Need ADVICE!!!! Please Help - Page 2

Need ADVICE!!!! Please Help

This is a discussion on Need ADVICE!!!! Please Help within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; My wife used to be a hippie, so I had a hard time convincing her also. But I think what really started to change her ...

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Thread: Need ADVICE!!!! Please Help

  1. #16
    Member Array TerryD's Avatar
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    My wife used to be a hippie, so I had a hard time convincing her also. But I think what really started to change her mind was I used to never watch the news before bed, now I do almost every night. Louisville is not really a high crime town, but there is enough that you notice if you just watch the news.

    Also, I was carrying for quite a few years before I met my wife, and we were dating for almost a year till she noticed it one night. When I told her I was always armed, you just never knew it, well it kinda shocked her. But she said if I fell comfortable with anyone carrying a gun, it would be you.

    So fast forward 8 years later, and she now carries, almost all the time, she is getting better every day. We are now working on scenarios, and what to do if something happened. At home, it's pretty simple, but she is having fun analyzing what she should do in different public places.

    Which brings up a good point. Make shooting & carrying & situational awareness fun. I try and make it fun by telling her what I would do, and having her tell me what I did wrong, as opposed to what she did wrong (bad idea). Also, last year I had her taking lessons from a woman instructor. She helped a lot, and got her to enjoy shooting.

    Now she has "grown" past what our instructor is teaching, and I have taken over the teaching duties. Me trying to train her in the beginning just plain didn't work, but now it does, and she is improving all the time. She picked out a new gun last week, after doing a lot of internet research, shooting a lot of different guns at different ranges, and finally found a deal, and got our local gun shop to work with us on the price that was agreeable for all of us.

    Seeing her taking an active role in her safety makes me proud. I must be doing something right.

    Last week my mother-in-law told me how thankful she was that I took her daughters safety seriously. Now she wants to learn how to shoot and get her CCW.

    One last thing, my wife works for Starbuck's, so she works with a lot of hippie liberal types, and has never considered carrying at work. Until about 6 weeks ago that those 5 women were killed at a Layne Bryant. The day after she said she could care less what company policy says, she is carrying at work from now on.
    "Nice grips, weird choice of etching" Rocky


  2. #17
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    Carry 24/7 .....or....Guess Right!

  3. #18
    Member Array MountainPacker's Avatar
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    Don't try to convince her. Simply ask that she respect your choice as you respect hers.

  4. #19
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    My daddy always said "son, don't ever give another man advise about women"!
    ALWAYS carry! - NEVER tell!

    "A superior Operator is best defined as someone who uses his superior
    judgement to keep himself out of situations that would require a display of his
    superior skills."

  5. #20
    Senior Member Array joleary223's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MountainPacker View Post
    Don't try to convince her. Simply ask that she respect your choice as you respect hers.
    And explain to her that it's a tool just like a leatherman, flashlight, or cell phone. Some tools you use more than others but when you need one, no mater what type, it needs to be in reach.
    CRIME..... LAW DEFINES, POLICE ENFORCE, CITIZENS PREVENT!

    FOUR BOXES KEEP US FREE: [1] SOAP [2] BALLOT [3] JURY [4] AMMO!

  6. #21
    Senior Member Array Sky Pilot's Avatar
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    My wife had the same issue.
    I explained to her that she is a youngest.
    I explained further that, when I married her, it was with the full knowledge that a youngest daughter, no matter her age, is always going to be "Daddy's Little Girl."
    And I continued that, when I married her, I as much as looked her long tall Daddy in the eye and told him solemnly that I would provide for his little girl, and I would keep his little girl safe, and I darn well intended to keep both promises!
    She is a woman grown, and past her 40th birthday cake, but the explanation made sense, even if she does object on occasion.
    "Deine Papieren bitte?" or "ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ !"
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    "I bark at no man's bid. I will never come and go, and fetch and carry, at the whistle of the great man in the White House no matter who he is." -- David Crockett

  7. #22
    Member Array STITCH's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackPR View Post
    Get a scanner... listen to your local police on a friday or saturday night. You can also search for online scanners... you can listen to a lot of them that way.
    I totally agree with this. But also listen to thursday nights as well. That is when most of the stuff happens for us.

  8. #23
    Senior Member Array gddyup's Avatar
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    Ask your girlfriend if she always wears her seatbelt while in her car? Bet she does. She doesn't just wear it when she goes on the highway for instance, but she wears it all the time becuase you never know when there might be an accident.

    Same thing with a gun. You never know when it might be needed. It's not something you just take with you when you "think" there might be trouble or danger. In that respect, it's probably someplace you SHOULDN'T be going to begin with.

    Firefighter/EMT
    "You've never lived until you've almost died. For those who fight for it, life has a flavor the protected will never know" - T.R.

