Need ADVICE!!!! Please Help

Need ADVICE!!!! Please Help

This is a discussion on Need ADVICE!!!! Please Help within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; So, the girl friend really does not like the fact that I carry EVERYWHERE (she is ok when she believes that were in a higher ...

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Thread: Need ADVICE!!!! Please Help

  1. #1
    Member Array SnubMan's Avatar
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    Need ADVICE!!!! Please Help

    So, the girl friend really does not like the fact that I carry EVERYWHERE (she is ok when she believes that were in a higher threat area (like in Philadelphia) -- then she actually likes that I carry). -- She enjoys shooting and is not afraid of guns but is definitely not comfortable with the fact that I carry everywhere. We had a heated discussion last night and basically she believes that only LEO should carry a gun 24/7. I tried to explain to her why I carry all the time but she did not understand my view point. Anyone else ever have this problem, please give me some advice. I know I made a convincing argument (I'll spare the details --- way to long to type) but unfortunately she is still troubled by the fact that I carry all the time (I think b/c I am the first person she knows w/ a concealed carry permit). Maybe it will just take her some time to get used to it. So what do you think???


  2. #2
    Member Array yourbestdefense's Avatar
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    Being a LEO, I can tell you with confidence that you should carry as often as possible because deadly force encounters happen when you least expect it and they are over with in less than 2 minutes. Even if you had dispatch on the phone when something happened, an officer could not get to you in that 2 minutes. A former CWP student of mine sent me an e-mail with a number of "gun sayings" and one of them was:

    Q: Why do you carry a gun?
    A: Because a cop is too heavy.

    Take her out shooting to get her comfortable around guns, she may even like it. Also, you could find a local cop that is a "gun guy" (most cops aren't) and get him to tell you about all of the things that go on in your area that don't make the news.

    Good Luck

  3. #3
    VIP Member Array David in FL's Avatar
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    This type of question always reminds me of the car insurance ad where the family is planning their car accident later in the day.......

    Then I flash to the shootings at the Church in Colorado in December and to VA Tech last year. I'd bet the victims in both of those shootings thought they were in pretty low threat environments too.

    You might want to just casually point out instances as they crop up in the news (as they do every day) that remind us all that bad things can happen anytime and at anyplace. Eventually, she'll come to understand......

    ........probably.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Array tankdriver's Avatar
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    I have posted this before.

    My wife used to not carry usless she felt it was a bad area. She would not carry if she felt safe, so here is THE rest of the story one more time.....

    My wife teaches Aerobics at our church twice a week, she is accredited by 2 different groups. She also carries. She teaches a mixed male / female class. A guy came in durning class and said he was checking it out for his wife to the second instructor. All of a sudden, the 2nd insturctor screams, Joan, get your gun. The guy was grabbing purses. when he heard that, he dropped them and cut out running. She call 911 and was on

    HOLD FOR 14 MINUTES

    Listening to a recording tell here not to hang up.

    Funny thing she did not have hers with her. She had always had a problem with carring only when she felt she needed it, and not when she felt safe. She carries it all the time now.

    The local newspaper did a article on her and tilted it "Annie get your gun.... Even if it is a pretend one".

    NRA interviewed her on the radio program. They asked her what was the 1st thought that went through your mind, she answered "Of all the times not to have my pistol". Then she quickly added.... "And my second thought is my husband is going to kill me" I had told her time and time again to always have it with her.

    If she would like to talk to my wife, drop me a email, or PM, and I'll give you her number.
    1942 M3 Autocar Half-track...M3A1 Diamond T Half-track...57mm Anti-Tank Cannon

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  5. #5
    Member Array MarkM's Avatar
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    Start emailing her new stories of rapes, murder, home invasions, road rage assaults etc that happen in the nicer areas you go to.

    When I visit relatives in PA I don't disarm myself just because it's a nice main line neighborhood.
    First rule of a gunfight: Carry a gun

  6. #6
    Member Array Aaron4_6's Avatar
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    Bad things don't just happen in bad places. I don't know what you have or haven't said to her, but the reason we carry all the time is the same reason that people carry cell phones, have a spare tire or car insurance. You just never know when you'll need it and when you do, you will REALLY need it!

  7. #7
    VIP Member Array cdwolf's Avatar
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    Have her log on to any news site and Read!!!
    Show her this site, so she knows your not the only one!!
    My wife still gives me a funny look some times but she knows it's going with me!
    300 million people, 3 to 4 million carry and prefer not to be
    GUN CONTROL= I WANT TO BE THE ONE IN CONTROL OF THE GUN

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  8. #8
    Senior Member Array BlackPR's Avatar
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    Get a scanner... listen to your local police on a friday or saturday night. You can also search for online scanners... you can listen to a lot of them that way.
    The facts are indisputable. There is more data supporting the benefits of Conceal Carry than there is supporting global warming. If you choose ignorance, in light of all the evidence, in order to bolster your irrational fear of guns, you are a greater threat to society than any gun owner.

