THE Discussion- Concealed Carry - Page 3

THE Discussion- Concealed Carry

This is a discussion on THE Discussion- Concealed Carry within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; so what do you guys say for people that think that you only carry because of fear?...

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  1. #31
    Member Array apierce918's Avatar
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    so what do you guys say for people that think that you only carry because of fear?


  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by apierce918 View Post
    so what do you guys say for people that think that you only carry because of fear?
    I would look at them in disbelief at their density, and say that is EXACTLY why I carry.

    I might ask if they had ever had a dozen "disadvantaged youths" with 2x4s try to kill them...

    Or if they or anyone in their family had ever survived a violent crime...

    --Travis--

  3. #33
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    When I lived in Maryland, I was always worried about talking about guns. Most people there are just plain scared of the thought that some one might have a firearm in their own home, so I never really talked a lot about them except some close friends.
    Now that I'm back in Indiana, it seems like more than 3/4 of the people that I know have or is about to get their license. Here, you are required to have one of the licenses that we have available to transport a firearm, so a vast majority of people have a license to carry. So if the subject comes up, it's pretty normal that no one cares because most likely everyone else does also. When I carry concealed, no one that doesn't know me don't know that I carry, but I see a lot of guys that print or the bottom of their holster peeks out from under their cover garment.
    From my friends, my parents, my girl friend(she has applied for hers), co-workers, they all have permits, I could count on both hands the people that I know that don't have a license.
    Kahr CW9
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  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by apierce918 View Post
    so what do you guys say for people that think that you only carry because of fear?
    It's long, but here's my written response to the very same question I answered in one of my blogs...


    In one of my blogs about getting the LifeAct O.C. spray, I got a comment from Ramirin.

    He asks, “Do you live your life waiting for something bad to happen to you? ... You seem obsessed with personal protection and the feeling that you are going to be attacked sooner or later.
    “My advice: enjoy every minute every day in a positive way, expect the best from people and keep on running this site and posting videos!”

    This is a question I have been asked before, not only by people I have just met or who don’t know me very well but also by my family and friends.

    I’ve been taught to carefully understand the question being asked so that I can give a fair and honest answer. To do that I feel I need to make sure I am as clear on the definitions of some ideals as you (my readers) are. We need to be thinking in the same terms in order for you to understand my answer.

    So, before we get started, let’s look at some basic definitions.

    Afraid, according to my dictionary, means “feeling fear or anxiety; frightened.”

    Fear means, “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.”

    Obsessed: “preoccupy or fill the mind of (someone) continually, intrusively, and to a troubling extent.”

    Paranoia: “a mental condition characterized by delusions of persecution, unwarranted jealousy, or exaggerated self-importance, typically elaborated into an organized system. It may be an aspect of chronic personality disorder, of drug abuse, or of a serious condition such as schizophrenia in which the person loses touch with reality.”

    With those definitions as a jumping off point, let’s take the leap and start swimming further into my mind, beliefs, thoughts and reasoning.

    Do I live my life waiting for something bad to happen to me?

    Simply put: No, I do not.

    Am I “preoccupied or filling my mind continually, intrusively, and to a troubling extent” with personal protection and with the feeling that I am going to be attacked sooner or later?

    No, I do not believe so.

    I have given the quick and easy answers but to someone who is asking those kinds of questions I’m sure simple answers far from suffice, and so I will try my best to elaborate.

    There are people in this world who are blessed to never have evil touch their lives. From the day they are born until the day the die they remain isolated from how devastating and atrocious this world can really be. Though they can, and often do, experience tragedy, it is not laced with the bitterness of maliciousness.

    A baby dies at birth and tragedy sweeps a family. Hearts are broken, tears are shed, lives shattered, but there is no evil to combat, nothing different that could have been done. A life was lost through tragedy, but no fault can be laid at anyone’s feet.

    But, there are other people who are or have been surrounded by evil, consumed by it, their lives shattered by it. They feel the sting of contempt for it stronger than anyone because they can look back and see ways they may have been able to prevent what happened to them. They determine to do all they can to keep from falling prey to it ever again.

    A man kidnaps a little girl from the supermarket while the mother pleads, screams, begs, chases and fights to the best of her ability to keep her child. The tortured, lifeless body of that child is found three days later. There is an enemy’s face to remember, a justice to be sought, a lifetime of tortured wonderings of what could have happened had things only been a little different, if maybe the mother had ran faster or had a weapon of some sort.

