Need some help in explaining things

This is a discussion on Need some help in explaining things within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Originally Posted by AutoFan What I am trying to say is if you love someone, you'll work on the relationship unless there is some issue ...

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Thread: Need some help in explaining things

  1. #76
    Member Array mrshonts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AutoFan
    What I am trying to say is if you love someone, you'll work on the relationship unless there is some issue that is a deal breaker. For my wife and I, differing positions on self defense wasn't that deal breaker. It may be for Betty and MrShonts.

    I'm sorry if this replay is kind of fragmented, but I wanted to express how my life's experiences shaped my defense philosophy and how I am still trying to influence my friends and family. Hope it helped.
    I appreciate everyones viewpoints on this and I do believe it has helped me see things in a different perspective. In my opinion this issue is not a deal breaker since Betty and I have worked it out. In the beginning I did not fully understand where she was coming from but now that we have talked about it and gotten others thoughts on this I do understand where she is coming from and respect her for it.
    (I just love using the dancing banana too much!!)

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  3. #77
    Member Array spacemanspiff's Avatar
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    you can either love the banana or fear the weapons. cannot do both without someone mentioning 'freud' at some point.

    :)

  4. #78
    Member Array mrshonts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spacemanspiff
    you can either love the banana or fear the weapons. cannot do both without someone mentioning 'freud' at some point.

    :)
    Freud was a very unusal man.....to say the least. Although I did enjoy reading many of his books and reviewing many of his theories!!

  5. #79
    Member Array Fjolnirsson's Avatar
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    I think it may be time for a banana intervention. We're concerned about you, Mr Shonts, concerned that you may be in over your head. It seems as though all you want to do lately is dance with the banana. Too much banana is bad for anyone. Are you abusing the banana?
    "Step away from the banana, and nobody gets hurt!"

    "Water can flow, or it can crash. Be like water, my friend."-Bruce Lee

    My Blog

    "Luck, often enough, will save a man if his courage does hold."

  6. #80
    Member Array mrshonts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fjolnirsson
    I think it may be time for a banana intervention. We're concerned about you, Mr Shonts, concerned that you may be in over your head. It seems as though all you want to do lately is dance with the banana. Too much banana is bad for anyone. Are you abusing the banana?
    "Step away from the banana, and nobody gets hurt!"

    well as long as I feel like I'm a but if you disagree then you get :chairshot
    Now for my army

    (sorry, but guys like me get a kick out of these little graphics)

  7. #81
    Member Array Fjolnirsson's Avatar
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    I've been trying to find a post to use the little sign holding fellows down at the bottom of the page, but so far, no luck. I have to say, this site has the best assortment of smileys I've seen so far.

    "Water can flow, or it can crash. Be like water, my friend."-Bruce Lee

    My Blog

    "Luck, often enough, will save a man if his courage does hold."

  8. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by spacemanspiff
    i must not have eaten my wheaties today. tourist, i can't quite decipher what your point is. are you saying that betty should just be happy she has someone interested in her and she should make sacrifices to maintain that interest? what does your taste in women have to do with this? what role does your neighbors have either? or your church?

    i'm so lost.....
    If Wheaties would help I would try some. I haven't been able to decipher most of Tourist's posts. So, you can't be lost, at least I'm with ya....
    Bumper
    Coimhéad fearg fhear na foighde; Beware the anger of a patient man.

  9. #83
    Former Member Array The Tourist's Avatar
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    Boy, only you guys can make reading a post the difficult part.

    I drew a parallel. My wife was a blue-state, liberal WEAC-union, yellow dog Democrat when I met her. Rather, when my brother met her, and then I stole her from him.

    I set no motives. No agenda. I didn't envision her as 'raw material' nor did I portend to be putty for her to mold.

    Argue, yes. We broke up six times before we were married.

    But, we each led by example, not by ultimatums and deadlines. After several years, my wife went shooting, and shortly after fell in love with her first gun, a nickel plated Charter Arms Bulldog in .44 Special. A hideous gun I cannot shoot but works great for her.

    Now this is simple. The woman, i.e., my wife, was the important thing. The girl, the woman, the yin to my yang. Not what she was or what she was to become.

    And with her care, I can now order from a four-star menu, in English, by connecting as many as four words strung together without one of them rhyming with 'luck.'

    I believe Betty likes this guy, and he likes her. She has more guns and more expertise. She has pointed him in a direction of learning, yikes, leave it at that.

    I am looking at this puzzle from the other end--and that is 33 years down the pike. The woman is more than the lofty ideals I could have twisted her into.

    Now, I also pointed out something to make her think. What if there is something about her that is the deal-breaker. What if he came to her and said something--anything--about her that he felt needed change. How would her ego feel if a personal aspect of her life was 'unattractive' to him?

    Example. I don't think motorcycles have ever been important to my wife. In fact, when we needed money for a down payment on a house, tens of thousands of dollars had been dumped into chrome over the years.

    When I felt it was time to hang it up, I sat down with my wife to talk about this major lifestyle change. She said her piece. Then she said that the final decision was mine; she was there to support me in my endeavors, not to take things away. I rode for another year before the bike was sold. It was time, and my wife aided me, but would not demand.

    As we prospered the Harleys came back, in fact, lots of toys followed. And as they did, I always felt comfortable in giving her the freedom to follow any trail she chose. I have never had one of those "over my dead body" speechs.

    I cannot make it simpler than that.

