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Was I being paranoid? (please read story before voting).

  • Never underestimate a lady.

    Votes: 68 35.1%
  • Lay off the forums, you're getting paranoid.

    Votes: 126 64.9%

Paranoid?

5K views 64 replies 58 participants last post by  PM 
#1 ·
Yesterday afternoon, I was walking into WalMart from the back 40 because the parking lot was rather full. A woman pushing two carts was coming toward me. One cart held a baby in a child safety seat and the other cart was full of groceries.

As we were almost side by side, the woman asked if I had the time. My first thought was 'I can't believe you'd actually try to rob me, given the circumstances'. I've read several stories and news reports of muggings starting with a simple question- "Do you have the time?" or "Do you have a light?", etc.

I stepped past her a few feet to create distance before looking at my watch, at the same time watching for any indication of a robbery about to take place. Nothing happened, but I realized I was in the mindset to recognize a simple question as a potential threat.

So what do you think, folks? Never underestimate a lady, or too many stories have caused me to be paranoid.
 
#3 ·
To be honest, it sounds like you're a little strung out, or are getting there.

It's one thing to be alert, but if you begin to suspect you're doubting the intentions of everyone (including those in the circumstance you described), I'd say you need a vacation from people to ease your mind a bit.


-B
 
#12 ·
+1 :gah:


Sounds like it's time to relax with some eggnog (the real stuff, with 90 proof additive of your choice), put on some Christmas music and make your Santa wish list. Let's see, I'd start with a new SIG 229, Ruger SR9, S&W M&P... :smiley2:
 
#5 ·
I choose option C: consider the full situation around you. Not everyone asking for the time or a light is hiding a shiv behind their leg, just like not everyone who knocks on your door after dark is planning to make your family headline news the next day. In my opinion, each of us should weigh the full content of the situations we find ourselves in, rather than automatically assuming "stranger + question = mugging." You can still be on your guard and alert without being paranoid.

I think your thought process was fine, and you weren't rude or unfreindly (at least by my reading). You considered the possibility of a robbery and decided that the circumstances didn't support it.
 
#6 ·
Sorry, I didn’t vote because I don’t really go with either one of your two choices.

Basically I think you are giving too much weight to the question and not enough to the totality of the situation. If she was alone, had her hands full with two carts AND a baby then I would not have thought her a danger. If, however, there were others who were close by or who seemed to be watching then I would be a bit more concerned.

I have seen women using children as a front for anything from drugs to violence and personally find it to be despicable and unpardonable. On the other hand, somebody who is alone with hands full of child and groceries, coming out of a grocery store, seems pretty normal to me and would not prick up the hairs on the back of my neck unless there was more to go along with it.

Now if the child was covered with a heavy blanket in warm weather or if the child was in short sleeves in sub-freezing weather, that in and of itself gets my attention because she would appear to be using the child to hide something or she just plain doesn’t care about the child. Either case is bad for the child, and maybe for others.
 
#56 ·
They make some nifty watches that attach with a carabiner-type clip, that can be worn on a belt loop or elsewhere.

Do you carry a cellular phone? If you do, then you probably have the ability to have the time right there.

To me--and I don't intend this to be mean--when people don't wear a watch or have anything with them to be able to tell the time, I just think that they don't care about the time, or they never really have anything they need to do on any kind of a precise schedule. But then suddenly they need to know the time, and then they have to ask someone else--someone who bothered to keep a timepiece on him because, well, it's important sometimes to know the time. So what does the person without a timepiece do when they're not where they can ask anyone?

The simple solution is to go to Walmart and buy a cheap watch.
 
#9 ·
I go with option 3. It was OK to be aware that women can be as deadly as men but it also enters in consideration the overall picture at that moment. Woman w/ a child and a cart full of groceries = Low Probability only after a quick 360 scan with you should have been doing in the first place.
Did you get the decaf? :rofl:
 
#10 ·
Yes, just a tad paranoid. When you mention broad daylight probably a busy parking lot given that it is Walmart, holiday shoppers a lot of potential witnesses I personally would not give it a second thought had it happen to me. Now, if it was dark out early evening hours and I was in the back 40 with little traffic around I might be a wee wee again wee suspicious but not enough that I would freak out or anything to that nature.