    And finally there are those in the middle. The folk who see both sides of the fence and decide they never want to be banished to the dried and withered pastures of those who know the face of evil all too well. They learn early, through the experience of others, the lessons those blind to evil will never learn and those touched by it will never forget.

    The local paper reports a story of a home-invasion two towns over from the small, quiet town in which a family lives. The father reads the story and as he reads the names of the victims slaughtered he can only see the faces of his own wife and children. A righteous indignation, a fire of will, ignites within him and he swears he will never allow such a thing to happen to his family.

    Those unmolested by evil have not yet come to appreciate the horror of looking back on your actions and knowing that an outcome could have been different were you more prepared. It’s easy for them to judge an individual and see him as paranoid or obsessed when they don’t understand why that person has made the choices they have been led to make. Usually, a rendering of the facts is all that is necessary for that person’s actions to be justified and no further judgement is made.

    It can be harder for the individual who has no horrid tales to tell, however, because in the minds of those who do not understand, he has no justification for being as prepared (or paranoid) as he is. He is scrutinized more carefully and looked at more suspiciously as a negative, brooding kook just waiting for something bad to happen.

    But why is being prepared seen by so many as being paranoid? And when does paranoia become prepared and prepared, paranoia?

    The unprepared man who gets killed while caught in a robbery after stopping at the drug store for a gallon of milk probably never expected anything like that would ever happen to him. If he were given a second chance to make some changes in his life he very well may have seen the prudence in arming himself. To the outside world, it is a tragedy. To his family it’s a devastation that could have been avoided if only... if only what? If only he hadn’t stopped for milk? If only he’d had a flat tire and never made it to the drug store at that time? If only he’d had the chance to fight back?

    Conversely, the man who carries for no good reason other than he doesn’t want to end up like our drug-store-gallon-of-milk victim, is ridiculed, thought ill of, looked down upon as being delusional and paranoid but in the day that he defends himself with his weapon he is hailed as being prepared. His family gets to welcome him home one more time and they all thank God that he was prepared for what had happened.

    The transition from paranoid to prepared was made because he later justified his choice.

    Sadly, however, there will always be those who, to the majority crowd, will always be paranoid. They will never (thank God) have to justify their choice and so they will forever be labeled as the “weird, obsessive paranoid guy who carries a gun.”

    But what makes someone paranoid or obsessed? When does thinking and preparing become agonizing and obsessing? When does a hobby become a preoccupation? When does healthy observation and discussion become unhealthy consumption of someone’s every waking thought?

    Who’s to know? And who’s to judge?

    Is it you?

    In another piece I wrote quite awhile ago, for something else entirely, I had said that my lifelong quest seemed to be for balance. Balance, I believe, is a key to life. To never allow one thing to be too consuming to the point that it becomes what defines you.

    We have all seen people like that--the people who obsess over their children, their jobs, their fears, even their dreams--and though we may be kind to them we sense that maybe something is not right with them. We understand that they need to find balance between their passions and the rest of the world. As I have said, finding that balance has been my quest.

    With that in mind I’ll leave you to decide if you find balance here in the introduction to who I am. I won’t tell you if I have justification in my reasons for being so thoroughly armed just yet. I want you to consider, for yourself, after reading the following, if you think I’m paranoid or unhealthily obsessed with self defense.

    For working at a gun store I’m a rather “girlie” girl in that I love makeup, hair and clothes. I search the internet for reviews on certain makeups I like and spend way too much of my free time experimenting with how to make my eyes pop just right.

    I go out with good gal friends once, maybe even twice a week. Sometimes we meet for tea and coffee. Sometimes we go shopping. We take over dressing rooms while we try on dozens of different outfits and agonize over the most flattering shapes and sizes of shirts, pants, shoes and accessories. We giggle, we talk about guys and music, books and jobs, clothes, fashion, faith, love, children, decorating and television. Even though they know I carry, the subject hardly comes up.

    I read and write fictional stories and when I’m having a bad day I watch “the Phantom of the Opera” with the surround sound turned up.

    I cry at sappy movies I’ve seen hundreds of times. I love old silly games like pick-up-sticks, uno, old maid and go fish. I’ll play poker with anyone who will set up a game.

    Tea is my passion and I have quite a ritual in preparing it. Because it is such a pleasure for me I take fine care in researching the best teas and where in the world they are grown. I spend too much money ordering them from places like Japan and India, but I don’t regret it. I read books on tea, enjoy talking about tea and have even driven my husband crazy with my passion for teapots. I have four already, who knows when I’ll have enough.

