I got dragged to the mall today...

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Thread: I got dragged to the mall today...

  1. #31
    VIP Member Array AZ Husker's Avatar
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    Hair comes and goes...I'm not losing mine yet, but choose to keep it short since it's easy to take care of. When I was his age, mine was done to my fanny (1972) and my Dad hated it. Now that mine is shorter than his, we joke about it!

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  3. #32
    VIP Member Array NCHornet's Avatar
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    I have found that the "freaks" out there (metal studs, wearing etc) are for the most part not nearly as dangerous as the thugs, regular bad guys. The ones that don't look like freaks, but will stab you in the back. Most of the freaks out there, no people look at them like freaks, and thats what they want.. they got their attention and are happy.
    The "freaks" don't worry me at all, I guess because, I still Identify with them in a way. Its the ones who go unnoticed, and the thugs and gangsta that concern me more.
    Yeah that's what people said about the Columbine kids. "We thought they just wanted attention, we never thought they were capable of this!!"
    I don't single out anybody and when I go to the city, especially the mall I use it as an exercise in real life, just like being at the range, but this is situational awareness. I too sit outside the stores with my son and we people watch. We then come up with "What If's" sometimes they get pretty exagerated, but it has taught him ( my 16 year old son) to be aware of what is going on around him, and how to act if something does go bad.
    God Bless
    NCH

    Edit:
    I just read the other pages of this post and it appears Limatunes and I agree 100%!!
    When Seconds Count, The Cops Are Just Minutes Away!!
    Carry On!
    NCHornet

  4. #33
    Senior Member Array Scot Van's Avatar
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    As a former freak, I'd like to remind everyone that judging people based appearances isn't really fair. Granted, a guy in a dirty trenchcoat with puke in his hair muttering to himself about how 'they all should go die' should have you worried. Stereotypes exist for a reason, and self presevation dictates that we categorize people to save our own skin. I get that.

    But I counsel lots of kids, and I respectfully submit that you may ahve forgotten what it was like to be that age...heck, I probably have, too. But when I graduated from high school (almost 20 years ago), I had an 18" blue mohawk, wore earrings and was pretty excited about rejecting anything the 'boring adults' around me had to say. Now, I have a master's degree and regularly contribute to forums and organizations I believe in. The world has a way of mellowing the youthful zeal for rebellion, and gradually, over eight years of undergrad and graduate school, I figured out that my appearance had nothing to do with my education or thought processes. I figured out that changing the way I dress or look gained more respect in debates, but it never changed who I was inside. Basically, I could out-think and out-work most of the so called 'adults' around me, so by getting a conservative haircut and switching to a t-shirt and jeans, I was really just worried about the fragile psyche of the guy sitting next to me. If that got them to listen to my ideas, it was probably a better idea than getting my face pierced twenty times.

    Funny, but one of the few adults that didn't care how I looked but was more interested in what was inside was my beloved Jiu Jitsu teacher. He knew what I was capable of, knew that I behaved with good character and cared about other living things. He knew that I was just figuring things out.

    I understand why you call 'em freaks. But I think it is folly to assume that anyone who fails to dress or speak like you do is a threat or somehow inferior. Some of the greatest writers, artists and scientists don't really fit the Dockers and boat shoes crowd. But so what? The fact is that I talk to plenty of kids on a weekly basis who look like they either need a nap and a haircut or like they just crawled out of a Halloween shop after a spending spree. What I find is consistent? They have four ideas/misconceptions in common...

    1.) adults don't understand what I'm going through
    2.) NOBODY looks as stupid or goofy as I do
    3.) this horrible feeling of desperately needing to belong lasts forever
    4.) I am the only one feeling this way

    It is important that we realize that not every misfit is a Dylan Kliebold or Shane Harris. Not every person who looks differently from us is 'effed up'. Wave after wave of music-influenced fashion and image dictates that the younger set is ALWAYS going to go for the look that gets some sort of reaction, and that is a natural process of establishing individuality and self-identity. Usually, it all comes out in the wash. Sometimes, it means looking like Marilyn Manson for a while.

