My mom found out I CC...flipped her lid

My mom found out I CC...flipped her lid

This is a discussion on My mom found out I CC...flipped her lid within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Here is my problem. I am single and close to my parents, they only live an hour away and I see them often. Well, this ...

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Thread: My mom found out I CC...flipped her lid

  1. #1
    Member Array AirMech74's Avatar
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    My mom found out I CC...flipped her lid

    Here is my problem. I am single and close to my parents, they only live an hour away and I see them often. Well, this past weekend, my parents came up and stayed with me for a few days. They are having a house built so they come up here to OKC to do a lil shopping and to look at supplies, our first stop was Lowes...while in the store...my Mom came up beside me and was trying to get my attention and reached for my strong side and felt my snubby sitting in my waistband...she was not aware of my CCW. Well, the next morning, we were getting ready to head out to some furniture stores and i came into my kitchen and was met with a "are you wearing your gun?....Don't wear it, I don't like it, you don't need it"....well, i gave her my piece about the right to defend myself and not knowing what could happen, she persisted that I not wear it, she said it made her nervous knowing that i had it on me....being the good son...I chose to leave it at home that time.

    My mom is Korean, and doesn't really understand my reasoning for needing/wanting to keep a firearm on my person and she is very persistant and stubborn...my dad on the other had is cool with it and understands.....so here is my question....what would you guys have done and what would you do the next time? Like I said, i'm close to my parents and see them frequently. i'm gonna stuck between a rock and a hard place...i want to carry but I want to keep my mom at ease.
    Better to be tried by 12, than carried by 6

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  2. #2
    Senior Member Array darkvibe's Avatar
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    You and I are a lot different. I would have carried anyway. If it was their house then I would have left it home but they are in your house and should respect your wishes.

    Wish I could be more help. My parents gave me a $100 bill for xmas one year with a note that said it was for my pistol permit. :)

    Start sending her email with articles about senseless killings that would have been stopped if the victim was carrying. In return ask her to send you every article she can find about someone legally carrying having an accident.

    She won't find any and you'll find a ton. Best I can advise.

  3. #3
    Ex Member Array azchevy's Avatar
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    My mom did the same thing. I told her it is a lifestyle choice and I was an adult and made my decision. She told me that I couldn't wear it at her house so I told her I wouldn't be visiting.

    After the Cheshire, CT murders she is coming around now.

  4. #4
    Member Array AirMech74's Avatar
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    Well, i didn't wear it that one time, but I wore the rest of the time...she just didn't know...lol
    Better to be tried by 12, than carried by 6

    Aviation Machinist's Mate USN 93-97
    NAF Atsugi, Japan CVW 5
    CV62 USS Independence
    HS-12 Wyverns, VS-21 Fighting Redtails

  5. #5
    Senior Member Array Zundfolge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AirMech74 View Post
    My mom is Korean, and doesn't really understand my reasoning for needing/wanting to keep a firearm on my person...
    Why wouldn't a Korean understand the need for self defense?

  6. #6
    Distinguished Member Array SonofASniper's Avatar
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    I think your only problem is that your mom needs to understand that the apron strings were cut a long time ago and that you are a responsible, independant adult and not her little boy anymore.

    Good luck with that one. Mothers (and somedays mother in-laws) can be real tuff to deal with sometimes. Have patience.
    I will support gun control when you can guarantee all guns are removed from this planet. That includes military and law enforcement. When you can accomplish that, then I will be the last person to lay down my gun. Then I will carry the weapon that replaces the gun.

  7. #7
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    Each situation is different, parents are different. I understand someone saying you can't carry in My house, but outside of that , it's deal with it or I stay home. What's to happen every time you meet for lunch? Or they go somewhere with you? Are you going to have to leave your gun at home? It's your decision. Not saying what is right or wrong for you. But I would have to carry and if she wasn't comfortable with it, its education time or "deal with it , I'm carrying anyway".

  8. #8
    Distinguished Member Array Dakotaranger's Avatar
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    I explained why, my rules for when I'm carrying and the rules for when I draw ect. My mom asked what I thought about the VT deal I told her that's why I carry...I may loose but I want a chance to make it out of a bad situation
    "[T]he people are not to be disarmed of their weapons.
    They are left in full possession of them."

    Zacharia Johnson (speech in the Virginia Ratifying Convention,25 June 1778)"The best we can hope for concerning the people at large is that they be properly armed." ~Alexander Hamilton

  9. #9
    Member Array Ipack's Avatar
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    As I have heard before. "Always carry, never tell."
    "Remember the first rule of gunfighting..."have a gun""

  10. #10
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    I would very politely ask her if she feels you have the right to defend yourself against an attack or if she feels you should beg for mercy and hope for the best? Her answer to that question should steer you into what direction to travel next.

    If she feels or believes that it won't or can't happen to you or anyone of them, I would have to kindly explain to her that those feelings are not sensible or even rational.

    I would tell her that you do understand it is a common feeling held by those who do not know what to do in a situation like that or by those who keep their head in the sand and hope for the best. I would then kindly let her know that you don't subscribe to that way of thinking.

    I would also point out that those who get mugged, murdered, raped, assaulted or robbed, and failed to defend themselves, probably all have the same thing in common as she does... that it won't happen to them.

    You may point out the good doctor in Cheshire CT actually thought he was safe in his own home and that it wouldn't happen in that nice neighborhood and he lost his whole family to vicious torture, sexual assault and brutal murder. A wife and two daughters, gone forever because he was rather short sighted and didn't believe it could happen to them.

