Asked to Unload
I have read many threads on here about peoples personal experiences. I would like to share one with you all. I will say that I have thought about what I would do if ever asked to disarm to enter someones home. Honestly the answer I came up with most of the time was I will burn that bridge when I get there. So here is my little tale.
Around noon last Saturday I get a phone call from my best friends brother, who I also hangout with from time to time. He called to invite me to his best friends 21 birthday. I told him I would call him up when I was close to his house, I had a general idea where he was living but not 100% where since it was a new place. When I pull up he is out there with the birthday boy. I greet them and Josh(not the birthday boy) tells me you got to unload the gun. A little puzzled, I look at him and ask if he is serious. He replies yeah he is serious. Well split second thinking, At this point I am asked not to disarm but asked to not carry with one in the tube ( at least to me that is unloaded gun, even if the mag is loaded). I carry an ammo can with gunlocks and trigger locks in the car in case there is an unexpected need to disarm. So I figure no harm no foul I will lock it up and leave it in the trunk.
Now at this point I think there are a few things that looking back flashed through my mind in those few seconds I spent making my choice on what to do.
-I never Seth pretty well but this is the first time I am meeting his family and who ever was there.
-I am a guest at their house invited to one of the more important parties in a persons life
-The neighborhood was very nice
-Josh has a big mouth and I have done a lot of messed up, although funny things, so they may not know what to expect from me
-If Josh is giving me a heads up there may be a reason.
Now on with the events.
I met everyone there and the only one who asked me about carrying was Seth's sister and she wanted to know why. Given her attitude I figured at this point it was somewhat of a lost cause trying to explain it to her. So I told her I did because I can. She kinda seemed like she would be more willing to chat about it once you get to know her, but at that point I had no creds. Throughout the day mingling, I met at least 2 who carried and a third who I suspect had a gun in the house. They shared some stories and what not. I especially liked the one about the guy getting stopped in NJ, while he remembered our PA Licenses were not valid there he did manage to forget some hollow points in plain sight in the car. That is a story for another time. Later that night I got into a nice talk with a new father, I put him slightly older than me so he might be 25ish. He was interested in carry and about what I carried. He then asked if he could take a look at it. So I went to the car and unloaded it, brought it back. Where we were sitting it was me, him,his woman, Seth's dad(homeowner), Josh (guy who called me), Seth's sister, and drunk sexy kayla. No one was freaked out but his sister and half of that was due to her being plastered. Seth's dad was way cool about it and seemed to be listening to the conversation a lot. I think we wet his whistle, and he may be interested in checking it out. After all this I was invited to spend the night. Next day the sister who freaked out was all cool about it. So because I chose not to force my beliefs on someone else, that being my right to bear arms I think it was a good experience.
A few things I walked away with
-Met some fellow packers
-Educated some people
-Exposed a few people to a new way to look at things
-Had a wonderfull time
-I am pretty sure next time I am over there I will be fully packed, no unloading
-I think in the future there are going to be some good times partying with drunk sexy kayla.
So it was a good night of safe, guns, partying, and women. What more could a man in the 20's ask for:biggrin2:
You seem to have the "I carry" thing as a big part of personal identity. How come?
Originally Posted by Ben B.
I'm not sure "because I can" was the best answer you could have given. Try something like "Because I can't carry a cop and my personal protection is very important to me." If you're carrying just "because you can" then you're not carrying for the right reason in my opinion.
Glad things turned out okay. I kept expecting **** to hit the fan as I was reading your story but nothing came of it; I'm glad.
I think you did the right thing by not forcing your beliefs on someone, or even defending them when no good will come of it. I've noticed that in most situations that tends to be the best strategy. If you try and debate with people, even if you "win," psychologically that actually causes the person to be even *more* stubborn in their beliefs more often than not. If people want their minds changed, they'll keep their minds open, ask questions, and come to you.
First, I'd like to say, Good story and good times. I'm glad that it turned out to be a good experience, sometimes a little accommodation (though uncomfortable at the time) can lead to great results. Bravo!
I sensed this, too, but I don't see it in a negative light.
Originally Posted by Ben B.
There are people who determine they will tell NO ONE, not even their spouse.
There are people who are okay with only very close family and friends knowing.
Then there are those who are okay to share as long as it comes up in a conversation.
Even further down that path are those who feel it is necessary to show the world that CCWers are decent, healthy, happy, stable, individuals and possibly win a few antis to our side.
I don't think there is anything wrong with any one of these beliefs, I can certainly understand why any would follow any number of the above practices.
Each mode of operation comes with its ups and its downs.
If you tell no one, not even your wife, sure you have a tactical advantage in that absolutely no one knows that you are armed, and you are also safe from people deciding that because you have a gun they will follow you home and try to take that gun from you, but you also aren't going to win anyone over to our side.
Even if you do get into a conversation about concealed carry and you advocate it, when asked if YOU carry, you have no response but to either be vague (which can be insulting to many) or to lie (which is never a good tactic either), so to keep your discretion on the level you desire, you are forced not even to talk about it much, other than on places like this where you can continue to enjoy a high level of anonymity.
On the other hand, if you feel yours is the responsibility to educate the world, then you are completely open: first to attacks from the antis and also from attacks by people who think they'd like to have what you have. However, you may win over a few concerned people who can spread the good news and keep our lifestyle going.
Each has a level of compromise needed.
I think that all too often, outspoken, intelligent people are looked down on for their willingness to share their status as a concealed carrier. They are looked at as punks who just like to advertise the fact that they have a gun.
This assumption, mind you, is founded in some truth as, a good number of the time, that is actually exactly what is going on.