    What is really cool is that your kid seems well-adjusted enough to be able to identify with his ol' man, not needing to act out or try on different appearances to feel comfortable with himself. In this sense, he does make the others freaks, but I submit that this is much more unusual that a teen who feels uncomfortable in his or her own skin. I think that indicates loving, attentive parenting, and you're to be commended.

    When I'm out and about, I'm more worried about the guy in torn Carharts and a John Deer hat that has been drinking Black Label all day while dove hunting who wanders into the filling station with a bad attitude and a penchant for starting trouble (there are LOTS of guys like this in Central KY) with a .44 Mag on his hip. I'm lots more worried about 'the good old boy' who is 'here to do two things...drink beer and kick ass' and is almost out of beer. There are many more cases of random violence and vandalism caused by this sort of fellow, but they don't make the paper because...well...'boys will be boys'.

    But tell that to my buddy Jeff (who is black...yes...I say black, not African American. His grandparents were French, not African. How ridiculous would it be to say French-African American?!! I don't go by Norse/Germanic-Slavic American...I'm white! Black is what HE says, and that is what HE has asked his friends to use) that got pulled from his car after a Wildcat football game and beaten by a bunch of guys wearing Izod shirts and letter jackets that probably have never felt left out or ostracized in their lives. Upstanding young men, my fanny!!

    Anyway, pardon the bristling response, ok? I grew up around people that thought they knew everything about me because of what their eyes told them. If these same people took a moment to talk to me, they'd see that I am an intelligent, educated and MORAL person who values liberty and independent thought. They'd see that I am not a lemming who simply goes along to get along, but rather someone who, in the spirit of the founders of this country, has the balls to see and interpret things differently and make decisions about what is right for his own life. They'd learn that I'd always come to the resue of my fellow man, always lend a help up to someone in need. And they'd realize that I don't care what the person in need looks like.

    I know your posts didn't really mean to delve so deeply into why these kids looks like freaks, but it struck a chord with me, so I thought I'd letcha' know that somehow, most of those freaks are going to turn out OK. Give 'em a chance.

    And don't let your guard down just because the guy crossing the street toward you is wearing a tie.
    A man in the hands of his enemies is flesh, and shudderingly vulnerable. - author unknown

  5. #34
    Senior Member Array Skygod's Avatar
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    Let me get this straigt. A Glock 23 with 4 spare mags, 3 flashlights, two back up guns with 1 each spare mag, 3 cell phones, an expandable baton, 6 knives, a stun gun and Kevlar vest ???

    Is their combat zone that I'm not aware of in your local mall ? Why not just sling an AR15 over your torso with a full set up chest kit of MOLLE gear and a MICH helmet with two of the LASH two way radio system for you and your and son?

    Your a strange bird.
    Perhaps your sole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.

  6. #35
    Member Array johnbrodie's Avatar
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    I just assumed he was kidding. If not, I feel sorry for him to go through life with such paranoia.

  7. #36
    Member Array jbailey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by limatunes View Post
    I don't mind the mall. I like people watching, and what better place to people watch than the mall, WalMart and the DMV. They are truly places for a mix of all cultures, makes and models.
    +1 Lima, I love to people watch. My favorite places were the Smithsonian and the National Zoo in DC, There you can truly watch the world go by. As I got older though, my tolerance for really crowded places has gone south. Was in NO for Mardi gras in '89 - talk about seeing "strange animals" there was an abundance. It was so crowded on Bourbon St. the wife and I had to walk single file, holding hands so as not to get separated. We saw almost every kind of lewd and illegal activity, including a guy trying to take my wife's purse in that crowd. I happened to see him reach for it,as she was in front, and shoved him over into the people going the other way, where he lost his balance and got carried in the other direction, he never quite got hold of the purse. One trip to Mardi Gras was more than enough!!
    These days, even the Outback Steakhouse is too crowded for me.
    Soon you'll have a little "mall companion " to go with you!
    Good luck,
    Jim
    "There is no problem that cannot be solved through the proper use of high explosives"
    G. Alan Foster

  8. #37
    Senior Member Array TonyW's Avatar
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    I'm kind of split on the mall. Like Limatunes said, it is a great place to people watch and practice your visual skills. (Hmm, that can be taken two ways.) On the other hand I really don't like to shop so after I walk around and stretch my legs some I'm ready to go. I do always make sure I have a "friend" with me when I go.

