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You Never Know How People Will React

3K views 32 replies 33 participants last post by  Arkie 
#1 ·
As we permit holders carry our guns through a curious and conflicted world, we are forced to consider the reactions of others to the presence of our weapon. For most of us, concealed means concealed, but for one reason or another, the reach for something on the top shelf, the laws of the state, the tripping and falling or the failure of a holster, reveal our carry status to the world and we are forced to confront the reactions of others whether they be good or bad.

We hope for the good though too often we get confronted with the bad, and even the police.

Here in Virginia there is an ordinance that says one can not carry concealed into any establishment that serves alcohol for consumption. One must either leave his weapon at home or open carry. Neither of which are optimal choices for the individual resolved to defend himself.

Since we moved down here I have joined a writer's group and met two great ladies who offered their friendship to me. One is a reporter, the other is an editor. We all agreed to go out to lunch together today and it was determined that I would drive, one would choose the restaurant and the other would come along for the ride.

I picked the girls up and away we went to what my friend had described as a sandwich shop. I had not expected a sandwich shop to serve alcohol, but when I pulled into the driveway, I saw one of the signature beer neon signs in the window and knew I was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Either I try to disarm discreetly and lock my gun in the car safe or open carry for lunch. Either way, my new found friends (neither of which I had discussed guns with) would probably find out as it was pouring down rain and they wouldn't be getting out of the car until the last minute and they probably would wonder why I was sitting in the car and letting them stand in the pouring rain waiting for me.

So, I did the only thing I could think to do.

I turned around and said, "Well, I'm going to be straight with you. I carry a gun. And by Virginia law I have to carry it openly or not at all in any establishment that sells alcohol for consumption. I just didn't want you to be alarmed if I take off my sweater and you see a gun."

They both stared at me for about three seconds and then the editor said, "You know, I want to talk to you about that because I was really hoping to learn how to shoot and possibly get a permit myself."

The reporter smiled and said, "My dad and my brother both have their carry permits in Ohio. I'm fine with it."

I snuck into the restaurant doing one of the classic "concealing/open" carry methods we Virginians have discovered (i.e. draping your coat or sweater over your arm and therefore the gun). I sat in the corner with my gun side to the wall, and while leaving I walked against the wall to protect my gun from view. I honestly don't think that anyone saw it the whole time.

In fact, while we were leaving, my reporter friends said, "What kind of gun is that anyway? It looks really neat. I would like to tell my brother what it is."

We had some great conversation about guns and concealed weapons as well and both of the gals expressed interest in learning how to shoot. One talked about how much she's always wanted to go hunting and possibly get her permit to carry.

You never do know how people are going to react to the news that you have a gun, and when it's positive it's a pretty big relief.

I know there are people out there who preach the "never tell" method of carry, and that's fine, but I'm an open person and I probably would not have been able to keep my interest in firearms quiet for very long. Even if I didn't tell them I carried I would end up talking about guns anyway, and hopefully invite them to come shooting. This just broke the ice a little early and all turned out well.

Hopefully we may not only have two more shooters in the world soon, but possibly one, if not two more carriers as well.
 
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#2 ·
Good story. I've had to "break the news" to a couple of people, and you're right. You never know how they'll respond. One girl ended up going shooting with me a few weeks later (her first time ever to fire a gun). Another told me it made her uncomfortable, and wouldn't talk about it. Curiously that one had no problem with me being armed later on when one of her drunk neighbors knocked on the door and then refused to leave...
 
#5 ·
Glad it worked out for you, even better than expected. I've never had to face that situation (yet), though I've tried to "game" some of the scenarios and my responses. Only my family know I carry, they were told early on as I expected them to find out anyway (hugs, whatever) and I wanted to control the situation.

I guess we all dread some people reactions when in reality they may be interested in getting a CCW themselves. Or even already have one! Wouldn't that have been a pleasant surprise if one or both of your passengers would have been in the same situation and had to go "open" for lunch :)
 
#7 ·
Nice job Lima - and while yes, we do most of us excercize the ''not tell'' approach there are for sure situations where for one reason or another we have to 'come clean'.

Glad to say in PA as you know - none of this silly OC in alcohol establishment but - I recall helping my son outside his place a few years ago - shifting stuff, sweating like heck and taking off my shirt. His in-laws appeared while this was going on and they did not know previously - but of course saw my piece then.