  10. #84
    Senior Member Array Tom357's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrshonts
    I should have clarified my position more clearly when I stated that I find guns scary. I am scared of when I am carrying the possibility of it going off if I were to trip and fall or if someone sees me carrying and they grab for it (although it is slim to none in happening). I will just always have that thought in the back of my mind until I get comfortable with carrying...
    Ah. Thanks for the clarification. Hopefully, you will always have that thought in the back of your mind. Those are reasonable concerns, and ones those of us who carry all share. Accidental/negligent discharge should be a concern, but not a cause for fear. Retention should be a concern, but again, not a cause for fear. Your concern about accidental discharge is best addressed by your chosen platform and method of carry. Your concern about retention is not an unreasonable one, especially in your work environment. You are close to lots of people.

    Like you, I don't have a lot of disposable income to spend on weapons. Most of my money goes to support my family. I consider their defense part of that support. While I can't afford to be a collector, I have chosen what I consider to be the best, safest platforms I could afford. I haven't gotten as much training in retention as I would like, though. This is a subject I think warrants more attention than it receives. Good luck. I'm glad you've made the decision to carry.
    - Tom
    You have the power to donate life.

  11. #85
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    Tourist,

    Apparently you hadn't been following thread thoroughly, because you're too interested in comparing my apples to your off-topic, tangent oranges.

    And this is mrshonts' banana.

    If you still don't get the point of this thread, I can't help you. But I will say: stop degenerating this thread to suit your own whim and so you can insert something about motorcycles, bichons, and past girlfriends, like you're the only one who has learned anything about the mistakes you have made in the past.

    We're talking about a difference in opinion on personal safety here, and if you want to talk about what we're going to look like when we get older, or if mrshonts will tolerate my crocheting abilities fifty years down the line, start your own thread and soapbox there. I know from my experience in dealing with you, when I've told you to cease and desist it'll be your perfect excuse to point your finger and claim the fault lies with Moderator authority abuse, when in reality it's all convenient to you because you have gone so off-topic you're being called out on it (yet again) and you're grasping at air.

    What if he came to her and said something--anything--about her that he felt needed change. How would her ego feel if a personal aspect of her life was 'unattractive' to him?
    We've already been there and done that. I won't discuss the topics, because that'll cause you to ramble on for a neverending bandwidth again, and that's not the point of this thread. We worked them out. Period. A relationship is sometimes made out of making small compromises because two people are never exactly alike. Duh.

    But, we each led by example, not by ultimatums and deadlines.
    There are always lines in the sand. Would you cheat on your wife? Hopefully not. That's a line in the sand. Break that, and you could could face a divorce, but I suppose if you believe there shouldn't be ultimatums, you'd expect to get away scott-free. Personal safety is very important to me. He knows that, and we both want a middle ground on the subject of travel. I asked that mrshonts respect the fact that I do not want to travel to vacation destinations where I cannot carry, and offered a middle ground solution - go to equally fun places where I can carry. I can try to convince mrshonts, but I cannot and have no desire to force him. I highly respsect him and would never force him to do anything. He is his Own Man. I can, however, if I determine mrshonts not compatible enough for any number of reasons, go find someone else.

    You interject your deep thoughts where they are completely unwarranted, and in the process, you have implied that I am superficial, fickle, unneccessarily harsh and undeserving. And that, Tourist, is competely insulting. You have no idea what my relationship to mrshonts is like, what serious topics we have discussed, what our plans for the future are, and what we have done to maintain our relationship. You don't know what a hard journey it has been to find anyone even remotely like mrshonts, how incredibly happy I am with him, how much I care about him, and the promises we have made to each other, and therefore how insulting it is for you to step in, completely ignorant of all of the above, and dispense "advice" and degrade me.

    You owe me an apology.
    Last edited by Betty; June 8th, 2005 at 11:41 AM.
    "Americans have the will to resist because you have weapons. If you don't have a gun, freedom of speech has no power." - Yoshimi Ishikawa

  12. #86
    Member Array mrshonts's Avatar
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  13. #87
    Former Member Array The Tourist's Avatar
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    We obviously view this topic, as many others, from differing points. We must agree to disagree. I'm not going to endanger our civil discourse in any further manner. I would like some serious time away from this thread.

  14. #88
    Member Array Moondoggie's Avatar
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    Mr Shonts;

    I think the feelings you describe about being "scared" of a weapon going-off accidentally if dropped or if you stumble & fall is a GOOD thing. I've been handling firearms alot starting at age 6 or so. At the ripe old age of 52, I still have the same mindset with a firearm in my hand as I would if I were holding a rattlesnake just behind it's head......it has my undivided attention until safely put away!!!

    When you select your carry gun, be sure to take the mechanical safety features into consideration. Most 1911's, for instance, have a grip safety in addition to the thumb safety so they're unlikely to discharge if dropped. Another step toward becoming "comfortable" (if that's the correct word) with your pistol of choice is to fire several thousand rounds through it. Every aspect of your carry piece should be ingrained as second nature..strong hand, weak hand, in the dark, using a light; I'm sure you get the picture.

    Think of it as learning to drive at the NASCAR level instead of just the commuter level.
    If you ain't the lead dog, the view never changes.

  15. #89
    Member Array scratchy wilson's Avatar
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    My feeble input

    Don't know if this fits in anywhere, but have you looked into non resident carry permits? Might open up some states to you. Read somewhere that if you have a Florida and a Utah(think the author possesed either Texas or Arizona permit) CCW, that combination is good for something like thirty states.

    Hope this helps.




    Sorry, I just had to!

  16. #90
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    I think you are right. Arizona (or Texas) and Utah and Florida gets you 32 states if I remember correctly....
    Bumper
    Coimhéad fearg fhear na foighde; Beware the anger of a patient man.

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