Girlfriend NOT happy about me carrying

Girlfriend NOT happy about me carrying

This is a discussion on Girlfriend NOT happy about me carrying within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; My gf and I have discussed me carrying several times. I plan on getting my CWP in July, and I've been trying to get her ...

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  1. #1
    Member Array hcrum87hc's Avatar
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    Girlfriend NOT happy about me carrying

    My gf and I have discussed me carrying several times. I plan on getting my CWP in July, and I've been trying to get her to be okay with it, but I think that may be impossible. I've expressed to her several times that I'm only getting it b/c I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something bad happened to one of us (her in particular) that I was able to prevent but didn't. She keeps telling me that I would never need it and it just makes her uncomfortable to think I have a gun on me. I keep responding that many people never think they need it until it's too late and something's already happened. Unfortunately, she's very naive to what goes on in the world. Even though she knows there are evil people out there that wouldn't hesitate to hurt her, she thinks that it can't happen to her. What could I possibly tell her to help her see the truth?


  2. #2
    VIP Member Array AZ Husker's Avatar
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    Drop her off on the "wrong side of the tracks" and tell her you'll pick her up a mile down the road. When she refuses, ask why not???

    There are many ranges that offer introductory courses for women. Once she sees that it's only a machine, not some monster, she may come around. If not, you'll save a ton of money on dates.
    Treat me good, I'll treat you better. Treat me bad, I'll treat you worse.

  3. #3
    Distinguished Member Array Dakotaranger's Avatar
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    Not a thing. If the VT tech, NUI, the mall shootings in Utah and Washington State, and church shooting in Colorado didn't do it nothing will do it until something happens.

    My mom was three doors a way from a shoot out where our town cop was shooting and she still doesn't see the need, heck I can't even get her to lock the doors to her house when she is home in spite of the fact of we had a break in when we were kids and a neighbor had a BG kick a door in.
    "[T]he people are not to be disarmed of their weapons.
    They are left in full possession of them."

    Zacharia Johnson (speech in the Virginia Ratifying Convention,25 June 1778)"The best we can hope for concerning the people at large is that they be properly armed." ~Alexander Hamilton

  4. #4
    VIP Member Array AZ Husker's Avatar
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    Here's a real good website for her...she might want to start carrying herself.

    Cornered Cat - Table of Contents
    Treat me good, I'll treat you better. Treat me bad, I'll treat you worse.

  5. #5
    Member Array hcrum87hc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AZ Husker View Post
    Here's a real good website for her...she might want to start carrying herself.
    Yeah I've been there a few times. I haven't mentioned it to her b/c when I usually bring it up, she gets defensive and doesn't want to talk about it. If she started carrying, I'd be the happiest man ever. I'm just so afraid that something will happen to her b/c of her naivety. I'd also like for her to read the thread about why people started carrying.
    "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him."-Jeremiah 17:7

  6. #6
    Member Array polardaddy's Avatar
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    my ex-wife was horrible, she'd wait until we were out in a crowded area and almost shout," Good God are you carrying? why do you feel the need to carry a gun!" we did that once, I told her to never ever ever do that again. My present g/f soon to be wife prefers me to carry when we go to some of the less then stellar areas. go figure

  7. #7
    Senior Member Array SilenceDoGood's Avatar
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    Delicate situation. Many people might say your life isn't worth this girl, although you would probably say otherwise. So the trick is to warm her up to it. You probably shouldn't have said anything in the first place, but thats neither here nor there. Take her shooting at least a few times. The women I have taken out love shooting after I can drag them out there, and honestly are usually better than men when they first start out (probably because they have few notions from Hollywood telling them how to shoot) and that is encouraging. Be positive with her the whole time and make it a positive experience. Go out for lunch at her favorite place afterwards, these things will tell her brain to associate positive emotions with weapon experiences, and thats how females operate. Finally, get you CWP, and she probably (initially) won't be okay with it, but she will most likely warm up to it, and won't dump you over it.

    If all else fails, explain that in a relationship compromises have to be made in order maintain the integrity and balance, and that you'd appreciate her cooperation. Tell her if she has a serious problem after a month of you carrying and it is intervening with your lives that will you reconsider the choice, but for the love of god don't keep a calander, make sure you have a nice concealable weapon, and a darn good rig, b/c you don't want her to think about it AT ALL, and then before you know it two months will have gone by before she says anything.
    "A government is like fire, a handy servant, but a dangerous master." -- George Washington

  8. #8
    Distinguished Member Array Agave's Avatar
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    I've said for a long time that the only thing worth my freedom is my soul; and that is between me and God. This specifically applies to women. Frankly, you shouldn't worry about what she thinks about it.
    The preceding post may contain sarcasm; it's just better that way. However, it is still intended with construction and with the Love of my L-rd Y'shua.