    On the how people look thing, I really try not to judge a book by it's cover. While I would never dress like some people do, or let my children dress that way either, I try not to look down on a person who does. In my limited experience I've not had any problems. Even worse than the mall, I ended up going to a concern with my daughter and it was the thugs/punks slamming into people next to us that I wanted to punch. The dude with the spiked green hair on the other side of us was pretty cool.
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  9. #38
    Member Array Agape's Avatar
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    Sounds good to me. I do not go to the mall because they have a no firearms posted.

  10. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skygod View Post
    Let me get this straigt. A Glock 23 with 4 spare mags, 3 flashlights, two back up guns with 1 each spare mag, 3 cell phones, an expandable baton, 6 knives, a stun gun and Kevlar vest ???

    Is their combat zone that I'm not aware of in your local mall ? Why not just sling an AR15 over your torso with a full set up chest kit of MOLLE gear and a MICH helmet with two of the LASH two way radio system for you and your and son?

    Your a strange bird.
    He was kidding.
    "Just blame Sixto"

  11. #40
    Distinguished Member Array Chooie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skygod View Post
    Your a strange bird.
    No, it's why we love him here.

  12. #41
    Member Array BillR's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scot Van View Post
    As a former freak, I'd like to remind everyone that judging people based appearances isn't really fair. Granted, a guy in a dirty trenchcoat with puke in his hair muttering to himself about how 'they all should go die' should have you worried. Stereotypes exist for a reason, and self presevation dictates that we categorize people to save our own skin. I get that.

    But I counsel lots of kids, and I respectfully submit that you may ahve forgotten what it was like to be that age...heck, I probably have, too. But when I graduated from high school (almost 20 years ago), I had an 18" blue mohawk, wore earrings and was pretty excited about rejecting anything the 'boring adults' around me had to say. Now, I have a master's degree and regularly contribute to forums and organizations I believe in. The world has a way of mellowing the youthful zeal for rebellion, and gradually, over eight years of undergrad and graduate school, I figured out that my appearance had nothing to do with my education or thought processes. I figured out that changing the way I dress or look gained more respect in debates, but it never changed who I was inside. Basically, I could out-think and out-work most of the so called 'adults' around me, so by getting a conservative haircut and switching to a t-shirt and jeans, I was really just worried about the fragile psyche of the guy sitting next to me. If that got them to listen to my ideas, it was probably a better idea than getting my face pierced twenty times.

    Funny, but one of the few adults that didn't care how I looked but was more interested in what was inside was my beloved Jiu Jitsu teacher. He knew what I was capable of, knew that I behaved with good character and cared about other living things. He knew that I was just figuring things out.

    I understand why you call 'em freaks. But I think it is folly to assume that anyone who fails to dress or speak like you do is a threat or somehow inferior. Some of the greatest writers, artists and scientists don't really fit the Dockers and boat shoes crowd. But so what? The fact is that I talk to plenty of kids on a weekly basis who look like they either need a nap and a haircut or like they just crawled out of a Halloween shop after a spending spree. What I find is consistent? They have four ideas/misconceptions in common...

    1.) adults don't understand what I'm going through
    2.) NOBODY looks as stupid or goofy as I do
    3.) this horrible feeling of desperately needing to belong lasts forever
    4.) I am the only one feeling this way

    It is important that we realize that not every misfit is a Dylan Kliebold or Shane Harris. Not every person who looks differently from us is 'effed up'. Wave after wave of music-influenced fashion and image dictates that the younger set is ALWAYS going to go for the look that gets some sort of reaction, and that is a natural process of establishing individuality and self-identity. Usually, it all comes out in the wash. Sometimes, it means looking like Marilyn Manson for a while.

