She called me paranoid... - Page 2

She called me paranoid...

This is a discussion on She called me paranoid... within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Originally Posted by PaulJ What about getting her started "easy" with a taser or some maze (whatever is legal in your state). They are less ...

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Thread: She called me paranoid...

  1. #16
    Senior Member Array CR2008's Avatar
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    Actually, I keep telling her to carry pepper spray

    Quote Originally Posted by PaulJ View Post
    What about getting her started "easy" with a taser or some maze (whatever is legal in your state). They are less intimidating to people then a gun, and may move them more into the self-defense mindset.

    Also consider: The gun will be no good and may actually do more harm if she is not ready to use it.
    I told her about mace etc... I told her about alarms, and she knows about tazers... she does not see the importance of ANY OF THESE... and her mindset is basically "it won't happen to me" and 'if it happens, complying is enough."
    http://www.bloombergfightbackfund.com/
    Sig P220R/Sig P239 (9mm)/ S&W 640/ Ruger Single Six Hunter (.22LR/Mag)/ CZ 452 Varmint .22LR/ Lee Enfield No4 MK2 sporterized dated 1959/ Mosin Nagant M90-30 dated 1942/


  2. #17
    Ex Member Array BikerRN's Avatar
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    As I read the desription of the woman in question, one thought kept running through my mind.

    You can't fix stupid.

    I wouldn't try to convince her, or do more than you already have, to do more will probably just drive her away. Instead, accept that she is an adult and capable of making her own decisions, even poor one's.

    Carrying a gun, and being willing to take a human life should require a lot of "soul searching" before the decision is made, and nobody should want to have to take a life. Some people are not mentally able to come to terms with that, and that is fine for them, not for me.

    Let her live her life, and if something happens to her and she survives, support her, but don't be an, "I told you so."

    Biker

  3. #18
    Senior Member Array Sergeant Mac's Avatar
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    You say, "paranoia".

    I say, "a heightened sense of awareness."

    A rose, by any other name.....

    As for your predicament, I'd suggest pointing out that you know that there's a very SMALL chance that you'll ever be the intended victim of a violent crime, just as there's a very SMALL chance that you'll get in a head-on traffic collision.

    .....but nobody thinks anyone is paranoid for wearing a SEAT BELT....AND buying a car with airbags......AND a high crash test rating......AND being aware of traffic around them.....AND driving more carefully than the bare minimum allowed by law....

  4. #19
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    For some reason a lot of folks are just more comfortable living like this:

    ALWAYS carry! - NEVER tell!

    "A superior Operator is best defined as someone who uses his superior
    judgement to keep himself out of situations that would require a display of his
    superior skills."

  5. #20
    VIP Member Array SatCong's Avatar
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    Some people you cant reach.
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  6. #21
    Member Array packin's Avatar
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    Don't give up, you just have to change your approach maybe.

    for over 3 months I heard the same thing.

    just today on a trip out of town my wife seemed to finally come around and started to discuss my concealed carry and even stated that she was interested in me taking her out to learn how to properly shoot a gun if for anything to start being prepared at home. It's a start !!!!!

    It may take time but don't give up !!! I didn't and it's just now starting to pay off.

    Good luck and I hope she will come around to accept it.

  7. #22
    Member Array Puppy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ccw9mm View Post
    Neither does she. Sadly, it may well take being raped and found bleeding in the gutter for her to realize: evil exists, her life has value, and it's up to her to be the first to defend it (if she finds it of value). Without that, there's not much you can do.

    Point her in the direction of some of the discussion threads, here. Consider Lima's posts, or the web site that Pax has put together. Those might be a start.
    Try to get her to look at the "Cornered Cat" Web site. It's written by and for women.

    If she has had her own relative murdered and does all the other things you mentioned, she may have a death wish or some psychological hang up. Maybe guilt at losing her 1/2 sister?

