Girlfriend NOT happy about me carrying

This is a discussion on Girlfriend NOT happy about me carrying within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Originally Posted by rmarcustrucker i know it's a broken record (plastic thing that used to play music) already, but it's not PC to think that ...

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Thread: Girlfriend NOT happy about me carrying

  1. #76
    Member Array hcrum87hc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rmarcustrucker View Post
    i know it's a broken record (plastic thing that used to play music) already, but it's not PC to think that this won't be your wife. If she isn't on board with this, then what else are you two "off" on.
    I've heard the 4 things most argued about in marriage are:
    1. MONEY-(no duhh) (save spend, dept.....)
    2. Kids (to have or not to have)
    3. In-laws (is 1 block or 1000 miles good for in-law to your house?)
    4. Religion, politics, ethics (and gun beliefs)
    Honestly, this is practically the only thing we disagree on. She knows I'm going to carry, and it's not a deal breaker. I just wish she would see why I'm doing it and possibly some day carry as well. She has advanced some since we met. At that point, all guns were bad. She didn't even like being in the same room with a gun (even though it was locked and unloaded) when we first met. I gradually got her to come around and she's been shooting with me twice now. She thoroughly enjoyed it both times. In fact, my mom didn't like guns when her and my dad got married. She's still not a fan, but they've been happily married for 25+ years. Just a few months ago she went shooting with us for the first time in those 25+ years. She mostly went b/c my gf went, but she enjoyed it as well. So in conclusion, I'm not giving up on my gf. She's a wonderful person, and I think she'll eventually come around.
    "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him."-Jeremiah 17:7

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  3. #77
    Member Array rmarcustrucker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hcrum87hc View Post
    I just wish she would see why I'm doing it and possibly some day carry as well.... she'll eventually come around.

    Great to hear. Getting her to understand why YOU do it is one thing. Getting her to realize why SHE should do it is another battle. Your on your way.

  4. #78
    Member Array Linda's Avatar
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    How old is the g/f?
    Member of the National Rifle Association's Board of Directors
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  5. #79
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    Quote Originally Posted by youngda9 View Post
    You'll soon learn that it's easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission
    Ain't that the truth.....
    Keep emotionally active. Cater to your favorite neurosis.

  6. #80
    Member Array hcrum87hc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Linda View Post
    How old is the g/f?
    We're both 20 and we'll turn 21 within 5 days of each other.
    "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him."-Jeremiah 17:7

  7. #81
    Member Array Linda's Avatar
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    Good, she's young enough to mold into the gunner you want her to be. Most likely her problem is that she just hasn't had the exposure to firearms growing up. My best suggestion, find a buddy who has a wife/girlfriend that likes to shoot, and make a double date out of it. If she sees another lady having fun shooting, that will desensitize her and she may end up becoming a gun nut like me.
    Member of the National Rifle Association's Board of Directors
    www.BuckeyeFirearms.org Buckeye Firearms Association Central OH Chair
    NRA Instructor/CCW Instructor/Realtor
    2009 NRA Sybil Ludington Women's Freedom Award Recipient

  8. #82
    Distinguished Member Array SpringerXD's Avatar
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    Maybe this will drive the point home (pun intended). The next time the two of you get in a vehicle to go somewhere, leave your seatbelt unfastened and tell her that she should do the same.

    Her: "Why?"
    You: "What's the point? Nothing's going to happen."
    Her: "How can you know that?"
    You: "Who cares?"
    Her: "But that's unsafe."
    You: "Let's do the math on this, okay? As many hours as you've logged behind the wheel in your driving life, how many times has a seatbelt been needed?"
    Her: "Not much."
    You: "You see? So why bother wearing it?"
    Her: "But we could get hurt bad in an accident!"
    You: "But remember the odds. We're not likely to get into one."
    Her: "But it's that one time that matters!"
    You: "So what? I mean, sure, if we're travelling 60mph and hit something solid, the car suddenly stops but we're still travelling at 60 until WE hit something solid. But statistically, it's not likely to happen."
    Her: "But that one time the belt is needed, it's REALLY needed."
    You: "Oh, sort of like a gun?"
    "I practice the ancient art of Klik Pao."

    -miklcolt45

  9. #83
    Senior Member Array mojust's Avatar
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    I had the same problem with my wife. She got over it. Don't tell her you're carrying for a while.

  10. #84
    Member Array hcrum87hc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpringerXD View Post
    Maybe this will drive the point home (pun intended). The next time the two of you get in a vehicle to go somewhere, leave your seatbelt unfastened and tell her that she should do the same.

    Her: "Why?"
    You: "What's the point? Nothing's going to happen."
    Her: "How can you know that?"
    You: "Who cares?"
    Her: "But that's unsafe."
    You: "Let's do the math on this, okay? As many hours as you've logged behind the wheel in your driving life, how many times has a seatbelt been needed?"
    Her: "Not much."
    You: "You see? So why bother wearing it?"
    Her: "But we could get hurt bad in an accident!"
    You: "But remember the odds. We're not likely to get into one."
    Her: "But it's that one time that matters!"
    You: "So what? I mean, sure, if we're travelling 60mph and hit something solid, the car suddenly stops but we're still travelling at 60 until WE hit something solid. But statistically, it's not likely to happen."
    Her: "But that one time the belt is needed, it's REALLY needed."
    You: "Oh, sort of like a gun?"