    What is really cool is that your kid seems well-adjusted enough to be able to identify with his ol' man, not needing to act out or try on different appearances to feel comfortable with himself. In this sense, he does make the others freaks, but I submit that this is much more unusual that a teen who feels uncomfortable in his or her own skin. I think that indicates loving, attentive parenting, and you're to be commended.

    When I'm out and about, I'm more worried about the guy in torn Carharts and a John Deer hat that has been drinking Black Label all day while dove hunting who wanders into the filling station with a bad attitude and a penchant for starting trouble (there are LOTS of guys like this in Central KY) with a .44 Mag on his hip. I'm lots more worried about 'the good old boy' who is 'here to do two things...drink beer and kick ass' and is almost out of beer. There are many more cases of random violence and vandalism caused by this sort of fellow, but they don't make the paper because...well...'boys will be boys'.

    But tell that to my buddy Jeff (who is black...yes...I say black, not African American. His grandparents were French, not African. How ridiculous would it be to say French-African American?!! I don't go by Norse/Germanic-Slavic American...I'm white! Black is what HE says, and that is what HE has asked his friends to use) that got pulled from his car after a Wildcat football game and beaten by a bunch of guys wearing Izod shirts and letter jackets that probably have never felt left out or ostracized in their lives. Upstanding young men, my fanny!!

    Anyway, pardon the bristling response, ok? I grew up around people that thought they knew everything about me because of what their eyes told them. If these same people took a moment to talk to me, they'd see that I am an intelligent, educated and MORAL person who values liberty and independent thought. They'd see that I am not a lemming who simply goes along to get along, but rather someone who, in the spirit of the founders of this country, has the balls to see and interpret things differently and make decisions about what is right for his own life. They'd learn that I'd always come to the resue of my fellow man, always lend a help up to someone in need. And they'd realize that I don't care what the person in need looks like.

    I know your posts didn't really mean to delve so deeply into why these kids looks like freaks, but it struck a chord with me, so I thought I'd letcha' know that somehow, most of those freaks are going to turn out OK. Give 'em a chance.

    And don't let your guard down just because the guy crossing the street toward you is wearing a tie.
    You have some great points.
    My own kids (18 and 21 now) never really wanted to to "rebel" in the appearance department. My wife and I were successful in conveying to them that appearance is important, and that people are judged on their appearance, however "unfair" this may be. You only get ONE chance to make a good first impression! Why handicap yourself needlessly? My kids grew up in relatively small towns, and all of the employers that they had would not allow visable tats or piercings while on the job. Most of the businesses realize that a majority of their potential customers would have trouble getting past a "bad" first impression.
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    You can't cure stupid, but you can give it a good whoopin to straighten it's thought pattern.

  13. #42
    Senior Member Array MR D's Avatar
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    See Marine Corps Rule #23


  14. #43
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    Maybe its just becuase I use to a "freak" but those kids don't bother me I really don't see them as threats just becuase they are dressed that way.

    Personally I would be more wary of clean cut kid in a letter jacket. Because in my experience he is the one who is more likely to jump you in the parking lot with six friends with baseball bats just becuase he felt you looked at him funny or you checked out his girlfriend in the mall.

    But I guess that would be a horribly unfair over generalization of a stereotype I call "jock" and would never want to do that.
    "You can't shake the devils hand and say you were only kidding"

  15. #44
    Senior Member Array Scot Van's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skygod View Post
    Let me get this straigt. A Glock 23 with 4 spare mags, 3 flashlights, two back up guns with 1 each spare mag, 3 cell phones, an expandable baton, 6 knives, a stun gun and Kevlar vest ???

    Is their combat zone that I'm not aware of in your local mall ? Why not just sling an AR15 over your torso with a full set up chest kit of MOLLE gear and a MICH helmet with two of the LASH two way radio system for you and your and son?

    Your a strange bird.
    Ummm...what happened to our sense of the absurd? He was obviously kidding!!!
    A man in the hands of his enemies is flesh, and shudderingly vulnerable. - author unknown

  16. #45
    Ex Member Array BikerRN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SIXTO View Post
    I'd rather deal with freaks than thugs and thug wanna be's. Nothing is worse than the suburban homeboy and Cul-de-sac gansta.

    So true Sixto.

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