Paranoid?

[KenpoTex]

I'll more or less echo what some others have said:

1. Women are not to be underestimated, some of the nastiest fights I've seen were between, or involving women.

2. In this particular case, I think you may have overreacted (at least mentally). You have to consider the specific circumstances. The way I react to a clean-cut, well groomed guy; or a little old lady at 3:00 in the afternoon will not necessarily be the way I'd react to a shifty looking guy at 2:00 in the morning. I'm NOT saying that you can judge by appearance alone but the context of the situation will influence how I handle the contact.

[DefensiveCarry.com]

[Gamisou]

I "war-game" all day long. While driving: "What if that car stopped suddenly?" At a red light: "What would I do if someone suddenly tried to get in the car?" At the bank: "What would I do if someone came in and started waving a gun around?" I extend this to everything, as often as possible. There's nothing wrong with being alert and aware. Considering possibilities is the other half of condition yellow.

Haha so do I I never thought about it, but it is good to do. It can keep you from getting into a situation where somebody else saw the same opportunity, only with harmful intentions.

The more you think about these things, the more prepared you will be when, if, something happens. You can never be too prepared.

[ccw9mm]

A woman with a child in a cart, approaching. Not very threatening, in and of itself. Certainly, a distraction. But, a tool for evil designs on you? Be aware of possibilities, sure, but I believe it's taking things much too far by half, to assume such a thing is the worst possibility from the outset.

That said, I certainly maintain a little distance and circumspection with any such question, where my attention is being divided. It's simply become a part of how I interact and respond. I generally know the time to within ~20mins or so, so I can easily respond without having to think or look down. I also have a pretty good "radar" and am fairly aware of those around me well before they approach. So, if someone were to ask a benign question, it cannot ring the alarm bells given how other information about the approach lacks any threat at all. Simple situational awareness helps keep things at a low simmer, so they don't boil over incorrectly. As suggested, context is everything.

[fotomaker57]

Something we all need to keep in perspective here is location. Take my State for an example. A WalMart parking lot in St Louis can be close to a war zone. However in my town once in a great while someone may break into a car and steal a purse that is laying in plane view. Many times in cold weather you will see half a dozen cars left running and empty while the owner runs into the store. So if I was in St Louis and this happened yes I would be cautious. Here at home, I would have pushed the food cart to her car.
Mike

[archer51]

What Buz? You don't need to have a loaded gun on you while cleaning another??!! Gosh...I learn so much reading these message boards!!

[G&G]

99.99% of women will not endanger their children. If she's alone with groceries & a baby, your threat level is extremely minimal.

Take a deep breath. You're ok

[paramedic70002]

There are lots of dead guys that dropped their guard because someone wasn't dangerous. While she wasn't a threat, you should always maintain your alertness, not turning it on and off.

Asking if you are paranoid is asking the wrong question. Ask yourself if you are survival oriented.

[Strapped]

Yesterday afternoon, I was walking into WalMart from the back 40 because the parking lot was rather full. A woman pushing two carts was coming toward me. One cart held a baby in a child safety seat and the other cart was full of groceries.

As we were almost side by side, the woman asked if I had the time. My first thought was 'I can't believe you'd actually try to rob me, given the circumstances'. I've read several stories and news reports of muggings starting with a simple question- "Do you have the time?" or "Do you have a light?", etc.

I stepped past her a few feet to create distance before looking at my watch, at the same time watching for any indication of a robbery about to take place. Nothing happened, but I realized I was in the mindset to recognize a simple question as a potential threat.

So what do you think, folks? Never underestimate a lady, or too many stories have caused me to be paranoid.

Wow, I'd say you're pretty paranoid!

[mocarryguy]

I only dress in Thrift store clothing, pretty ratty, and never shower. That way, no one wants to be close to me, so they don't ask questions. It works out well. I learned this from a Kansas City Star columnist, er, idiot who "thinks" he is a columnist. His name is Louis Duguid. He dresses like this to see if folks will keep their distance from him. Seems to work, but I think no one likes him anyway, so they don't want to be around him...Kidding about my dress, not him, he is an idiot.
Step away from the stimulants my friend.

[peacefuljeffrey]

To be honest, it sounds like you're a little strung out, or are getting there.

It's one thing to be alert, but if you begin to suspect you're doubting the intentions of everyone (including those in the circumstance you described), I'd say you need a vacation from people to ease your mind a bit.

I disagree. He didn't say he drew his handgun, nor did he say he put his hand on the grip... he said he put a little distance between her and him.

Most important would be to look around, not just watch the woman. She could be a distraction as several others (maybe men, maybe armed men!) close in.

In this day and age, who doesn't have the time? Just about everyone has a cellular phone, and if they don't, they should have a watch. And anyone who doesn't have one or the other of those (or both)--already doesn't give a crap about the time. That's why I'd be suspicious right off the bat.

[peacefuljeffrey]

Isn't that how porn starts too? But seriously i ask people for the time alot. I don't like wearing a watch. *shrug* Generally i'd be wary more of the "Do you have a light?" or "Got an extra smoke?"

They make some nifty watches that attach with a carabiner-type clip, that can be worn on a belt loop or elsewhere.

Do you carry a cellular phone? If you do, then you probably have the ability to have the time right there.

To me--and I don't intend this to be mean--when people don't wear a watch or have anything with them to be able to tell the time, I just think that they don't care about the time, or they never really have anything they need to do on any kind of a precise schedule. But then suddenly they need to know the time, and then they have to ask someone else--someone who bothered to keep a timepiece on him because, well, it's important sometimes to know the time. So what does the person without a timepiece do when they're not where they can ask anyone?

The simple solution is to go to Walmart and buy a cheap watch.

[digitalexplr]

After reading through these posts, it seems to me a whole lot of folks need a reality check. Good grief folks, are you going to stay hold up in your homes for the holidays? Do you dare go to any store and walk across their parking lot? Is anyone who acknowledges your presence or ask a simple question a potential adversary that you need to be on guard against?

I've been at a couple of events the past couple of weekends that have had large numbers of people. Friday evening the downtown area was pretty much wall to wall people. I had numerous folks bump into me, several bumped directly into my XD45. O my goodess! Are they trying to disarm me?? A couple of times strangers asked me a question! Good lord I'm surrounded and only have one mag with me!!

Some of you really do need to step back and chill out. You are getting in a mind set that is boarding on clinical paranoia and not just being aware of your surroundings.

If a woman with two shopping carts and a baby, who has the audacity to ask for the time is seen as a potential threat, you're developing a problem.

[2AMomma]

That is a lovely white veil you are wearing over your eyes, digitalexplr...

[JohnKelly]

Some folks are now depending on their cellphone instead of a watch to keep the time. Could it be that with a cart full of groceries and a baby she didn't want to go to the trouble of digging her cellphone out of her purse?

My alertness would not have gone up (no visible threat, certainly not her) and I would have politely given her the time.

Having done so, I would have circled the parking lot twice before returning to my car to ensure the whole thing wasn't an elaborate set-up.

Okay, just kidding about that last part!

[digitalexplr]

That is a lovely white veil you are wearing over your eyes, digitalexplr...

No veil at all. As a Vietnam Vet and a veteran of nearly 20 years in law enforcement, investigations and security (11 of which were as unifomed officer), and having been in all types of hairy situations, there is nothing in this scenario the should cause anyone to feel threatened.

If anyone sees a threat in this scenario, they have issues that they need to deal with.