Not that I care what people think, but...

Not that I care what people think, but...

This is a discussion on Not that I care what people think, but... within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; The highlight of my day today was getting to converse with some old friends I haven't seen in a while, one of whom just got ...

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Thread: Not that I care what people think, but...

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array Euclidean's Avatar
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    Dec 2004

    Unhappy Not that I care what people think, but...

    The highlight of my day today was getting to converse with some old friends I haven't seen in a while, one of whom just got back from the sandbox as a playmate amongst Uncle Sam's Misguided Children.

    One thing led to another and I had to account for my whereabouts and activities for the past year. I prattled it off, and I mentioned getting my CHL, buying a lot of guns I've always wanted, taking a class or three, and practicing regularly. I expressed this in about as many words in the conversation.

    Now like anyone else into this kind of thing I can prattle on for hours. But I use the internet for that. You guys understand that because you're the same way. But this time I didn't harp on it because I understand real firearms and real firearms usage is extremely boring to most people. When you start talking about why you wish Llama would polish their feed ramps a little better, most people's eyes glaze over.

    Do you know what they said to me, people who have known me since I was 15 years old, people who remember the secret society we founded in high school, people who remember our buddy who went to jail for beating his son, guys who know me as well as anyone?

    "I can't believe you've gone that far with this whole gun thing. You've gone overboard. No one needs that kind of practice."

    It's like I had told them I'd started smoking reefer and they were chastising me for it.

    First of all any sensible person should realize a combination of practice, training, education and better tools can only be good whether you're talking about guns, playing video games, or making your own beef jerky.

    They got off it, but not before reading me the riot act of gun safety. Gun Safety basically means not having more than two or three and not getting something stupid like a CHL apparently.

    I went away a little sad. They've changed, and so have I.

    It still doesn't sit well with me. I'm doing something I've always wanted to do since childhood and I'm trying to do it correctly. I've benefitted from it so much in such a short period of time. I know how much I don't know. I was able to help someone else who didn't know what to do when they needed to address their own personal security. I haven't done anything stupid and I doubt I ever will. I take this too seriously.

    I'm not the jerk here; I'm not the close minded baffoon. I'm not too proud to admit when I am wrong but neither am I too timid to admit when I'm right. I never criticized them for not taking interest in their own personal safety. They have no right.

    So why am I constantly finding myself criticized, shunned, and ostracized just because I think I have natural rights to my own well being and I assert them? How many other people am I going to be distanced from because of this?

    I've recently quit attending a church. Lots of people my own age, good folks there, but I couldn't agree with a lot of the things those people were saying in the sanctuary. They think I stopped coming over their criticisms of some hunks of wood and metal. They couldn't be more wrong.

    Now am I going to quit doing something just because other people shun me for it? Heck no.

    But it's making me somewhat miserable nonetheless here lately. It's a headache I don't deserve.

  2. #2
    Member Array Deke45's Avatar
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    Feb 2005
    Denver, CO
    Look at the title of your thread....why DO you give a rat's ass about what others long as you're doing what you perceive to be the right thing. People change...expect it, accept it...and move forward!

    Kimber Ultra CDP Elite STS II

    A gun is a tool...the real weapon is between your ears!

  3. #3
    Array QKShooter's Avatar
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    Dec 2004
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    All I can say is:
    You are right and they are wrong.
    One point though...there is never any need for you to lose friends over your personal decision to carry a firearm concealed.
    Just keep your firearm properly concealed and keep your two lips properly quiet about it.
    There is no need for anybody to know your personal business & nobody needs to know that you carry a firearm for personal protection.

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  5. #4
    VIP Member Array Bud White's Avatar
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    Dec 2004
    Away - Health Problems
    Well i know how that can be .. The old lady wonders why i pretty much keep to my self never was a big people person just did my own thing and screw what others think .... Same as i do today ... bet the boss wishes i was little less outspoken

  6. #5
    VIP Member (Retired Staff) Array P95Carry's Avatar
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    Mar 2005
    South West PA
    It is sad when the ''hype'' comes to the fore - as ever the ''why do you need that many''?? And ''You train - why''? etc. This of course allows them to pin the ''nut'' label - or ''freak'', whatever... as they see it.

    Some folks are on another wavelength and only see things it seems thu anti's eyes - or being charitable - the eyes of the ignorant (and vulnerable??!).

    Yep Euc, people change and it seems these folks have gotten hit with some Liberal pills - and their thinking process and logic has taken a hit. Doubt we can change that so - I guess - move on, shrug shoulders and do best to accept - tho that is hard with people you have known a long time.

    I could wax long on this but - hey - it's old and stale stuff we have heard and find regularly.

    I will just add the biker's fond expression and suggest you were a pin saying such .

