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Carrying to a friend's house

6K views 74 replies 54 participants last post by  PatP 
#1 ·
I am in the process of getting my CCL. I know when we go to the neighbor's house, as we often do for our kids to play or for the adults to play cards or visit, my wife is going to say not to carry over there. That's a hurdle I'm just going to have to deal with. (advice here would be helpful)

But I was wondering...has anyone ever been outed someone's house that you've known for a long time, what was their reaction and how was the situation handled? I could see some people throwing a fit saying "how could you bring that into my house" etc. and the relationship going downhill from there. I'm not sure how my neighbors or friends would feel about it, and I don't plan on being outed(concealed means concealed and all), but if the situation did arise I'm not sure how it would go down.

Anyone have this experience? Has anyone lost friends because of it, or realize you have another gun toting buddy to talk guns with?

Edit: Title should read Carrying to a friend's house
 
#33 ·
The day a friend or family member tells me I am not welcome if I am carrying a gun, is the last day I visit.

I also don't let friends or family dictate what kind of socks or underwear I have on, or don't.

I'm cranky, middle-aged, and stubborn, not a murderous psychopath.

--Travis--
 
#34 ·
You get more "ammo" (pardon the pun) the longer you carry and the longer they dont' know. For instance you get made 11 months after going to thier house to watch football, or whatever. So joe says man you've been carrying in my house for 11 months!?! and you calmly say why yes, and i've always carried, and joe will say but i have kids! I let you around my KIDS! and you will say and i've mae the appropriote reactions for those 11 months to make sure things stayed safe around my conealed weapon. The longer you can hide it the easier to say it is "and never once in those X amount of times has anyone been put in danger" I keep it safe man. I'm rambling.
 
#36 · (Edited)
One good friend has been a shooting buddy for years. He asked, but wasn't certain I did carry to his home, though he knew I had a CHL. I'm sure he knew, as he effectively introduced me and initially trained me on pistol handling. Knows my disposition and respect for being armed, very well. He was not surprised when I indicated that I was, indeed, carrying. We had a brief chuckle, realizing that it would never be an issue.

No other friends know. A couple of family members (outside my own home) know, but they so anti- they won't bring it up any longer. So, not an issue there, either.

Nicely, Oregon is not so dim as to believe that my informing others of my carry status makes a bit of difference as to their safety or security. In reality, it only negatively impacts mine. Kudos to my state for recognizing the simplicity of that.

Ditto on this basic sentiment: I also don't have room for ignorance or blindness in my life. I carry, always. If I cannot, I do not go there. If I'm not wanted, I leave. It's simple and it's fair. And it helps keep me safe. My friends and family don't make it an issue, largely (I believe) because I do not.
 
#37 ·
It depends on the situation. At one friends' home I disarm myself, and place the gun in a high cupboard out of reach of children, with my wallet, keys, glasses, etc. It's more of a comfort thing than anything else. If I'm somewhere else where I don't have that level of comfort, I just keep it under cover. In either case I never talk about it. That's not good policy. It creates other "problems" I'd rather not deal with.
 
#38 ·
If my weapon is not welcome I won't be there. It's not a problem that I've ever run into as most of my friends have their own CCW. I don't inform my customers that I carry and if some how they figured it out and didn't like it, they could hire someone else to work in their house. At least in Oklahoma I don't have to notify them.
 
#39 ·
I was contacted by a beautiful woman on Myspace who "found older guys attractive" and loved my Harley. Now I've got these notes before from "pros" if you know what I mean. But she kept sending me messages and is local. I finally wrote back and we chatted back and forth. She really wanted to meet for a ride. She asked my other interests and I told her about my passion for 1911's. She said I'd have to leave it home since she doesn't like guns. So much for a sure thing 20 years my younger! :nono:
 
#40 ·
Whatever is in my pockets (or strapped on my belt) is my business, not theirs.

If they find out and ask me to leave, or leave it at home next time, I’ll either avoid their house in the future, or honor their wishes. It depends on the nature of our relationship. But, I’m not going to ask permission before hand. I’m not doing anything illegal or immoral by choosing to protect myself.

Should I double check to make sure they are okay with me bringing in cash, credit cards, various licenses & IDS, a picture of my wife, my BJ’s club card, my cell phone, my pocket knife, my flashlight, orthopedic insoles, wrist watch, etc…where does it end?
 
#42 ·
I am faced with the same situation in the near future. We are invited to a neighbor's home for a winter 'get together' at the end of this month. The husband is a 'newbie' to firearms and has been asking me for advice on what to buy to protect his home as well as his motorhome while on the road. His wife is an 'anti'. She's terrified of guns. Out of respect for her position, I'll leave my gun at home for the evening.
 
