She called me paranoid...

This is a discussion on She called me paranoid... within the Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; unfortunately, my gf is similar in that she doesn't see the need for a handgun and has refused to go to the range with me ...

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Thread: She called me paranoid...

  1. #31
    New Member Array Strapped's Avatar
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    unfortunately, my gf is similar in that she doesn't see the need for a handgun and has refused to go to the range with me in order to get her aquainted with the gun should she ever be in a situation where she needs to defend the fort. I'm not gonna give up though.

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  3. #32
    Senior Member Array Sky Pilot's Avatar
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    A young lady of my acquaintance once called me paranoid.
    She was in a dress and heels and was in a suit, and we'd just had a nice dinner out.
    She bumped my hip and smiled when I told her it was a revolver, and she started the name calling.
    I smiled and said "Thank you."
    I was a cop at the time and she didn't know it, at least until it hit the fan at the convenience store where we'd stopped because she had a headache and wanted to buy some aspirin and go to the little girls' room.
    All of a sudden I wasn't paranoid anymore.
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  4. #33
    Distinguished Member Array Stetson's Avatar
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    Many change their tune once they've become a victim.Let's hope the cocky ones are lucky enough to survive and see the error in the ways.Victims are our strongest advocates!

  5. #34
    Distinguished Member Array JerryM's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CR2008 View Post
    Well, those stats are not applicable if you live in a place known for crime and violence, such as where I am from originally (Jamaica). My father had to draw his weapon 3 separate times (One of which I was around, when he was trying to clear road blocks due to riots on streets.) Same goes for my uncle, he had to actually fire it when he was car jacked... actually, it's the NORM for people who handle money (business owners etc) to be armed in places like that, and there is no second amendment there either. When you call police, they literally can take an hour... and if you live in a 'good area' it can take 20+min (That's how long they took when my neighbor was shot dead, he was armed but they ambushed him at night when he pulled up to drive way.)

    The thing about statistics and crime is that YOU don't choose whether or not you're a victim, criminals do... but at lest there are ways to avoid possible situations and if there were none, at lest being armed increases survival if such a thing were to happen. I know too many people who possibly could have been alive today, if they were BOTH alert AND armed (I can think about at lest 5 people I personally knew) And they are not simply numbers on paper, they are people with families... looking one a number is impersonal, when you SEE the faces, that's a totally different thing.
    Hi CR,
    I agree with that. However, we here in the USA do not normally face such circumstances, but many seem to believe we do. In some areas there are dangers and must be prevented to the maximum.

    The statistics in Jamaica are much different, as they are in so many other countries.
    I personally know of a couple of young men who were in the wrong place at the wrong time and were killed as a result of an attack on another person. That does not alter the fact that I do not think that the average person not hanging out in the wrong places is any danger that would require him to be fearful.

    I am glad we are not in Jaimaca, and do feel for people who are in such a situation. I might mention it is not safe just a few miles from me across the border. I don't go there.

    Regards,
    Jerry

  6. #35
    Senior Member Array wht06rado's Avatar
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    Honestly there probably isn't much you can do. I would never try to convince someone to carry if they didn't whole heartedly want to. She is going to have to come to it on her own, sadly. Maybe you should offer to take her shooting as a start. I just took my lady friend to shoot. She had never even held a handgun, but by the time we were done shooting she was asking me when we could go shoot again. Take it one step at a time.

    Wht
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  7. #36
    VIP Member Array paramedic70002's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zach and Holly View Post
    This is what I would say!

    "If someone broke into your house and came at you and you had a gun sitting on the table....would you grab it to defend yourself from the intruder coming at you? Or would you leave the gun on the table."

    She'll of course answer yes....
    Maybe not. I've had people tell me they wouldn't harm an intruder to save themselves or their family, because violence is wrong. It never occurred to them that they were allowing violence by not stopping it.

    People like this are doomed until they have their epiphany. Beyond reach.

    Tell her either, 1. You both agree to not talk about the issue EVER AGAIN as long as opinions don't change, or 2. You are giving up your friendship because you can no longer associate with people who are just that stupid. The friendship will only sour both of you.
    "Each worker carried his sword strapped to his side." Nehemiah 4:18

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  8. #37
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    Sheep is sheep; but, one's choice is one's choice; that is what makes this country what it is.

  9. #38
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    I can almost grudgingly respect someone who won't raise a hand in violence, even to save their own life. I think they have a seriously flawed belief system, and that they are partly responsible for every subsequent victim of their agressor, but if they believe in nonviolence that strongly - at least they are putting their money where their mouth is.

    It's the absolute idiots who firmly believe "it'll never happen to me" that really make my blood boil. Especially when it has happened to folks near and dear to them. I wouldn't say that carrying a gun is the right answer for everyone, but to refuse to acknowledge that it's a dangerous world and to wander around blissfully unaware of their surroundings all the time, with no regard to personal security is sheer lunacy.