However, there are a few people who feel that people need to be educated about concealed carry by someone other than the anti liberals preaching against it on television. They see theirs as a mission to help others see the light and who are we to stifle that desire? After all, we DO share the same goal.
I talk a lot about concealed carry to many different people, most are friends and family, but often the subject comes up in conversation with strangers. More often than not the fellow carriers are thrilled to meet a like-minded individual; the fence-sitters are relieved to see a stable, happy, confident person with a gun and are turned on to the idea; the scared ones are uneasy but they see how close they are to a gun and are pleasantly surprised to see it hasn't jumped out of the holster and come after them blazing (which is certainly a big step in the right direction); and the antis just sneer, call you crazy and paranoid and walk away while mumbling something about insecurities and stuff (at least that's the biggest reaction I've gotten from an anti).
Look at the story above and what a positive outcome it turned out to be. A possible anti turned, some new friends, more positive light shed on our world, all because someone decided they wouldn't be shy about it.
Yes, he had to disarm, but because he was courteous, respectful, open and honest, he may have changed some minds and won a few points for our side.
On the other hand, had no one known he was carrying a gun, yes, he could have gone in completely armed, but the fruits of his visit would probably not be so bountiful.
To each his own, of course, but I like the view of the bigger picture being painted in this family.
I agree that being polite, curtious and dissarming when asked was deffinately the best thing to do. And I beleive in talking about it when it's brought up and I do as it comes up often at work. I just don't beleive that the argument of "because I can" holds any water or puts a good light on people who legally carry concealed. But like I said this is all just my opinion. I'm glad everything worked out well and you may have added a few to our ranks.
I am not sure what exactly you mean by " I carry is part of me".
Truth be told Josh, the guy who I assume let it out that I carried is family, maybe not by blood but there is nothing I would not do for him. He knew I carried because we talk guns a lot. It is an interest we share. If asked I will not pussyfoot around the subject. I answer honestly and directly. It is not who I am it is something I do. I do not expect the fact that I carry to sway someone one way or another. If it does that person would not be worth my time if they are that narrow minded. I have friends who love guns, who like carry but can't get it around their head that I carry with one in the tube. I speak my mind on a subject if asked, but I do not make it a point to announce I carry. Those who I found out carried brought it up on their own when it had nothing to do with what was being discussed. I would rather lose a little tactical advantage by talking with people then pretending to be a sheep. If something hit the fan and my some people who know I carry were their, I don't think any of them have it in them to do something that would compromise us. That is just not the people I associate with on a regular basis. If I was with someone who did, well maybe I have to keep that in mind and try to adjust training for that. I am very selective with who knows I carry without asking me, but like I said before I am not going to beat the bush when asked about it. The more it is out there the more it will become the norm.
Edit: Rereading the above and what Ben said. And I think a more direct answer to you is that I am proud to carry. I look at other countries and even states for that matter and it just is a good feeling. It is like voting for the first time. There is no real reason for the feeling but it is there. No reason to be ashamed of it.
As Lima pointed out, each of us needs to assess and then either let others know we carry or not. A lot depends on your outlook and life experiences.
I am with you on this one. I drive a wrecker and I come in contact with a lot of ppl...(some I wish I hadn't...lol) The subject does come up on its own (probly due to the gun rags in my truck). I am open about it if it comes up but I dont offer the info to just anyone either. You cant educate ppl if you dont talk about it.
Great story and good luck
Good deal, man.:35: Just be careful with "drunk-n-sexy"; stuff that's funny when drunk can get dangerous/painful, real quick.
You were talking about the "drunk Kayla". I'm assuming YOU weren't drinking.
I have no problem with anything you said or did. I personally wouldn't like it if my friends were spreading the word that I carried. Maybe he wasn't asked not to say anything.
Once again Lima nailed it.
My situation is more the educate whenever possible position.
The wierd thing is everyone I know knows that I am the pro-gun guy. However, I have only been asked about carrying a couple of times.
My answer has been "I have been known to carry a firearm at times". That satisfied all except for one occassion. The guy then said, "are you carrying now?" I responded with "Since you don't know the proper etiquette, let me explain something to you. In the progun world, that question is considered rude. It's like asking someone what color underwear they have on".
He just said "Oh, OK. . .no problem". and left it at that.
I don't go out of my way to let people know I have a gun but if the topic comes up I make sure everyone knows I support the 2nd Amendment.
Look. . . .I know all about the tactical advantages not talking to anyone about guns. I am well aware of the "greyman" concept.
But I feel that if NO ONE ever discusses firearms and lets the masses know that many of us are armed, they will NEVER get comfortable with the idea of people carrying guns.
I can proudly say that because of me, there are quite a few converts out there.
One of the things that bugs the heck out of me about South Carolina CWP law is that I'm prohibited from carrying my firearm in someone elses residence without permission.
I understand the arguement that says that the homeowner has a right to control what goes on in his or her home but then again I have a right to carry whatever I legally can and wish to in my pockets in under my coat or shirt.
As far as I'm concerned, an homeowner may ask me not to carry in their home if they wish. I have no problem with that, but I don't like the fact that it's my responsibility to disclose that I have a firearm and then to get permission to be legal.
It's kind of like the "vampire" rule about them not being able to enter your house unless you invite them.
If I do or not is not discussed and I have a plan not to carry in anybody's home 'cept family. There are some I would discuss it with;
but, other than pointers, if asked, there is no need to.
I'm glad you had a positive and fun filled night. One thing though it sounds like people were having a good time and drinking, alcohol and firearms lead to tragedies, sometimes leaving it locked in the car is the best thing to do. I have seen way to many guns and alcohol/drugs "accidents".
"If it is predictable it is preventable"---Gordon Graham
"First rule of a gun fight is to have a gun"