#46 ·
Simple, don't associate with anti-freedom people! I live in Texas, and all of the people I associate with are freedom lovers, aka pro 2A!

Almost all of my friends are NRA/TSRA members. The ones that are not, are not anti 2A.
Be carefull with this logic... not all people who dont like guns are anti freedom. Part of the freedoms we all love is respecting the freedom to not want somethings in our own homes. Your freedom ends when it tramples on another persons.
 
#45 ·
As long as it is legal...I carry...concealed is concealed...no one should know.
More probable...if my gun is 'verbally' not welcomed...I'm not going.

Here in the South...EVERY home has a gun. :yup:
 
#48 ·
I guess my outlook on this is pretty simple, in my case anyway....
....I've been trying to think of a single friend of mine that is anti....and I can't think of one, the friends I visit are all ok with firearms so I don't have to worry about it
that being said, if I had discussions about this beforehand with someone and that clearly stated they didn't want it in their house then I'd consider their wishes (didn't think this way always)
but If I don't want someone bringing their friend who is a drug dealer in my house, or bringing any substance in my house that I don't want, then they better respect my wishes
in an anti-2A situation just think of it as an opportunity to educate
 
#49 ·
I didn't expect to be in such a situation so soon, but this weekend we plan to visit a good friend and her... roommate. Don't know the roommate's views on guns, but likely to be different than mine. Don't know hers either (she's actually my wife's old friend).

I'll be carrying because my family will be there. Just because someone doesn't like guns doesn't mean there is a magic bubble around their house that protects them from all evil.

I give no one the right to disarm me. If they don't provide me with armed protection at their house, I'll either carry myself, or I won't go.

If somehow in the future they find out I carry, and ask me not to at their house, I'll tell them I left my gun at home. That is, "gun" as in singular. :image035:

The safety of my family trumps all courtesy.
 
#50 ·
Interesting Responses

There seems to be a few different camps here for responses to my question:

1: Where I go, my gun goes. If My gun isn't welcome than I'm not going.

2: I would take it off out of respect for the homeowners.

3: What they don't know can't hurt them. Concealed is concealed.

All responses seem to be well distributed throught these categories...interesting.
 
#55 ·
my wife has gotten used to me carrying..no matter where we go....and she just knows it is going to happen....I trust that your wife will eventually 'ease into it some' and see it is really no big deal...it is something you do to protect the family...from a predator....snake, rabid dog in the yard...whatever...
I carry to all my friends house...but no one knows....now if a impromptu baseball, wiffleball, football, basketball, etc game breaks out...I just excuse myself for a minute and put it in the truck....'with my cell phone'....
Hope this helps...if you have any questions please ask.
 
#58 ·
I don't believe it is necessary, in terms of comman courtesy, to ask permission to carry concealed before I accept an invitation to visit the house of a friend or acquaintance, with one big caveat. As previously stated, if I know, or have reason to know they would object, then IMO common courtesy would then dictate that I either leave my gun at home or in my car or decline the invitation.

Ron
 
#60 ·
I think Ron is right.

If you know your friend is against alcoholic beverages you don't walk into his house carrying a six pack of Bud.

If my friends come over to my house I expect them to not smoke in my house.

If I knew a friend of mine didn't want guns in thier house I wouldn't carry there.

That is what I think the Captain and everyone else is calling common courtesy
 
#61 ·
I think Ron is right.

If you know your friend is against alcoholic beverages you don't walk into his house carrying a six pack of Bud.

If my friends come over to my house I expect them to no smoke in my house.

If I knew a friend of mine didn't want guns in thier house I wouldn't carry there.

That is what I think the Captain and everyone else is calling common courtesy
Agree completely.
 
#63 ·
I still will contend that if a person wants to ban "tattoos or peircings" from their home, its well within their rights too. I can respect that, or not go. Those are the choices we have. I think it is just as disrespectful to ignore a friends wishes in regards to guns or anything else in their home as it is to smoke, drink or whatever.
 
#65 ·
Common Courtesy requires one to respect the wishes of the host. If the rules of the host are not acceptable, then do not go there.

I understand and respect one's desire for safety, but there are factors that override CCW considering the consequences of losing friends and offending family members.
Don't let carrying a handgun be the idol in your life, and take precedence over everything else.

