My wife is finally coming around

This is a discussion on My wife is finally coming around within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; I've only been carrying in earnest (from wake until bedtime where ever it's legal) for a couple months. Before that, I had had my permit ...

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Thread: My wife is finally coming around

  1. #1
    Member Array ree's Avatar
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    Smile My wife is finally coming around

    I've only been carrying in earnest (from wake until bedtime where ever it's legal) for a couple months. Before that, I had had my permit for several months but only carried sporadically while getting comfortable with the concept.

    Well, when I started carrying all the time, my wife didn't disapprove, but she did make an occasional comment questioning why all-the-time when I've never been nearly so consistent about a lot of other things.

    Finally, this evening we stopped by our storage unit after dinner. It's just outside of suburbia where things are more rural and isolated. The place has cameras up the wazoo, but with no one around, it can seem a bit creepy. She asked, "are you armed?" I said simply, "yes," and I could feel her being happy I was. Now I think she appreciates that I'm always carrying...just in case.

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  3. #2
    AMH
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    When my wife and I first started dating I was living in the barracks and consequently couldn’t have weapons in my quarters, let alone carry on post. But I let her know what my feeling about weapons where. Initial she kind of blew it off and agreed with what I was saying.

    A few years later when we married and got our own place I brought all the guns I had in storage at my parent’s house. She was pretty freaked out, as though we never had the conversation years prior. I starting carrying on a regular basis and this freaked her out more.

    We live in a less than desirable place and there as been several situations where I had to un-holster my weapon or grab the shotgun from behind the bed. Fortunately I never had to draw down on someone (and I truly hope I never have to). All situations turned out just fine and thankfully nobody was harmed.

    She is now thankful that I carry. I also study martial arts and am certified in First Aid and CPR (both adult and pediatric). I take pride in knowing that I can defend and protect my family if needed. And my wife (and her parents) finds great comfort in it.

    Hopefully your wife will do a 180. The best thing I did to help convince my wife is take her to the range. She now loves to shoot and wants a Lady Derringer!

    Have you taken your wife shooting yet? She may just like it!!
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    The Second Amendment has nothing to do with hunting. It is about keeping the government in check. This requires that the citizenry is well armed and at all times has immediate access to arms.

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    Member Array ree's Avatar
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    She actually has a permit and knows how to shoot. In fact she's even carried a little because of a "little situation" we were having, but resented that she had to resort to protecting herself in that way.

    She's intellectually on board, but she hasn't let the irrational/emotional barriers slide fully away yet. And she'll acknowledge that she gets it but can't totally feel comfortable about it all.

    So I view tonight as her getting one step closer.

  5. #4
    AMH
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    Sounds like you are well on your way! Actually further along than my wife, she refuses to get a CPL.

    I view it kind of kind of like getting a child over her fear of dogs. If you force her she will become traumatized and it will be counter productive. The school of small steps is necessary here. Gentle desensitization and exposure. Just be kind, understanding, and respectful of her feelings.
    Join the NRA!
    The Second Amendment has nothing to do with hunting. It is about keeping the government in check. This requires that the citizenry is well armed and at all times has immediate access to arms.

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    VIP Member Array BigEFan's Avatar
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    Guys, I have a wife who has been authorized to carry for nearly 4 years and has always resisted until recently. Encourage her but by all means never attempt to force it. Forcing it will allow her to resent you and blame you instead of the gun and you don't want that. If they are not totally opposed then they will come around but let it be on their clock and at their pace.

    Good luck to both of you.

    P.S. This thread is most suited for a response from LimaTunes so prepare yourself for her novella. While it is sure to be lengthy, she will have some great insight and I recommend you give her thoughts significant consideration ;)
    Lex et Libertas — Semper Vigilo, Fortis, Paratus, et Fidelis!

    "Not only do the people who put their lives on the line to protect the rest of us deserve better, we all deserve better than to have our own security undermined by those who undermine law enforcement." -Thomas Sowell

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    Member Array DarinD's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=BigEFan;519876] Encourage her but by all means never attempt to force it. Forcing it will allow her to resent you and blame you instead of the gun and you don't want that. If they are not totally opposed then they will come around but let it be on their clock and at their pace.

    A+ on that advice!!! That is something that all of us guys tend to forget. This is something that I am also encountering with my wife. Thank you for the thread and for the advice.

    D

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    Member Array ree's Avatar
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    I'm definitely not pushing her. I know from 14 years of marriage that that doesn't work.

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    VIP Member Array tns0038's Avatar
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    The first time I went back to my wife’s place, she did not notice as I took the Walter PPKs from the small of my back and placed it on a chair I covered with my jacket.

    Today some 20 years later, without question she knows that when I leave the house I am armed.

    While she takes great conformed knowing I know how to handle myself, she does not have the mindset of your wife’s. And for that reason, you all are fortunate, to have a wife that is interested in getting their CCL, and has the frame of mind that would allow them to utilize a firearm if the need should arrive.

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    My wife will not carry, that is just her nature. There is nothing wrong with that and I respect her decision. Making her do something that is against her nature would be a mistake. She does however like the fact that I carry and that is all I ask for.
    One reason I carry 24/7 as the saying goes is because you just never know where you might end up during the course of your day. Surveillance cameras are great for getting a nice grainy video of you being killed as far as I am concerned but they stop nothing.

    I see you are from MN too. Nice to hear from a fellow Minnesotan.
    DEMOCRACY IS TWO WOLVES AND A LAMB VOTING ON WHAT TO HAVE FOR LUNCH. LIBERTY IS A WELL ARMED LAMB CONtestING THE VOTE.

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    VIP Member Array Supertac45's Avatar
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    My wife packs.
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  12. #11
    Member Array Dusty Miller's Avatar
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    My wife thinks I'm an All-American fruitcake for just WANTING a carry permit.

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    Senior Member Array wvshooter's Avatar
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    Eight months ago I didn't own a gun. Until five months ago my wife had never shot a gun. Now we both pack heat ALL THE TIME!!!

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