    ''DILLIGAF'' (Tourist knows I am sure!)
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!." - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  7. #6
    Senior Member Array GoodSamaritan's Avatar
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    Dec 2004
    Central Kentucky
    Euclidean, I can sympathize with you. I know we should not care what others think, but lets face the facts. Sometimes we do. Especially if those people are important to us.
    People change, sometimes for the better, sometimes not. If they don't like the fact that you have taken an interest in personal safety, don't push them but don't back down either. Set a good example. When one of them has a coworker or friend who gets victimized by some goblin, guess who they will come to for answers.

    On a side note. When I started going to church, and cleaned up my life, "friends" quit coming around, and quit calling. It hurt. Still does sometimes. I never have been the kind to shove my beliefs down anyones throat either, so it wasn't that. Now that I have gotten my CCW, I have a few friends who know I have it, but there are others who will never know if I can keep it that way.

    As far as what happened in your church, please don't let it keep you away for long. The Bible isn't against self defense at all. I don't know what happened, nor am I going to ask because it isn't any of my business. But always remember that those who liked Jesus least, were among the most religious of their day.

  8. #7
    Member Array Fjolnirsson's Avatar
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    Mar 2005
    Oregon, the rainy part.
    I'm sorry to hear this, man. I know how you feel. I've lost many friends for exactly the same reasons. I've come to terms with the fact that many are simply brainwashed by the movies and liberal media. Too many are simply unable to think in a rational manner.
    When around folks not involved with RKBA, I keep my mouth shut unless someone seems interested, or I sense an open mind. These people, I try to educate and bring over to the dark side.
    The other option is to isolate myself from non-shooters, which only serves to strengthen the stereotypes.
    What's a guy gonna do?
    "Water can flow, or it can crash. Be like water, my friend."-Bruce Lee

    My Blog

    "Luck, often enough, will save a man if his courage does hold."

  9. #8
    VIP Member Array CLASS3NH's Avatar
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    Bob from Southern New Hampshire
    You're a good man. Some people change for the better, some for the worse. It seems some friends you knew long ago, changed their path. Stay true to your beliefs. what YOU believe in, as YOU trust in yourself. NEVER isolate yourself just because you have people in your life who don't see what you believe in.

  10. #9
    sm is offline
    Member Array sm's Avatar
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    May 2005
    So why am I constantly finding myself criticized, shunned, and ostracized just because I think I have natural rights to my own well being and I assert them? How many other people am I going to be distanced from because of this?
    I too have many folks that have chosen to distance themselves from me. Some even share the same last name. Today, I again stated for the record " I really do not have a family, those persons whom share the same last name as I made a choice, that it their right, and I have my rights as well".

    I was raised in an Era when folks took responsiblilty for themselves. Once personal responsiblity was taught in the home, and the schools. We were raised learning about Firearms, at home, and at school. Yep, we shot air rifles and BB guns at school. Ben Pearson provide archery equipment and we used the practice field. Kids and teachers brought their own Air / BB guns and Archery stuff to school.

    Sometimes we were interupted by the Civil Defense Drills, and the proper way to dial a telephone [ before 911 service] to report finding a Blasting Cap. [ Really concerned about us kids finding blasting caps back then]

    Today - one is discouraged from personal responsibity.Parents don't teach, Schools don't, Media does not. Instead the "indoctrination" involves letting the Gubmint take care of you...afterall the State knows best. *ahem*

    I "used to" have friends locally, and "used to" have folks that claimed to be related to me.

    Better to be alone and personally responsible, than to be a sheep and just follow the other sheep over the cliff.

    I have true 'family' and 'friends" of like minded nature I have met thru Forums such as this one.
    Use Enough Gun

  11. #10
    Former Member Array The Tourist's Avatar
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    Dec 2004

    I can probably be the best mentor for you at this time. Yes, you claim you don't care--and in the long run you won't--but you do have some hurt feelings, and that's the price you pay for being a good human being.

    I've lost three friends. And by 'friend' I mean the kind of guy you might meet once in your life--if you're lucky. I had three of these fine people. I lost two on principle and one on neglect. My experience is that it will hurt for a long time.

    I've known lots of fine women, and lost as many through foolishness. There is a divine plan, and I am where I belong. Trust that aspect. And it is worth finding her.

    The rest of life means nothing, in fact, less than nothing.

    Cars, boats and motorcycles can be replaced. New jobs can be found. Detractors are usually loud mouths, don't buy one word of their nonsense. You have an internal 'BS meter,' and when it goes off trust in that feeling rather than your opponent's prose.

    The loudest card in the deck will never, repeat never attack you, and if he does, just aim for center mass.

    Never, repeat never, hold one man as a guru. He can never be a true font. Turn to your spirituality. If a man raises himself, he does so on ego, and make sure you are never strapped to that potential train-wreck. Ask him at every turn to prove himself. Drop every, repeat every pretender like a red-hot skillet.

    Enjoy humor, especially self-effacing humor, glance at a well turned ankle once in a while, protect personal freedoms while the torrent is giving theirs away. Enjoy fine dining, learn how to appreciate good wine.