  9. #9
    VIP Member Array Rob72's Avatar
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    A scanner can be entertaining and informative. Reading gun-sites, rape-robbery-mayhem articles, in all honesty, is just propogandizing.
    It is what it is. First and foremost, be responsible, mature and level-headed in all that you do. At least you'll know your head is screwed on straight. Her response is emotional; it will take fear or accomodation on her part to change. You can't rely on surving fear, and you're a fool if you attempt to induce it, so that leaves the "first and foremost" point.

  10. #10
    VIP Member Array farronwolf's Avatar
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    I would not try to scare her by having her look up all the news stories or start emailing her all the crime stories you can find. The statistics are still on the side that only a minor percentage are in danger of being a victim of violent crime, no matter how many stories are in the news.

    Basically just let her know, that this is what you intend on doing, ie carrying when you want to. Your not married to this gal yet, so now is the time to make your stand and see how she deals with it. If this is something that you choose to do and she can't deal with it, then maybe she isn't the right person for you. On the other hand, maybe she will see your point and come around to your side over the years you spend together if she chooses to stick around.

    If you were married, I would have to give a bit different advice.
    Just remember that shot placement is much more important with what you carry than how big a bang you get with each trigger pull.
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  11. #11
    Senior Member Array BlackPR's Avatar
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    One of the reasons I advocate a scanner is that most people really have no clue what kind of crime happens around them on a daily basis. I grew up in a small town where the weekly newspaper did a "blotter" section, but most major newspapers these days publish only stories about the most sensational crimes.

    I live in a suburb of denver, population is just over 150,000... Yesterday while listening to the scanner, I was able to hear a meth lab bust (called in by a neighbor), a couple of arrests for warrants, the ever present domestic violence and drunk drivers (at 9am!). It was a slow day.

    It does, however, give you an uncensored, non-media-filtered view into a part of YOUR community you may not be familiar with.

    Another thing I should mention that helped me is just keep carrying and don't ever mention it. Ever. If you mention it, or announce it, you're making it a big deal. Don't hide it, per say, just don't mention it unless asked. It'll quickly become something she doesn't even really think about. Which is the way it should be.
    The facts are indisputable. There is more data supporting the benefits of Conceal Carry than there is supporting global warming. If you choose ignorance, in light of all the evidence, in order to bolster your irrational fear of guns, you are a greater threat to society than any gun owner.

  12. #12
    VIP Member Array JerryM's Avatar
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    Hopefully she will come around. However, she may not, and since you are not married it is a good time to decide where your heart lies along with your priorities.

    Best,
    Jerry

  13. #13
    Senior Member Array flagflyfish's Avatar
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    Had the same problem, notice I said had.....She would not compromise, just put her foot down and said that if I was going to carry, she and her son weren't going with me, (she was raised in Berkley)
    I had another one tell me that I wasn't going fishing after a report of a huge caddis hatch up on the Colorado River......... I'm sure gonna miss her.......Now, where's my waders.
    "These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier
    and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the
    service of his country; but he that stands it now, deserves the
    love and thanks of man and woman."

    -- Thomas Paine (The American Crisis, No. 1, 19 December 1776)

  14. #14
    Member Array Roland of Gilead's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron4_6 View Post
    Bad things don't just happen in bad places. I don't know what you have or haven't said to her, but the reason we carry all the time is the same reason that people carry cell phones, have a spare tire or car insurance. You just never know when you'll need it and when you do, you will REALLY need it!
    Same here. My wife (doh!!) doesn't understand carrying 24/7 and isn't likely to change, but oh well. Someone's sig line on another forum said it all for me: "A gun is not the answer to all your self-defense needs, but when you need a gun, you really need a gun."
    Freedom ... must be fought for, protected, and handed on ... or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United States where men were free. -- Ronald Reagan, 1967

  15. #15
    Senior Member Array Stirling XD's Avatar
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    I wouldn’t push the issue too hard. With many women (including my wife), that simply increases the resistance. Just keep carrying anyway without making a big deal. If you have another discussion about it, ask her to name a few places where she feels that you absolutely do not need a gun. Then jump on the Internet and find crimes that have occurred at those places or similar locations. This might help her change her mind or it may not.

    Work this out while you’re still dating. I once asked an older gentleman that had been married to his wife over 40 years what he thought the key to a lasting marriage was. I was expecting him to say something like communication, understanding or something of that nature. He simply said, “Choose wisely.”

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