  8. #23
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    I have a friend that says because I live in a relatively small town
    ( about 27,000 ), that there is no need to carry a gun everywhere.
    I asked him to tell me one disadvantage to carrying one and he could'nt come up with anything. Then after thinking about it a few days, the only thing he came up with was " You'll never feel at ease, you'll always be on edge". So that was the best he could come up with, which is not even true....
    Good luck with your friend. I prefer to not even talk about it with anti friends. Tell her it's your choice if you want to play it safe, it's hers if she wants to risk it.

  9. #24
    Member Array cl00bie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CR2008 View Post
    Any how, I don't know how to convince her... she is the type of person that will even accept open drink from complete strangers at clubs.... she is the type of person to not even think twice about walking down a dark ally, she would ride her bike around the "hood" type areas as well, I keep telling her that's unwise, especially when it gets late... she is oblivious to everything around her.

    Don't know what to do.
    I think it's like the Matrix. Not everyone is ready for the "red pill". They just keep taking the "blue pill" so they don't have to acknowledge that the world is a dangerous place.

    (PS, mods, I think that would make a good standard smilie)
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  10. #25
    Member Array Puppy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by packin View Post
    Don't give up, you just have to change your approach maybe.

    for over 3 months I heard the same thing.

    just today on a trip out of town my wife seemed to finally come around and started to discuss my concealed carry and even stated that she was interested in me taking her out to learn how to properly shoot a gun if for anything to start being prepared at home. It's a start !!!!!

    It may take time but don't give up !!! I didn't and it's just now starting to pay off.

    Good luck and I hope she will come around to accept it.
    Good point. When I told my sister I was getting a CCWL she told me I was never to carry when I was with her. (NO I didn't listen to her.) A few months ago she asked to go to the gun range. Frankly she was so scared it made her spastic and I really did not want to let her handle the gun. Some things a relative should not do, teaching a spouse to drive is another example.

    Just a few night ago she asked about my guns. Said she wanted to know where they were in the house, "just in case." I pointed out that knowing wouldn't help if she didn't know how to use them. The next day I bought her a can of MACE.

    Today she surprised the heck out of me. We were going to a festival and she asked if I was carrying. I said no! (I lied.) She then picked up her mace. I also have mace.

    It appears there is some progress.

  11. #26
    VIP Member Array JerryM's Avatar
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    I know a lot of men and women who do not desire to carry, but they are willing to be responsible for their safety. Their safety does not mean it is necessary to carry a gun.

    If one lives or travels in a relatively risky area, then it might be necessary to choose the time when he/she goes through that area.

    In the normal course of events the chances of needing a gun for self defense are miniscule, in spite of what many seem to think. If one prefers not to carry then that is OK as far as I am concerned, and the probability of needing to defend one's self is very small.
    If you stay out late at night, frequent bars or live in a bad area there is a greater danger, of course, but you might not be able to carry in a bar anyway.

    I think the worry is overdone my many, and the chances of needing a gun for self-defense will probably never happen to you. I suspect the odds are one in several million for the average person.

    I grew up with guns, and enjoy having and shooting them. I do carry, and have for a number of years, but I do not ask my wife to do so, as she has no interest.
    Would it come as a surprise that neither of us has ever needed a gun for defense?

    I have not needed one even in church. :)

    Regards,
    Jerry

  12. #27
    Member Array Zach and Holly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CR2008 View Post
    I have been trying to convince my old college friend to consider signing up for a basic handgun course, and become informed as to getting an Ohio CCW.... I told her that I got my own carry permit, and her response was that "I was paranoid." She won't even get pepper spray... safety does not seem to be of great concern to her.

    This must be a common reply many here get... but this person actually knew people who were victims of rape and sexual assault (one victim was her 1/2 sister that was stabbed to death after a group of men was sexually harassing her, when she tried to get away from them, one person stabbed her... and this was in public too, in Jamaica.) She lives in Cleavland Ohio (a city well known for violent crime... it's on this list of "worst cities" as it relates to crime rates in America.)

    Any how, I don't know how to convince her... she is the type of person that will even accept open drink from complete strangers at clubs.... she is the type of person to not even think twice about walking down a dark ally, she would ride her bike around the "hood" type areas as well, I keep telling her that's unwise, especially when it gets late... she is oblivious to everything around her.