    Other than that, I'd say you have to give it some time and encourage her to ask you questions about it. You may also have your dad take some time to explain some things to her back at home.

    You might point out that the state of Oklahoma ONLY allows responsible, crime free, upstanding citizens to be licensed to carry a gun.

    The state must have the safety of the public at large as a chief concern and you have proven to the state that you are mature enough and level headed enough to be trusted with a ccw license.

    Bottom line... I would make it quite clear that you do not intend to live you life as a
    -Bark'n
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    "The gun is the great equalizer... For it is the gun, that allows the meek to repel the monsters; Whom are bigger, stronger and without conscience, prey on those who without one, would surely perish."

  11. #11
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    Tuff one for sure... especially with moms!

    I think I'd have to stand my ground and tell her that I understood her concerns but I still choose to carry.

    Then run like hell!
    ALWAYS carry! - NEVER tell!

    "A superior Operator is best defined as someone who uses his superior
    judgement to keep himself out of situations that would require a display of his
    superior skills."

  12. #12
    Ex Member Array BikerRN's Avatar
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    Mom's can be tough to deal with, ask me how I know.
    My Mom has dealt with me carrying for over twenty years, and in and out of Law Enforcement. She still wishes I didn't carry, but accepts it.
    I would sit down and explain to Mom that you are doing nothing illegal and that you choose to carry in the event that you may have to protect your life from someone using Deadly Force against you, that you didn't cause.
    It's like the fire exstinquisher in the kitchen, better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.

    Biker

  13. #13
    VIP Member Array peacefuljeffrey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AirMech74 View Post
    Well, the next morning, we were getting ready to head out to some furniture stores and i came into my kitchen and was met with a "are you wearing your gun?....Don't wear it, I don't like it, you don't need it"....well, i gave her my piece about the right to defend myself and not knowing what could happen, she persisted that I not wear it, she said it made her nervous knowing that i had it on me....being the good son...I chose to leave it at home that time.
    Give in once, and she'll expect that she'll be able to make you give in always. I would reverse course immediately and inform her that she does not get to make decisions where your own ability to protect your own life is concerned.

    so here is my question....what would you guys have done and what would you do the next time? Like I said, i'm close to my parents and see them frequently. i'm gonna stuck between a rock and a hard place...i want to carry but I want to keep my mom at ease.
    Why your mom is nervous about YOU carrying, well, only you or she can answer. But a mom shouldn't be worried about what her own son might do. So I would say that keeping your mom "at ease" by disarming should be out of the question. The simple reason: you have to be unarmed to do it. Do you really want to be disarming to give someone else a totally false, foundationless sense of well-being?

    Time to put your foot down. You are a sovereign human being; you should be making this decision for yourself, regardless of what your mom thinks about gun carrying. Her decision can govern HER: she has the option of not carrying a gun herself. That's enough.

  14. #14
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AirMech74 View Post
    Here is my problem. i want to carry but I want to keep my mom at ease.
    It's her choice for her to remain ill at ease. She must come to the realization there is evil in the world. She must come to the realization you're prepared for it, even if she prefers (apparently) that you not be. You can help her down that road, of course, and how you go about that will depend wholly on your relationship with her, her disposition and intellect, and her willingness to keep an open mind on a subject she apparently doesn't understand.

    Same problem, here. My mother's mind is so clouded with "anti" mentality that she cannot even properly appreciate the need some folks see. My carrying is wrong, she's against it, she doesn't see the need, she wants me to remove them from my life. Yet, she knows I won't ever do that, so she's willing to ignore it, because the only alternative is for her displeasure to become the cause of friction.

    But I know that has come at a price. I feel some distance from her, over this topic and what it's done to her. She realizes that I won't allow this to be used as a lever-arm to force me to alter reality or my conception of it merely to suit her preference. I'd like to think discussions with her have shown that being prepared for reality is worthy of some respect, for its rationality and conclusions, which are (in my opinion) inescapable. In the end, though, she's forced to live with it and any problem she has with it.

    Does that make it pleasant? No. Does it mean the issue is dead? No. Is she any more comfortable about it? No, since her plan is to ignore it to avoid feeling rotten about the situation.

    In your case, I hope your family is at least one step closer to reasonableness than this. I don't know them. Your mother sounds traditional in her trust of humankind. She seems to have a typical avoidance of the simple reality that there's evil people in the world for no good reason. The newspaper stories that appear almost daily can be a dramatic source of awakening, if used well. There is simply no escaping the audacity, degree of violence and the randomness that today's violent criminals seem to display. You're attempting to be prepared for that, in much the sense that you also have rope, light, fire extinguisher, AAA membership for automobile trips, a spare tire, and so on. This is no different, despite being the last, ultimate, deadly tool in case the worst things happen. I'd like to think that if you can help here see that this tool is little different from the other, similar tools used for safety and security, she might come around to accept the simplicity of your decisions.

    Good luck.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
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  15. #15
    Senior Member Array joleary223's Avatar
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    OKC is not exactly Disney World. Does she watch the news or read the paper? http://www.cityrating.com/citycrime....+City&state=OK
    CRIME..... LAW DEFINES, POLICE ENFORCE, CITIZENS PREVENT!

    FOUR BOXES KEEP US FREE: [1] SOAP [2] BALLOT [3] JURY [4] AMMO!

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