    I love philosophical and deep discussions about faith, destiny, life and love.

    I laugh easy and smile steadily. I enjoy meeting people and fear no conversation. I can laugh at myself and with others and don’t mind being the punch line of a joke.

    I see the people I meet every day as potential friends and think differently only when they prove themselves unfriendly.

    I have no enemies and I look for none.

    The advice I was given was good advice, “...enjoy every minute every day in a positive way, expect the best from people...” and it is something I do every day.

    I just do it all with a gun on my hip.

    Does that make me obsessed?

    Does my desire to keep my lovely life intact, whole and prolonged mean that I’m paranoid? Does my wish to make sure no evil can rob me of my next cup of steaming hot tea or one day seeing my baby’s face, or kissing my husband make me preoccupied?

    I leave it to you to decide.




    The people who know you, or who are in the process of getting to know you should see that you are not controlled by fear. You may need to "guide them" to that conclusion but I think as long as you show yourself to be a happy, stable individual they will soon see the truth.

  5. #35
    GPS
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    When people I know and or care about start showing an interest in firearms, I always try to point them to resources on the net where they can learn more about it and how to get training. Sites like this one and USCCA, the NRA website, and FrontSight.com will teach them more about their Second Amendment rights. They will also hear more about what is going on in the world and why so many of us have chosen to be responsible for our own safety and that of our loved ones.
    Cordially,
    GPS

    Visit U.S. Concealed Carry - The Ultimate Resource for the Armed Citizen http://www.usconcealedcarry.com/inde...ffID=GStrecker

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by apierce918 View Post
    so what do you guys say for people that think that you only carry because of fear?
    I'm a long distance hiker. Fear is not the reason I carry some heaver clothes for colder weather than forecasted. Fear is not the reason I carry a map and compass. Here in the east, I could always survive -- maybe be uncomfortable or need to spend an extra day or so in my sleeping bag, if I were only dressed for the forecasted weather. Maybe, bushwhack out or follow the wrong trail to the wrong trail-head were I to lose my way, without a map. (BTW -- I know there are places, and I have hiked in places, where true safety could be an issue. But I'm talking mid-Atlantic States here.)

    It's not fear. It is me accepting responsibility for myself.

    It is the anti-911 mentality.

    I have met people whose entire contingency preparation for anything is a cell phone. Someone else is always responsible, at fault, etc.

    As I have posted before an 80 old friend of mine has the following to say about questions of that sort:

    "No not at all. I am not afraid of the house catching fire either, but I have fire extinguishers around, and they are all loaded too."

    Or "Having a gun in the house that isn't loaded is like having a car in the garage without gas in the tank."

    Or, "The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented on his wearing his sidearm. 'Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you expecting trouble?' 'No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have brought my rifle.'

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    I am neither an attorney-at-law nor I do play one on television or on the internet. No one should assumes my opinion is legal advice.

    Veni, Vidi, Velcro

  7. #37
    VIP Member Array grady's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by apierce918 View Post
    so what do you guys say for people that think that you only carry because of fear?
    I marvel that they are so blind to their blindness...

    I realize it is likely only a matter of time before they, or someone they know, is a victim of a crime that they might have prevented or been better prepared for...

    I realize that time is on my side, and that they may change their mind, IF they survive their encounter with a criminal. If our society splits at the seams (or has another event as in New Orleans), their encounter will come sooner rather than later. I will be prepared; they won't. Maybe they will listen then... if they are not dead.

    If someone is rabidly anti self-defense, I don't waste my words on them. A criminal can do more to convert them in 5 seconds than I can in 50 years. It's their choice: if they choose to live in ignorance, in spite of all the media coverage of crime, then they also have agreed to accept the consequences of their choice.

    Sometimes you just can't fix stupid.

  8. #38
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    I guess I am very lucky! I live in a Town that is heavily Retired Military. The attitude here is "You are not carrying, Why?"

    The only place that is totally anti-gun is the Reginal Health Center and as close to the Border as we are I can almost see there point. They do apply their rule to off-duty LEO so I guess I can not gripe!
    William Wallace
    Do not stand between Me and Mine!!

  9. #39
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    Sigh, I wish we could edit post's for typo's.
    William Wallace
    Do not stand between Me and Mine!!

  10. #40
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    I have only had one person ask me if I was carrying a gun, and it was at the annual company meeting, to whit I responded with "Please, I am a mechanic. All I have are tools..." and to myself "and some of them are for specific tasks". Just about everything in my truck is technically a weapon. So I have decided that, that will be my conditioned response.