    Joe

  10. #39
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    see if a local LE agency has any programs appropriate for her or any way to get her to meet with them to discuss the things that have happened to people that thought "it won't happen to me"

    I agree with getting her on the cornernedcat and Lima's site

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  11. #40
    Senior Member Array Natureboypkr's Avatar
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    Not trying to be funny, but maybe she should consider a Basic Common Sense Course before doing the firearm one.
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  12. #41
    Member Array Zach and Holly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by paramedic70002 View Post
    Maybe not. I've had people tell me they wouldn't harm an intruder to save themselves or their family, because violence is wrong. It never occurred to them that they were allowing violence by not stopping it.

    People like this are doomed until they have their epiphany. Beyond reach.

    Tell her either, 1. You both agree to not talk about the issue EVER AGAIN as long as opinions don't change, or 2. You are giving up your friendship because you can no longer associate with people who are just that stupid. The friendship will only sour both of you.

    Yeah, maybe change the question to "would you pick up the handgun if an intruder came through the window into your 4 year old girl's bedroom with the intention of sexual assault/kidnapping."

    Could a mother possibly still say no??
    It is utterly illogical to believe that passing laws to reduce gun violence will be successful when those who are commiting the gun violence do not obey the law.

  13. #42
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    Here is a very well written story by a Cleveland Plain Dealer reporter who admits to similar feelings of invincibility until she was raped. Maybe since it happened in Cleveland and is described in great detail, she might relate to this.

    Beyond Rape: A Survivor's Journey from The Plain Dealer - cleveland.com

    Also, ask her if she is aware of the two attacks that took place in the last few weeks in two suburban parks. Both victims were women alone in the parks. One is dead and the other is paralyzed after being shot in the spine. It's been all over the news here.

    Man accused in park beating faces death penalty, charges from second attack - Cleveland Metro News – The Latest Breaking News, Photos and Stories from The Plain Dealer

  14. #43
    VIP Member Array miklcolt45's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CR2008 View Post
    I have been trying to convince my old college friend to consider signing up for a basic handgun course, and become informed as to getting an Ohio CCW.... I told her that I got my own carry permit, and her response was that "I was paranoid." She won't even get pepper spray... safety does not seem to be of great concern to her.

    This must be a common reply many here get... but this person actually knew people who were victims of rape and sexual assault (one victim was her 1/2 sister that was stabbed to death after a group of men was sexually harassing her, when she tried to get away from them, one person stabbed her... and this was in public too, in Jamaica.) She lives in Cleavland Ohio (a city well known for violent crime... it's on this list of "worst cities" as it relates to crime rates in America.)
    I live in Florida. When my children were very young we taught them to swim. Why? I didn't know anybody whose child had drowned. It would probably never happen to us or anyone we know.

    Still, FL does have some water nearby (we're surrounded), along with lakes, rivers, swimming pools, etc. Was I paranoid?

    Since those days, I had a pastor friend whose 4 year old daughter drowned. I was with a couple on Friday whose 14 month old granddaughter drowned. It was heart-wrenching to sense the incredible pain they feel at the loss of this young life so precious to them and their daughter.

    Who's paranoid?

    Will that convince someone who refuses to acknowledge the reality that crime happens?
    Probably not. Still, victims rarely plan the time or circumstances.

    I choose proactive. Some people never will.
    Last edited by miklcolt45; June 2nd, 2008 at 03:20 PM. Reason: grammar
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  15. #44
    Distinguished Member Array T Bone's Avatar
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    Sounds like your friend is in denial. But she's not going around thinking it won't happen to her. She already stated if a rape occurred, she'll be compliant so she'll be okay. She has the mistaken belief that if she does not resist, she will not be harmed.

    She does not understand that rape is a crime of violence. And she's not considering that rape is not the worst thing that could happen to her.

    But she is unwilling to consider any scenario's that would cause her to leave her "happiness bubble". She is being the very definition of the saying "ignorance is bliss". She wants nothing to do with anything that will upset her bliss.

    Some are simply content to remain . In fact, they prefer it that way. If you try to push the issue, you will likely become one of those things that upset her bliss. Leave it alone and go about your relationship (whatever sort it is). Maybe in time, she will become curious about firearms, etc. That may be an opening to some progress in self preservation awareness.
    Regards, T Bone.


    "Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety". Benjamin Franklin

  16. #45
    Senior Member Array Phillep Harding's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by T Bone View Post
    Sounds like your friend is in denial. But she's not going around thinking it won't happen to her. She already stated if a rape occurred, she'll be compliant so she'll be okay. She has the mistaken belief that if she does not resist, she will not be harmed.
    Some things can only be experienced to be understood. I'd wonder if anyone ever gave her a serious beating when she was younger. If not, she has no understanding of being subjected to violence to reason from.

    Quote Originally Posted by T Bone View Post
    She does not understand that rape is a crime of violence....
    To pick a nit, some of the things called "rape" these days should not be called that. Those low violence "rapes" change the meaning of the word, just as the word "torture" has been changed.

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