wet, and took the class with a .357. I'm planning on starting her out on either the 9mm Makarov or M&P 9.

We'll both feel better, and it's a start.
 
#25 ·
It is not the gun that stops my wife from being friendly. The gun is an inanimate object it can not do anything on it's own. Besides the not being friendly started long before I got the gun.






That is a joke folks it is a joke. My wife is the best wife in the world I married way above my potential!
 
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