    NRA Certified Pistol Instructor, Tennessee Certified Instructor

  9. #9
    Member Array hcrum87hc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilenceDoGood View Post
    Delicate situation. Many people might say your life isn't worth this girl, although you would probably say otherwise. So the trick is to warm her up to it. You probably shouldn't have said anything in the first place, but thats neither here nor there. Take her shooting at least a few times. The women I have taken out love shooting after I can drag them out there, and honestly are usually better than men when they first start out (probably because they have few notions from Hollywood telling them how to shoot) and that is encouraging. Be positive with her the whole time and make it a positive experience. Go out for lunch at her favorite place afterwards, these things will tell her brain to associate positive emotions with weapon experiences, and thats how females operate. Finally, get you CWP, and she probably (initially) won't be okay with it, but she will most likely warm up to it, and won't dump you over it.

    If all else fails, explain that in a relationship compromises have to be made in order maintain the integrity and balance, and that you'd appreciate her cooperation. Tell her if she has a serious problem after a month of you carrying and it is intervening with your lives that will you reconsider the choice, but for the love of god don't keep a calander, make sure you have a nice concealable weapon, and a darn good rig, b/c you don't want her to think about it AT ALL, and then before you know it two months will have gone by before she says anything.

    I have taken her shooting, and here's the kicker...she loved it! She even started considering getting a pistol. Then all of a sudden, she was back to her old gun hating ways. Maybe I should take her shooting more often...We have come up with a way to ease her into it. Whenever we're going out, I'll ask her if she minds if I carry. If she says no I agreed to not carry, but that I might, depending on where we're going. And of course, I have the power of veto. I made her promise she would say yes occasionally to make sure she would actually try to ease into it.
    "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him."-Jeremiah 17:7

  10. #10
    VIP Member Array AZ Husker's Avatar
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    Man, if she's running your life already, just wait until she corners you in that church...
    Treat me good, I'll treat you better. Treat me bad, I'll treat you worse.

  11. #11
    VIP Member Array SIGguy229's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hcrum87hc View Post
    My gf and I have discussed me carrying several times. I plan on getting my CWP in July, and I've been trying to get her to be okay with it, but I think that may be impossible. I've expressed to her several times that I'm only getting it b/c I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something bad happened to one of us (her in particular) that I was able to prevent but didn't. She keeps telling me that I would never need it and it just makes her uncomfortable to think I have a gun on me. I keep responding that many people never think they need it until it's too late and something's already happened. Unfortunately, she's very naive to what goes on in the world. Even though she knows there are evil people out there that wouldn't hesitate to hurt her, she thinks that it can't happen to her. What could I possibly tell her to help her see the truth?
    Unless your wedding bands match (), she doesn't get a vote.

    I was pretty much up front with my wife when we were dating...if she had a problem with it, we could agree to disagree...and if she felt uncomfortable around them, she had two choices, either learn to live with it or find someone else. Oh yeah, and the guns were paid for. After 2 kids and 11 years later, she gets a vote.
    Magazine <> clip - know the difference

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  12. #12
    Member Array riverkeeper's Avatar
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    Pretty much what some of the others said.

    Show her some stats on crime in SC....

    Crime Rate Comparison: Columbia Vs. Greenville

    Do not go on about it, just QUIETLY carry with no show-off macho stuff, possibly a small handgun.

    Get some training and offer to pay for her too....this worked for my wife.

    Guess is she'll probably accept it at some point ... stop TRYing to convince her. This is an emotional decision for many folks and argument may be detrimental.
    Old testament....Shooting to Live 1942
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  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by SIGguy229 View Post
    I was pretty much up front with my wife when we were dating...if she had a problem with it, we could agree to disagree...and if she felt uncomfortable around them, she had two choices, either learn to live with it or find someone else.
    Honestly, and I don't say this lightly, this is probably what you should do, if you feel strongly about carrying. If she feels so strongly about it to make it a deal breaker, you probably shouldn't marry her in the first place. It will only get worse when the two of you are married. It's your decision whether you carry, it's her decision whether she does. You need to give her the latitude to do the things she feels strongly about as well.

    My wife and I both make our own decisions about what we, personally, do or don't do.
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  14. #14
    VIP Member Array PatrioticRick's Avatar
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    When I was first carrying my wife had that attitude, the best thing I did was watch the news, everyday there was something brought up, didn't even have to look. Someone shot here, someone stabbed here, on and on. Now when we go out she checks to see that I'm armed.
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  15. #15
    Member Array brokenbow's Avatar
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    Just my opinion. NON NEGOTIONABLE. You've decided to take your safety into your own hands. Follow through and carry always when legal. Never leave home without it. Never compromise on this issue.
    My wife didn't think that I needed to get a CWL, she just didn't think that it was necessary. I told her that I DID think that it was necessary and that I intended to carry always and everywhere that it was legal "so get used to it". Of course we've been married for 24 years so I was given a little slack with what I could say. Once she saw that I was not trying to be "RAMBO" she became very comfortable with it.
    Again this just my OPINION.

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