    <----My LT was unhappy that I did not have my PASS-Tag at that fire. But I found the body so he said he would overlook it. :)

  9. #24
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    I would explain to her that you do not feel safe without carrying. That crime can happen anytime, anyplace and you would rather be prepared for it than to be sorry or dead afterward if it happened and you were not armed. Leave it at that. She will either understand or she won't. You both have a choice in the relationship. You both have to decide what is right for you. I wish you luck with your delima.

  10. #25
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    Based on what you've said thus far, I don't think she's going to listen to your logical arguments, no matter how good they are. She may come around eventually, or she may not. As evidenced by your "heated argument", she may be entrenched in her position and may refuse to respond to reason and logic.

    I can't give you any proven advice on what to say to her, but I would encourage you to not let your girlfriend make the decision of whether you carry or not. It's your decision, not hers. If I had a girlfriend who didn't like me carrying, I'd drop her before I allowed her to disarm me.

    My wife doesn't always see the need for me to carry, but it's my decision, not hers. Once I made that clear, she's eventually getting used to it. And on those days she doesn't like it, it doesn't matter--it's still my decision and obligation to protect myself and my family, and my decision alone. I don't need her permission for that, nor will I ever ask. It's not a group decision, and it's not up for negotiation, not now, and not ever.

    Your girlfriend might respond better to you being discreet and letting her get used to it slowly, or she might respond better if you make it absolutely clear that you will carry whenever and wherever you choose, regardless of her thoughts on the subject. You know her temperament.

    I encourage you to not allow someone else to determine your safety. If you want to carry all the time, then carry, and let the chips fall where they may. Once she realizes you are committed, she can either accept it, or move on. If she chooses to move on, you're better off finding that out now than after you are married.

  11. #26
    VIP Member Array JonInNY's Avatar
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    Have her watch this news story. It's about a woman who carries, and it probably saved her from grave danger. Convince her that it's for HER protection. It took awhile for my wife to come around, but she gets it now.

    KY3 - Local - Video - Woman holds burglar at gunpoint
    "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch; Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."
    -- Benjamin Franklin

  12. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by JonInNY View Post
    Have her watch this news story. It's about a woman who carries, and it probably saved her from grave danger. Convince her that it's for HER protection. It took awhile for my wife to come around, but she gets it now.

    KY3 - Local - Video - Woman holds burglar at gunpoint
    This lady is a good ambassador for concealed carry.

  13. #28
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    I don't always know where I am going to be each minute of each day. Sometimes plans change and low and behold I am in a not so nice part of town. The Dr. and his family in CT that were attacked last summer were in their own home in a nice upper middle class neighborhood. They too never thought bad things could happen to them. Dru Sjodin was attacked in a mall parking lot, in broad daylight, at Christmas time while talking on her cell phone to her boyfriend. If she had yelled help me into her phone I don't think the results would be any different. Such a thing happening was never in her realm of thought, but it happened. The list goes on and on. Carrying a gun 24/7 does nobody any harm, it may someday save your life, and a cop is never where you need them the most. Do an experiment. For a 24 hour period go about your normal activities together. Periodically, where it would seem appropriate, like in a parking lot, your home, anyplace where you are relatively alone shout ATTACK! This means you are in a vulnerable position and are being attacked by some thug. Now look around and ask, "where is the cop that you think is suppose to protect you?" Ask how many cops have you seen all day? I'll bet the answer is zero or just a few driving by. That does you no good at all.
    DEMOCRACY IS TWO WOLVES AND A LAMB VOTING ON WHAT TO HAVE FOR LUNCH. LIBERTY IS A WELL ARMED LAMB CONtestING THE VOTE.

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  14. #29
    Member Array Keely110706's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SnubMan View Post
    So, the girl friend really does not like the fact that I carry EVERYWHERE (she is ok when she believes that were in a higher threat area (like in Philadelphia) -- then she actually likes that I carry). -- She enjoys shooting and is not afraid of guns but is definitely not comfortable with the fact that I carry everywhere. We had a heated discussion last night and basically she believes that only LEO should carry a gun 24/7. I tried to explain to her why I carry all the time but she did not understand my view point. Anyone else ever have this problem, please give me some advice. I know I made a convincing argument (I'll spare the details --- way to long to type) but unfortunately she is still troubled by the fact that I carry all the time (I think b/c I am the first person she knows w/ a concealed carry permit). Maybe it will just take her some time to get used to it. So what do you think???

    I am a female that has always been around guns but never worried about carrying before. I finally decided this past Dec (after going through a training course) that I was going to get my permit. I am 25, and still have a lot to live for. If I can help it what's so ever, I am not going to become another victim. If your g/f needs any help or has any questions for a female carrying, I can help out.
    I really wish that I could start carrying on campus, but that argument is not going really well now a days.

  15. #30
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    "It's a big gun when I carry it, it is also a big gun when I take it out” – Clint Smith

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