Fortunately after a few simple interest questions all was fine and no hassles but - as ever, we do not always know what to expect if we have to come clean. Sounds like you well may have two new ''recruits" :smilez:
 
#8 ·
Nice story, typical of the Lima novels. :wink:

It sounds like you did more than the whole gun thing, you made a stronger friendship with your new pals.

I hope your tapping into their resources as writers...
 
#9 ·
The 'Virginia tuck' is something we all have to deal with in the old Dominion.

As to peoples reactions, they'll run from those who don't even notice, those that are OK with it, those who are nervous (buy won't say anything) with it, to the ones who are anti & who won't deal with it very well.

In most cases, you can chose your companions when dining.....so they'll most likely be OK with it....... After all, we chose our friends.......You're more likely to experience family who have issues with carrying, more than with your friends. (most of my friends carry)

Lima, I also liked your comment about 'we Virginians'........I'm glad you feel at home here.
 
#10 ·
I'm sure the butterflies were flapping their wings in the ol tummy. I'm glad it turned out well. That's one crazy law. Not only does it make no sense, but anyone that you know in there is going to know you carry a gun. My whole family doesnt even know I carry..
 
#11 ·
Here in Virginia there is an ordinance that says one can not carry concealed into any establishment that serves alcohol for consumption. One must either leave their weapon at home or open carry. Neither of which are optimal choices for the individual resolved to defend themselves....

I know there are people out there who preach the "never tell" method of carry, and that's fine, but I'm an open person and I probably would not have been able to keep my interest in firearms quite for very long.

Well done! I wish Tennessee had even Virginia's "no-concealed-where-alcohol-is-served" provision. Here, we cannot carry at all in an establishment that serves alcohol for consumption on the premises, period. Every year we try to change it, and every year Mr. Naifeh, our House Speaker, shoots it down for his friends/contributors in the restaurant industry.

As for the "never tell" notion, there isn't much one can do if the law dictates otherwise.

Congratulations on your new-found stronger ties with your friends! :hand10:
 
#14 ·
My wife and I dine out with 2 other couples once or twice a week, almost always in alcohol-serving restaraunts; I always open carry. All three couples are Jewish. One couple both have their permits but just carry concealed handguns in their cars (he and I belong to the same gun club) and have no problem at all with me carrying. The second couple is our Rabbi and his wife, who are rabid antis. She once stated as fact that most gun owners are killed by being shot with their own firearms! I have been open carrying at these dinners for about two years, and I don't think they (Rabbi and wife) have ever noticed! I know they'd say something if they did.

It's just a game I play to see how long I can go without them noticing. When I'm outed, I'll tell you all about it; it should be colorful. Like Lima says, we Virginians find ways to conceal even when open carrying: walk at the back of the group, carry a sport coat or jacket draped over the arm on the strong side, keep the strong side turned away from them during standing conversation, "forget" to go open until reaching the table. It takes inventivness and quick thinking; that's the fun of it.
 
#16 ·
As I was reading the OP I was thinking "uh-oh" when I read about lunch with the ladies........ "editor and reporter". I was initially concerned that they might be anti's, and it made me smile when I read further and they were very supportive of you. I think they may have been a bit envious too :smile:

Good informative post, and I think you handled it very well. I'm thrilled that you shared your interest with them. I'm counting on two more pro-gun voters. :image035:
 
#17 ·
As I was reading the OP I was thinking "uh-oh" when I read about lunch with the ladies........ "editor and reporter". I was initially concerned that they might be anti's, and it made me smile when I read further and they were very supportive of you. I think they may have been a bit envious too
She didn't say which gun magazine they work for...


Hey Lima, youmight want to check out:

http://opencarry.mywowbb.com/forum54/

for all manner of discussion involving open carry in VA.
 
#18 ·
Lol! Typical Lima Novel. Glad it worked out for you. I tried that method once(not by choice). I happened to be out with someone I had been dating for only a couple of weeks and had not planned that particular stop. Needless to say I discovered rather quickly that she was terrified of guns and anyone that carried them. There was no chance at logical discourse. All conversation turned to irrational drivel. That one obviously didn't last:rolleyes:.

There are times I really wish we didn't have to come up with the VA Tuck.
 