    I work 5 - 12 hour days, so I am either at work or at home. Weekends are "Honey-do" list time and recoup. This forum is my social outlet. I have one primary friend that I hang out with occasionally who also is CC, so that is a non issue.

    My wife however needs to be educated in the "No one needs to know I carry but you, me, your parents, and the police." Fortunately she has very few friends as well.
    Sticks

    Grasseater // Grass~eat~er noun, often attributive \ˈgras-ē-tər\
    A person who is incapable of independent thought; a person who is herd animal-like in behavior; one who cannot distinguish between right and wrong; a foolish person.
    See also Sheep

  11. #41
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    The only person who has ever asked if I have a CCP and do I carry is my Dad. I told him I did, and my younger brother chimed in that he has one and carries as well. Then my older brother said as soon as the law passes in his state he would get one as well. My father said he was never in a situation where he needed one, but we all knew better. He has come around to our way of thinking, but has decided not to get one, due to his age and cataracts. I hope to get him to get the surgery soon, perhaps then he will reconsider. My friends all know I'm pro-2nd Amendment, and most of them carry as well. My prepared response for the OP question is "Why do you ask?". This will allow me to determine the mindset of the person asking the question, and my response.

  12. #42
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    I'm really lucky

    I went to visit several members of my family this past weekend (Easter). I not only let them know I was carrying, I had to take out my new S&W 442 and show it off. I made sure that I had plenty of ammo, and was prepared to clean it after I came home. Male and Female in my family, including my in-laws, are pro-gun like me. A lot of times we can compare each other's carry weapons. They all expect me to be carrying. Outside of family, it is a differnet story. "What gun? Where?"
    No freeman shall ever be debarred the use of arms.
    ---Thomas Jefferson: Draft Virginia Constitution, 1776.

    They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
    ---Benjamin Franklin, Historical Review of Pennsylvania, 1759.

  13. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by GregRN View Post
    I went to visit several members of my family this past weekend (Easter). I not only let them know I was carrying, I had to take out my new S&W 442 and show it off. I made sure that I had plenty of ammo, and was prepared to clean it after I came home. Male and Female in my family, including my in-laws, are pro-gun like me. A lot of times we can compare each other's carry weapons. They all expect me to be carrying. Outside of family, it is a differnet story. "What gun? Where?"
    Not too long ago, five of us family members (close adults) went out to eat at a small restaurant. We were the only customers in there and it was the type of place that would have been good for a hold-up. While sitting around the table someone inquired as to how many of us were ccw in the restaurant. Three out of five were, and no one had previously planned anything at all. My son wasn't carrying at the time because he didn't have his permit yet.....he does now though.
    Turn the election's in 2014 to a "2A Revolution". It will serve as a 1994 refresher not to "infringe" on our Second Amendment. We know who they are now.........SEND 'EM HOME. Our success in this will be proportional to how hard we work to make it happen.

  14. #44
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    Thumbs up Memories

    Quote Originally Posted by GregRN View Post
    I went to visit several members of my family this past weekend (Easter). I not only let them know I was carrying, I had to take out my new S&W 442 and show it off. I made sure that I had plenty of ammo, and was prepared to clean it after I came home.
    When I was a child, nearly every family gathering was at one of my grandfathers', or great uncles', farms.

    Unless it was a particularly sad occasion (such as the funeral of a child or a younger adult) sometime after the meal, the men and boys would drift out behind the barn, ice-house, etc for some shooting. Most times. after some "Show & Tell" it would lead to a fair amount of competition.

    As a child, I was amazed at how much ammo we "wasted" on targets -- given the fact that my Grandfather required that I account for every .22 round I "used." Every hunting "miss" was discussed and analyzed. Took me a while to figure out that the discussion and analyzing was about learning not wasting -- as was target practice.
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    I'm just one root in a grassroots organization. No one should assume that I speak for the VCDL.

    I am neither an attorney-at-law nor I do play one on television or on the internet. No one should assumes my opinion is legal advice.

    Veni, Vidi, Velcro

  15. #45
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    Many good advise here, for both standing up for your right to carry and for not telling..Myself..Well, I would tell those who need to know,like my husband and close friends I know I can trust..People beyond that,well,they kind of don't have anything with me actually carrying a gun..The one you tell at Walmart or Starbucks might be the next bad guy..

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