    Haha, I like this. I'll have to remember that. We had a talk about me carrying the night before I went to get my XD. I think it may have had a positive effect on her. I've also been trying to show her that she's way more important to me than a gun. Both of these things seem to be working well. I need to be sure I get her out to the range sometime when we get out of school for the summer next week. She's expressed that she'd like to go again. My problem isn't getting her to like shooting, she does enjoy it. I mostly just want her to stop being naive and know that there is a reason to carry.

    I think I may have also found out why she has been anti me carrying lately and why she decided she didn't want to get a gun. In one of her nursing classes they were doing statistics about what kills kids throughout the nation. Her professor threw out the statistic that 13 kids are killed daily from guns and that over 25 more are injured. She said she didn't want to contribute to that statistic. I explained to her that the majority of that statistic is from inner city gang members and as long as we are smart and responsible, that won't be an issue. I think that got through to her as well.
    "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him."-Jeremiah 17:7

  11. #85
    Member Array Pistolman1974's Avatar
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    I had that same problem. All I did was carry anyway. if she said something about it, I acknowledge what she said as I strapped on the holster. This is not a conversation you need to have with her. Listen, but carry anyway. She will get over it.

  12. #86
    Senior Member Array adaman04's Avatar
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    Pistol whip her. Just kidding.

    My fiancee still makes comments about me carrying. I just got used to it. I'm going to carry, and if we ever need it, you will be glad I spent the time and money on CCW and training.

    One day were were in "the bad part of town" and I was carrying my G30 in my new MTAC (great holster, BTW) with just a t-shirt over it. She asked if I was carrying and I said "Does it look like I could carry under this?" She said "Of all the times you carry, you don't have it now!?" I took my spare G30 mag and handed it to her and she let out a sigh of relief. She's a good woman. She knew better than to ask if I was armed!

  13. #87
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    Two questions! Does she feel she is not responsible enough to handle having a gun without ultimately using the gun inappropriately? And does she feel the same about you?

    I think the answers to those questions will say a lot about whether you should continue or not with the relationship or trying to convince her.
    -Bark'n
    Semper Fi


    "The gun is the great equalizer... For it is the gun, that allows the meek to repel the monsters; Whom are bigger, stronger and without conscience, prey on those who without one, would surely perish."

  14. #88
    Senior Member Array Vaquero 45's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluelineman View Post
    Remind her that when seconds count, police are minutes away.
    I am a metro police officer in a large midwest city, and I approved this message.



    With a population just shy of 1 million, we have a department of about 1600 sworn officers. That includes a WHOLE LOT of officers that are detectives, admin people, etc., and are not on street patrol and answering emergency calls. You do the math.
    Slow is smooth.....smooth is fast.

  15. #89
    Member Array Zach and Holly's Avatar
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    Check out that "Why I Carry" thread -- have her read through the stories...here was our's!

    I must be lucky, my lady was very into the idea of concealed carry from the beginning. Just thinking about Cheshire, CT was enough.

    It's sad, people are completely blissfully unaware and carefree.......until it hits them. That one moment. That one moment of incredible fear that someone is going to hurt you, mug you, rape you....kill you (read my signature). And it's sad enough you have to read about it everyday happening to others....but that still doesn't do it for most people. It has to either happen to them, or one has to be smart enough to recognize and prepare before it happens, because statistically, we're all libel to be attacked at some point in our lives nobody where we live.

    Also, it's so stupid how gun haters bring up stats about kids and people being shot. They don't bother to mention how many deaths there are from other things like, cars? Car accidents kill a lot more people than guns. Good seatbelt dialogue.


    Quote Originally Posted by Zach View Post
    I used to love the old show Unsolved Mysteries and one story that always stuck with me was a mother and her (under age 10) son. They were canoeing somewhere and another conoe passed with two men -- they hoot and hollered and harrassed them, but they passed on. Later, the mother and son were moored on shore eating lunch or something, and the same couple men in the canoe passed again -- this time, they stopped and overtook them. They didn't even have weapons, they simply overpowered her. They repeatedly raped her in front of the son and they were never caught. My wife and I often canoe ourselves, and this story alone is one of the reasons we both began carrying. Plus, we camp, boat, hike and bike quite a bit, and any simliar situation could arise.

    The other day, Holly and I were going to a movie in a very old theatre that used to be a church -- the restrooms are located outside, and she exited the building to go. She said it was the creepiest, darkest hallway TO the bathroom...and then the bathroom itself was in such a weird location that even if she were to scream nobody would be able to hear. She said it was stupid not to turn back and that situation alone was enough to warrant getting a CHL.
    It is utterly illogical to believe that passing laws to reduce gun violence will be successful when those who are commiting the gun violence do not obey the law.

  16. #90
    Senior Member Array Sarge45's Avatar
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    Tell her to get over herself. Her perception of things is not your reality. She don't want to carry ? Fine. She don't want you to ? Tuff.

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