#19 ·
I'd rather find out sooner than later. Sounds like the "VA Tuck" did you a favor by "outing" your anti-gf.

I have open carried a couple times to places like this and I have even open carried at my friends apartment and he didn't notice...or if he did he didn't let on at all (but hes not the type to not mention it).

Its scary how oblivious people can be sometimes.
 
#20 ·
Good story with a great outcome Lima! Sounds like you not only picked good people to be friends with but, you probably made the new friendship stronger by being open and honest with them.

I have had to do much the same thing a time or two and it has been my experience that being up front and honest about it works out very well. Trying to hide it often makes people feel uncomfortable and sometimes hurts their feelings, as if you didn't think them intelligent enough to handle the realization that their friend carries a gun for self protection.

Honesty is always best. You did the right thing.

A quick story for you, my daughter plays on a fall softball league and her best friend is on her team. The girls mother and father a good people but always struck me and my wife as non-gun type people.

When I got accepted into the range assistant program at RangeUSA I was talking about it to my wife while we were at my daughters softball practice. The mother overheard and asked if I had gotten a new job. So, I decided to just open up and tell her what I was talking about and in the process, as I expected, she asked if I had a permit to carry. My wife and I both answered that we did and in fact carried all the time. Now, I was half expecting her to be shocked and to react poorly to the news. But, while she was surprised, she was very interested and asked many questions. When her husband showed up she told him and we answered many more questions. By the time practice was over, they were both talking about going to shoot and flirting with the idea of taking the permit class.

I saw them today come into the range and shoot while I was working there. :hand10: She (the mother) had never fired a gun before. They have a .22 revolver and a .22 rifle now and say they will move up to a 9mm when they are completely comfortable with the .22. I think they are going about it the right way. And they want to go shooting with us the next time we all go.

You just never know how someone will react, but it is always best to be open and honest. At least that is my philosophy.
 
#22 ·
Great job Lima--I'm glad it worked out for you...you were between a rock and a hard place. Hopefully your new friends will know enough to be discreet regarding your carry status...especially around people you do not know yet.

I can't wait until the "VA tuck" goes away--maybe this upcoming year?
 
#24 ·
Ok, not to stray too far away, but this has raised a question for me. I carry a S&W 442, as I can pocket carry it with anything. To me, it is the best carry method I have tried for years, and is lighter than the full size .45 or .357. Revolver in one pocket, speed loader in the other.

Question: What do you do in the case where you have a small pocket revolver/pistol, that the only way you could open carry would be in a version of "mexican carry"? There seems like no "Virginia Tuck" method for pocket carry.
 
#27 ·
Excellent story. GIves those of us who are newer to CCW something to think about and options for handling what will be new situations for us.

Thanks!
 
#29 ·
I am currently attending a weight lost center. The first day, not thinking that I would have to leave the SIG in the car, they wanted to measure us and weigh us ("us" being my girlfriend and I). I politely told her, "Just to let you know, I am legally carrying a concealed handgun and I need to take it off or else it'll effect the measurements. She said, "hey, thats okay." After I got off the scale, she asked, "so why do you carry?" I told her "for the same reasons that every hard-working American should, to protect myself and my loved ones and lets face it, a cop can't be everywhere all the time." She was intrigued and got interested in it as well. Every time I go for my weigh in, she has a new question.
 
#32 ·
I like it.

I am from IN but have a house (that is for sale) in Austin, TX. My permit is from IN but recognized in TX.

I have recently had to have contractors do some extensive work on it to get it ready to sell. While down there on a visit and working with the contractors, I had to help these "workers" lift part of a porch support to replace a support. Arms over head, my IWB revolver handle was apparently exposed. One of the workers putting shims under the post was apparently alarmed and didn't speak English (His boss told me later he was new to the country).

His boss, Jorge, and I had a pretty good discussion about it. As it turns out, he was carrying a .380 at the time too. He told me that he explained the deal to his worker and all was ok. I asked him if his labor force knew he carried. They did not. We became pals, sorta. So I asked him if he was carrying legally. He proudly told me he was a legal US citizen and believed in the constitution. He had his TX liscense. He admitted, however, that not all his "guys" were here legally. He was just an employee of the company himself.

I felt proud of him and America. A great state of TX too. I miss living there.
 
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