    Load your own ammo, sharpen your own knives and bloody your own knuckles. You'll make more mistakes, but then you like self-effacing humor.

    Tell people you love them while they are still here. Love your pets. Go hunting, not for game but to enjoy the company of men with solid values. Get plenty of exercize, as pain is nature's way of telling you weakness has left the body. Learn to turn from what people think, but care with deadly purpose on what you think.

    If you can suffer through a few decades of this crap, yes, you will care very little what people think. But you will care about important, meaningful individuals and you will not be swayed by rabble.

    I will tell you this, the men that I know who have achieved this in life have a nasty 'flint color' to their eyes. They have been wounded, fired, injured, imprisoned, scorned and homeless. Somehow they prosper, succeed, gain weight and find love and respect.

    The most dangerous man I know is 62 years old, and he has seen this all. Granted, with his errors, he can never be my guru. But he is a good man and I don't mind being rooked out a cold beer now and then.

    As for the rest of you, who cares what you think. You never mattered to me before. You never made an imprint.

  12. #11
    Senior Member Array GoodSamaritan's Avatar
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    Central Kentucky
    /\ WOW...

    I never knew bikers had such panache. . .

    Bravo Tourist

  13. #12
    Former Member Array The Tourist's Avatar
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    Dec 2004

    Thank you.

    You'll notice that I used the timetable of 'decades.' To really learn lessons, most of the valuable stuff gets forced upon you, repeatedly.

    You can point this out, but I never really listened, and while Euc seems to be a smarter man than I, he will undoubtedly teach himself these things.

    You can mentor, but you couldn't and ultimately shouldn't be a guru. There's enough idiots out there with their own infomercials.

    Tell him what you've learned.

  14. #13
    Lead Moderator
    Array rocky's Avatar
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    Jan 2005
    Luckily, my long time friends are all shooters and don't question my motives for CCw. A few have CCw permits too. Most folks I know don't even know I carry. The less ,the better .

  15. #14
    Senior Member Array tex45acp's Avatar
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    Dec 2004
    The Great State of Texas

    I feel your hurt. Mine is similar but different. A good friend, who received his CHL before I did, really chastised me about carrying more than one gun when he found out that I also carry a BUG. He believes that his primary CCW will "always" work properly. I was leaving his house one day and when I opened the door to my VW Jetta he saw my Kimber tucked away in the little cubby below my drivers side seat. Again, I was asked an almost criticizing question...."God Mike, do you carry everywhere????" My answer was a strong "anywhere it is legal". He just shook his head. I asked him..."when & where do you carry???" He said "only when we travel". I said to him "here in Texas you can travel armed under certain circumstances without a permit". Then I asked him when the last time he carried and actually practiced shooting and drawing his weapon. His response was "I have had my license for 5 years and I practice about twice a year shooting at targets. I have never practiced drawing my gun since I don’t carry it on my person in a holster...I keep it in the car in a zippered gun rug". I suggested he practice shooting and drawing at least from the gun rug. He then asked me how much I practice. I said at least twice a week!!!! His jaw hit the floor. "How do you do that" he asked "did you win the lottery and quit your job??" I said "no but I do have access to a gun range only 8 blocks away. I go there during my lunch hour at least twice a week". I hope that he took the hint!!!

    Keep in mind this guy is really pro CHL!!!! He just does not see the forrest for the trees. I will continue to try to educate him as much as I can in the hopes the he will better understand my reasoning for my methods of carry.
    The only thing needed for evil to exist is for good men to stand by and do nothing!!!

  16. #15
    VIP Member
    Array Betty's Avatar
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    My late grandmother Betty never liked me packing heat.

    When she hugged me at Thanksgiving, she ended up patting down my IWB handgun. "Betty, you take that off - we are all family here!"

    But that was the point. I wasn't carrying to put holes in my family - I was carrying to put holes in anyone wanting to harm me or my family. Even though the chances of anything happening may have been slim to none on that day or any day, Mr. Murphy says anything can happen. Most of the Wendt family was there that day. I wasn't about to have the obituary section a couple pages longer.

    On another day, when grandma casually said that she didn't approve of me carrying a gun, I asked bluntly, "would you rather I be beaten, raped or murdered instead?" She blinked and me blankly and after a minute said, "no, of course not."

    Most of my friends are pro-gun and carry guns. I really don't care to associate with anti-gun people. All I can do is shrug at those who don't understand - sometimes a long explanation as to Why doesn't help. While people are entitled to their opinion of me, I still don't like it when I'm called a baby-killing, racist, paranoid nut (and I've been called all those things), all because I own and carry a gun.

    The relatives closest to me - my mother, father, brother, sister-in-law - are all pro-gun. And that's all that really matters to me.
    "Americans have the will to resist because you have weapons. If you don't have a gun, freedom of speech has no power." - Yoshimi Ishikawa

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