No, I do not think there is a BG behind every bush and door ready to attack me or my family. In my home or the home of my family or friends I believe the odds of being attacked are 1 in many thousands or maybe a million. The fact that it happened once somewhere in the country or a dozen times does not prove the argument that CCW must be the deciding factor wherever one goes.

If my friends or host objects, and I know it I will leave my gun in the car or at home.

Regards,
Jerry
 
#66 ·
Many/most respondents here are in Middle-America or from Down South, where guns may be "accepted" due to culture. Here in the Northeast, the vast majority don't understand hunting (other than in stores/malls) or any use for firearms except for crimes (they believe what they see/read in the local media every evening) or by law enforcement.

Thus, most have "uninformed opinions" and honestly believe that "guns go off" by themselves (a favorite phrase used here by the media), thus the mere existence causes undue risks of "accidents", etc. in their minds. Therefore, if one were to take a poll of their non-shooting friends (and even many of those with guns that only shoot bullseye or skeet/trap), you would find that most would object to being in the knowing presence of someone (non-LE) that is armed.

Therefore, it is not usually a subject of conversation. Personally I never bring it up at all so I have no "official objections" to work with. Some know I own guns and most don't.

Thus, my philosophy of "don't ask, don't tell" for this corner of the world. If someone <unsolicited> told me that they don't ever want me to bring a gun to their house, I would tell them "fine, I'll never go to your house" . . . it really is that simple. Thus, I'd abide by their wishes. However, if I merely suspect (even due to comments made about news stories) that they would disapprove, I'm neither going to ask further or abide by what "I think are their wishes". I just don't believe in being the one to raise the issue and ask permission. YMMV
 
#68 ·
Ron,

Do you tell the folks your rules when you invite them over?

Nobody has ever "told me their rules" and I've never asked.

We don't discuss guns with our friends (who aren't gunnies). It would be pure conjecture on my part to imply that they would say "don't bring it" . . . although if I asked specifically I would expect that kind of response. Also I live in a state where if a gun was stored in a vehicle, it must (by law) be unloaded and locked in a case/trunk . . . if said vehicle or gun was stolen from the car, it is almost guaranteed that I would lose my permit for life (discretionary and revocations are a normal occurrence). No permit means NO possession of guns/ammo ever (and would end my current career as well)! So the personal stakes are really high, even if what you do is legal.

Nobody is ever going to spot the gun if I'm carrying it, as it is well concealed.

As I stated, if someone raised it as an issue with me, I would be upfront and abide by their request and tell them I'll never step foot in their house again. It's just never happened . . . yet. My SIL and one friend has seen me in their house in uniform and armed (many years ago) and never said a word about it then or since. The friend once told me that she doesn't particularly like guns, but that was the extent of it . . . she knows and trusts me, and thus I assume it's a non-issue for her. She lives in FL most of the year now so we're lucky if we see her once a year when she's on Cape Cod. A number of years ago her Son asked me something about getting a gun (he lives in CO), but he was only here a short time and we haven't seen/talked with him in years now.
 
#70 ·
Ron,

Do you tell the folks your rules when you invite them over?

Nobody has ever "told me their rules" and I've never asked.
:danceban:be pure conjecture on my part to imply that they would say "don't bring it" . . . although if I asked specifically I would expect that kind of response. Also I live in a state where if a gun was stored in a vehicle, it must (by law) be unloaded and locked in a case/trunk . . . if said vehicle or gun was stolen from the car, it is almost guaranteed that I would lose my permit for life (discretionary and revocations are a normal occurrence). No permit means NO possession of guns/ammo ever (and would end my current career as well)! So the personal stakes are really high, even if what you do is legal.

Nobody is ever going to spot the gun if I'm carrying it, as it is well concealed.

As I stated, if someone raised it as an issue with me, I would be upfront and abide by their request and tell them I'll never step foot in their house again. It's just never happened . . . yet. My SIL and one friend has seen me in their house in uniform and armed (many years ago) and never said a word about it then or since. The friend once told me that she doesn't particularly like guns, but that was the extent of it . . . she knows and trusts me, and thus I assume it's a non-issue for her. She lives in FL most of the year now so we're lucky if we see her once a year when she's on Cape Cod. A number of years ago her Son asked me something about getting a gun (he lives in CO), but he was only here a short time and we haven't seen/talked with him in years now.
Len,

I have no problem with what you wrote. I didn't suggest that we need to make an issue of the fact that we carry and ask permission from everyone who invites us to visit their home. My only point was that if we know or have good reason to believe the person would not welcome us with our gun into their home, then good manners and couresy dictate that we leave our gun at home or decline the invitation.

Ron
 
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