Just my thoughts...

Dave
 
#13 ·
One statement by itself should not put up red flags. I sometimes ask for the time beings I do not wear a watch and more times then not to lazy to put on my reading glasses to get the time from my phone.

Living in condition yellow doesn't mean paranoia
 
#14 ·
I think there is a certain amount of common sense profiling I apply in everyday situations - and I must admit that if I guess wrong about somebody I would be putting myself at risk. Nevertheless I think we can make reasonable distinctions based on the context and on our sixth sense.
I was at a Dunn Brothers yesterday and observed an unshaven, unshowered, unkempt thirtysomething-year-old man who was furtively playing with a bag of tobacco (kid you not) and staring (obviously and continually) at the college girl who was using her laptop. It was very uncomfortable and I was beginning to get concerned but he eventually left. no one else seemed to notice. Some might say I am unfairly profiling the poor man but so be it.. I have a daughter of my own. now with a mom in the parking lot-I guess she wouldn't fit into my profile the same way. but I would still keep my personal space intact just as a matter of habit :)
 
#16 ·
Paranoid

Anyone who watched the "Get Smart" TV series way back when can tell you there are more spys and secret agents than you can shake a stick at. I don't trust anyone. Especially girl scouts at cookie time.
 
#17 ·
Women (and babies) have been used before as decoys to attract your attention while someone else comes up on you. The one talking to you doesn't have to be the one that harms you. If you had drawn a weapon and told her to assume the position before looking at your watch, you would have been paranoid. By realizing that an innocent looking individual could be attempting to hold your attention while something else occurs is being aware that things are not alway what they seem. Nope.. not paranoid, just sensible.
 
#18 ·
Stay alert, be polite, and have a plan to kill everyone around you.







Just kidding! You did fine. I hope I will consider an ambush the next time ANY stranger engages me in a conversation. If you write off all women with kids as zero threat to you, you've just opened yourself up to the possibility of tremendous surprise. Better to be alert and called paranoid than be surprised and dead.
 
#19 ·
I had a guy ask me at 4am when I was filling up papers if I had change for a dollar. I said I don't carry any cash, and quickly made haste to the car. I understand what you mean about the question first to "distract" you.

Maybe not in your situation tho :hand5:
 
#21 ·
Not Paranoid

I vote to never underestimate a woman. There are just too many ways your situation could have gone very wrong. I'm glad you were aware and that you were thinking in code yellow not white.

Regardless of the time of day, it is Christmas shopping time and there are a whole lot more people walking around with cash, which makes for bolder BG's(and Gals). And we all know that there are too many sheeple that will just look the other way 'cause it's not happening to them!

I believe too many men (I'm sure no one here :wink:) do not consider women in the scenarios they think through.

Good job! And keep up the safe thinking!!
 
#23 ·
I didn't vote, because there is a distinct difference between paranoia and a heightened sense of awareness.

I honestly don't think you actually suspected this particular woman of being a personal threat to you in any way. But you were being wise to consider at the time the many possible ways a person can be mugged.

Too many victims waiting to happen just look at their clumsy feet while walking straight into trouble.
 
#24 ·
Be aware of the total situation. It would not be the first time a seeming harmless women was used as a decoy or to divert one's attention.
Strangers asking for something are always the time to raise your antennae and awareness. I would call it " preparedness, not paranoia " to, quote Mr. Ayoob.
 
#25 ·
I've had black helicopters circling overhead before, well not really, they were dragonflys; but, if you suck enough beers laying on the beach up here, you can dream. Actually, thinking about it and watching the news, it's possible for the lady with the baby to be a dirt bag. We just had a guy shoot a 6 year old, kill the mother, and in a standoff, kill himself. Way too many scum that cares about no one.
 
#28 ·
"I think your thought process was fine, and you weren't rude or unfreindly (at least by my reading). You considered the possibility of a robbery and decided that the circumstances didn't support it."

+1 Maybe it's Tucson (Chicago, NY, LA???), we have so many meth heads and gangs that roam the mall lots that I don't even like my wife shopping at night without me. Who says there's not someone between the cars (a favorite)?

Some wisdom, caution, applied with courtesy, makes for a pleasant and safe interaction.
 
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