Girlfriend NOT happy about me carrying

[havegunjoe]

Ask her to visit Dru's Voice the website for Dru Sjodin. Dru never expected to be abducted and murdered too. Would your girlfriend like to be remembered on a website like this? Tell her she should be thankful you have sense enough to carry for her protection and her comfort level has nothing to do with it. It makes you uncomfortable to think of her dead. I heard Dru's mother once say that Dru could never conceive of such evil in the world. That is evils best friend, peoples inability to recognize it even exists.

[DefensiveCarry.com]

[TerryD]

My wife used to be a hippy and completely against guns in any way shape or form.

I told her that if she wanted to be with me, she had to get used to it. And you know what?

She did!

It only took a few months for her to get used to it, and a few years after that, I got her some private lessons with a female instructor when I could finally see she realized why I carry, especially when I switched from the mortgage industry to EMS.

She started watching the news and got worried about me. She also did some research and found out how many people in my line of work die every day, by the hands of those we are there to help. She now carries everyday, and just bought her second pistol.

If this girl is worth it, give it some time. I am sure glad I did.

[MilitaryPower]

In situations like this I almost think it would be a good idea for a friend of yours she doesn't know about to wear a ski mask and attempt something that "can't happen to us" on you and her, maybe even put some punches in there or something. Anything to make her see how vulnerable people can be without protection.

She either needs to live with it or it is not going to work out.

[Thumper]

Well... I've been married 36 years and if you can find a way to make her happy, please let me know!

My wife hated the idea too. But from day one, I let her know (lovingly I might add) that I felt very strongly about carrying and it was not her decision.

Over time and after subtly pointing out the random violent crimes in our area when they happened, without any reference to me carrying, she started to realize that she felt safer that I chose to carry. She stopped making faces, rolling her eyes and sighing when she accidentally touched my weapon.

The thing is, a lot of women just don't want to know how at risk of becoming a victim of violence they are today. But who can blame them?

She'll come around faster if you don't talk about it all the time and even make an effort to not let her see your handgun if at all possible.

[Slim_45]

Wow iam glad my wife didnt really care about it @ first (didnt see the big picture) but only a few months of my carrying all the time, watching the news closely & taking her shooting, the question finally came "can i get my own gun?" & about 6 months after that she had her own carry permit Boy iam lucky i guess now she has a 2nd gun as well, i warned her it was catchy addiction

[sgtD]

I don't mean to seem crass or hard hearted, but I'd get rid of her.

JMO

[mr.stuart]

If you really want to carry,tell her how and why you do it,one time!If that does not work,I would run.To marry the wrong person is miserable.

[KenpoTex]

I don't consider me carrying a gun to be negotiable in any way. I'll try to get them to warm up to it and explain all the reasons, etc. However, when all is said and done, like it or not, I'm carrying.

[edr9x23super]

I say call cards with her; if she has any intentions of getting any more serious with you, she must accept you as you are now, forevermore. Get that point across to her.

if she argues, or tells you that she can work on changing you, dump her. These issues will only cause more problems later when she tries her behavior modification on you.

[Kerbouchard]

I have taken her shooting, and here's the kicker...she loved it! She even started considering getting a pistol. Then all of a sudden, she was back to her old gun hating ways. Maybe I should take her shooting more often...We have come up with a way to ease her into it. Whenever we're going out, I'll ask her if she minds if I carry. If she says no I agreed to not carry, but that I might, depending on where we're going. And of course, I have the power of veto. I made her promise she would say yes occasionally to make sure she would actually try to ease into it.

You've gotten some excellent advice so far, especially from Lima...as usual. So I won't attempt to add much.

All I wanted to say was that I agree with Grady.

Picture this scenario. You are about to go to the movies...she wants to cuddle, or whatever and asks you not to carry because it digs in her side, or makes her feel uncomfortable, or whatever. You decide it's a public place and is safe, so you do not choose to use your 'veto' powers, or she is convincing, and overturns your veto. When the movie ends, you walk out to your car and are greeted by 2-3 BG's who want your wallet. You instinctively reach for your carry weapon, but it isn't here, so you hand over your wallet instead. Perhaps they are happy with that, perhaps they are not. Could you live with yourself, if you are beaten, and your wife or g/f is abducted and you were helpless to stop it?

After all, it was a 'safe' place and you and your wife or g/f came to a mutual decision that being armed was not necessary.

For reasons like that, my wife does not get a say in whether or not I am armed.

[JimmyC4]

I introduced my wife to shooting before marriage and I done good...here she is with her new 642.

[bluelineman]

Remind her that when seconds count, police are minutes away.

[TN_Mike]

Man, if she's running your life already, just wait until she corners you in that church...

+100

Let me say this, unless you are 100%, absolutely drop dead certain, with out a shadow of a doubt, dead in love with this woman and know through and through to your soul that you are going to spend the rest of your life with her, if she won't come around in a reasonable amount of time (6 months) then find a new girlfriend.
Life is way too short to waste any of it on someone who refuses to believe they can never become a victim of violent crime. Chances are that when they do become a victim, and they will because criminals can sniff out those who live in blissful ignorance, you will most likely be with her and you will be collateral damage.
Find someone who will appreciate the fact that you want to protect their life with every tool available to you. You will be happier than you can imagine.

[centermass]

I just got back from town after posting earlier. While driving down the road I asked my wife how she felt about me carrying. Her statment was that when we were younger and didn't have children she would not have liked the idea. She stated that back then she didn't see the world around her as she does now. Now she is more alert and notices more of the bad things going on in this world. She felt hat having children helped her come out of her "that won't happen to me" coma. She said that she was certain that she would get her permit soon. It may be that your sweetheart was sheltered by her parents from the real world. Heck, any parent will do that so their children aren't scared of everything. But she will have to wakeup to the real world one day and become an adult. I'm not going to tell you to dump her, just help her wake up. Show her that you handle the gun properly and safely. Help to educate her. Print some articles about women who have been attacked and were able to defend themselves. THEN print some articles of women who weren't able to defend themselves. Let her know that the ones who didn't defend themselves probably thought it wouldn't happen to them either. BTW Jimmyc4 I saw a revolver just like that at the gunshow last weekend complete with the ct laser grips. I kick myself for not getting it now, because I know my wife is going to want my chrome .357 once she gets her permit.

[Chum]

Deep down, whether they admit it or not, women like having a man around to protect them. We're kinda like big dogs. Sure, we might crap on the carpet now and then but they are willing to pay that price for the protection we provide.

Carrying a handgun is one of the many craps on the carpet that women will put up with. They may not like it but ultimately they'll chalk it up to being a man thing and they'll accept it. You just have to be prepared when they try to rub your nose in it.