    Don't know what to do.

    This is what I would say!

    "If someone broke into your house and came at you and you had a gun sitting on the table....would you grab it to defend yourself from the intruder coming at you? Or would you leave the gun on the table."

    She'll of course answer yes....

    "And you're calling me paranoid because......I'm prepeared for that...or?"

    It's funny how whenever ANYBODY is scared they will look for a weapon be it a steak knife. bat, golf club...etc. But yet people call us paranoid for simply keeping the weapon with us.
    It is utterly illogical to believe that passing laws to reduce gun violence will be successful when those who are commiting the gun violence do not obey the law.

  13. #28
    Member Array cl00bie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NKMG19 View Post
    Have her go to Corneredcat.com.
    If this does not help her then leave her alone. She might or might not come around to taking self defense seriously.
    This is an excellent website for everyone (except for the sarcastic "men" section).
    -Tony

    "Those who beat their guns into plowshares will plow for those who didn't." -- Thomas Jefferson

  14. #29
    Senior Member Array CR2008's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Longbow View Post
    Someday she may understand why you carry and why she should.
    I hope she survives.
    Well, most people can go through life never being a victim... but I know too many people who were victims and I simply told her that I am not paranoid, just a realist.
    http://www.bloombergfightbackfund.com/
    Sig P220R/Sig P239 (9mm)/ S&W 640/ Ruger Single Six Hunter (.22LR/Mag)/ CZ 452 Varmint .22LR/ Lee Enfield No4 MK2 sporterized dated 1959/ Mosin Nagant M90-30 dated 1942/

  15. #30
    Senior Member Array CR2008's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JerryM View Post
    I know a lot of men and women who do not desire to carry, but they are willing to be responsible for their safety. Their safety does not mean it is necessary to carry a gun.

    If one lives or travels in a relatively risky area, then it might be necessary to choose the time when he/she goes through that area.

    In the normal course of events the chances of needing a gun for self defense are miniscule, in spite of what many seem to think. If one prefers not to carry then that is OK as far as I am concerned, and the probability of needing to defend one's self is very small.
    If you stay out late at night, frequent bars or live in a bad area there is a greater danger, of course, but you might not be able to carry in a bar anyway.

    I think the worry is overdone my many, and the chances of needing a gun for self-defense will probably never happen to you. I suspect the odds are one in several million for the average person.

    I grew up with guns, and enjoy having and shooting them. I do carry, and have for a number of years, but I do not ask my wife to do so, as she has no interest.
    Would it come as a surprise that neither of us has ever needed a gun for defense?

    I have not needed one even in church. :)

    Regards,
    Jerry
    Well, those stats are not applicable if you live in a place known for crime and violence, such as where I am from originally (Jamaica). My father had to draw his weapon 3 separate times (One of which I was around, when he was trying to clear road blocks due to riots on streets.) Same goes for my uncle, he had to actually fire it when he was car jacked... actually, it's the NORM for people who handle money (business owners etc) to be armed in places like that, and there is no second amendment there either. When you call police, they literally can take an hour... and if you live in a 'good area' it can take 20+min (That's how long they took when my neighbor was shot dead, he was armed but they ambushed him at night when he pulled up to drive way.)

    The thing about statistics and crime is that YOU don't choose whether or not you're a victim, criminals do... but at lest there are ways to avoid possible situations and if there were none, at lest being armed increases survival if such a thing were to happen. I know too many people who possibly could have been alive today, if they were BOTH alert AND armed (I can think about at lest 5 people I personally knew) And they are not simply numbers on paper, they are people with families... looking one a number is impersonal, when you SEE the faces, that's a totally different thing.
    http://www.bloombergfightbackfund.com/
    Sig P220R/Sig P239 (9mm)/ S&W 640/ Ruger Single Six Hunter (.22LR/Mag)/ CZ 452 Varmint .22LR/ Lee Enfield No4 MK2 sporterized dated 1959/ Mosin Nagant M90-30 dated 1942/

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